success with NAL leaves me questionning myself

[spuddleduck]

during the last 9 months or so ive been dabbling with nal in the hope to be able to drink moderately. My first goes with it had little effect, i maybe drank a bit more slowly but with the same end result.pissed and hopeless. I then discovered that for me i i took the nal about 2 1/2 hrs before drinking i just COULD NOT DRINK ALCOHOL. this for me was unheard of. i was really trying to get that wine/vodka down my neck but it was like drinking poison. off home to bed for me. wehey and hallelluha i think. im fixed, mended.... ive found the answer. well its not quite so simple as that. I have 8 nal tablets sat in my drawer and i havent touched them for 3 months. WHY WHY WHY. this really has me questioning what i want. I know if i follow the rules i will not be able to drink... is this not what i wanted. i guess im still wanting to have my cake and eat it. i only drink once a week now and am pretty strict with myself about that but it is still all out bingeaholic. so for me.... yes nal most definately stopped me drinking (though i needed to wait longer than the suggested 1 hour) but there is still stuff going on in my head that needs fixing ....... the desire to drink/get drunk is still there. hmmm work in progress for me i think