Hey all... longtime lurker, I've read much of the forums and have finally decided to jump in, take the plunge, and document my recovery journey...
:new:
I've been up since 3 am with insomnia (my main bac SE) so decided to get up and and start my progress thread.
My plan is to be titrating up on bac, and I am considering pairing it with Nal/TSM when drinking. On top of those, I'm considering adding the occasional 3-5 day stint of antabuse for when travelling for work/attending conventions (basically times where I can't be hungover and feeling like death, and so taking away the choice to drink altogether).
Doing all this with the careful approval and support (and so far, scripts) of my MD. She's also having me do monthly liver panels (which are elevated right now, causing concern...)
About me-
male, USA, 36 years old.
Alcoholic for 15 years, last 10 years worse and worse.
Binge drinker, 1 to 3 nights per week. Heavy hangovers next day keep me from working, eating right, pursuing passion projects, exercising, or doing much of anything.
Drink of choice- beer, sometimes red wine, anything else around after those are done.
Smoke when I drink. :upset:
Often have intense depression/despair, sometimes leading to suicidal thoughts.
When sober, am generally postitive and motivated towards recovery and healthy behaviors.
Poor health that I'm trying to work on- overweight by approx 40 lbs, high cholesterol, high CRP, high blood pressure, elevated liver.
Have tried Naltrexone/TSM but didn't give it much of a fair shot to take hold (only did a couple months before the drunk in me decided that it'd rather have the buzz back)
Since the cravings themselves are what usually take me down the dark path, I'm now trying to combat them with baclofen at low doses. Have noticed a VERY slight (maybe placebo effect?) decrease in craving, enough to have hope to titrate up.
Presently at only 30 mg bac/day and hope to get up to 80 in a few weeks and reassess.
SE's- most problematic SE by far is insomnia, paired with the feeling of shortness of breath/gasping for air constantly through the night, keeping me awake. Also, some somnolence but can deal with that fine. The insomnia/breath thing is irritating and exasperating and keeps me from sleep which really bums me out. Sometimes melatonin (10 mg) helps, sometimes benadryl (50-100 mg), sometimes they don't help at all.
Being at only low doses so far, I do expect SE's to get much worse as I titrate up. But I guess I'll just bear it and soldier on cuz I can't keep going this way... I do worry, though, about taking too many medications. In addition to the drinking recovery meds I mentioned above, and for the record, I currently take daily-
10 mg lisinopril (for high blood pressure- may go up to 20 mg/day)
20 mg omeprazole (for esophagitis/GERD)
120 mg armour thyroid (for hypothyroidism)
75 mg effexor (for depression/anxiety)
very occasionally, 0.25 or 0.5 mg (i half pill or 1 pill) xanax for anxiety/hangover anxiety (no more than approximately once a month on average)
daily supplements-
1000 mg Vit C
daily multivitamin
calcium, magnesium
Vit D
Vit B
lots of fish oil/Omega 3
So... that's kind of a big cocktail... I'm really hoping that I'm making the right choices with all these meds (and supps etc).
That said, I'm willing to try this stuff because the alternative is just too heavy. If I don't find the switch/extinction/combination to help me moderate/cut down drinking, I don't think my life will really have much value. Drinking pretty much ruins my quality of life.
As a side note, I've also found a bit of hope in exercise- I hired a personal trainer to keep me motivated and on track, and we're lifting weights two to three times per week, and that helps me eat healthier too (on sober days).
Much much much heartfelt thanks to all you posters and active MWOers, bac-ers, TSMers, and recovering drunks in general... I've felt hope for the first time in years by reading your experiences and knowledge.
:new:
I've been up since 3 am with insomnia (my main bac SE) so decided to get up and and start my progress thread.
My plan is to be titrating up on bac, and I am considering pairing it with Nal/TSM when drinking. On top of those, I'm considering adding the occasional 3-5 day stint of antabuse for when travelling for work/attending conventions (basically times where I can't be hungover and feeling like death, and so taking away the choice to drink altogether).
Doing all this with the careful approval and support (and so far, scripts) of my MD. She's also having me do monthly liver panels (which are elevated right now, causing concern...)
About me-
male, USA, 36 years old.
Alcoholic for 15 years, last 10 years worse and worse.
Binge drinker, 1 to 3 nights per week. Heavy hangovers next day keep me from working, eating right, pursuing passion projects, exercising, or doing much of anything.
Drink of choice- beer, sometimes red wine, anything else around after those are done.
Smoke when I drink. :upset:
Often have intense depression/despair, sometimes leading to suicidal thoughts.
When sober, am generally postitive and motivated towards recovery and healthy behaviors.
Poor health that I'm trying to work on- overweight by approx 40 lbs, high cholesterol, high CRP, high blood pressure, elevated liver.
Have tried Naltrexone/TSM but didn't give it much of a fair shot to take hold (only did a couple months before the drunk in me decided that it'd rather have the buzz back)
Since the cravings themselves are what usually take me down the dark path, I'm now trying to combat them with baclofen at low doses. Have noticed a VERY slight (maybe placebo effect?) decrease in craving, enough to have hope to titrate up.
Presently at only 30 mg bac/day and hope to get up to 80 in a few weeks and reassess.
SE's- most problematic SE by far is insomnia, paired with the feeling of shortness of breath/gasping for air constantly through the night, keeping me awake. Also, some somnolence but can deal with that fine. The insomnia/breath thing is irritating and exasperating and keeps me from sleep which really bums me out. Sometimes melatonin (10 mg) helps, sometimes benadryl (50-100 mg), sometimes they don't help at all.
Being at only low doses so far, I do expect SE's to get much worse as I titrate up. But I guess I'll just bear it and soldier on cuz I can't keep going this way... I do worry, though, about taking too many medications. In addition to the drinking recovery meds I mentioned above, and for the record, I currently take daily-
10 mg lisinopril (for high blood pressure- may go up to 20 mg/day)
20 mg omeprazole (for esophagitis/GERD)
120 mg armour thyroid (for hypothyroidism)
75 mg effexor (for depression/anxiety)
very occasionally, 0.25 or 0.5 mg (i half pill or 1 pill) xanax for anxiety/hangover anxiety (no more than approximately once a month on average)
daily supplements-
1000 mg Vit C
daily multivitamin
calcium, magnesium
Vit D
Vit B
lots of fish oil/Omega 3
So... that's kind of a big cocktail... I'm really hoping that I'm making the right choices with all these meds (and supps etc).
That said, I'm willing to try this stuff because the alternative is just too heavy. If I don't find the switch/extinction/combination to help me moderate/cut down drinking, I don't think my life will really have much value. Drinking pretty much ruins my quality of life.
As a side note, I've also found a bit of hope in exercise- I hired a personal trainer to keep me motivated and on track, and we're lifting weights two to three times per week, and that helps me eat healthier too (on sober days).
Much much much heartfelt thanks to all you posters and active MWOers, bac-ers, TSMers, and recovering drunks in general... I've felt hope for the first time in years by reading your experiences and knowledge.
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