It took time, some false starts (have or haven't hit I switch), and persistence. I thought I reached my switch at around 110 only to find that was not the case. I then thought I hit it at 160 only to find myself drinking again. Finally, I am certain I hit it at 230. I did go up to 240 for three days but, because I was concerned about the SEs, I came back down to 230.
Along the way I lost my job, had serious conflicts in my marriage, had two minor vender benders due to a lack of focus, and many moments of doubt. What was I really doing? This is serious medicine. I am still drinking, and I am having awful SEs. What was I really doing?
The only problem was I was out of options. I could not get away from the alcoholic obsessions. I was attending AA (on and off) but I still could not stop drinking. I heard all of the success stories with baclofen on these boards and I was determined to be one of them.
The SEs changed throughout the journey up. The usual sleepiness mixed with insomnia (I find this SE to infuriating...how can I be so sleepy during the day but wide awake at night?). I had nausea in the beginning and an increasing lack of motivation as I moved up. I had many other of the usual SEs.
I did continue exercise and I am happy about the results. I lost the runners "high" but I am physically strong. I had muscle gain and some of the annoying weight gain. I am sure I can get the weight gain fixed when I put down the chocolate!
I maintained the switch dose for about 10 days and then started going down. My biggest issue at the high levels was the depression caused by a lack of dopamine. Yes, the window for alcoholic cravings closed but I had feelings a dread in the mornings and a general lack of zest for life throughout the day.
I wanted to get to a level where I could be free of alcohol while also gaining a state of happiness. I don't have the exact titration down from the switch and I may have stayed in the 230-240 level for a bit longer but I do have the following records;
May 10-16 (7 days): 220 mgs
May 17-May 21 (5 days): 210 mgs
May 22-May 28 (7 days): 200 mgs
May 29-June 2 (5 days): 180 mgs
June 3-June 7 (5 days - including 1 day at 170 mg): 160 mgs
June 8, June 9: 150 mgs
I fell off on June 10. Clearly the drop from 160 to 150 was too much. I thought I would experience a tingle and would then know I should go back up. At 160 I was FINE and the depression was lifting.
My thought was to continue as low as I could to balance the depression and the cravings but the drop to 150 threw me off the wagon. I went back up to 180 but the last three days have been horrible. The thirst is back...just like that!
I am so hopeful that I can back to my indifference back at 180 instead of going back up to 230.
I am recording this account so others can learn about going down. It is scary when the blanket is removed. In other posts, I have been alluding to my thoughts that baclofen is a treatment rather than a cure. This thought is based on my recent experience. Underneath it all, I am still an alcoholic.
I think I could come off baclofen at some point but only if I am abstinent. In the meantime, I accept I need to stay on a higher level of baclofen and, with that understandng, I need to figure out how I can counteract the depression. Next week I have an appointment with a doctor for anti-depressant medication.
Granted it is easy to see I went down too fast. I hope in the next day or two I can report I am back on track. I now understand and fully appreciate having the burden of alcoholic craving lifted and I am hopeful I can get it back soon.
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