Drunk by Choice?

[JDizzle]

I was wondering if anyone had ever chosen to get drunk after hitting their switch. I think we are so programmed (a lot of us by AA) that drink is relapse and now drunk is relapse. I think I am changing my whole mindset on drinking in my life. I am now normal so none of the old rules apply. I can get drunk if I want. Normal people get drunk sometimes. I went out last night... needed a good night away from work. I fully wanted to get drunk. I told myself getting drunk was the leisure of normal people on occasion too. So I set out. I had a crown and coke... mmmmmm. Then I had 3 Grey Goose and cranberry juice.... super mmmmmmm. Then I thought... man if I have another I'm gonna feel all groggy. I don't really want to feel all tired. So I ordered some nachos and didn't drink anymore. I think what is happening is when I drink my mind stays rational. Has anyone ever gotten drunk when hitting their switch because you wanted to? It feels like that is almost as much of a no no in here as having one beer is in AA. I am not along for that ride. If I feel like getting drunk I will. I've had 2 situations where I did feel like it and kind of abandoned the desire halfway there.

Also, I still get impulses to drink. They are not as strong as they used to be, but the key is... they are satisfied real easily with 1 or 2 drinks.

[StuckinLA]

Drunk by Choice?

Yeah, it's a touchy subject. Some might say that it leads down a path that's no good. Others don't seem to care--they're "normal" people now and normal people get drunk every once in a while. Hell, with the crowds I hung around with, I thought getting drunk every day was normal--'cause there's always someone at the bar, right? And it's always noon somewhere...

From a practical point of view, it seems like if you choose--and at this point it is pretty much a choice--to drink, and occasionally get drunk, you won't be able to reduce your dose very much for maintenance. In other words, you'll need to stay pretty close to your switch dose.

There've been plenty of people who've hit their switch, been all happy and cured and ready to lead the treatment/AA revolution, and then gone on to fuck it up. One in particular who I kind of miss around here, actually. Then there are others who saw they were getting back to their old ways and are now back here and back on bac.

So it's just something to keep a pretty close eye on. But it's also a personal decision, right? I know I sure could've gone for some Grey Goose in my cranberry juice at the bar last night. That would've been delicious.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Drunk by Choice?

I was going to write, "Take it easy there, Grasshopper. " But thought you might take it the wrong way. So instead I'll write:

WHOOOOaaaaaaaaa there! No reason to be alarmed!! :H

The reason I don't much talk about drinking around here is because I figure that most of the people around here are trying really, really, really hard not to drink. And most of them aren't taking baclofen. And even the ones that are, are likely still drinking against their will. Plus, when I got here, drunk and completely miserable, I assumed the people who talked a lot about getting drunk, or drinking in general, were delusional. All I wanted was to get out from under the beast. It pissed me off when people took "the switch" for granted, and I was neva eva gonna drink again. That was a part of my journey...And none of it really matters anymore, because drinking doesn't really matter anymore. That's what choice means. (To me.) (Among many other things.)

JDizzle;1517290 wrote: I am not along for that ride.

It's your ride, Jdizz. We're just along for it.

:h
Kdizz

[JDizzle]

Drunk by Choice?

Great input. I have a feeling eventually I will settle down. For now it is nice. I got what I was looking for these past 15 years. I think I'm just a kid in a candy store now and will get to a point where yeah I could drink but who cares. I'm pretty good about staying on top of myself and my motives. If I catch myself making compromises I don't like, I'll take action. For now, enjoy ur freedom little jd

I don't mind staying at 120 mg. I have no side effects at all. Neva Eva, I like hearing ur viewpoints from abstinence. They r good for me to hear as well. I always thought people that talked about being able to drink normally were Jesus.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Drunk by Choice?

I should have been a bit more clear. I'm not abstinent. I'm sober by choice, because I don't like getting drunk, because I don't like drinking that much. Or feeling that way. And I really hate being hungover. But I drink. In the last week I've had at least one glass of wine and one beer. Maybe a beer on a different night? That might have been more than a week ago, though.

JDizzle;1517309 wrote: I always thought people that talked about being able to drink normally were Jesus.

Call me Hayzeus.

[JDizzle]

Drunk by Choice?

Ok awesome. Glad u clarified that. The more I know about people, it kind of helps me to relate to what they are saying. So ur no longer Neva the square hahaha.

[JDizzle]

Drunk by Choice?

So stuck the revolutionaries u speak of.... How did they mess it up? Did they stop taking the pills?

[StuckinLA]

Drunk by Choice?

Yeah, I think so. It's not just the booze (or coke, in his case) or whatever. It's the lifestyle. Same thing happened (happens) to me: you want to go out and party and hang around bars all day, and everybody's drinking, and you remember drinking and how much fun it was occasionally. Even without euphoric recall, there were some damned good times drinking. But on bac, depending on how you look at it, you just can't hang anymore. Can't drink like you used to, because it doesn't feel good, isn't fun, and you just deep down don't want to.

It got depressing. And people seem to stop taking the pills because it's depressing, which leads to more depression. (As a side note, please believe me on this point: I've come down and off pretty quickly twice now, and the depression is for real.) So then you drink more because you're depressed, and before you know it you're right back in that whole mess again. And the bar still isn't f*cking fun.

But if you're thinking you want to have a couple glasses of wine at get-togethers or a few beers on poker night like regular people do it, then yeah, it's fine. Just don't hang around with the people who shotgun beers at 6 AM for a football game (too often).

[Seethepony]

Drunk by Choice?

Yo JDizzle - When I took baclofen, I had a period of maybe 4 months (after the switch) in which I continued to drink in a very much modified and more controlled way. I wasn't drinking every night and I wasn't drinking myself into oblivion. But -- here's a handy side effect -- the hangovers, even after a modest amount of alcohol were so pronounced, and such outrageous skull fuckers that I became afraid of drinking. Drinking had always been punishing, physically, but baclofen took it to another level. Every beer came with a promise that I wouldn't merely have a hangover - I'd be visited by some psychopath in the morning who would beat the crap out of me, leaving me in a zombified stupor, pondering the injustice. "Five beers! How can I possibly feel this dead after 5 beers! It feels like I had 20!"

In the end, after a slow burning atomic hangover gobbled up an entire day, I thought, this is insane. You don't like beer any more. So stop it.

So I stopped, kind of effortlessly, thanks of the baclofen, and that was that. I stopped taking baclofen a few months later (I was cruising along on 75 mg / day so I didn't have any side effects from stopping suddenly.) I continued to take 25 mg some evenings (once or twice a month) if some silly thoughts of drinking crossed my mind, but perhaps by then it was just a placebo.

I haven't taken any baclofen for months and months, none this year, and I haven't had an alcoholic drink since July 2011. Some time ago, I grabbed the wrong beer once at a garden party and had a mouthful of the real stuff, instead of my alcohol-free. Yummy yummy yummy. That mouthful tasted like aviation fuel in comparison to AF beer, the alcohol fumes hit the top of your mouth before the liquid does. You only notice this after a long period of abstinence!) Anyway, after a second or two deliberating whether to finish the bottle I had accidentally started, I gave it away and went back to my boring AFs. I couldn't stand the prospect of Loathsome Tosser turning up on my doorstep the next day with his baseball bat and knuckledusters...

There's got to be a shorter way of saying all this crap...!

---

Short version: Baclofen hangovers are so horrible, you have to chose: continue with the baclofen or with the alcohol? Cos you can't have both. At least that's how it was for me -- In retrospect, those bruising hangovers, post-switch, were a blessing in disguise. (Hell of a disguise.)

Good luck with your baclofen adventure, good luck getting your drinking under control, and good luck quitting if that's what you decide to do.

[kronkcarr]

Drunk by Choice?

I have 1 or 2 drinks with friends every few weeks, but I haven't gotten drunk since starting bac. I've found that the anxiety, fear of speaking up, low self confidence and on and on that caused me to be uncomfortable and escape through AL are gone and I can't think of a reason to get blasted or numb.

[kronkcarr]

Drunk by Choice?

I have 1 or 2 drinks with friends every few weeks, but I haven't gotten drunk since starting bac. I've found that the anxiety, fear of speaking up, low self confidence and on and on that caused me to be uncomfortable and escape through AL are gone and I can't think of a reason to get blasted or numb. I don't think it was as much fun as I thought.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Drunk by Choice?

Oh, it's so nice to see STP around.

I'm still about as square as it gets around here, JDizz. :H

Here's proof:

This alcoholism thing we've been saddled with, it's chronic. And deadly. It messes up the whole body, from organ to capillary. Plus it's a pretty shitty life.

Before now there wasn't really any hope of anything except DONT DRINK EVER ever ever again. That didn't work for me, and it wasn't for lack of trying.

And now...well, who knows? We have pretty solid evidence (finally) that bac works. (We already knew that, but now there's science-y stuff and big names with lots of degrees to back it up.) What else do we know about it? Not much.

I'm a questioning kind of woman. For sure likely to look even a gift horse in the mouth. If I'm going to live dangerously, hopefully it'll be a choice. I don't ever want to take for granted that I got this...miracle. I've seen more people than I care to remember end up back around square one. For any number of reasons and not just because they stopped taking the damn pills.

It doesn't (in my limited experience) wear off. But I'm pretty sure that if nothing changes...nothing changes. Which is not to say that if you want to get drunk, you shouldn't get drunk. That's not the same as getting drunk all the time.

Plus, this whole thing? It takes time to settle in! Can I/Can't I? Will I/Won't I? Do I even want to? What else am I going to do tonight? *sigh*

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Drunk by Choice?

Kronk, I just made out the postcard in your avatar. :H Love it.

[JDizzle]

Drunk by Choice?

Man I am having quite the opposite effect with hangovers. I haven't really gotten drunk....just buzzed, but I feel so refreshed in the morning. I wake up early and feel motivated. I was definitely one that would burn 2 days on the couch in hangover depression. I have enjoyed being so alive in the mornings. Maybe that will change...who knows. For now, I'm just riding this miracle.

[bleep]

Drunk by Choice?

I find with baclofen that most of the time what happens is what you experienced. The desire just fades half way through. And it's never really a desire, it's more of an thought that tonight, for whatever reason, I think I should get pissed. Odd.

Occasionally, that point doesn't arrive, or for one reason or another I drink through it, and I get pissed. I'm normally relatively hangover free, and it's not often, so it doesn't bother me too much. I seem to drink much less on these nights than before, and go to bed before I can do anything foolish.

My indifference has never been the one I read about here, where someone pours a drink and takes 2 hours to drink it. I drink my drink normally, and then I don't want another.

Certainly for me drinking after baclofen took a bit of practice. The biggest thing about the whole thing though is contained in the thread title. It's a choice now.