Abstinence Challenge

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Neo- yeah man, it's amazing how different it can be, living and working without the crippling anxiety that comes with hangovers and constant drinking. It's day and night.

As I mentioned in my other thread, Effexor is the AD that works well for me and takes care of most of my social anxiety. Bac also helps it quite noticeably. However, it can still get bad after a drunk/hangover. So getting sober time really helps negate it at all... I feel a lot more confident and relaxed these days... dare I say... almost normal

Good on you for the 10 days, and for rocking a nice dinner and not indulging in "a little" champagne... for drunks like us, a little becomes a lot quickly!

[Fred_The_Cat]

Abstinence Challenge

Day 3 for me. I got a craving a couple hours ago and blew it away with an extra liquid bac dose. It's completely gone now. I'll second you guys on being much more productive at work. The past couple of days I have really touched on putting in 100% now that I'm not anxious or sleep deprived.

I haven't actually been hung over for about a month now- hangovers are just that incapacitating. But when you take into account that even three drinks will have me waking up at 2:00 am itching to go to work early to be completely worthless by noon, even moderate consumption is too much.

These three days sober have done a lot to even me out, so I can't wait to see what 30 does.

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Right on Neo and Fred... keep up the sober days, and keep posting here.

Fred, good to hear about the productivity, etc. Yeah, 30 days does a LOT to even a person out and get their shit together. And I hear ya on the hangovers- when I was drinking they got so bad they'd last 2 or 3 days with terrible depression and anxiety. I could hardly work, function, etc. Alcoholism truly is a progressively shittier and shittier disease.

Day 41 AF.

[neophyte]

Abstinence Challenge

Day 11 AF

just over 1/3 of the way there woo! I am finding some cravings come creeping up, the initial euphoria from having stopped drinking is wearing off and my sleep over the past couple of days, i've woken up 3 times during the night, but gotten back to sleep pretty quickly. Mostly i wake becuase i need to piss. Instead of drinking alcohol i seem to cant stop drinking diet raspherry cordial, better than booze.

Still feeling great, and happy being AF, the fleeting thoughts of having a drink are followed by the memory of the anxiety and fear i felt waking up the following day.

Did anyone else feel the same when going AF? some days after going AF that are still good but not as GREAT. i guess im just setting into a new "normal"

here are some logs i wrote when i was tritating up

28/08/2013 - bad anxiety today, fucking worreid about the house
29/08/2013 - bad anxiety again, fear big time when I woke up, it faded through out the day which suggests that drinking is definitely the cause, it seems worse on BAC, but tbh buying a house is fucking stressful, worried about money, and the project at work is giving me hell at work to no end. ive drunk a bottle of wine now and the anxiety has melted, i think i need to try an AF day soon
30/08/2013 - bad anxiety when I awoke this morning which reduced throughout the day, very difficult to sleep at night, I think I may have had 25mg too much of baclofen, I find that I forget the dosages that I take. Right now its 6pm and ive started drinking, feeling quite good now
31/08/2013 - bad anxiety again
1/09/2013 - side effects seem gone from the last 10mg bump
2/09/2013 - ok more anxiety worried about financial situation uneeded, big fear from drinking last night

wrote this gem on the 17th of june, i should really write how i feel more as its quite insightful, june was before i was on bac
17 june 2013
- 6:51 - drank about 10 mins ago whiskey and beer, feeling pretty good
- 9:03 - loathing, self hatred, feel like a loser, {guy at work} only just feels sorry for me thats why he helped me today, feel like i need to drink more, even though more wont make me feel better and i know this. feel like shit, burning burning, going to read crippling alcoholism subreddit
- 9:45 - feels like an eternity since the last entry, drank more since the last entry too. the room is spinning now and it is unplesant, i felt like drinking more just 10 minutes ago, but i am now glad i did not. Feeling sorry for , myself, feel like a loser, laid down on the ground and wish i was dead, great way to spend $30.

...

I almost pulled out of buying that house even though the mortgage repayments are easily affordable %30 or so of my income.

I see these posts i made and it made me realise how much ive changed, what the hell was i stressing about?

And the post in June, well that was really just a typical night of drinking, its downright so sad what i put myself through.

My whole journey with becoming AF after 5 years of drinking began when i changed jobs, i freaked the fuck out because i thought i wouldnt perform or pass probation. when i left the job they gave me some good feedback and i felt stupid, but the damage was done. I realised then it was the booze all along that had done this. I was just so astounded i couldnt see it, i couldnt sit outside myself and realise that a lot of the anxiety was because of the booze. it just had built up more and more over the years, in the beginning booze helped my anxiety, then it made it worse.

it really is interesting how alcoholism evolves over time. drinking when i was 16 is not the same as when i was 22, 25 and now 29. the last two years in particular things went south. Even the high is different, the hang over, what you do when you drink, what you think when you drink, how much, i could go on. I've done my share of drugs in the past and I would say that alcohol is the most insidious in that sense.

Now i just need to get a handle on my stupid codeine habit

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Neo... man it is amazing how we tie ourselves up into knots of stress and anxiety over such little and inconsequential stuff. Good to remember next time I'm stressing over something, to calm down, breathe, and don't sweat the small stuff cuz it's all small stuff.

Day 42 AF

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Day 43 AF

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Day 44 AF

[neophyte]

Abstinence Challenge

skullbabyland;1558348 wrote: Neo... man it is amazing how we tie ourselves up into knots of stress and anxiety over such little and inconsequential stuff. Good to remember next time I'm stressing over something, to calm down, breathe, and don't sweat the small stuff cuz it's all small stuff.

Day 42 AF

couldnt agree more Skull

Day 14 AF

[neophyte]

Abstinence Challenge

Day 15 AF

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Neo- halfway to 30 days... badass! Keep it goin brotha.

Day 45 AF

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Day 47 AF

[StuckinLA]

Abstinence Challenge

Dude you are rockin' it! Good work, Skull!

Cheers, brother.

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Thanks Stuck, I appreciate that You're probably at around 140 days now, right? Cheers to you too man, and good luck to you on your big writing project!

[StuckinLA]

Abstinence Challenge

skullbabyland;1560647 wrote: You're probably at around 140 days now, right?

Yeah right around that. Makes me think it's about time for a beer.

[neophyte]

Abstinence Challenge

skullbabyland;1559766 wrote: Neo- halfway to 30 days... badass! Keep it goin brotha.

Day 45 AF

Thanks Skull! right! back at you, it hasnt been easy esp the past couple of days

friends are going out to the bar tonight, but i had to turn them down, i dont really wnat to hang around in a bar if im not drinking, dont really like bars to begin with, noisy and expensive

Day 17 AF, 13 more days