Skullbaby's Progress

[RedThread12]

Skullbaby's Progress

:H:H:H LMS syndrome. You nailed it!!!

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

@Spirit- yeah, I have been following the Abstinent 30-Day thread. For some reason I'm hesitant to take that challenge on myself... it seems like a lifetime of boredom. I suppose that fact in itself should teach me something... anyway. I know I need to do it, but like everything in my life, I'm having a hard time committing to it.

@bleep and Red- Ass-like stunts and LMS indeed! I've been and done both far too many times to count. At least with my bac/nal I've gained a little room to make the choice.

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

Quick update-

Monday- both the gf and I got drunk last night, though oddly her moreso than I (which is hardly ever the case). Both hung over and missed our flight home from SD. A stupid $500 mistake (had to buy new tickets). One of many expensive and needless mistakes due to drinking too much.

Finally got home. Man, does air travel make me crabby. I just totally hate it. Not the flying itself but all the waiting around in airports, lugging baggage from home to cab to airport to cab to hotel to cab to airport to cab to home. My back always hurts me constantly. I'm thinking next time... road trip.

Tuesday night, craved beer. We went up to pick up our puppy from our friends who kept him for the week, and I saw that we'd be home well after the liquor stores closed, so I made sure to buy beer before our ride. Was craving, and even scarier, making plans to drink. Waited til we got home at 11 pm to start drinking. Took 25 mg nal (not 50, since I'd let some time lapse since my last nal) and then had 7.5 beers with pints of water inbetween each. Took sleep aids around 2 or 3 am, didn't get asleep til 5 am.

The late night looked very much like my old pattern, but the only encouraging sign is that around 7.5 beers, I lost all interest and decided to eat food. Previously, I would have drank through til at least 10 or 12 beers. So that's encouraging.

That said, the last week (in both SD and back home) definitely felt like backsliding into old alcoholic drinking.

Yesterday, I increased my dosage up to 100mg/day.

SE's- the insomnia/out of breath thing came back last night. I even took 3 benadryl over the course of the night (150mg total). Still kept waking up gasping for air. I'm going to hang out here at 100 mg for a good 2 or 3 weeks and let the sleeping get back to normal, and see how cravings feel. Another SE I noticed is the drowsiness yesterday afternoon/evening, to which I lost a good half work day.

Also one other annoying SE is that I've definitely noticed ringing in my ears. Especially noticeable when wearing earplugs (for sleep) and gets momentarily louder when I flex/grind my jaw, yawn, etc. Anytime I flex my jaw or temples. No biggie but definitely noticeable.

Well, off to work. Best to all.

[bleep]

Skullbaby's Progress

Skull, it is happening. Just keep going up. I wouldn't go up so slowly as you are planning though. Three weeks per increase is agonizingly slow.

If that's your plan, then so be it, and best of luck. There is no right way to go about it.

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

Thanks Bleep. Yeah I am going to hang out here at 100mg for a while and really see how the cravings feel, because I suspect I'm near my switch.

Update-
As mentioned above, currently at 100mg/day. This is Day 5 at this dose, and Day 5 of AF.

I've been currently waffling back and forth on the idea of trying for a 30day AF stint. I'm hesitant to commit to it for some reason. If I did, that'd make me sober for my mom's bday/family party, girlfriend's bday, and my own bday. I'm sure that's probably a good thing but it feels kind of agonizing.

I'll think on it a bit more and post here what I decide.

As far as cravings the last 4 days, I've definitely had some, but was able to delay it until they subsided. As before, during my last AF stint, they felt more like habitual than actual salivating-at-the-thought cravings. Like "Wow it's Friday night, I usually drink. Should I drink tonight? Might be nice!... blah blah".

Anyway, in spite of my non-committal attitude, I've been able to successfully maintain them AF. I suppose I can feel good about that.

Today, supposed to catch up on work. I'll be late on a deadline if I don't finish, and that won't look good. Then tomorrow through Wednesday/Thursday I'm supposed to work on art projects, which I won't do if I'm drinking and hungover. So I'm really trying to keep in mind that those things should take priority over getting fucked up for the millionth time.

Best to all.

[Cassander]

Skullbaby's Progress

skullbabyland;1535757 wrote: ...were you able to update your doctor thread to reflect that I have her info, for any of those needing her in the Denver area?

Thanks again

Yup. Thank you.

[Medicated&Motivated]

Skullbaby's Progress

Hi SB,

I enjoyed spending a good part of the afternoon reading your progress reports. I am in my 3rd week of TSM (and yes, I have a presence there under the ID writeratlarge). I have read Dr Estapa's book but not Dr. Ameisen's, though I plan to.

Clearly, perseverence is key to both Bac and TSM approaches. I'm already impatient that I haven't made greater progress, and I'm only three weeks in. Since you've elected to use both, I'm particularly interested in your story. Thank you for being so honest and consistent in your posts and please keep it up. I'm giving TSM my wholehearted attention for now and have so far been 100% compliant with the protocol (best I can remember, anyway. Kidding!) I'm determined, whatever it takes, and after 20+ years in and out of sobriety, to get this thing under control and get back to a happy, productive, useful life.

Congratulations on your efforts and achievements thus far and I wish you continuing success.

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

Medicated&Motivated;1537664 wrote: Hi SB,

I enjoyed spending a good part of the afternoon reading your progress reports. I am in my 3rd week of TSM (and yes, I have a presence there under the ID writeratlarge). I have read Dr Estapa's book but not Dr. Ameisen's, though I plan to.

Clearly, perseverence is key to both Bac and TSM approaches. I'm already impatient that I haven't made greater progress, and I'm only three weeks in. Since you've elected to use both, I'm particularly interested in your story. Thank you for being so honest and consistent in your posts and please keep it up. I'm giving TSM my wholehearted attention for now and have so far been 100% compliant with the protocol (best I can remember, anyway. Kidding!) I'm determined, whatever it takes, and after 20+ years in and out of sobriety, to get this thing under control and get back to a happy, productive, useful life.

Congratulations on your efforts and achievements thus far and I wish you continuing success.

Hi Med! Thanks for the kind words and I'm glad that you're working TSM. I've read that it's helped many people, and as you know from my thread, I find it useful in my own treatment.

I'm not on the TSM forums too much anymore, I frequent the bac boards more often but I'll pop on over and check out your thread. Hope you stick around here too and keep us updated on your progress.

Best of luck!
Skullbaby

[thomas m]

Skullbaby's Progress

Medicated&Motivated;1537664 wrote: Hi SB,

I enjoyed spending a good part of the afternoon reading your progress reports. I am in my 3rd week of TSM (and yes, I have a presence there under the ID writeratlarge). I have read Dr Estapa's book but not Dr. Ameisen's, though I plan to.

Clearly, perseverence is key to both Bac and TSM approaches. I'm already impatient that I haven't made greater progress, and I'm only three weeks in. Since you've elected to use both, I'm particularly interested in your story. Thank you for being so honest and consistent in your posts and please keep it up. I'm giving TSM my wholehearted attention for now and have so far been 100% compliant with the protocol (best I can remember, anyway. Kidding!) I'm determined, whatever it takes, and after 20+ years in and out of sobriety, to get this thing under control and get back to a happy, productive, useful life.

Congratulations on your efforts and achievements thus far and I wish you continuing success.

Hey M&M...

I participated in TSM last year with great results up to a point. If I can give you any advice, absolutely NEVER have a drink before taking your Nal 1 hour before hand. I started in July of last year and my units halved within a week. My cravings never really subsided the way I would have liked but my life for the most part was great guns. Cue Xmas and I ran out of Nal, drank for about 10 days without Nal and within about 2 weeks I was back to square one. I tried for about another month back on the Nal but things didn't seem to click any more. It knocked the heart out of me hence why I'm now on Baclofen. Which ever path you follow I hope you get were your after.

Sorry for hijacking Skullbaby's thread

[Medicated&Motivated]

Skullbaby's Progress

thomas m;1538211 wrote: Hey M&M...

I participated in TSM last year with great results up to a point. If I can give you any advice, absolutely NEVER have a drink before taking your Nal 1 hour before hand. I started in July of last year and my units halved within a week. My cravings never really subsided the way I would have liked but my life for the most part was great guns. Cue Xmas and I ran out of Nal, drank for about 10 days without Nal and within about 2 weeks I was back to square one. I tried for about another month back on the Nal but things didn't seem to click any more. It knocked the heart out of me hence why I'm now on Baclofen. Which ever path you follow I hope you get were your after.

Sorry for hijacking Skullbaby's thread

Ha ha, I don't think Skullbaby minds, and thank you for speaking up. I appreciate any Nal input; I have a 3-month supply on the way and so far have been successful at taking 1-hour before drinking. One thing I'd like "a second opinion" on; that Nal has only a 4-hour half life? In the book, Dr Eskapa says you can take your 50mg in the morning and it will still work that evening. But I've also read a lot about people "topping" off a second time within 12 hours but is that really necessary? Usually I wait until later in the day anyway, but early on I was drinking all hours so taking it first thing as a precaution made sense.

Thank you both for your insights and encouragement.

[YouKayBee]

Skullbaby's Progress

Medicated&Motivated;1538357 wrote: Ha ha, I don't think Skullbaby minds, and thank you for speaking up. I appreciate any Nal input; I have a 3-month supply on the way and so far have been successful at taking 1-hour before drinking. One thing I'd like "a second opinion" on; that Nal has only a 4-hour half life? In the book, Dr Eskapa says you can take your 50mg in the morning and it will still work that evening. But I've also read a lot about people "topping" off a second time within 12 hours but is that really necessary? Usually I wait until later in the day anyway, but early on I was drinking all hours so taking it first thing as a precaution made sense.

Thank you both for your insights and encouragement.

I too initially took it early in the day, because I didn't think I could wait one hour once I decided. I would often top up later on if I thought I was going to drink more than 4-6 hours later. I think as you go along and experience a reduction in cravings you'll find you can manage this much better.

Sorry if this has hijacked SBs thread.

[YouKayBee]

Skullbaby's Progress

thomas m;1538211 wrote: Hey M&M...

I participated in TSM last year with great results up to a point. If I can give you any advice, absolutely NEVER have a drink before taking your Nal 1 hour before hand. I started in July of last year and my units halved within a week. My cravings never really subsided the way I would have liked but my life for the most part was great guns. Cue Xmas and I ran out of Nal, drank for about 10 days without Nal and within about 2 weeks I was back to square one. I tried for about another month back on the Nal but things didn't seem to click any more. It knocked the heart out of me hence why I'm now on Baclofen. Which ever path you follow I hope you get were your after.

Sorry for hijacking Skullbaby's thread

Top advice, one of the main reasons for failure with TSM in non-compliance. I've never drank without it since I started, and never intend to. I'd rather not drink and have had to just not drink in various situations where I hadn't taken my pill.

[Medicated&Motivated]

Skullbaby's Progress

Ukblonde;1538364 wrote: I too initially took it early in the day, because I didn't think I could wait one hour once I decided. I would often top up later on if I thought I was going to drink more than 4-6 hours later. I think as you go along and experience a reduction in cravings you'll find you can manage this much better.

Sorry if this has hijacked SBs thread.

UKB, For the most part, my drinking is starting later in the day, so I'm not taking it first thing every day, but if I do slide back into drinking in the morning or round the clock, I'll add the extra Nal, just to be on the 'safe' side. Thanks for the input. How is your AF stretch going?

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

I'd also just add to the nal/TSM conversation (and I think this applies to the bac/switch treatment, too) that both treatments, in particular TSM, require no small degree of patience.

Believe me, I want to get to indifference as quick as I can too, but I think we need to keep in the forefront of our minds that just because our progress seems slow for 1, 3, 6, 9, 12 months, or whatever, maybe even more, that doesn't mean the treatment isn't working.

It can be a slow process, and from what I've read, there are people give up home far too early and just abandon it as a failure, basically sabotaging what could otherwise be effective recovery.

Once you pick a road, stay the course! I know there can be dealbreakers such as SE's that are way too intense etc. I totally get that. But short of those, keep in mind that diligence is paramount to anything worth doing!!! (TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE, SKULLBABY lol)

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

Ukblonde;1538366 wrote: Top advice, one of the main reasons for failure with TSM in non-compliance. I've never drank without it since I started, and never intend to. I'd rather not drink and have had to just not drink in various situations where I hadn't taken my pill.

Glad this conversation popped up on my thread. I've been too casual with my TSM, taking my nal only 30 min before drinking or something like that.

50mg 1 hour before drinking, that shit is non negotiable and ironclad, from now on. THIS I VOW