Abstinence Challenge

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

StuckinLA;1596369 wrote: Oh I hate last call! Knowing that one liquor store closes at midnight. Then after that one, the other, more expensive one across the street closes at 2, and ya' know, I mean, there's really no harm in just *buying* a bottle, to have here just in case. I'll put it in the cabinet, right, it's not like I'm *necessarily* going to drink it or anything I only want to know that it's here.

The worst!

Man... I do NOT miss those days. Running out at 11:51 pm in a mental panic, leaving my non-alcoholic friends at the dinner party at my house scratching their heads, only to see me 10 minutes later with another 2 six packs. Or, if I miss the liquor store cutoff, begin the futile attempt at trying to convince them to tag along to the pub til closing time at 2 am, or sneak out there solo. Some of my most blundered, embarassing, and even dangerous times have been late at night, drinking by myself since all my friends/GF have gone home from the pub, making an ass of myself.

[StuckinLA]

Abstinence Challenge

Let's all take a deep breath, calm down, and remember that no one stops selling vanilla extract or Listerine at 2 am.

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Day 40 AF

[Alky]

Abstinence Challenge

neophyte;1596335 wrote: The drowsiness before sleep appeals to me as well, since ive had so much trouble falling/staying asleep. Is this side effect pronounced for you?

Insomnia was one of several related reasons I started to drink alcoholically. My GP put me on trazodone, which gets the job done most of the time, but as the comedian Denis Leary once said about NyQuil, the warning label on the bottle of trazodone should say "don't make any f**king plans." Traz is like a sledgehammer. I could easily sleep 10 hours on one 100mg dose and still not want to get out of bed. And once I did it took about a hour for the "fog" to lift. Dr. L. told me to take my third dose of bac several hours before bed, but I take it about 30 minutes before, and the sensation of falling asleep feels much more natural than with traz, which makes you feel like you've been hit with a chemical sledgehammer.

[Alky]

Abstinence Challenge

skullbabyland;1596701 wrote: Man... I do NOT miss those days. Running out at 11:51 pm in a mental panic, leaving my non-alcoholic friends at the dinner party at my house scratching their heads, only to see me 10 minutes later with another 2 six packs. Or, if I miss the liquor store cutoff, begin the futile attempt at trying to convince them to tag along to the pub til closing time at 2 am, or sneak out there solo. Some of my most blundered, embarassing, and even dangerous times have been late at night, drinking by myself since all my friends/GF have gone home from the pub, making an ass of myself.

I was enabled by living near the boundaries of two separate municipalities. The town in which I live cuts off alcohol sales at midnight, but conveniently, the neighboring county less than a mile away didn't cut off alcohol sales until 2. 99% of the time, I managed to pass out by 2, but on those nights I didn't, I was screwed for the next five hours until alcohol sales resumed at 7. Now that is shame - showing up at the store at 7:01 to get your fix and it's completely obvious to everyone in the store that you're a raging alcoholic.

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Alky;1597133 wrote: I was enabled by living near the boundaries of two separate municipalities. The town in which I live cuts off alcohol sales at midnight, but conveniently, the neighboring county less than a mile away didn't cut off alcohol sales until 2. 99% of the time, I managed to pass out by 2, but on those nights I didn't, I was screwed for the next five hours until alcohol sales resumed at 7. Now that is shame - showing up at the store at 7:01 to get your fix and it's completely obvious to everyone in the store that you're a raging alcoholic.

Oh man... the 7 am liquor store run. Yep... been there a time or two. (Or three or five). Sad days.

[neophyte]

Abstinence Challenge

day 4 AF.

Alky, my sleep lately has been terrible. there was a few days where i would start to fall asleep at 10:30, be in bed by 11 and then be lucky to fall asleep by 12, sometimes it took longer. then i would wake up at 2:30 and toss and turn till 4 when i had my codeine and baclofen. i would then try to go back to sleep at 5 and i would probably get another 1 1.5 hours sleep. messed up to say the least.

I;ve been playing around with different variables, different bac dosing times, no coffee after a certain time but i realised that the main problem with me staying asleep is restless leg which is an anoying side effect of bac i get, which has gotten worse at higher doses. to combat this i go up and down about 40 stairs with some weights in my hand, that seemed to do the trick. last night i slept from 11pm to 4am uninterupted. except my cats woke me up at 4am :P

I did look into taking trazadone, however im on an SSRI, so i think there is an interaction there. hopefully the exersizes that im doing will help me out enough to not have to resort to drugs.

[Mandiekinz]

Abstinence Challenge

Magnesium, folate, and iron.

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Day 41 AF

[Mandiekinz]

Abstinence Challenge

3 weeks since we buried my Papa and since my last drink. Ironically enough, my S.O's other sister is being buried today too. Three deaths in a month is pretty tiring on everyone. You start to run out of people to go have a laugh with. Six deaths this last month if you want to count extended deaths. Get your check ups in, people!

And don't drink and drive!

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Wow Mandie I am so sorry to hear about the deaths in your family. I am amazed and inspired that you are staying sober through this.

Last year we lost my Grandfather to whom I'd become very close. Our whole family was. He was the last of our old-timers and the wise, loving patriarch of our family. When he died, I was on Antabuse at the time so I couldn't go get drunk, though I reaeeeeeaaally wanted to. It was maddening-- I had to just sit and deal with the grief. Looking back I see how good for me that was-- I think I grew a lot. But it was frustrating at the time cuz all I wanted to do was crawl down a bottle for a month.

Anyway, well done and happy thoughts.

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Day 42 AF

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Day 43 AF

[Mandiekinz]

Abstinence Challenge

Thanks Skull. There are many elements driving me to keep sober at this time. The S.O. even brought up about going to a bar in the near future for a couple of drinks...I kind of cringed.

I'm sorry about your Grandfather as well. I definitely went back to my crutch for my Papa's wake and funeral. Had I been in your position back then, I would have sucked down the booze with the antabuse. But alas! That means you certainly did care about your well being I see in the past 4 months you've grown to care even more about your well being.

Skull, you're absolutely right...we definitely grow when we're sober, especially during hard times. It's a part of nature. Wallow in the good and embrace the suck.

Do you have certain goals in mind with your sobriety? Or are you trying to just get far far away from the last day you drank?

Still going strong here. Now, if only I could lay off the chain smoking. Yuk!

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Thanks Mandie. As for certain goals... All I know is that I've made a solid commitment to 90 days AF. My hope is once I get there to extend that to 120.

During my last stretch of AF time, I made it 67 days. I felt like a million bucks by that point. Strong, solid, steady. Then, I allowed myself to be derailed due to upcoming parties/social gatherings. I went straight back to my old drinking, which told me that I'll need to go higher in bac dosage to hit my switch. But it also showed me the stark contrast of what my life could be vs. what it is when drinking. When I drink, my life is just... shit. It feels like being a hardcore junkie where all I care about is the fix, as my life unravels around me. Sick, depressed, hopeless, numb. Barely alive.

When sober, I've got a fighting chance to be a strong man. And scary as that seems to me in some ways, that's what I desparately want to be. I know I can, but I know I can only do it sober. So that's the major reasons behind my 90 (120?) days. Well, that, plus it coincides nicely with my health/weight loss goals

Sometime after that 120 days, when I'm significantly higher on my bac dose, I'll experiment with alcohol again-- see if anything's changed. If there's the possibility of drinking moderately/socially then of course that'd be nice and I'd like it. Maybe it'll be an option, maybe not. But that's for the future- for now, the large stretch of AF time is paramount.

But, I digress. PS, I can commiserate on the chain smoking... for a couple weeks I went back to sweet, lovely, delicious, toxic cigarettes. It was a comfort and a "friend". I've been back off them for a couple weeks now but sometimes I crave them enough that I'm thiiiiiis close to running out and buying a pack. I think to myself "look I'm being good with everything else, smoking won't hurt me". Haha, one of the top killers in the USA and I think it won't hurt me. Addiction can be hilarious.

There's something to be said though for tackling one addiction at a time, certainly... but for now I'm trying to do all or nothing. It makes me pretty boring, but that's ok