Hey Everybody-
I have been thinking of all of you and lurking a bit here and there. An update is long overdue, I know. (Thanks for the nudge by the way Skull.) So I am still taking bac- down to 50mg now. I have been tapering off very slowly for the past 9 months, looking for the lowest effective dose and wondering if I might be able to come off completely. I expect cravings to return with each drop, but so far so good. I switched over a year ago and *almost* can’t remember what it’s like to crave booze.
I did try to have a few beers one night after getting frustrated about some issues I was having with AA and the sponsor I was trying to work with at the time… it was a rebellion of sorts. I enjoyed a couple of beers while grilling on the barbeque, but then I sort of slipped into my old habit of sitting in the living room with the lights low, listening to music. Before I knew it, I had polished off a six-pack and began entertaining thoughts about riding my bike up to the liquor store for more. I went to bed instead. The next morning I had a nasty hangover and a firm desire to not drink anymore. That old habit is obviously still hard-wired somewhere in my brain, so I am going to respect that and let it be. I think I am up to 9 months AF again.
I have been through the gamut this past year, like many of you. I have experienced PAWS intermittently and had some rough bouts with depression. I started an AD a couple of months ago which seems to be helping quite a bit. Learning how to feel things and interact with people has been the hardest part of my recovery. It’s getting better as time goes by. I have been working with a counselor off and on and doing couples therapy with my wife. I also started practicing mindfulness meditation a bit, along with exercising regularly (weightlifting, bicycling and running), which probably does the most for me in terms of improving physical and mental well-being.
So I am sober and life is good!
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