Abstinence Challenge

[Juan BH]

Abstinence Challenge

Checking in on Day 4

Hey AC group-

Day 4 is going just fine for me, no problems. I hope Bleep is right about getting this AF time in and that it knocks indifference home for all of us. I'm not even sure that's why you all are here, but I'm happy to be doing it with you just the same. By the way, pleased to meet you Guitarista! Stuck- it's alway nice to hear from you, even if you are being a dick. Congrats on the 45 days!

Speaking of meeting and getting to know you, I have been looking at some of your posts to try to get a better idea of what you all are about this evening. I am glad I did.

Emily- you have been around MWO for a long time! I didn't know that. I can kind of retrace your path here since 2007 and it seems like you have done a lot of investigation into all of this alcohol stuff from many different angles. I am glad you finally tried baclofen and I have a feeling that this is going to be your way out, too!

Caro- Jeeze I feel like a total dork for telling you about Laurie65. You probably know her story waaaay better than I do. I see you two used to post on each other's threads (probably when I was trying to figure out how to create an avatar). :new:
When she titrated off of bac, I swapped her the rest of my Naltrexone for some of her BAC supply because she was going to give TSM a go. I gave her a rundown on my experience with it, why it didn't work out for me and what I learned from my experience that might help her be more successful that I was. I honestly think TSM may be a better solution to the alcohol problem, but I am a daily drinker and I drink for anxiety relief specifically, so baclofen suits me MUCH better. How are YOU doing by the way?

JDizzle- You ARE funny dude. I like the way you wirte, too. You just say what you think, no apologies. I can tell that you have a lot of program in you and it sounds like you kept the good stuff and left all of the other bs behind. I'm sorry the SE's are kicking your ass right now. You are gonna get through them though and get to a new place where the cravings can't get you.

Mary- I read your story. The slice you shared with us in your thread, anyway. I can relate to so much of what you shared there because I have a similar trajectory. Sometimes I think I am totally nuts for trying to do this.

Gotta cut it short... the wife is home from the big court-decision fiesta. I am proud to be an American today!

[JDizzle]

Abstinence Challenge

Oh Christ Im completely not excited about going to bed. Ughhh FINE. Dude it's like I know Im not going to suffocate to death but it is so damn scary to wake up not breathing and having to struggle to regulate it.

You know actually when I get it all out on paper, it sounds kinda fun. I'm off to bed WOOOHOOO.

[JDizzle]

Abstinence Challenge

:bananacomputer:

It's peanut butter jelly time peanut butter jelly time.

[Juan BH]

Abstinence Challenge

...where ya at? where ya at?

It is a nasty SE man, but short lived.

I'm gonna have to find a you tube of Family Guy now to explain this to the ladies. Damn it Dizzle!

[man on mars]

Abstinence Challenge

Do you sleep on your back? I never had sleep apnea before I started taking baclofen, but now I absolutely cannot sleep on my back or it will always happen. If I make sure to always sleep on my side, it never seems to be a problem.

[JDizzle]

Abstinence Challenge

I sleep on my side. I resituate to my back to try and make it better. Never works. I have to sit up and try to sleep a little upright.

YouTube

Peanut butter jelly time.

[MaryGoRound]

Abstinence Challenge

Two AF days. This would be a big deal pre-Bac but a normal situation after being on Bac for a long time.

JD-

I am so sorry about the breathing SE. I have not had it, I know others have and it does pass. I have never heard of it being dangerous. I think you really want to get pass this "thing" and you will. The SEs suck when you go up! It gets better and always remember the goal.

Juan-

I am glad you started this thread. Although this is a meds group, we still struggle with the same issues as our entire community. I sometimes feel like I am "cheating" by using meds. Don't get me wrong, I have no regrets.

Emily-

We will look back and realize alcohol is a non-issue ...regardless of the situation.

Everyone-

I have never participated in an online forum before MWO. It is an interesting experience. I am still guarded because...well...you never know. It has been very good for me. At night, I sometimes dream about different identities and I actually think I am talking to you! :H

EDIT: When I say "talking" I mean face to face like we are all hanging out together.

[JDizzle]

Abstinence Challenge

Mary u don't have to be guarded with me. I'm way too hot to ever meet anyone online. I would be afraid I would get taken advantage of.

[MaryGoRound]

Abstinence Challenge

JDizzle;1524788 wrote: Mary u don't have to be guarded with me. I'm way too hot to ever meet anyone online. I would be afraid I would get taken advantage of.

:H:H

Good return.

[StuckinLA]

Abstinence Challenge

I'm still hoping to be taken advantage of by someone online!

Try keeping a snack and some water by the bed. When I woke up with the not-breathing-panic nonsense, I don't know why but eating a few handfuls of peanuts or crackers or something, and then drinking some water, and usually having a smoke, really helped. And I'd be out then for the rest of the night. It was like clockwork: wake up within the first hour of falling asleep, then snack, and I'd be down for the night after that.

It's still sometimes like that, so I'm not entirely sure if it's bac or if it's being sober, honestly. From what I can gather, alkies aren't going to get much good, solid sleep for the first couple of months of sobriety.

Of course, sleep wasn't working so well when I couldn't get drunk enough to pass out, either:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0027OF4FeFM[/video]]American Dad: Roger wants to get drunk - YouTube

[JDizzle]

Abstinence Challenge

Love Rogers flying slow mo bitch slap. That was a great episode. The best American dad episode hands down is the one where Stan gets addicted to crack. Totally recommend the whole episode if u have not seen it.

I need some help.... Right after I smoke crack one more time!!!!

I wake up to eat and smoke too. But I do it 3 times a night. I wish one would put me down. I also tend to stay up at least an hour each time. I don't know how I do it because I can hardly walk or keep my eyes open....I just can't sleep. I'm am a little excited about tomorrow morning. My SE were way weaker today and last night. The last time I experienced that, I woke up feeling like a million bucks with no SEs the next day. I also got super motivated to handle my life. It was funny today... I've been real groggy. A neighbor and his wife walked by and she gave me some comment that bothered me so I said some smart ass shit then kinda tapered off my sentence into a mumble. I just didn't have the energy to talk anymore hahaha. Probably scared them which is good because they're goody two shoes anyways. Look man I just wanna water my grass and think about comets...leave me alone.

[Juan BH]

Abstinence Challenge

I think I am indifferent to alcohol and it feels really good. I'll explain more on my thread tomorrow. THIS IS AWESOME! Bleep you were absolutely right about this.

[bleep]

Abstinence Challenge

Fantastic to hear Juan! I am looking forward to your update.

JD, the sleep thing is a real bitch. It passes though. Nothing I did really helped, I just tried to enjoy all the extra time I had. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Abstinence Challenge

Can't wait to read the update, Juan! Yay!

I think the crack episode is the only American Dad show I've ever watched all the way through and it was really funny.

JDizzle;1524974 wrote: Look man I just wanna water my grass and think about comets...leave me alone.
Why don't people get that??? :H

bleep;1524987 wrote: Nothing I did really helped, I just tried to enjoy all the extra time I had. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.

Yep. Me too.

Take the following as you will, but remember it comes from a confirmed too-many-packs-a-day smoker.
Smoking probably makes the breathing thing worse. (much worse.) It has to do with the CO2 and O2 balance and blahdy-blah. (I know what you're thinking, "Whatever, Ne.") But if you can breath deeply (meditatively?) and restore that balance before you smoke, maybe the panic-y part of it won't be quite so bad?

Rock on peeps.

[emily]

Abstinence Challenge

just a quick update.

First of all, well done Juan, woo hoo!!

It's Friday night and no wine or beer.

I've been on 110 mg for 2 days and extremely sleepy, anyone else had, it feels like, almost electrical pulses through their body? just wondering if this is the nervous system reacting to the bac, it's not horrible but seems to get worse the more tired I get.

It's 9.20 pm in the UK and I don't think I'll see it past 10 pm tonight, so tired! Drink/craving wise, it really is the conditioning that I've been dealing with.

It doesn't matter a jot that I've not had a drink tonight, I don't feel I'm being 'good' when massive motivation (I have in the past had 7, 14 or 30 day stints, part of some sort of clean eating group or past 30 days efforts to end spiraling drinking) and willpower have been the energies behind not drinking.

As I sit here and think of AL I do get a flash of fear, you know that feeling when your heart dips into your stomach but I think It's like I don't want to 'look' just in case I saw there was still something left and bac wasn't working. It's my last hope!

Anyway, all good without being 'good' this side of the Atlantic, hope everyone else is fab too.