Abstinence Challenge

[Fred_The_Cat]

Abstinence Challenge

Day 7.

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Day 50

[neophyte]

Abstinence Challenge

some good news

we were moving some furniture and we found a case of beer I didn't know about. It's now sitting in the garage, i didn't have to resist it at all. It felt so normal to not think about it at all. yet it's such a change from a year ago, I would have obsessed about it and planned a way to drink it.

[Mandiekinz]

Abstinence Challenge

Day one. It's been a battle in my head today. I want to say fuck it and drink it all away. However, I know that he would be so saddened by it. He needs me to stand up and be strong. The very things he's been guiding me to do over the last few months.

Lost another love yesterday. I drank to him. I cried for him. We shall all mourn him. A few of us have been behind the scenes trying to figure out a way to let the community know of the news of losing one of our own, nearest and dearest leaders/members...but someone jumped on it for us. We can now openly mourn. I'm so sorry to you all.

Here's to you, my love, Lo0p R. Evan Picard 05/14/1981 - 12/19/2013

Ugh

[spiritwolf333]

Abstinence Challenge

Mandi -I am so-so-so sorry for your loss (our loss). Evan will be missed by so many. Please take care of yourself.
Peace

[Mandiekinz]

Abstinence Challenge

Definitely OUR loss. He was a master player in our community. But as our dear friend RedThread says...people never die, his remnants are here, and will always be here...

Pulverizing Synchronicity
The Reason This Forum Exists
08-16-2013, 12:22 AM
On the morning of May 2nd I died. All I knew the night before was that I was losing consciousness fast and fell asleep. Fortunately I was visiting my parent's house for the weekend and staying in their spare bedroom which triples as a laundry room and a pantry. My mother came in at 5 am. I was living with my sister at the time and she would not have come in my room for any reason, ever.

My mother was a candy-striper at a hospital when she was a teenager. She heard what she told me they called "the death rattle". When old people are about to die their lungs fill up with fluid (pneumonia) and they make this sound while they breathe that I guess sounds like a rattler. She sat by my bed and tried to wake me. Foam started coming from my mouth.

I died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.
Those of you that know well me know that I am a scientist at heart and that humility is my creed. I know that the things I think I know as facts may be wrong. I try to live my life this way and try approach every intellectual pursuit guided by this principle. I have been evolving since I was young, raised as an atheist, from denying the existence of anything that was not proven or explained by physical phenomena to something...well, different. I now recognize the obvious truth that throughout human history, innumerable things by countless cultures things that were used to be thought of as spiritual, acts of a god, ethereal or to put into the term that I understand metaphysical phenomena, are now things that are easily explained away by what we have come to know as the physical world and science

A simple example: Fire. I couldn't begin to guess how many cultures or peoples placed a metaphysical personification on to fire. It is a chemical reaction. We know know that. Or at least we think we do.

It would be arrogant of me to assume that all of the things that we now think of as metaphysical will not be explained in the future as physical phenomena. Telepathy, extra sensory perception, who knows. Hell, we make all kinds of devices that do similar things. We have yet to make a device that can approach the capabilities of the human brain. But please, telepathy...when did we invent the radio? And how many incarnations of transmission of information through the air have we invented since? Satellite transmission, microwave relays...It's pointless to start a list. Do I believe in telepathy. Maybe, I don't know yet.
I was either in a prolonged vegetative state or coma for 76 hours and regained consciousness on the morning of May 5th. The birthday of my best friend and brother, Joel, who died in 2004 of a heroin overdose.

I will always love you Joel. And I thank you for telling me, years later, that it was an accident and that you did not do it on purpose. I wondered in pain for years. But you knew when to tell me, just in time to save my life.

I was released from the hospital with strict instructions to do absolutely nothing but rest. I still had pneumonia, I could still feel it in my lungs and was given a 7 day course of medication to clear the infection.

I felt as though I was possessed. For the first time in my life I didn't just "feel" as though I was being guided by something else to "take action", I knew it.

Against all medical advice and the pleading of my family I worked nonstop. I still struggled sometimes to breathe.

I slept only when I lost consciousness and seven days later with a little help from the stratusphere (yes, purposefully misspelled), on May 12th, baclofenforalcoholism.com went live.


Since then I've been asked a few questions. One was: "Another forum...why?"

I'll use no quotes because they are not but I've seen comments like:

Split the community? Why?
and
There's another reason.

I've even received private correspondences with the words "shill" and "conflict of interest" in them.

It took me a while to wrap my head around these. I get some of them now.

Nobody has ever asked me the direct question: "Why did you make these forums or this website?"


To this day my answer would have been and still is: "Don't ask me."

There is more to this story than I have written. The people closest to me know all of it. I hope I will be in a position to tell it all someday, when we accomplish our goal.

The Reason This Forum Exists - Baclofen for Alcoholism and Other Addictions

His work shall carry on...

[MissIndygo]

Abstinence Challenge

@Mandi I tried to send you a pm, through both sites. To no avail.
Thinking of you, and all the other people lo0p had an impact on during his life. Many I believe!
Take good care of you now lady!
xx

[Mandiekinz]

Abstinence Challenge

Thank you, Lovely. He was important to many, many people and this movement period.

Not sure why my private messages aren't working..I'll look into that problem immediately. if anything you can always send it to my email in my signature. I apologize for the hassle.

Cheers, dolly

[MissIndygo]

Abstinence Challenge

As odd as it may sound to us seasoned alkies it is actually a much better/easier process to go through sober. Yep I do talk from experience (s).
We all want to go back to our crutch that has carried us so many times through live's upheavals, but try to sit with the pain of losing somebody so important in your life. Feel it, respect it and slowly crawl back up.
No time frame either, but time will tell and time will heal.

Be selfish and look after you first now!
All the best. You can do this!
Xx

[Mandiekinz]

Abstinence Challenge

You are so absolutely right, lady. I'm trying to hold strong. Many of us are. My heart is just so heavy right now, as I truly couldn't wait for us to be able to be together. We were just a few weeks away..

I know your heart does speak from experience. I'm sorry if this tugs at a string for you. You're a good friend, I'm so glad you're here. It's about time you come in here and kick OUR butts!

[MissIndygo]

Abstinence Challenge

:l

:h

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

I'm so sorry for all of Evan's close friends... Sorry Mandie that you lost such a good friend and support. Very tragic.

Hard as it may be right now, the best way to honor Evan's memory is to strive for control and/or sobriety, in my opinion. We should not judge ourselves if there've been nights when we used alcohol while grieving, we can get back to sober days and back to the business of living well to honor ourselves and our lost friend.

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Day 52 AF

[joanna_d]

Abstinence Challenge

oh my god... what?? how?? i don't know what to say...

i know there are people arouond here that go way longer back than me with Evan, so i can't imagine how hard this must be for you guys, as i feel like the blood has left my body just now.

my heart goes out to you :l

[Mandiekinz]

Abstinence Challenge

Evan was the one to drag my miserable ass in here and post with him as he was trying to "get fit" for when he was to arrive in Tulsa. I was ultimately doing it for him.

I'll keep doing it for him.