Hello, I am a first time poster. I've been struggling as a functioning alcohol dependent/ alcoholic for the past several years... but have been terrified of telling anyone. From the outside in, it looks like I have it all together - gainfully employed (in a very toxic environment though) long-time married, 3 wonderful kids, grand kids, homeowner... but I am a mess inside and have been for as long as I can remember. I have had severe anxiety for my entire life - earliest memories of kindergarten were fear and shame. Did not get properly diagnosed with panic disorder until I was 27. I've been on many different anti depressants which helped depression but never seemed to get to the heart of the anxiety.
Anyway, about 15 years ago I started drinking (I'm in my mid 40s). At first it was just a release and I could choose to not drink but in the past several years, I have been regularly consuming an entire bottle of wine every night even on work nights (I know that may seem like not a lot to some here but it is huge for me) and slogging through my days feeling hungover and miserable. My mother drank herself to death a few years ago and I am terrified of following in her footsteps.
A few months ago, I discovered Dr. Ameisen's book and devoured it. That is when I began reading the posts here as well. It took me a long time to get up the courage, but I finally called Dr. Levin four weeks ago. I told him I was interested in trying Baclofen. He was very nice and we set up three appointments to talk. I felt hope for the first time in a very long time. I messed up on the first appointment and called two hours late because I am on the West Coast and did not realize that we had been scheduled for Chicago time. He was nice enough to talk to me at home later that night but he did not seem to remember me from the first call. He did not prescribe Baclofen that night. He seemed to tell me the very same things he had told me on the first call... I chalked it up to him getting so many calls... I told him that we had scheduled two more phone meetings. I was embarrassed about my mistake so I was vigilant about the second appointment. His line was busy busy busy. After 1/2 hour of sitting in the conference room at work, I called his cell. He apologized and said he was having issues with the insurance company and could I call him in 1/2 hour, so I did. He was still unable to talk so he called me back an hour later. I felt that he really did not remember me or that we had spoken before so I told him that I was eager to start Baclofen. He went through he protocol and told me he was putting the prescription in the mail. That was exactly one week ago and the prescription has not arrived. I know first class mail takes awhile but it has been 7 business days... I had an appointment today and called him precisely at the time we scheduled... busy busy busy... I called the cell and had to leave a message. An hour later I called his work number again and got him... again, he did not seem to remember me or that we had scheduled an appointment... in fact, he had not been in his office at all and had been taking care of some personal business (which in all fairness to him was important, but he could have called me to reschedule...) I told him that the prescription still had not arrived. He told me to go to a pharmacy and to have them fax him an authorization for "what I wanted" - I told him I had no idea what I wanted - he started to go through the daily protocol again. I reminded him that we had been over this and told him that I just didn't know how many pills to ask the pharmacy for. He told me how many to ask for...
Never in my life have I walked into a pharmacy cold and asked them to fill a prescription... this is all completely foreign to me... it has now been 4 weeks since I first spoke to Dr. L. and still no baclofen and my hope is turning to frustration and fear that this is all not real... Tomorrow I will go to my local Rite Aid and try to figure out what to say to them. I do not understand - on our first appointment, he seemed so attentive and willing to guide me thought this... now it feels like I am completely on my own as always... I do not have much hope that they will do it.
Has anyone else here experienced this? What am I doing wrong? Thank you very much for listening.
:upset:
Anyway, about 15 years ago I started drinking (I'm in my mid 40s). At first it was just a release and I could choose to not drink but in the past several years, I have been regularly consuming an entire bottle of wine every night even on work nights (I know that may seem like not a lot to some here but it is huge for me) and slogging through my days feeling hungover and miserable. My mother drank herself to death a few years ago and I am terrified of following in her footsteps.
A few months ago, I discovered Dr. Ameisen's book and devoured it. That is when I began reading the posts here as well. It took me a long time to get up the courage, but I finally called Dr. Levin four weeks ago. I told him I was interested in trying Baclofen. He was very nice and we set up three appointments to talk. I felt hope for the first time in a very long time. I messed up on the first appointment and called two hours late because I am on the West Coast and did not realize that we had been scheduled for Chicago time. He was nice enough to talk to me at home later that night but he did not seem to remember me from the first call. He did not prescribe Baclofen that night. He seemed to tell me the very same things he had told me on the first call... I chalked it up to him getting so many calls... I told him that we had scheduled two more phone meetings. I was embarrassed about my mistake so I was vigilant about the second appointment. His line was busy busy busy. After 1/2 hour of sitting in the conference room at work, I called his cell. He apologized and said he was having issues with the insurance company and could I call him in 1/2 hour, so I did. He was still unable to talk so he called me back an hour later. I felt that he really did not remember me or that we had spoken before so I told him that I was eager to start Baclofen. He went through he protocol and told me he was putting the prescription in the mail. That was exactly one week ago and the prescription has not arrived. I know first class mail takes awhile but it has been 7 business days... I had an appointment today and called him precisely at the time we scheduled... busy busy busy... I called the cell and had to leave a message. An hour later I called his work number again and got him... again, he did not seem to remember me or that we had scheduled an appointment... in fact, he had not been in his office at all and had been taking care of some personal business (which in all fairness to him was important, but he could have called me to reschedule...) I told him that the prescription still had not arrived. He told me to go to a pharmacy and to have them fax him an authorization for "what I wanted" - I told him I had no idea what I wanted - he started to go through the daily protocol again. I reminded him that we had been over this and told him that I just didn't know how many pills to ask the pharmacy for. He told me how many to ask for...
Never in my life have I walked into a pharmacy cold and asked them to fill a prescription... this is all completely foreign to me... it has now been 4 weeks since I first spoke to Dr. L. and still no baclofen and my hope is turning to frustration and fear that this is all not real... Tomorrow I will go to my local Rite Aid and try to figure out what to say to them. I do not understand - on our first appointment, he seemed so attentive and willing to guide me thought this... now it feels like I am completely on my own as always... I do not have much hope that they will do it.
Has anyone else here experienced this? What am I doing wrong? Thank you very much for listening.
:upset:
This time 4 SURE! 
Comment