Avascular Necrosis

[caro]

Dear All,

Please google avascular necrosis if you have not heard of it. Basically it means that the bones are not getting enough blood. If not treated in the early stages a hip replacement may be needed. An early sign may be pain in a joint especially the hip.

It is common in alcoholics.

I had never heard of it and like a fool I thought a bit of pain in my hip was arthritis.

Well it wasn't arthritis and now I am in big trouble as I need a hip replacement at the age of 51. You can imagine how devastated I am and pissed off with myself for not acting sooner.

I also now have to try and explain why I am on baclofen. My reputation in the hospital will be destroyed.

I am writing this to just say try not to drink in excess ever again, as binge drinking brings it on sooner.

I won't be checking in much as I have to get myself together for the ordeal to come.

Good luck everybody and don't be as stupid as me ignoring signs.

Caro

[Xadrian]

Avascular Necrosis

We all were stupid to drink in excess.
Could be that the reason we began drinking is not our fault, but we still were stupid drinking.

But....... We wanted it to stop and we were smart enough to do something about it. Even when doctors told us not to do so. And we succeeded. That makes us way less stupid.

I told several people (customers, collegues, clients) that I had an alcohol problem, but I did something about it and I'm cured.
None of them reacted disgusted. Most of them didn't know that I had a past alcohol problem, but all of them were glad for me that I'm cured and I even got a lot of respect for doing something about it.

Like my collegues did't know that I once had an alcohol problem, your collegues don't know either.
But do you realize you might also have several collegues that could have an alcohol problem too?
A lot of people have alcohol problems, but you are the one that did something to stop yours.
Keep that in mind. I wouldn't be too afraid for your so-called reputation.

Think of yourself. I'm sure a lot of people would even respect you for curing yourself.

If, on the other hand, you like to keep it quiet, is there someone who will treat you with your operation who you really trust? You could explain that person and ask him/her to keep it secret.
Or you could mention on the intake form that you take the bac for restless leg syndrome or so.

Wish you a lot of strength with the hip-replacement. I was told that it's painfull, but it cures fast.

[playland]

Avascular Necrosis

Dear Caro,
Please don't beat yourself up so much. My daughter had a hip replacement last year at the age of 36 yrs old due to Avascular Necrosis. She was not a drinker and there is no definite diagnosis for what causes the condition. There are a few possibilities but they are just that, possibilities, not anything that can be pointed to directly. She had the "Anterior Approach" which spares cutting the muscles and has a much quicker recovery time and six months down the road she is doing fantastic.

You might want to research this type of hip surgery and look for a surgeon who does it as it is just coming back and not all surgeons have been trained or have the set up to do it. In the long run it is much better for younger people and has the same good outcome as the older standard type.

It seems that you are quite concerned about the fact you are taking Baclofen and I understand that. Would there be a possibility that you could taper down off the Baclofen before the surgery and then not have to worry about it at all.

Good luck and if you have questions about the surgery feel free to PM me and perhaps I can help you sort it out.

Regards from Playland

[caro]

Avascular Necrosis

Dear Xadrian and Playland,

Thank you for your replies.

I have to confess that my post was not true, although I thought what I was writing was true at the time. I am not having a hip operation.

Let me explain:

I for some stupid reason decided to taper down my baclofen by 30mg in one day. Despite me knowing very well this is insane. I have not slept for days since doing this and had convinced myself that I needed this operation and not only that it would be going ahead and I needed to tell my manager as I would never be able to go to work again as I would now be disabled!

I persuaded my husband to take me to A&E last night as 'my femur was going to explode'. I actually said this to the Dr, I am really lucky I was not sectioned.

So you get the picture, I must have been having some type of psychotic episode.

I am still feeling a bit wobbly but I really wanted to apologise.

The worst part of that post is 'my reputation at the hospital will be destroyed' How grandiose especially as this hospital does not exist anyway.

So my dose is increased again and I feel much better. Lesson learnt.

xx

[ifulovelife2]

Avascular Necrosis

That's really interesting, Caro. You dropped 30mg? Can you tell me what dosage you dropped from?

I'm really pleased everything is going to be OK now. It sounds like it was a hellishly scary episode.

@Xadrian: I just want to say I absolutely loved your reply. Well done, spot on!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Avascular Necrosis

Hey, Caro. I'm really glad everything is okay, too. In terms of your mental health, especially! (Every member of my family--in a certain generation--has had at least one hip replaced. It's a fairly easy one, if you're going to work on becoming bionic. I'm hoping that the procedure for knees will advance to the same level before I need one of those! And lungs. Especially those. )

Anyway, I want you to know that you're not alone. There were a couple of occasions that I can recall very clearly even now that what I thought was real, wasn't real. I was titrating up, and it was really around the sleep/wake thing that it happened. I would wake up after one of those crazy bac dreams and my mind would spin some sort of relatively plausible story out of thin air, and I walked around thinking that what happened was real and not a figment of my imagination. In retrospect, it is scary as hell to think about what we have to go through! But in the moment, while scary, it was just par for the course...Sad but true. It's also happened to a couple of friends.

I hope it helps that it is isolated. It goes away, and I'm (relatively) perfectly normal. So are the friends who experienced similar things. :l

[caro]

Avascular Necrosis

Hi Ifulovelife/Ne

Thanks for the replies. I was on 120mg and went down to 90mg.

I felt better yesterday but still not right.

Background to why I started Baclofen:

History of alcoholic drinking since early teens. My mum was a single mother with a very bad relationship to alcohol. I grew up to be extremely anxious, and that has never really stopped. Many decades later I met my husband and things got much better for me. I still drank way too much but it had improved. Last year my husband lost his job (unfortunately his own fault) and eventually got a another one with a dramatic decrease in money. He will not be able to get a job in his previous profession again.

This job loss and the many months of drama around it started me off on a massive drinking binge. Out of desperation I searched the internet and came across MyWayOut.

Things have been going well until recently. Perhaps it is trying to come off bac, my goal is now to be alcohol free, but I think I may also be depressed, I have done some of those online tests and I keep coming out as having a major depression. I do keep having dark thoughts about all sorts of things.

I don't really know what to do. Well that is a fib because I have read all the web pages that tell me what to do but I don't seem to have the will to implement them.

If I saw a Dr I would have this on my medical record and affect my job.

Please help

[Seethepony]

Avascular Necrosis

"The worst part of that post is 'my reputation at the hospital will be destroyed' How grandiose especially as this hospital does not exist anyway."

"If I saw a Dr I would have this on my medical record and affect my job."

You're still worrying too much about what other people think. Alcoholics are usually in denial about many things for many years. This is perhaps the only area where I agree with the Alcoholics anonymous philosophy - if you can't admit to yourself you have a problem then you're screwed.
Well you've got past that, but you have an idiotic hangup about what other people will think if they knew.

Guess what? No one cares that much. You can see that negatively or positively. A trivial & daft example: I recently bought some trousers cos I liked the colour. Orange. Then it occurred to me that if I wore them, people might assume I was homosexual. (I said it was daft!) So for a few days I wondered whether I was brave enough to confront the world in a pair of orange trousers. When I finally summoned up the courage to wear the bloody things in public what happened? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. The world accepted me in my orange trousers.

Same thing when I realised I was an alcoholic. What would other people think? The fact is, all my friends knew I was a heavy drinker. Some were shocked to hear the full extent of it - but that shock was never disgust, only sympathy. When I discovered that I could control my drinking with baclofen, I was so happy that I told everyone about it, even people I barely knew. They found out I was an alcoholic? So what. They really did not care.

Once you realise that no one cares that much about what you do, or your faults, it's very liberating. If someone is shocked, fuck 'em. This is your life and if your life needs sorting out, do it and don't give a damn about the rest. Friends will remain friends, you will still have your job and I guarantee that some of your depression will lift when you realise there is nothing to fear.

[caro]

Avascular Necrosis

Dear Seethepony,

Thanks for your post. What you said is very true. I was trying to lighten my post by misplaced humour. Truth is I am scared shitless about the future.

The whole hip thing was not totally out of left field as I do have pain in my hip. I saw a Dr yesterday and went for an X-ray today. The Dr thinks it is osteoarthritis but I(because I always fear the worst) still suspect the avascular necrosis. I am well aware my posts are making me sound a bit unhinged. That is how I feel. I am going back to the Dr on Friday to see if I can get some help for my depression.

I have spent my whole life worrying about crap and feel I have wasted my life and that I don't have long left. I am sorry to be so miserable and I just wish I had known about baclofen before I have done so much damage to my body.

Caro

[Xadrian]

Avascular Necrosis

caro;1521083 wrote: I have spent my whole life worrying about crap and feel I have wasted my life and that I don't have long left. I am sorry to be so miserable and I just wish I had known about baclofen before I have done so much damage to my body.

By discovering baclofen, you likely extended your life with a decade or so.

If we had known everything, we probably would be a millionnaire. Everybody f*cks up once in a while. It's no big deal. It's important what you are going to do about it.

Last week I read somewhere something like this:

Don't think about yesterday. It's gone.
Don't worry about tomorrow. It doesn't exist.
Care about today and make the best of it.

So crawl out of that pit you fell in and do some stuff that makes you happy. Call some friends and watch a movie or go to a carnival, eat chocolate, ice-cream, buy some beautiful flowers, take a trip or a vacation or whatever it is that you like. Think which things used to make you happy and see if they still do.
Think positive.

I had a severe depression once. But you know, once you are on the bottom, the only way you can go is up. But you have to leave your house and your comfort zone.
It's not easy, I know. But you have to come out of the dark.

[caro]

Avascular Necrosis

Dear Xadian,

Thanks for your lovely post.

Good advice which I will try (no will) implement.

Caro