Hit my switch

[Diver]

Hit my switch

JDizzle,
Congrats and great to see that you were a quick responder! Took me a bit longer but I hit my switch a couple of weeks ago.

I totally hear you on the leaf thing ... I'm really taking a bite out of my "to do list", but as Ne mentioned I need to find something fun and relaxing to do to unwind at the end of the day.

[RedThread12]

Hit my switch

JDizzle . . . WELCOME to the OTHER SIDE!!! It is amazing, non??

Take note of Bleep's offhand "mind-fuck" comment. Both the infinitesimal chance that you would find your way to YOUR Way Out, and the next part - living a splendiforous life without alcohol. AND life is life. Just like they say in AA, one day at a time is still a pretty good approach, Look forward to reading more from you as all this develops. I am So. Happy. for you!!

See.e.e.e . . . . . so great to . . . see you! There's some stuff cookin', and I keep thinking of you. Even though I have no idea who you are!! And great to read that it's still working for 'ya. As it is for me, almost 4 years later.

Onward, baclofentists!

[skullbabyland]

Hit my switch

Lots of good comments here... Great to hear about Dive hitting the switch a couple weeks ago. Seriously inspiring.

The mindfuck element of getting sober and living that way, I suspect, is very important to understand and deal with... Even though our minds are different than the normies, so are our recreational habits. I've gotta start thinking now about what I'm going to replace all-night-drinking binges with, once that's a possiblitiy.

So glad to hear your progress JDizz, and your feeling of peacefulness and spirit of giving back. Very cool

And, like bleep and STP say... yeah man I often shudder to think about if I was born in a time pre-Internet... so sad for all those drunks that came before without access or knowledge of the resources and hope that we now have. I feel seriously lucky that I stumbled on this site... If I hadn't, life would be... who knows?

[skullbabyland]

Hit my switch

PS, Red- I really like the Kabir quote in your sig. Whenever I see it, I pause and ponder the comment, and smile.

[JDizzle]

Hit my switch

I have some questions. So I am abandoning this slow move up from 120 - 150. I have been at 130 for 4 days. Today was the first day of 140. I have been doing (120) 40, 40, 40.... (130) 40, 40, 50. So today was going to be (140) 40, 50, 50. Currently 40, 40, 50.... so I am going to do 40, 40, 40 and stay back at 120. I am already getting SEs again only moving up 10mg from 120. I am sleeping in like hour increments at night and I am getting that Baclofen is weird feeling. The day I hit my switch was 120. I am staying there.

My long way about my question is.... I guess I am afraid because I started feeling normal in the sense that I was not having any SEs and I felt almost like I was not taking any pills. So, I thought maybe my body would get used to 120 and it would not help for drinking anymore. Has anyone experienced where you hit a switch, then your body gets used to that dose and you start drinking too much again? I asked this because my very first day I took 60 and I did not want to drink at all. The next day 60 did not work.

Anyways, for now, I am going back to 120 where I hit my switch (hopefully not a temporary switch). Typical alcoholic... I get what I always wanted and I start panicking that it will get taken away from me

[skullbabyland]

Hit my switch

How long did you stay at 120? How long did you feel indifferent to alcohol at 120?

[JDizzle]

Hit my switch

I got to 120 around mid may. I didn't drink because my SEs were too bad. No SEs 24th.... Drank that night on planned fishing/drinking trip .... Got drunk but noticed a mind set change. Since then I have not gotten drunk. I started 130 on 6/1.

[Xadrian]

Hit my switch

You will not get used to baclofen in the meaning that the non-desire for drinking will wear off.

When I first hit my switch, I stayed there for a month. After that, I decreased every month or so with 10 mg, until mild cravings returned. Then I upped with 10 mg and stayed there for quite a while.

The only stupid thing I did after that, is that I completely went off baclofen. That worked for two months and then the beers started to taste to good again.

So now I switched for the second time (1 year and 9 days after the first switch). The switch dose is still the same as the first time.

So, once you hit the switch, don't be afraid to loose it and don't go up. If cravings return, it means it wasn't the switch and you can go up for another 10 every 3 days until cravings disappear. That's how you find the switch.

But from your posts it appaears that you already found yours, so no need to go up. Just stay steady.

[JDizzle]

Hit my switch

Xadrian, thank you so much. I was honestly really really hoping to hear that. I would like to leave you with a great story about switch confirmed....

Tonight I really freakin wanted a beer. I kind of tried to talk myself out of it because I have to work tomorrow. A beer during the week ALWAYS means no work tomorrow. I was like well I gotta test it out I guess and I really want a beer. So, I had one. Then I thought I would really like another. I made a deal with myself... If I finish breaking down the boxes to recycle in the garage, I can have one. I did that, then went inside to watch the ball game. I decided on the couch I would have 4 tonight (tall boys) and relax watching the game (I work way too much btw so I deserve some me time). Anyways, I had 3 tall boys and stopped because it was going into the bottom of the 9th and I figured I wouldn't finish a 4th one in a half inning. So right now, I have no desire to have another beer... jesus christ it is a beer I already promised myself. It is sooooooooo easy to justify this 4th beer.... naaaa don't feel like it.

So funny ... I still have all these alcoholic thoughts. Like, I was terrified to have a beer because I would miss work tomorrow. I was thinking halfway through beer 3 that I needed to hurry so I could make sure and have the 4th, but I just didn't feel like drinking faster. I guess it will take a long time for 20 years of alcoholic drink preparation to go away. Also, no coke, no gambling at all still. Honestly, after 3 tall boys I couldn't drive fast enough to the coke store. Now it just sounds like such a horrible idea. OMG what a stupid effin thought.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Hit my switch

Morning, JDizz!

Whooooooaaaaaaaaaaaa there Nellie.

JDizzle;1514475 wrote: I want to not drink at all for a while, but I have not really reached a point where I can stick to that which is why I am going to continue to my goal of 150.
There's a whole spectrum of booze-related thoughts and actions in this process, and then there's the paradigm shift. (A phrase borrowed from a friend.) The spectrum includes the alcoholic drinking we're all so familiar with before we start baclofen. Then sometimes, wanting to drink, but being unable to do it. It also includes not really caring about another drink, but the impulse is still there. Whether it be habit or craving is sometimes hard to figure out. If you don't want to drink for a while, but you still want to drink, then it's very likely that it's just going to take a bit more time. For the people who experience a "switch" it's more like nausea, or revulsion. For the rest of us, it's ambivalence coupled with (in my case) just not wanting one more wasted day. (pun intended.)

Basically, if you're still drinking when you don't want to be drinking then there's still something left. And the difference between that place and...indifference is often a matter of time. It's also a matter of amount of baclofen, too. But the two go hand in hand. So 0-eleventy-billion mgs in seconds flat isn't necessarily the answer. Steady as she goes, because:

bleep;1515367 wrote: The whole thing is a bit of a mindfuck.
JDizzle;1516093 wrote:

My long way about my question is.... I guess I am afraid because I started feeling normal in the sense that I was not having any SEs and I felt almost like I was not taking any pills. So, I thought maybe my body would get used to 120 and it would not help for drinking anymore. Has anyone experienced where you hit a switch, then your body gets used to that dose and you start drinking too much again? I asked this because my very first day I took 60 and I did not want to drink at all. The next day 60 did not work.

Anyways, for now, I am going back to 120 where I hit my switch (hopefully not a temporary switch). Typical alcoholic... I get what I always wanted and I start panicking that it will get taken away from me

Notice I didn't quote the question. Because the pertinent stuff is all around the question. The fact that it's all a mind fuck means that there're a whole range of emotions and questions and things-to-be-sorted during the process. Not knowing what to expect, how to feel, whether or not it's real, is absolutely part of it. So while effortlessly drinking less, or not drinking at all, is a "fun new thing" it can also be disconcerting.

So. Relax into it, if you can. No need to rush up. Best not to rush down. Steady on. (What does IFUL say? Softly, softly catchee monkey. Or something that makes no sense but works anyway...) Rest assured, what's happening is a process.

Ne/Neva Eva;1514373 wrote:
It grows exponentially with time. It took me about a year to believe that.

It doesn't disappear.

[JDizzle]

Hit my switch

Ne/Neva Eva;1516251 wrote:
Originally Posted by JDizzle
I want to not drink at all for a while, but I have not really reached a point where I can stick to that which is why I am going to continue to my goal of 150.

Why u bringin up old shit? I uhhhh change my mind a lot. A few things on this.... There never really was a firm resolution I guess. I spoke to a good friend the other night. I bounce my thoughts off him a lot because he is the most normal man in america. He thought what we were all doing is really cool, btw. I told him I could have a couple of drinks, but was concerned because I still REALLY wanted a freakin beer some nights. He said "Dude I get like that a lot!!" The whole point is I don't have 20 because of that thought.

Now the reason I am 100% convinced 120 is my switch is because for one I have not been able to have a few beers and stop 1 time in the last 10 to 15 years. I have done it 4 times since being at 120 and gotten drunk 0 times. This simply is not possible for me. 100% of the time I develop the phenomenon of craving (I took that from our mutual friend as well). Ok, so the indisputable factor... I always thought that if I were able to have a couple and stop, it would be like what we should think it would be... I would be able to win the debate with myself. Last night, there was not a debate. I was telling my fiance about it. There was nothing negative going on in my head at all about stopping. I wasn't even slightly bummed (let alone the world was ending and jesus hated me) that I wasn't having anymore. Something inside my brain has changed. I would never be able to explain this to anyone other than you all. That demon is just not there anymore.

So, yeah I wanted a beer...because they are soooooooooooo good!!!! HAHAHAHA. I love you u Neva Eva :H. PS, I am texting my sponsor every night to brag about my daily victories. He's so funny...been sober since like the 80s. He's like... this is bullshit man!!! HAHA.

[bleep]

Hit my switch

I agree, I don't see the point in going up if it is doing the job you wanted it to do.

And the level that you reach indifference at seems to remain roughly the same, no matter what you have done in the interim.

[JDizzle]

Hit my switch

I talked to my sponsor today. At the end he said u know I was a little skeptical, but after talking to u, I am going to call my brother and recommend this to him. I thought that was cool. On another note I opened the fridge to get dinner. There's a ton of beer in there. It just didn't really sound appealing tonight. This is so cool.

[MaryGoRound]

Hit my switch

Congrats!

:goodjob:

I use to have thoughts like "why not" get drunk...like all the time. Now my thoughts are "why."

I am really hesitant to recommend Baclofen to people in AA. If they are doing well without meds than that is great. I would hate to recommend to someone who is abstinent that there is a ticket to moderate drinking if they take a pill. What if they derail? Also, the SEs get to people and they need to quit. It would be terrible for someone who is sober to try Bac, not tolerate the medicine, and then stay drunk.

On the other hand, it is worth it for someone who cannot get or stay sober.

[JDizzle]

Hit my switch

Totally agree Mary. Sponsor and I even talked about that. If something is working for u, for the love of god, stick with it. He was real happy for me. He said he felt bad because he knew it wasn't workin for me and didn't know what else to tell me. He said he just tried to be there for me. I really like this guy. He even loaned me a rational recovery book. Find 2 AA people that would do that...