Skullbaby's Progress

[istym4me]

Skullbaby's Progress

Antabuse makes you puke if you drink, right? I asked my Dr for some a few years ago, she said no.

[spiritwolf333]

Skullbaby's Progress

Skull-you already sound like a reinvented person -how cool. Having LASIK done was one of better life decisions -about 12 years ago. I guess we all have to face the holidays in some way. I really have found some of these events to better than expected. Guess the former alcohol guided brain wants me to drink before the events start -just to ease the mental pain. So far, these types of functions have not been painful and have really been kind of enjoyable. Sobriety with baclofen creates a whole new world for me. Sounds like it is doing the same for you. Congrats on your days. (What kind of scrutiny are you under?)

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

Spirit- Oh, no actual scrutiny- I was just referring to people's pressuring me to have unhealthy sugary desserts after Thanksgiving dinner No actual pressure to do anything like drink or etc, thankfully.

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

istym4me;1591219 wrote: Antabuse makes you puke if you drink, right? I asked my Dr for some a few years ago, she said no.

Antabuse makes you EXTREMELY sick if you drink alcohol while Antabuse is in your system. Puking is the least of your problems- it'll cause liver damage, ER visits, even a couple deaths have been heard of. Antabuse iS VERY SERIOUS. If you take one Antabuse, you can't drink safely for a week.

It's a great tool for me because it makes sure I can't even consider indulging in alcohol- I HAVE to stay on the straight and narrow once I've taken it. However, those who don't trust themselves not to drink on it should think long and hard, and do a LOT of research and reading, before doing it. Once it's in your system, you're either forced to be sober, or forced to be extremely sick or to the ER.

[istym4me]

Skullbaby's Progress

Thanks for the feed back!

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

istym4me;1592009 wrote: Thanks for the feed back!

You're welcome Best of luck!

[istym4me]

Skullbaby's Progress

You also!

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

Quick update- Day 30 AF. Day 217 on Baclofen at 90mg/day. Day 30 on Antabuse, 125mg/day.

Well, 30 days, and all of November, are in the books. First November, and Thanksgiving, that I've spent sober in probably at least 17 years. Feeling great about that and definitely going to be keeping it going throughout December, and through Christmas/New Years and into 2014.

I'd previously committed to 90 days AF (of which I just completed 30) but I'm thinking of extending this to 120. Though maybe I shouldn't bite off so much so quick and just not put that large of a number on it just yet... might be putting too much pressure on myself... I'll think on that.

Anyway, I'll be continuing my uber-slow baclofen titration this month. I go so tortoise-slow that it should be quite easy. I'm looking forward to how seeing how I'll feel a few months from now...

Best to all.

[MissIndygo]

Skullbaby's Progress

skullbabyland;1592562 wrote: Quick update- Day 30 AF. Day 217 on Baclofen at 90mg/day. Day 30 on Antabuse, 125mg/day.

Well, 30 days, and all of November, are in the books. First November, and Thanksgiving, that I've spent sober in probably at least 17 years. Feeling great about that and definitely going to be keeping it going throughout December, and through Christmas/New Years and into 2014.

Good stuff Skull!
It is nice when the alcohol fog disappears isn't it? I remember from years ago that 2 weeks into sobriety it felt like I was meeting myself again for the first time. Booze really numbs you. That was motivation enough to keep going for another 16 months and then 6 months of controlled drinking (which obviously didn't work out so well in the end for me).

How much are you increasing the bac? I have been going up by 5mg a week and that seems to keep the SEs at a manageable level.

Keep up the good work and keep posting.

[YouKayBee]

Skullbaby's Progress

MissIndygo;1592590 wrote: Good stuff Skull!
It is nice when the alcohol fog disappears isn't it? I remember from years ago that 2 weeks into sobriety it felt like I was meeting myself again for the first time. Booze really numbs you. That was motivation enough to keep going for another 16 months and then 6 months of controlled drinking (which obviously didn't work out so well in the end for me).

How much are you increasing the bac? I have been going up by 5mg a week and that seems to keep the SEs at a manageable level.

Keep up the good work and keep posting.

Yesss :goodjob:

[Guitarista]

Skullbaby's Progress

Congratulations on 30 days AF Skullbaby.

You rock!

G bloke.

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

MissIndygo;1592590 wrote: Good stuff Skull!
It is nice when the alcohol fog disappears isn't it? I remember from years ago that 2 weeks into sobriety it felt like I was meeting myself again for the first time. Booze really numbs you. That was motivation enough to keep going for another 16 months and then 6 months of controlled drinking (which obviously didn't work out so well in the end for me).

How much are you increasing the bac? I have been going up by 5mg a week and that seems to keep the SEs at a manageable level.

Keep up the good work and keep posting.

Thanks, Indy, for the nice comments. Yes, it is both amazing and challenging to re-meet the real you once the alcohol haze lifts. It is a real process of learning, and it's really rewarding but very challenging without the numbing poison.

As for bac, I increase at a rate that might make some people chuckle and/or roll their eyes- 5mg every 10 days. It's sooooo super slow but I believe that it's a "tortoise wins the race" kind of thing. Mostly because if I go quicker, the SE's really mess with me, particularly with sleep, and I really guard my sleep since I believe it's almost as crucial as food and water. So, that works for me.

Sounds like you're also going similarly slow with bac titration- nice to know I'm not the only one, and that it sounds like it's working well for you

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

Thanks for the support, G-Bloke!

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

Feeling crappy today. I had lots of dreams of haunting memories of the past that didn't actually happen, just lots of what ifs, embarrassing and shameful thoughts and dreams, alienating others, etc. Then woke up and had to shake all that off. It seems obvious that I still have stuff to work on mentally and emotionally. I suppose I always will to some degree.

But I'm trying to shake it off and say tell myself to leave the past in the past. Go forth bravely in my new day and be unencumbered by my old nonsense, as Emerson would say. Sometimes, easier said than done. Sometimes my brain wants to wallow in old pain.

Fuck that, soldier- drop that nonsense right now and move forward.

[neophyte]

Skullbaby's Progress

skullbabyland;1593528 wrote: Feeling crappy today. I had lots of dreams of haunting memories of the past that didn't actually happen, just lots of what ifs, embarrassing and shameful thoughts and dreams, alienating others, etc. Then woke up and had to shake all that off. It seems obvious that I still have stuff to work on mentally and emotionally. I suppose I always will to some degree.

But I'm trying to shake it off and say tell myself to leave the past in the past. Go forth bravely in my new day and be unencumbered by my old nonsense, as Emerson would say. Sometimes, easier said than done. Sometimes my brain wants to wallow in old pain.

Fuck that, soldier- drop that nonsense right now and move forward.

hey skull this is me also to a T. i wake up, doze for a bit and i think about my recent life mistakes over nad over and over. i try to say these are good things because they brought me to this forum and being AF.

As i said in the other thread, its when i reach for opiates. i get this almost everyday when i wake up. I hope it goes away with time.

I write this at 4:30 having just woken in that state of mind. i took my bac and codiene and went straight back to bed. once it kicks in, i wont even be high, but the demon thoughts will be at bay.

I'm looking at better ways to resolve this, i have a book on CBT i was going to read, and i was thinking of doing some intense cardio for 30 mins when i wake up instead of using drugs, but ive never been a morning cardio guy, but other than that ive been using drugs to keep the demons at bay in the morning. Im hoping AF time will eventually make this go away.

but congratulations on your 30 days, i remember i relented on day 33. and i instantly regretted it. the hangover was incredibly bad and i didnt enjoy the drinking at all. the drinking that followed was patchy, i still didnt crave as much but old habits were still there. Lucky you have some AB to keep you in check, if you decide on having a drink, you know htat you need to take 2 weeks off to be able to do that, which should give you some time to realise thats a bad idea.

keep us updated, keep posting