UKBlonde's Sinclair Method journey

[YouKayBee]

UKBlonde's Sinclair Method journey

spuddleduck;1607205 wrote: thanks ukb. im being lazy by not looking it up myself but as you are our resident expert I like to ask you. also the info being out here may help others. did you try nalfamene and if so did you find a difference. I probably could get it from my docs as they have record of my problems with alcohol. call me daft but at the moment I don't want to go through it all with my doc. I have a new doctor who I haven't discussed these things with and for some crazy reason I don't want to. even though I know she will have all my records detailing my problems for some reason I wanted to keep myself 'clean and nice' with her. if, as I hope I will have continuing success with nal I will have to go through her as my finances are not too jolly at the moment.

No I haven't tried it, it wasn't available when I started TSM and by the time it was there wasn't much point switching, I wasn't using Nal much and didn't need to change. My GP did offer it to me, would have prescribed for me but I declined. I've stuck with the same Dr through it all, she's difficult to get an appointment with and a bit of a walk away, I could change to one closer but decided can't be bothered explaining everything again, plus I've got most things including Nal on repeat if I ever need it again.

[YouKayBee]

UKBlonde's Sinclair Method journey

So here I am a week later, still AF still feeling ok. Yes I still get moments where I want to choccify or even boozify myself but the booze cravings aren't cravings, they are urges to disappear into a hole.

They can be batted away.

[Guitarista]

UKBlonde's Sinclair Method journey

Ukblonde;1610909 wrote:

They can be batted away.

With a spirited hook shot to the leg side, over the fence and out of the ground for 6!

[spuddleduck]

UKBlonde's Sinclair Method journey

I'm thinking the cute kitty santa hat is sooooo last season. soon be easter

[YouKayBee]

UKBlonde's Sinclair Method journey

My cat can wear the hat a bit longer - twas my birthday at the weekend, and we always kept the decorations up for my party as a child. Sort of an extended Christmas.

Been given some beautiful presents, couple of which took my breath away. One is a lovely big leather satchel style briefcase I can use for my course and my training placements. Going to look really cool.

On my birthday I could have gone to a club type music night, but decided couldn't be bothered. Had family and nephews round for a few hours, then went out with MR UKB to my favourite handy restaurant. He had a glass of wine, which I initially felt a bit left out of but that soon passed and he only had the one. Had nice food with sparkling water which is my treat drink like it or not.

Had a squizz at the bill and glass of wine = ?4, sparkling water bottle = ?1.50. Imagine if we'd been drinking a bottle of wine, or even a bottle each. Had nice food, then off to the cinema to watch the Mandela film. Didn't need a drink or popcorn or whatever after nice foodage. Back home to bed by 11.30pm. Up in morning for church and gym.

In my quest to explore my faith and spiritual side I've discovered the Unitarian Church, didn't know much about it previously although I'd been in the building several times. Anyway it's a mixture of beliefs including christian, pagan, buddhist, born again, and really appeals to me because I don't like the 'thou shalt not' type teachings and personally need something more accepting. I also am reading a lot on the positive psychology side, person-centred theory where people are cast as essentially good (they just get waylaid by behaviour learned from a conditional environment). I've been 3 times now, twice with MR UKB and hoping to go again this Sunday (then I've got a few other things that'll get in the way for a few weeks).

[spuddleduck]

UKBlonde's Sinclair Method journey

sounds like you had a good birthday, and yes, restaurant bills are so much cheaper without booze. my tipple is lime (nearly typed wine) and soda (ice and lemon please) instead of a bottle of crap wine at ridiculous cost.
a lot of people in 'recovery' seem to start exploring their spiritual side/faith. never heard of the Unitarian church before so looked it up. it certainly sounds a bit more accepting than most other 'religions'. I couldn't imagine you would have something to say if you were given a 'thou shall/shall not' speech/teaching.... it immediately gets my back up. ive been thinking of going to the local Buddhist temple where they offer evening meditations. from what I gather, although Buddhist based it is a more general meditation (just a bit of feelgood stuff). as it generally takes me 6 months or more to put thoughts into action I don't suppose I will be posting my experience of it in the near future. im quite taken with the pct theory of people being essentially good.... kinda makes sense really, just got to suss out the learned 'dodgy' behaviour from the natural 'good' behaviour.

have to admit, even if I had a lovely meal I would still feel it compulsory to have popcorn with a film..... hmmmmm..... learned 'dodgy' behaviour.

[Accel7]

UKBlonde's Sinclair Method journey

I'm new here but I must say ... Wonderful thread, UKblonde. Your success with TSM gives me hope. I started on bac nearly a month ago and am now up to 100-120mg/day. Mostly I'm battling SEs, like fatigue, some chest pressure (lessening), and dampened libido (which really annoys me). Have not reached the switch; I still have cravings and still drink, tho admittedly not as much.
My great doc also gave me Nal. I took 50mg before a party and drank 3-4 big glasses of wine, but still got an edge on--and likely would've had more if my wife hadn't prudently taken us home. I'm wondering if Nal has a switch also? Do you keep on taking it and drinking and eventually find that the AL doesn't work? I was hoping even a first dose would do something, but i felt little effect (maybe a little less drunk but I did get a high).
I'm hoping the bac will eventually help reduce cravings while the Nal may dampen my enthusiasm for booze when I do drink? That's my goal anyway -- if the bac SEs don't put me off first.
Congrats on your success story. Inspiring.
Accel7

[YouKayBee]

UKBlonde's Sinclair Method journey

Accel7;1614616 wrote: I'm new here but I must say ... Wonderful thread, UKblonde. Your success with TSM gives me hope. I started on bac nearly a month ago and am now up to 100-120mg/day. Mostly I'm battling SEs, like fatigue, some chest pressure (lessening), and dampened libido (which really annoys me). Have not reached the switch; I still have cravings and still drink, tho admittedly not as much.
My great doc also gave me Nal. I took 50mg before a party and drank 3-4 big glasses of wine, but still got an edge on--and likely would've had more if my wife hadn't prudently taken us home. I'm wondering if Nal has a switch also? Do you keep on taking it and drinking and eventually find that the AL doesn't work? I was hoping even a first dose would do something, but i felt little effect (maybe a little less drunk but I did get a high).
I'm hoping the bac will eventually help reduce cravings while the Nal may dampen my enthusiasm for booze when I do drink? That's my goal anyway -- if the bac SEs don't put me off first.
Congrats on your success story. Inspiring.
Accel7

Hi Accel7

Thanks for your posts. Nal has what we call a 'cure point' which is a day when you realise you no longer have the burning desire to drink alcohol. Some people, a few do respond to the first few doses and some have been cured with the first dose but it commonly takes 6-12 months during which time you must take nal each and every time you drink. This breaks the addiction link between alcohol and your brain but it's more akin to a training process rather than getting a certain amount of medication into your brain. The main effect is usually being aware you don't need to drink as much, and actively taken the decision to stop drinking mid-session, and go to bed or switch to a cup of tea instead.

[spuddleduck]

UKBlonde's Sinclair Method journey

I second that thought ukb. although im still early days, its the awareness a) of the effects of al and b)that I don't need to drink, that has been the biggest thing for me. stopping mid session is unheard of for me but it has happened with nal

[YouKayBee]

UKBlonde's Sinclair Method journey

Lets get a 4th TSM thread up on the front page!!!

I am 6 months AF tomorrow and doing ok. This will be the longest period AF in my adult life. I've nearly made it twice before but always chose to drink at 5 months and so many days.

I am experiencing a lot of stress and emotion at the moment in a situation I cannot control but I need a cool head to not make things worse, however the following GOOD things have come out of it;

I have cried in my partners arms.

I have bawled my eyes out on my own like I've not since before I started TSM 2 years and 9 months ago.

That's right I've experienced extreme emotional distress, cried and worked through it without alcohol.

One of my therapy goals was to cry freely. It's come in little bits but never like this before.

I also don't want to drink or take drugs. Sure the ideas of doing something like that are there but I cannot bring myself to do it.

If anyone wants to tell me about stress triggers I have had more stress, distress and major things happen to me since I started TSM as any other time and I know for myself blaming drinking on stress is a load of rubbish. In fact when I was drinking alcoholically there was less stress in my life because I didn't care, and because I didn't do anything challenging cos I was off my head and detached - so I wasn't being exposed to real life..

The idea of going back there makes me feel sick.

6 months here I come.

[YouKayBee]

UKBlonde's Sinclair Method journey

I want to write some stuff here about my relationship status.

I've been hearing and reading in a variety of places the experiences of women in relationships, and quite a few say very similar things. They say their male partners are not supportive of their goals, don't help out at home, try to get digs in or sabotage anything they wish to change.

Every so often I get asked why I've never married, sometimes it's suggested that there is something wrong with me because I don't fit into the husband, children standard mould. Then I am hearing all this stuff about unhelpful partners.

Back in my late teens I dated men who would tell me to stay home, settle down but I had my own ideas and was also involved in sports and education and had a fierce sense of independence. As a result of insecurity which I put down to how my parents and upbringing was, I also would get to a point in relationships where I'd feel tied and want to [before they did it first] get out. Now the men who didn't want me to have my own interests I soon left behind and made sure I only chose men who were supportive and could accept the whole of me. I didn't always get it right however, and there were battles within relationships - add in alcohol and at one point recreational drugs and 'settling down' was never on the cards. I also thank God that I didn't have a family to see just how bad I was, as far as I'm concerned I was always going to be alcoholic, and to have gone through what I have done in charge of children could have been horrendous.

Fast forward to now, whilst I was still drinking I met a man who I became friends with. This man I didn't treat very well at first, as time went on we formed a relationship and he just stuck with me through thick and thin. As I got into recovery he was there, he took on new activities some of which took over our lives. He did sometimes be a bit lax, but as I got in touch with myself I was able to communicate what was how simple things impacted on me and he then knew what he needed to do instead of trying to be a mind reader.

I've only been in the relationship as a couple for ~ 2 1/2 years, although we were pretty close for a while before that.

He knows my weaknesses, and my strengths. It's not perfect or 'ideal' by a long way and definitely not conventional (for example he's married to someone else(it's ok they agreed the marriage was well over before we got together and we have all met), but we make each other happy and I have his support which is wonderful. I've cried in his arms recently and he told me I'm the strongest person he knows (and he knows a lot of people).

So no I'm not conventional, but I have a very loving relationship and there are men out there who are touchy feely, and who will cook, do the ironing, vacuum the house and put fresh flowers out for me to return to when I've been away. He says it is the way he was brought up. I think he's a very special person.:h:l

[skullbabyland]

UKBlonde's Sinclair Method journey

Hi UKB, thought I'd pop in here and catch up on your thread... I'm glad you posted some thoughts on relationships and some of your experience. I am so glad that you've got a good partner who's there for you I know of many relationships that are unconventional and wonderful, and I've had one or two myself. He sounds like a good guy and I'm glad that you've got a supportive loving relationship.

In my mind, having a partner that is unwilling to be supportive around goals that matter, especially one as important as recovering from the hell of addiction, is a dealbreaker. I also don't do well with possessiveness, irrational jealousy and one who lashes out or knocks others due to their own insecurities. Yes, nobody is perfect (I'm not, by a long shot) and we all have moments of pettiness or selfishness but when it comes to being unwilling to support a partner through something this important, well like I said it's a dealbreaker. I understand though that it's not so cut and dry for many, for example people who have kids, homes, etc. So I'm just speaking for me.

In other thoughts-- I see that I missed your six-month anniversary of being free of alcohol- SUPER CONGRATULATIONS to you, my friend! I am glad to hear that you've been able to do the emotional work that is so important, to cry freely, and to do it without alcohol. I am so glad that TSM has been such a powerful method for you and that you're free of alcoholic drinking. You RULE.

[DipGal]

UKBlonde's Sinclair Method journey

Hi UKB... I need to read more of your thread here... but, I just wanted to congratulate you for your success. I am so happy for you! On another note, your relationship sounds wonderful! I've been married twice and I know deep in my heart that this is the final time. DH does not fulfill my needs and never really has. He has huge issues as I have described all over MWO. Go and enjoy your relationship and tell us about it - so that we know it is possible to have someone fill your needs. Who cares about conventionality!

Hugs to you~

[jokerman]

UKBlonde's Sinclair Method journey

Hi UK congrats on your success and its great to hear you have a great partner . J.

[RebeccaRyan]

UKBlonde's Sinclair Method journey

Thank UK Blonde

I am officially Cured!
Today I celebrate 350 days Alcohol free!
I am two weeks away from one whole year.
:h I am so excited! I never believed I would be
here! I want to have complete transparency here
the 350 days are not in a row. Once a week I take
Nal and drink 3 to 4 at the most. Sounds crazy but I
feel deprived if I don't do this. I believe it cements the
Naltrexone experience too. And no hang over. I do not
understand how Naltrexone does that but I would guess
because I am not releasing Endorphins I am not waking up
depleted of them?? My drinking is within healthy limits and
its nothing at all like it used to be! I am so grateful to
Dr. Sinclair I have added meeting him to my bucket list I
would love for that to actually happen. I wish you all the
same success!

NAL-ON
RR