Abstinence Challenge

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Abstinence Challenge

Hiya peeps.

I just watched a documentary about ultramarathoners who run (walk) the four deserts. It's something around 1000 kms. (4 Deserts Official Website)

What struck me, besides the fact that they're completely nuts, is the dedication (obviously) but also the fact that when they fail, they still keep walking. I mean, you can't stop walking. They count their steps, for sure, but always with the eyes on the goal. (The next rest area. The next hill. The next step.)

Counting days never worked for me. Partly because I'm way too ADD to actually keep track, but also because feeling like a failure feeds my particular brand of alcoholism. On the other hand, I count everything. Pages I need to read, for example. And I time everything. "Just 5 more mother lovin' minutes of reading about wound dehiscence and I'll be FREE!" That kind of thing keeps me feeling accomplished and motivated.

If counting makes you feel accomplished, then YAY. But if it makes you feel badly about yourself, then hmmmm. Nothing feeds that beast more than feeling like shite about oneself.

And here's another thing: Once I was free of the compulsion and craving, I could see that it was the total amount of time I spent making the effort to battle the disease. Not just trying to be abstinent, but trying so damn hard to get free. It still makes me feel like a super-hero. And that includes the biggest lesson I most easily forget: To be gentle with me.

Cheers.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Abstinence Challenge

For your amusement:

Cough syrup ~1888.
[IMG/] [/IMG] Attached files [img]/converted_files/2225234=7672-attachment.jpg[/img]

[StuckinLA]

Abstinence Challenge

Ne/Neva Eva;1590267 wrote: Cough syrup ~1888.
[IMG/] [/IMG]

That'll f**king cure what ails ya'!

[MissIndygo]

Abstinence Challenge

Ne/Neva Eva;1590267 wrote: Cough syrup ~1888.
[IMG/] [/IMG]

I'll have me some of that Yum

In those days they used to prescribe coke and heroine too...
Damn born too late.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Abstinence Challenge

I know. Wowza! Talk about the cure being worse than the cause. Though fun for a little while anyway...

Three years around here and I can never remember how to post a pic, despite the fact that I've done it many times. So annoying. Sorry.

For those of you who don't want to or can't click through, it's a cough syrup label with alcohol, nicotine extract, morphine and something else.

[MissIndygo]

Abstinence Challenge

"But do keep posting. There's nothing more humble than coming in here, flaunting a low number...then the next day flaunting an even lower number. Keeps us accountable."

Hmmm I stuffed up on the first day, only had 4 beers tho...because they were there. Well if they hadn't been there I most likely would have gone and got some.

Then that gave me the excuse to continue today, as I failed yet again and this time I even put it on a public forum. FFS!

I have been drinking since 11 this morning today, but sooo slow. That is one major effect I have noticed from Bac (among many others) that even though I still drink, I drink so slow.

So I can drink all day, which (don't get me wrong I would, but sporadically) is more than I would ever drink before Bac, but I never get spastic drunk anymore.
So I came to the conclusion that drinking is boring, as I don't even get drunk, but giving it all away is too scary to think about as well.

Actually not tru. I do still get a buzz and somehow I don't seem to suffer the horrible hangovers that others have had on Bac (as documented on MWO). I wonder why? But for now, I think alcohol is probably still serving a better option than Bac.

Grrr wish Bac could prove to be the upper hand soon.

Most of all - Thanks people!
I tried to put a few quotes in from a few different responses, but I haven't quite worked out how to do all that yet.
Having said that I have read them all and I will take them all aboard and appreciate your interest in my welfare very much.

Thanks

[MissIndygo]

Abstinence Challenge

Ne/Neva Eva;1590372 wrote: I know. Wowza! Talk about the cure being worse than the cause. Though fun for a little while anyway...

Hmm people that were prescribed cocaine and heroine in those days didn't see them as fun, but as a medicine. They didn't know any better (imho).

Having said that there were enough addicts, to especially heroine in those days, that did understand the "euphoric' or mind-evolving effects of those sort of medications. So they started doctor shopping when the government started to put their 2 cents into the prescribing of said heroine and cocaine as medications for depression and anxiety. Or hysteria, which it was most likely called at that time.

Sorry I don't mean to come across as a know-it-all (or smart-ass), but had those 'housewives' known what they were taking at the time.... we would have heard a lot more about house-parties. Like centuries ago hehe . Still wish I lived in those times tho

Anyways, one more thing I would like to add, especially about heroine being prescribed in those days is that it was probably the cleanest of the opium variant ever on offer.
For your information pure clean uncut heroin poses no danger to health what so ever!
A bit like smoking I suppose; clean limited amounts of nicotine pose no thread to health either.
Sure they both have affects on the neurological system of the person using it, but it could be logical that that these people are merely adding to their system what is genetically missing.

Ahh back to alcohol.

Sorry I will get off my high horse now. Another day on the piss, but not another day wasted. Thank god.
I seriously hope I can contribute in a positive way to this forum.

Just let me know when you are sick and tired of me going of a tangent hehe.

:new: Luvu-all

[MissIndygo]

Abstinence Challenge

StuckinLA;1589903 wrote: Hey detox totally counts! You were abstinent for 4 weeks and 3 days.

Jealous of your e-cigs - I've tried but just can't seem to switch over...

Sorry Stuck, I meant detox was included. So my total days of abstinence were not that high unfortunately
Who cares anyways. It's easy in detox and/or rehab....

PS: E-cigs work for me, but having to move on to e-liquid and sufficient batteries & clearomiser etc, as simple buying filled cartomisers just doesn't do it for me. There always seems to be something wrong with either the cartomiser or the battery grrr.

I will let you know how I go via pm if you like. Btw am amazed, as you live in the land of plenty re: all things e-cigs....
We have trouble trying to get it into Oz, and we already have a law prohibiting against importing amounts and certainly against selling it on. There goes my idea of making a million!!

Thanks for the positive thoughts though
Indygo

[Mandiekinz]

Abstinence Challenge

I've only went through bouts of counting as to help my family and friends see that I'm making an effort. Perhaps they'd talk to me more? They're stern believers in AA and abstinence for me. I don't blame them. So many people are brought into that mentality and don't understand that there are new progressive ways to battle the disease. As with depression until the 50's. Also in the beginning days, it helps me to put distance until I know I'm in the clear. Once I bounce back to normal mentality, it's easy for me to not pick up that bottle. I just get booored and want to entertain myself. So occasionally I'd catch myself grabbing just a bit to drink. As for the events this past month...pfffft...there was no escaping, just crawling into a bottle very quickly. hah.

MissIndygo, I've also noticed in the past on bac that it was easy to not get drunk and drink rather slowly. In fact, the only problem with my drinking was that I prefer to drink alone and my fiance does not tolerate that very well. Crazy thing is on bac, he'd just dump it out or hide it...and I'd forget about it. Pre-bac...WWIII would break loose...hardcore. hah.

If only we could be brought up in the culture of Amsterdam, we probably wouldn't be struggling with addictions. Nothing is taboo.

[MissIndygo]

Abstinence Challenge

To the people on this abstinence thread. I realise I am part of derailing this thread and am more than happy to move my postings here to my own thread, but I don't know how. Any suggestions?

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Abstinence Challenge

Mandiekinz;1590598 wrote:
If only we could be brought up in the culture of Amsterdam, we probably wouldn't be struggling with addictions. Nothing is taboo.

Plenty of Dutch people here at MWO. I'm pretty sure alcoholism/addiction are everywhere.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Abstinence Challenge

I had a sponsor years (and years and years) ago who was really upset about the fact that drunk people couldn't come to our home group meetings. That wasn't always the case and it certainly doesn't make sense. Ya' know. (On the other hand, nothing worse than sitting next to a very smelly drunk when one is teetotaling. I'll never forget that meeting.)

I'm pretty sure that the vast majority of my posts in the first year weren't sober. My evening routine was basically drinking the first glass of wine on the way to the bedroom to remove all the clothes that chafe and to change into "lounge wear". On the way back to the living room, I would grab the first bottle and then sitting down for a night of MWO and wine until it was time to pass out cold. I only got up to go to the bathroom and when it was time to open the second bottle.

I can't say what should be where, but I can tell you that I wouldn't want to be a part of any group of drunks (sober or not) who didn't support someone who was trying to be un-drunk. just sayin'

[MissIndygo]

Abstinence Challenge

Ne/Neva Eva;1590705 wrote: Plenty of Dutch people here at MWO. I'm pretty sure alcoholism/addiction are everywhere.

Hihi I am Dutch I spend the first 20 years of my life in the Netherlands and the next 22 in Australia.
The Dutch drink heaps, but are very controlled in their drinking, as in that you don't often see people getting spastic drunk. Well not in my family and the town I grew up in anyway.
Sure plenty of alcoholics there as well, but behind closed doors (imho).

The Dutch are tightening up a lot of their liberal attitudes unfortunately. It used to be such a progressive country. A real shame.

[Lo0p]

Abstinence Challenge

MissIndygo;1590692 wrote: To the people on this abstinence thread. I realise I am part of derailing this thread and am more than happy to move my postings here to my own thread, but I don't know how. Any suggestions?

I wouldn't worry about it. I come in and treat this thread like it's a $50 hooker for kicks.

:new:

[MissIndygo]

Abstinence Challenge

Lo0p;1590871 wrote: I wouldn't worry about it. I come in and treat this thread like it's a $50 hooker for kicks.

:new:

:H cheap hooker!