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    Post Switch: Mary's Experience

    I have been on baclofen since November 7th 2012. Through trial and error and help from the experience of others on this board I mark my "switch" date on April 23, 2013 at 230mg/day.

    It took time, some false starts (have or haven't hit I switch), and persistence. I thought I reached my switch at around 110 only to find that was not the case. I then thought I hit it at 160 only to find myself drinking again. Finally, I am certain I hit it at 230. I did go up to 240 for three days but, because I was concerned about the SEs, I came back down to 230.

    Along the way I lost my job, had serious conflicts in my marriage, had two minor vender benders due to a lack of focus, and many moments of doubt. What was I really doing? This is serious medicine. I am still drinking, and I am having awful SEs. What was I really doing?

    The only problem was I was out of options. I could not get away from the alcoholic obsessions. I was attending AA (on and off) but I still could not stop drinking. I heard all of the success stories with baclofen on these boards and I was determined to be one of them.

    The SEs changed throughout the journey up. The usual sleepiness mixed with insomnia (I find this SE to infuriating...how can I be so sleepy during the day but wide awake at night?). I had nausea in the beginning and an increasing lack of motivation as I moved up. I had many other of the usual SEs.

    I did continue exercise and I am happy about the results. I lost the runners "high" but I am physically strong. I had muscle gain and some of the annoying weight gain. I am sure I can get the weight gain fixed when I put down the chocolate!

    I maintained the switch dose for about 10 days and then started going down. My biggest issue at the high levels was the depression caused by a lack of dopamine. Yes, the window for alcoholic cravings closed but I had feelings a dread in the mornings and a general lack of zest for life throughout the day.

    I wanted to get to a level where I could be free of alcohol while also gaining a state of happiness. I don't have the exact titration down from the switch and I may have stayed in the 230-240 level for a bit longer but I do have the following records;

    May 10-16 (7 days): 220 mgs
    May 17-May 21 (5 days): 210 mgs
    May 22-May 28 (7 days): 200 mgs
    May 29-June 2 (5 days): 180 mgs
    June 3-June 7 (5 days - including 1 day at 170 mg): 160 mgs
    June 8, June 9: 150 mgs

    I fell off on June 10. Clearly the drop from 160 to 150 was too much. I thought I would experience a tingle and would then know I should go back up. At 160 I was FINE and the depression was lifting.

    My thought was to continue as low as I could to balance the depression and the cravings but the drop to 150 threw me off the wagon. I went back up to 180 but the last three days have been horrible. The thirst is back...just like that!

    I am so hopeful that I can back to my indifference back at 180 instead of going back up to 230.

    I am recording this account so others can learn about going down. It is scary when the blanket is removed. In other posts, I have been alluding to my thoughts that baclofen is a treatment rather than a cure. This thought is based on my recent experience. Underneath it all, I am still an alcoholic.

    I think I could come off baclofen at some point but only if I am abstinent. In the meantime, I accept I need to stay on a higher level of baclofen and, with that understandng, I need to figure out how I can counteract the depression. Next week I have an appointment with a doctor for anti-depressant medication.

    Granted it is easy to see I went down too fast. I hope in the next day or two I can report I am back on track. I now understand and fully appreciate having the burden of alcoholic craving lifted and I am hopeful I can get it back soon.

    #2
    Post Switch: Mary's Experience

    Mary, I hope you can get back to where you were at a lower dose. I totally understand about wanting to take as little as possible. I think we all put too much stock into words in here. A treatment rather than a cure.... Yeah I mean a cure would really be if you took a pill, never took another pill, and it was completely gone. I don't think they make those anymore as there is no money in it. If you quit taking your medication, you are still an alcoholic. So maybe we can take a page out of AA and say we are men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. So we are recovered, not cured. I for one am cured because my mom told me I was.
    When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.

    Comment


      #3
      Post Switch: Mary's Experience

      Thanks so very much for posting this, Mary. It is an invaluable contribution to baclofen twists around the world. And, having seen and been a part of some pretty incredible stories, I can assure you that the application of information and common sense has ALWAYS won. And I've seen some stuff, yes I have!

      From "over here,"' your understanding of what to do, and the experience and common sense you are applying, looks pretty solid. Please keep on keeping us posted. Great . . .really - great job.
      "Wherever you are is the entry point." --Kabir

      Comment


        #4
        Post Switch: Mary's Experience

        Hi Mary

        Thanks for your post and sorry to hear things haven't been good. Hopefully by now you've gone up a little and are bac on track.
        I'm staying at 140mg and doing OK for now.

        Cheers
        Sticky :l

        Comment


          #5
          Post Switch: Mary's Experience

          Hi Mary,

          I, too, appreciate your post. I think I especially appreciate it because I can relate to much of what you've written. Do you think you've tapered down too quickly? It's great you kept a log (I've never done that), but it doesn't seem too crazy quick. They say the recommendation is 10mg a week, and you did something close. You did 10mg every 5 days (OK, 20mg on some weeks). I'm not sure, Mary. It doesn't seem that you went so fast that you'd risk drinking again.

          But clearly you have and are. And I guess we don't know much about these things except for the ones who post and talk about it here. I've had very similar experiences, a number of times now. I've felt switched a number of times too, only to discover I wasn't.

          All I can tell you is this: Don't go off baclofen completely, if you've had a positive response. I know you don't appear to have intentions of tapering off. I think your brain can and will become adjusted to higher doses over time. Get to somewhere you can live with and stay there until things become balanced enough that you can try to go up again. Listen to your body and go up as it will let you. Just like you've insinuated you'll do. I think you know how to listen to your body, and I don't need to tell you that.

          I'm currently on 260mg. I'm doing just fine. This is a dose I would have never tolerated in the past. I've been on 240 (over a year ago). I felt switched, but was suffering from such miserable SEs, I had to come down. I've remained on HDB in various doses. I appear to be tolerating it better than ever. There could be other factors at play here too, since I'm almost exclusively taking liquid bac, but I can't be sure.

          I know all this probably isn't important if you're suffering from horrible depression. I understand that very well too. I'm glad you're going to the doc, and I hope you can get this straightened out soon. :l

          Thanks so much for telling us what's going on. It helps some of us, I'm sure. It certainly helps me.
          This Princess Saved Herself

          Comment


            #6
            Post Switch: Mary's Experience

            :goodjob:
            :nutso: I take pride in my humility :nutso:
            :what?:
            sigpic
            Graph of My Drinking From July '09 to January '10

            Consolidated Baclofen Information Thread




            Baclofen for Alcoholism and Other Addictions
            A Forum
            Trolls need not apply

            Comment


              #7
              Post Switch: Mary's Experience

              Wow Mary!

              Wow Mary -Thanks for such valuable and readable information. I really believe my switch is around the 230 mark as well. However, I am able to go up or down by 20 mg on any given day; somnolence being the only varying SE. My thoughts go out to you regarding the depression. I've had a few days of hell recently in the depression pit -but have been fortunate that it has lifted. Thanks for your prior posts as well.
              Hope you find your Peace soon Mary.

              Comment


                #8
                Post Switch: Mary's Experience

                Update. I am at a good point with cravings at 180, but to be clear, an INTENSE period came up today. It did pass.

                I believe if I stay at 180ish. I should be OK but the habit does die hard.

                Since this is my thread I am going to express some thoughts...

                1. What if this stops working? (it did for me recently so this is top of mind)

                2. What are the long term health consequences? F*** Michael Douglas (or someone!) is blaming his cancer on his sex addiction. This seems so ridiculous but really who knows what causes what...

                3. Why can't I just get pass this? I mean, really, this alcohol thing is not doing much for me lately. What the F*** is my problem?

                To be very clear, I believe I will get pass my set back, but set backs suck...

                Comment


                  #9
                  Post Switch: Mary's Experience

                  Also, thank you Redhead. You provided a very thoughtful response and I appreciate that.

                  Actually, thanks to all. I sometimes swear I will never post again but I come back to the thought that posting can help others (including myself!)

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Post Switch: Mary's Experience

                    MaryGoRound;1520114 wrote: Update. I am at a good point with cravings at 180, but to be clear, an INTENSE period came up today. It did pass.

                    I believe if I stay at 180ish. I should be OK but the habit does die hard.

                    Since this is my thread I am going to express some thoughts...

                    1. What if this stops working? (it did for me recently so this is top of mind)

                    2. What are the long term health consequences? F*** Michael Douglas (or someone!) is blaming his cancer on his sex addiction. This seems so ridiculous but really who knows what causes what...

                    3. Why can't I just get pass this? I mean, really, this alcohol thing is not doing much for me lately. What the F*** is my problem?

                    To be very clear, I believe I will get pass my set back, but set backs suck...
                    Hi Mary -it is good to see your post. That depression stuff can really play hell with us. I found myself blaming baclofen when, in fact, I think I just was not doing some of things I needed to be doing to minimize my depression. I am certainly not implying that this the case for you. Although I am still not practicing some important areas right now (Not exercising, poor eating habits, not going to bed when I am tired, working as if there will be tomorrow, etc.), I still find the depression lessens or is gone after about two days. It just sucks to go from everything is sunshine to "just damn, why don't I want to do anything". I am finding the longer I am alcohol free and more I stay at my BAC dosage (about 220mg), the less dramatic the swings are becoming.

                    I still find myself worrying about "if it stops working". I try to stop myself in the middle of this thought and remind my self that the bac is working today and I will deal with the future when it gets here.

                    And Mary, as so many people keep reminding me when I say "why can't I just get past this": (1) I am an alcoholic (and I like immediate gratification) and (2) I ask myself "just how long did it take for to get into the alcohol forest?". Its not going to an overnight matter. -GOOD- if it were easy, I would probable drink my ass off every night"-lol.

                    Keep on Keeping On Mary -and Peace to Ya.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Post Switch: Mary's Experience

                      I am still with the Bac and I am drinking.

                      I am at 180-190.

                      I wanted this dose to work but it is not doing the job. Once I start I do not stop without a struggle. There is no "slowing down" because I have to drink what I buy. If it is not enough I go out and buy more.

                      I tend to have two terrible times...deep summer and deep winter. I know this but it does not seem to help. My husband is going through the roof. I am not sure how much longer he will stay with me if I keep drinking.

                      I know the answer is to stop being selfish. I know I need to go up because it will work.

                      I just wish I could control the switch dose! The higher doses cause insomnia and depression but at least I know it will stop the drinking. I am going to go up to over 200 (for some reason I hate doing this) and I will let you all know how I am doing.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Post Switch: Mary's Experience

                        Wow Mary -I hate to hear about your struggle. Alcohol reeks havoc on so many -especially ourselves.

                        I am still at 220mg and AF -with 0- desire. However, I still experience an early morning depression that sucks. It usually leaves within an hour or two after waking and taking my meds. My life is so much better than it was 95+ days ago, yet this disconnected from the world depression in the early am is hell. But I will have to say this; the hell in the am is much less than it was when I was drinking.

                        Have you jumped in on Juan's 30 day challenge? Just a thought. I truly am wishing you well in your journey.

                        Peace to Ya.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Post Switch: Mary's Experience

                          Have a read, or re-read, of Ne's thread, Mary. Pretty please? Her path was long and hard. It might help to reinforce what you already know . . . it takes what it takes.

                          Is there anything you like to do thaT doesn't involve alcohol that you could do just a little bit more of, for say, 2 days.
                          "Wherever you are is the entry point." --Kabir

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Post Switch: Mary's Experience

                            I feel much better today. I have actually been under-dosing at 170-175. One day this dose might be fine but not in the middle of a drinking episode.

                            As I mentioned before, I got depressed on HDB. A few weeks ago I went on an Anti-depressant and it has done wonders! Except for the depression that come from feeling out of control with the drinking these past days, I am feeling Soooo much better. I have been on ADs for short periods over the years with varying success. Some did nothing while others had a mild effect. This one is clearly good for me. It is a SNRI which means it effects two neurotransmitters Given this boost I should be less worried about going up....and that is where I am at now. I am going to go up to 200 and get this sorted out. I get stuck on a dose "I think should work" - for whatever reason - and then I am late on make adjustments that will actually help

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Post Switch: Mary's Experience

                              So happy to report

                              It has been such a long while since I have posted and of course much has changed. I have a great full time job, There must be guardian angles watching over me. Everything seems to be going well

                              The Bac holds. I a,m not sober but I am not bad. I almost have to force myself to drink. I have lost the hunger, the "need" to. Drink. Most days I think "why" would I need that. It is a wonderful change.

                              I am happy to face a world where I am not compelled to work against myself. I contribute that to the Baclofen. If I did not have Bac I would be struggling,
                              .as ir is, I can take or leave. It but I rather leave it!

                              The Baclofen does work.

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