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    Skullbaby's Progress

    Cassander;1672287 wrote: Hi skull and spirit

    I am a huge believer in the miracle drug of regular exercise. Many of us reach indifference (one way or another) but still don't feel complete. I think I get that...In particular, I don't think we should ask more of baclofen than it can deliver. It kills the craving of alcoholism. Isn't that enough?

    For me the road to a true and recovered sense of balance and well-being has been all about regular exercise. Over the last ten or so years, I have been going to the gym 2 or 3 times a week for an hour (atleast) a visit. During much of this period I have used a trainer (to make sure I show up and make sure I really work). I also do additional cardio atleast 2 or 3 times a week and feel even better if I can find time for up to 4 or 5 cardio 'events'. My cardio routine is usually an hour running, but I mix it up during the summer with road biking and 'cardio tennis'. Cardio tennis is my term for me and a high school or college kid hitting and me telling him to make me run. We never keep score. In the winter I have been skiing a lot the past few years (60 days each the past two), but in truth downhill skiing is neither a gym workout or a serious cardio session. But it is tons of fun and gets me off my butt and outdoors in the winter. Throw in a little bit of hiking and a tiny bit of golf (without a cart whenever possible) and that's pretty much it.

    I find the gym and cardio sessions dissolve my anxiety within 5 or ten minutes of starting and I am far more calm, balanced, organized and productive when I get back to my desk. The resulting sense of nearly constant well-being is nothing short of miraculous. Perhaps not as miraculous as bac, but right up there. Also, when I feel anxiety descending (sense of dread, colliding thoughts, diminishing patience, etc.) I know I can lick it with as little as a half hour run. Whenever possible I'll stop what I'm doing and go run. I've been doing it for nearly ten years now and quit drinking altogether six years ago. It really works...for me, at least.

    Best,

    Cass
    Hi Cass and thanks for the writing space Skull.

    I had never really thought about exercise as an anti-anxiety remedy -but it truly is, at least for me. Not only does it almost immediately begin to reduce anxiety after starting exercise, it can work its calming properties for up to 3 or 4 hours after the workout. On top of that, I feel much better the next day just knowing that exercised the day before.

    In my opinion, exercise can and will play a huge role in almost anyone's life. As Cass says, a sense of well-being does flood the system -at least this has been my experience as of late. (This sense of well-being kicks in after about 30 minutes of post-cardio workout)

    There are not many drugs that can match the feeling that I get post-workout. I am very curios as to why I don't choose exercise as quickly as I do other drugs that produce a feeling of "well being"? Perhaps it is the thought of how much is required with any particular activity to achieve the result?

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      Skullbaby's Progress

      I know why I don't choose exercise - I'm lazy! (Sorry I would insert a laughing face as many of you do, but I still don't get how to use this board - oh well). Well, the truth is, I'm too much of a drunk to do much physically right now. But there have been periods in the past where I worked out religiously (despite being a drunk - ah, youth!) I hope to get back into that once I'm physically more up to par. It really does do a mind and body good.

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        Skullbaby's Progress

        Hi Lost- just a PS- to do the smiley, type : and then ) , both together without a space between them, and it'll automatically show up as a smiley.

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          Skullbaby's Progress

          Thank you for the tip, skull. I hope your work trip went well

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            Skullbaby's Progress

            Hi Skull,

            Just stopping by to say hello. Hope all is well in skullbabyland!

            Pie

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              Skullbaby's Progress

              Hi Skull - I (we) sure do miss your posts. Hope you are well.

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                Skullbaby's Progress

                deleting double post

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                  Skullbaby's Progress

                  Update- Day 273 AF. Day 460 on bac, currently at 80mg/day. Also (back) on Antabuse, 125mg every other day.

                  Wow, it's been a long time since I've updated here. Sober living has become the new norm and is not the difficult day-by-day living that it used to be, and when I was posting here so often. I guess I've become kind of complacent and a bit lazy when it comes to journaling here. Time to get back and recommit to it in some significant way.

                  The last few weeks were very busy with a giant convention in which my GF and I both had big projects to debut there. I was pulling giant 14-hour days, in one case an all-nighter working before flying out the next morning.

                  For some reason I had let my Antabuse slide sometime during this long-haul of work. Well, I guess if I'm honest with myself I know the reason- I began thinking that maybe I would like to drink while at the convention. Everyone else does- once the convention day is over, everyone goes to the restaurants/bars/parties and has a grand old time. It's giant party craziness. In past years I definitely drank it up, of course outdrinking everyone, still wanting to find more beer at 2 am, and sleeping late and arriving to the convention horrendously hungover and hating life. I didn't understand how other people, surely some of whom are fellow alkies, could function the next day at the convention, when I felt so anxious, jittery, sick.

                  So, this year in the weeks leading up to the Con, I think there were a couple different thoughts going on in my head. One was, "OK, 9 months sober and this seems to be the new norm, and pretty easy now. I must be pretty well recovered. And I've always planned to have an experiment wherein I drink while on my baclofen, to see how different it is than without. Maybe the convention is where I will do that". And I am sure the other thought was just "dude, I've been working hard and doing great. Fuck it, how bout a 'reward', just drink what you want and have fun".

                  So basically, I just wanted to fuckin' drink. Haha, what a shocker, an alkie trying to find excuses for drinking!

                  But it's worth noting that it wasn't like, hardcore cravings or a bender just taking me over. I'd describe it more aptly as "murky thinking".

                  So anyway, all this had led me to drop my Antabuse, and by the time I was working late nights leading up to the Con, I would have been able to drink "safely". I did have a few moments while I was working on this passion project for the Con that I could just say fuck it, abandon the work, and just go get hammered. But unlike almost every night in my previous life, I decided each night to stay the course and finish my work. I was really invested in this project and decided to see it through. I could always just 'reward' myself at the Con, once the project is done, and get hammered then.

                  So far so good... In hindsight I see that this was something of a milestone, especially given how often in the past I'd sabotaged my own work by drinking alcoholically. Everytime I started something worthwhile, I'd get scared and destroy it and myself. This time, I definitely felt the fear but pushed through it and got the work done.

                  Fast forward to the Con- I caught up on sleep at the hotel, and then Friday night, feeling good and went out to a dinner. I got the beer list and everything was "right", conditions to drink were all perfect- project done, convention day done, out with friends where everyone was drinking and celebrating. There was a bit of social anxiety in me too, which beer would have aleviated. I had the beer list and hesitated. I thought of my 270 sober days, the longest sober streak I've ever had. Did I really want to end that streak? I was torn. I did want a beer- but only kinda. I decided to delay the decision and ordered an iced tea, saying that if I still wanted one, I'd eat my meal first with an iced tea and then allow beer after.

                  Well that beer never happened. Instead, I just enjoyed my meal and conversation with friends. Soon the check came and my itch for beer had gone away. I was suprised and happy. My GF said she was, too. She'd thought I was going to order beer, but I suprised us both by deciding not to. We went back to the hotel and the next morning I was so happy to be bright eyed and healthy. So much so, in fact, that I decided to just bail on drinking at all during the convention, and popped an Antabuse. Decision made- this trip would be a sober one.

                  The rest of the convention was fun and nice in a sort of mellow way. Lots of partying and drunkenness around me, and I was just a mellow observer of all the craziness. I did feel a bit of sadness at being an "outsider", never being able to let loose of my inhibitions via alcohol as everyone else was, but it's still preferable to the inevitable sickness etc the next day.

                  So, now I'm home, and back to regular sober life, and back here at MWO. I missed you all and I'm glad to be back. I plan to keep in better touch than I have the last few weeks, and check in here every morning or as close to it as possible. My 270-day sober streak was a big part, maybe the biggest part, of my deciding not to drink that night, that weekend. And that sober time has been made possible by all of you and MWO itself. Which reminds me, time to go paypal some donation $$ to MWO-- I can do at least that for the site that's helped save my life.

                  So, that's it for now. Tomorrow I'm going to pop around in my friend's threads and say hi and offer any support I can.

                  Love to all.

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                    Skullbaby's Progress

                    Hi Skull. It's good to see you around again. Glad to hear the convention went well. And that was probably a very wise move to go back on Antabuse for the rest of the trip. You can always do your drinking on bac experiment at a later date (if you still want to). Starting that experiment at a convention that you worked so very hard for could have obviously been disastrous.

                    I look forward to hearing more from you again. I've always really appreciated your posts. And congrats on 270 days without alcohol. That's amazing! Hope you have a great night

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                      Skullbaby's Progress

                      God damn, dude, for real. I missed seeing you around but had no idea how long it had been and to see you're AF for 9+ months - it's amazing. You could've had a child in that time, or I could have, if I were still out having sex with random women... anyway, you get the idea. Congrats on the time and the convention and the hard work - both the work work and the work it takes to keep taking the antabuse and stay the course. Good on you.

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                        Skullbaby's Progress

                        I was on the edge of my seat reading to the end to see if you decided to drink! Love the happy ending! Thanks for taking the time to tell this story, Skull!

                        Pie

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                          Skullbaby's Progress

                          skullbabyland;1688401 wrote:


                          Fast forward to the Con- I caught up on sleep at the hotel, and then Friday night, feeling good and went out to a dinner. I got the beer list and everything was "right", conditions to drink were all perfect- project done, convention day done, out with friends where everyone was drinking and celebrating. There was a bit of social anxiety in me too, which beer would have aleviated. I had the beer list and hesitated. I thought of my 270 sober days, the longest sober streak I've ever had. Did I really want to end that streak? I was torn. I did want a beer- but only kinda. I decided to delay the decision and ordered an iced tea, saying that if I still wanted one, I'd eat my meal first with an iced tea and then allow beer after.

                          Well that beer never happened. Instead, I just enjoyed my meal and conversation with friends. Soon the check came and my itch for beer had gone away. I was suprised and happy. My GF said she was, too. She'd thought I was going to order beer, but I suprised us both by deciding not to. We went back to the hotel and the next morning I was so happy to be bright eyed and healthy.
                          So much so, in fact, that I decided to just bail on drinking at all during the convention, and popped an Antabuse. Decision made- this trip would be a sober one.

                          The rest of the convention was fun and nice in a sort of mellow way. Lots of partying and drunkenness around me, and I was just a mellow observer of all the craziness. I did feel a bit of sadness at being an "outsider", never being able to let loose of my inhibitions via alcohol as everyone else was, but it's still preferable to the inevitable sickness etc the next day.

                          .
                          Great post and info Skull !!! The decision to wait and decide whether to drink after eating was perfect -in my opinion. Sounds like you out-smarted the beast, or at least, called the alcohol's bluff.

                          And Skull, this story could be an opening in your book -should you ever decide to write one.

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                            Skullbaby's Progress

                            skullbabyland;1672837 wrote: I also went armed with 5 of the various papers on baclofen efficacy and treatments, the prescribing guide, etc., and she took them to look over. So, whatever happens, BIG THANKS to TerryK for making that stuff available!!!
                            You're welcome! How'd it go with your new doctor? And congratulations on the 9 months!

                            -tk
                            TerryK celebrates 6 years of sobriety and indifference to alcohol thanks to baclofen

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                              Skullbaby's Progress

                              terryk;1688713 wrote: You're welcome! How'd it go with your new doctor? And congratulations on the 9 months!

                              -tk
                              Ah, yes Terry, thanks for asking-- it wasn't until you asked that I realized I hadn't updated on the baclofen script issue.

                              So, all is well for now- basically, my old doctor (bless her, I will love her forever for being a forward-thinking doc regarding baclofen) connected with my new doctor via phone and the new doc has agreed to continue the bac treatment at my current dose of 80mg/day for the time being. This is with the caveat that I check in with her in 3 months for blood tests, which is good, but also that she wants to talk about my long-term plan regarding baclofen- she wants me to make a plan to go off of it eventually.

                              So, that presents a challenge. Do I continue on baclofen indefinitely? Or for just another few months, or year, or year(s)? I don't really know, but I guess it is good to begin thinking about that.

                              So, any and all of you baclofen folks- what is your plan regarding long-term baclofen use? Do you all plan on taking it for the rest of your life, or if not, how long?

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                                Skullbaby's Progress

                                LiS, Stuck, Spirit, Pie- thank you all for the kind words and supportive comments. Much love

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