Abstinence Challenge

[Mandiekinz]

Abstinence Challenge

Two weeks and almost 12 hours...since the day I buried my Papa. Also, since my last drink.

I feel like pouring one out for my homie.

[neophyte]

Abstinence Challenge

Mandie, it must be tough with what you are going through, if it was me i would probably feel the same. Try and avoid if you can, it will just make you feel worse. Vent on here as well. It helps to get an objective opinion even on the internet. Your messages to me helped so much.

[neophyte]

Abstinence Challenge

Day 7 AF

I no way in hell want to repeat what happened last saturday night, i had roughly 12 standard drinks with no tollerance, bac in my blood and the hang over was hell, anxiety through the roof.

I have minimal cravings at 295mg. I passed the friday night test with relative ease, i even went to the store that sells booze just to pick up some dinner and didnt even consider buying booze. Even on my last proclaimed 'switch' at 240 mg this would not have happened,.

I think I won't use the term switch for myself anymore. It's more of a light dimmer, each time i go up in bac, it takes about 5 days for the new indifference dimmer to go down more. One of the reasons why i wanted to tritate up as quick as i did, 350mg by nye is that i could start the new year and have the dimmer on virtually 0. in the new year i could then deal with my addictions to opiates, alcohol and the occasional cravings for benzos. Given the side effects i had, i realise now that was a bad idea.

My real nasty SE that just doesnt seem to go away is day time sleepyness and the inability to sleep at night. Luckily my job at the moment i can take it easy, i go to have power naps in the park for 30 minutes. At night time i can barely sleep 4 hours and it takes nearly 2 hours to fall asleep sometimes. Very frustrating. I've been on 295 for about 2 weeks now, so hopefully this will ease over time.

[Mandiekinz]

Abstinence Challenge

Thanks, Neophyte. As yours help as well.

Great work on 7 days!!! I know it's been a rocky trail for us both. Progress, not perfection.

For your daytime sleepiness...Do you break your doses up more than 3 doses a day? I was recommended that once and it really helped me.

I know that stores can be a huge trigger. Pre-bac I used to throw fits in my head at each check out realizing I wasn't leaving the store with my best friend. I too went to the store twice today to buy something OTHER than booze. I've never bought anything but booze from there before today. They immediately ran to the back to grab my brand. I felt sick.

Also, congrats to Australia now allowing same sex marriages! Yay!

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Day 37 AF

[neophyte]

Abstinence Challenge

Mandie, I started taking my doses in 4 lots to ensure i have a stable blood level of bac as much as possible. doesnt seem to help though.

as for the triggers, well yesterday i screwed up, a bottle of wine. saturday night and my SO had people over, cant blame her for that. but i didnt really feel like socialising, everyone was drinking and i was just sitting there not feeling very conversational. so i got on my bike and got some wine. when i was on my bike the thought of wanting booze just vanished, though i bought it anywayt as i had to go back. i should have just kept riding to get some exersize.

so im going to order some antabuse, its never the cravings that get me now, its the other triggers. a once off booze up i could perhaps deal with 6 months down the line, but in my early stage of recovery and the plans i have next year and for what i want to do with my codiene usage, i need sobriety.

so bad to day 1 AF

and antabuse time from goldpharama

its about time they legalised gay marrige, i could care less if people wnat to hook up with the same sex, it means more for me!

woo!

[Mandiekinz]

Abstinence Challenge

Haha, I see we are quite alike. I also rebel against my 'not caring to drink' thoughts. It's almost as though I go out of my way to actually drink. I could easily not drink as it would only take a liiiittle bit of will power. However, I'll tell myself to fuck off and forge on with that first swig. Perhaps we secretly fear the change. At least you're still coming back and taking accountability.

Skull- sooo glad to see you still pressing forward as well. The perseverance just screams out of you, even when the forum is quiet. Well done, my friend.

...16.

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Thanks Mandie ... I seem to finally have found a good combo of tools that works for me. I'm dreading the holidays sober a little but I'll live...

Neo, glad to hear you're going to add antabuse. I assume you've read up on all the warnings etc? Once you take it, if you drink you can seriously damage yourself and etc etc??

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Day 38 AF

[neophyte]

Abstinence Challenge

skull, the way im going into this, antabuse+drinking= crippling death. with that attitude i think i can abstain i like the fact that it takes two weeks to clear your body completely will keep me out of trouble as well.

The drowsiness before sleep appeals to me as well, since ive had so much trouble falling/staying asleep. Is this side effect pronounced for you?

I plan on taking a smaller dose than normal, more of a psychological check and balance, ill have about a 6 month supply. so if i can hold out that long, i think that will be my ticket.

I think without baclofen, antabuse would have been a bad idea. It's just punishment without addressing the cravings. So I think your suggestion of having both is a good one. I'm not like other members on bac who stop drinking after a few drinks when on baclofen when they hit their switch. I think part of the problem is how i consume my alcohol. very fast. I would previously down 350ml of scotch in about 30 mins so i would get the euphoric rush of that booze hitting me on an empty stomach.

I try to slow it down with wine but ultimately i still drink it all too fast. That said, when i do screw up, it tends to be 1 bottle of wine instead of two and i dont feel like running down the store to get more.

before baclofen, i would be nervously checking my watch, thinking that i have x amount of time before the store closes, do i really want to start sobriety today? i only have x minutes to decide... fuck it, lets get drunk!

In hindsight, there is no way in hell i would have been able to quit without baclofen.

[StuckinLA]

Abstinence Challenge

neophyte;1596335 wrote:
before baclofen, i would be nervously checking my watch, thinking that i have x amount of time before the store closes, do i really want to start sobriety today? i only have x minutes to decide... fuck it, lets get drunk!

Oh I hate last call! Knowing that one liquor store closes at midnight. Then after that one, the other, more expensive one across the street closes at 2, and ya' know, I mean, there's really no harm in just *buying* a bottle, to have here just in case. I'll put it in the cabinet, right, it's not like I'm *necessarily* going to drink it or anything I only want to know that it's here.

The worst!

[JDizzle]

Abstinence Challenge

I love it. My town back when I was in high school was real small. We had to get a 21 yr old and drive to the next town. We knew the exact amt of time the drive took and it seemed every time we were speeding. Our 21 yr old would walk in tell the clerk what he was getting and tell them he was paying with $20. That way the clerk could ring it up on time while he was grabbing the beer. ALWAYS down to the last minute.

[Mandiekinz]

Abstinence Challenge

The silly lies we tell ourselves. I always went with fifths, until I realized that I never end up saving some for the next day. So then I began to buy half pints, and inevitably end up walking back to the store 2 or 3 more times to purchase more half pints. It would have been much cheaper to just get the fifths.

Living in the city, I used to have a liquor store right across the street from me. During all night parties, every morning someone would ask when the liquor store opens. We'd never remember. As bad as this sounds...I'd just tell them to peek out the window...if the homeless are lining up, that means it's about to open. Those were the days...before hard liquor and a 30 pack of busch light was my best friend. Keep it classy.

18.

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

neophyte;1596335 wrote: skull, the way im going into this, antabuse+drinking= crippling death. with that attitude i think i can abstain i like the fact that it takes two weeks to clear your body completely will keep me out of trouble as well.

The drowsiness before sleep appeals to me as well, since ive had so much trouble falling/staying asleep. Is this side effect pronounced for you?

I plan on taking a smaller dose than normal, more of a psychological check and balance, ill have about a 6 month supply. so if i can hold out that long, i think that will be my ticket.

I think without baclofen, antabuse would have been a bad idea. It's just punishment without addressing the cravings. So I think your suggestion of having both is a good one. I'm not like other members on bac who stop drinking after a few drinks when on baclofen when they hit their switch. I think part of the problem is how i consume my alcohol. very fast. I would previously down 350ml of scotch in about 30 mins so i would get the euphoric rush of that booze hitting me on an empty stomach.

I try to slow it down with wine but ultimately i still drink it all too fast. That said, when i do screw up, it tends to be 1 bottle of wine instead of two and i dont feel like running down the store to get more.

before baclofen, i would be nervously checking my watch, thinking that i have x amount of time before the store closes, do i really want to start sobriety today? i only have x minutes to decide... fuck it, lets get drunk!

In hindsight, there is no way in hell i would have been able to quit without baclofen.

Yep. Antabuse takes away the monkey chatter in your head, giving you some peace since you have no option to drink. And baclofen disarms the cravings so that you won't suddenly decide to listen to a craving and ditch the antabuse, waiting for the day that it's safe to drink. For me, my downfall was always a mixture of cravings plus habit plus triggers. Between these medications, they disarm all of them.

As for dosing Antabuse, I've heard of some people who dose once or twice a week. This doesn't seem as good to me because at any time during the week you have anywhere from 3 to 6 days where "ah maybe screw it I'll just not take more antabuse, and drink soon since I'm close-ish to safe to do so". Thus leading to failure. I'm sure it works for some people but I don't feel it'd be right for me. So, I do 125mg every night, which is half of a 250 tab. That makes it always in my blood and thus never safe to drink.

The drowsiness that comes with Antabuse is minor. No biggie, and you may or may not feel it much. I take my Antabuse with a melatonin and sleep pretty well.

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

AF Day 39