Skullbaby's Progress

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

Update-

Well, family stuff is finally over. Great to see them all and good to mark such important milestones with them, but I'm definitely glad to get back to regular life in which I can focus on getting healthy with less distractions.

Tuesday- AF- it was fairly easy, little to no cravings. I'd hoped to spend all day working on art project but instead read more info on bac safety etc. all day long, partly prompted by recent arguments here on the forum. Finally came to the conclusion that I'm at ease with my choice of medication protocol.

Wednesday- AF. Fairly easy, no cravings.

Thursday- July 4th. Made conscious mental decision that I was going to be AF while celebrating with family tonight. Once I made the mental commitment, it was pretty easy with no cravings. It helped that I'm commiting to this art project and want to stay sharp so I can finish it.

Friday- AF. Fairly easy, only mild thoughts of alcohol. Not cravings really, but more like thoughts of "do I want to?" Decided that not really, I didn't.

So here it is Saturday morning and I've racked up 4 AF days with little discomfort or cravings. It's remarkable to look back on it- I did note that the mental decision/commitment was significant, since if I hadn't done that, it would have been easy to just say fuck it and drink on the 4th with everyone. It seems bac may be making it easier for me to get past cravings and actually make the decision logically...

I'm not saying I've hit my switch yet, I'm going to continue to titrate up slowly and monitor craving levels. But very encouraging progress indeed.
Best to all.

[spiritwolf333]

Skullbaby's Progress

Sounds like you are doing really well Skull. Hope you are enjoying the AF DAYS? After much self debate, I am not really sure where my so called switch is/was. I do know it was probably around the 160 to 180 mark. I kept titrating up to to 220 because of the negation of the anxiety. I know for a fact that I did hit a switch because of my latest alcohol experiment; four beers was as much as I could drink and more than I wanted to drink. My thoughts after the beers: how quick can I get this crap out of my system; and, I sure have wasted some good productive time chasing a high. Wow, I really do love this new af life. Hope you keep chasing the BAC dream Skull.

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

spiritwolf333;1529522 wrote: Sounds like you are doing really well Skull. Hope you are enjoying the AF DAYS? After much self debate, I am not really sure where my so called switch is/was. I do know it was probably around the 160 to 180 mark. I kept titrating up to to 220 because of the negation of the anxiety. I know for a fact that I did hit a switch because of my latest alcohol experiment; four beers was as much as I could drink and more than I wanted to drink. My thoughts after the beers: how quick can I get this crap out of my system; and, I sure have wasted some good productive time chasing a high. Wow, I really do love this new af life. Hope you keep chasing the BAC dream Skull.

Thanks Spirit. I appreciate the post. Sounds like you know a good ball-park figure of where you hit the switch, that's good- the important part being that you hit it.

Really awesome to hear about the recent 4-beers expirement- can you imagine giving up after 4 beers before bac? Man, for me that would be unthinkable- it'd be more like 14 beers and nobody could stop me.

As for productive time, I know what you mean. Between drinking and hangovers (lasting all day) I really wasted SO much of my young adult life. On the plus side, I'm now finding lots of time to be productive lately.

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

Quick update-

Day 6 AF free, tomorrow will mark one week. Aside from making the mental decision/commitment to stay sober on July 4th, I've had very little cravings or obsession with alcohol.

There've been a small handful of times where it's crossed my mind- instead of being "oh fuck yes I can get loaded tonight awesoooomme!" it was more like "hmmm if I want to, I could try to get drunk tonight... do I want to or does that sound like I'll feel crappy? I'll wait on it for a while and see how I feel". Then I wait for a while and sort of just forget to get beer and instead go to bed at a reasonable hour (assisted with my sleep aid regimen mentioned elsewhere).

Mindful decision-making has been a good part of it, such as my decision to abstain on the 4th. But other than that, it's been pretty easy and felt "natural" overall. As any raging alcoholic such as me knows, that is super unheard of before this. Previously I can't remember when I've lasted 6 days AF. It's been years.

So, I think my regimen is working well so far... I've got a followup appointment with my MD this week, I think she'll be happy to hear the report.

Currently I'm at 80 mg. My current near-indifference to alcohol is making me wonder if I'm at or close to my switch... I'm not quite sure if I should continue to titrate up or just sit here at 80 for a while. Thoughts?

[bleep]

Skullbaby's Progress

Wow, you've made good progress, and it seems like you are getting really good results at a relatively low dose. You seem to able to hit AF free nights together with little bother. What really helps, especially from the habitual drinking standpoint, is to run a 30 day stint together. This breaks the habit.

And 30 days isn't hard if you are indifferent. That will let you know. If you aren't it will be a struggle, but if you are, the days just seem to rack up. You can decide after the 30 days what to do, but it can help to solidify it in your mind. This will also give you some guidance as to whether to continue up or remain where you are for a while.

Either way, and whatever route you choose, well done, it really sounds like you are getting there!

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

Bleep, thanks for the post- I think you're right about the 30 day AF stint. Right now 30 days sounds like a lifetime... I'll give it some thought and figure out when the best time to do it might be. I'll keep ya'all posted...

[JDizzle]

Skullbaby's Progress

30 days seemed easy as hell to me at day 0. Now I'm at 17 days and the remaining 13 feels like 113. Hahaha I miss my beer. It has been worth it though.

[Xadrian]

Skullbaby's Progress

I don't want to brag, but at this moment, for me the 30 days will be a piece of cake.

I think I can easily prolong with another month also. I don't miss the beers at all. I have one in the fridge, which I give the finger everytime I open the fridge. Just for therapy.

I am just so happy that I can do this so effortless.

It will come, my friends. It will. I hope that you guys will feel the same at short notice.

[Cinders]

Skullbaby's Progress

I just wanted to pop in and applaud all those trying for the 30 day stint AF.

With Baclofen helping you with the cravings, it should be fairly easy but I can't help but think you will all benefit from taking a complete break from drinking.

It is good for the body, good for breaking a habit and good for learning what life AF can mean, good and bad.

Good on all of you!!
Cindi

[spiritwolf333]

Skullbaby's Progress

Hi Skull -you continue to sound like a man on a mission. Keep this up and you are going to screw your drinking up and start to experience some great things. As bleep would say, spirit u are just getting started good. As X eluded to, I almost feel like I cheated the system getting sober with so little effort after the 30 day mark. And we no that Cinders brings some great knowledge and experience experience to the table. Looking forward to your future updates. What does the wife think so far?

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

JDizz- good on you for rocking the 30 day challenge. I am sure it sucks right now but you're going to feel fantastic when you cross the finish line, I am sure.

Cindi and Xadrian- Agreed and well said. Yesterday marked one week for me and I'm kind of flabbergasted that I was able to do that at all. I'm planning on rocking a 30 day stint very soon.

Spirit- I know what you mean... As I said above, I'm somewhat surprised that I was able to do 7 days at all, let alone somewhat easily- it's always been a struggle before to even get a few days AF at a time. This new medication protocol with baclofen seems to be working well at the moment.

As for the lady in my life (we're totally committed but not married) she's totally on board. I'm lucky and blessed to finally have a gf that understands addiction and doesn't judge me. Even when I'm getting loaded, she lets me do whatever I do (though she'll jump in if I foolishly try something stupid like driving). Her non-judgementalness and support really puts the responsibility for my recovery squarely in my own hands, making my own choices for myself (as opposed to trying sobriety for someone else).

She's up to date on all my various experiments (vitamins, AA/12 step, antabuse, naltrexone, etc) and is on board with me doing what I need to do, provided I do it smartly and do the research. She agrees with me that baclofen mixed with naltrexone/TSM has shown the most positive difference.

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

One thing I thought I'd share in case anyone was interested. Based on recommendations in another thread (I don't remember which at the moment) I decided to get medical ID tags with all the needed info, just in case anything were to happen to me and a doc/nurse needed my background info.

The most important info of course is the meds. I also have my contact info, insurance info, and even supplements etc. on them. I maybe went a bit overboard with the info but I figured I might as well give the clearest picture possible to any doc who may need it.

All the info I decided to put on there necessitated 3 double-sided tags with the most lines/characters available! I got them from Medical ID Bracelets, Medical Alert Bracelets, Medical Id Dog Tags, Medical ID Tags,

In the case of baclofen, since my dosage changes when needed (I'm still titrating up, will need to find mainenance dose, etc) I left the dosage blank and then wrote it in with a small sharpie. I'll change it as needed to keep it up to date.

If for some reason, the pics don't show up below, here's the link to the pics. Flickr: skullbaby68's Photostream

[skullbabyland]

Skullbaby's Progress

Update-

Still holding at 80mg/day. Today is day 10 of completely AF. I've had a few fleeing thoughts that seemed more habitual in nature rather than a craving. They were pretty easy to shake off, so I'm thinking that the bac is working well.

I reported in to my MD. She was happily surprised to hear how well things are working at least for the past 10 days. I was also glad to hear that unlike my previous liver panel, my most recent one was normal (!) A happy surprise to say the least.

I've also gotten my blood pressure down withing normalish levels, and am getting more exercise in (almost daily at this point). I tend to only smoke when I drink, so that's also gone for the time being. I'm also up at 8 am every morning and getting tons and tons done during the day. I was reflecting on this today and reminded myself that all this is due to the absence of getting fucked up every other night. I can actually function like a normal person and not have at least half my week stolen by my addiction.

Still, though I'm encouraged with my progress, I'm still a little wary of proclaiming successful indifference. Not enough time has passed and I am just waiting for the cravings to rear up and blindside me. We'll see.

Best to all.

[spiritwolf333]

Skullbaby's Progress

Skull, glad to hear things are going well. Without alcohol and with baclofen, things only seem to be getting better for me. However, I did (and still do) have to accept that things can and do change on a daily basis. Life starts to get real and that is ok as well. Baclofen helps to reduce my anxiety to the point that I can finally deal with crap -like it or not. Today, all is still good. However, I don't seem to ever know when the extreme somnolence is going to set in and I just try to deal with it the best that I can each time it occurs -even if it means excusing myself from a meeting or an appointment. Keep on keeping on Skull.

[Nutsy Squirrel]

Skullbaby's Progress

Hi Skull. Just wanted to thank you for replying to my first post. It should not have been on that thread. Your journey so far has been inspirational for me because you are functioning well on the various meds. I really want to try the Bac again I just wish there was a way to deal with what others have called Bac brain. Have you experienced this at all?

Also wanted to applaud you on your AF days. You are blessed to have a supportive partner.
Keep on with the keepin on. Still lookin for UK Blondes thread