Hey Emily!
It is good to hear from you again. I can totally relate to what you are thinking about with all of this. It's been on my mind, too.
I think I am at the "switch" or am "indifferent" now, which is awesome, but I still have the thoughts of alcohol like you do as being relaxing, rewarding and an obvious choice for celebrating. Like right now, I just finished a side job that has been stressful and has taken me the last 2 weeks to complete. My wife says "We should celebrate tonight!" My brain automatically goes to drinking some beers while we sit out on the patio this evening. That is a result of conditioning not craving.
I know that a lot of us taking baclofen struggle with this. Some folks seem to make a kind of peace with alcohol and moderate successfully. Others choose abstinece and that solves the problem in a different way.
If you want to try to do an AF stint, I'm in. We could start anytime. Maybe it could give each of us some clarity and perspective on this issue. (I'm not expecting that we have to come to any knid of agreement or anything like that, btw.)
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