Abstinence Challenge

[whatever...]

Abstinence Challenge

As long as she keeps taking Antabuse most likely she's going to have at least 4 more days of sobriety ahead of her

[Juan BH]

Abstinence Challenge

JD, keep coming by and making jokes and living life brother!

Day 176 AF

[JDizzle]

Abstinence Challenge

Holy crap man. Ur nearly at 6 months. That's awesome!!! When was the last time u did that.... Age 12?

[Juan BH]

Abstinence Challenge

Good question... I actually pretty much white knuckled it for about 6 years or so in my early 20's. The addiction wasn't as strong when I quit that time. I was young and having a lot of blackouts, waking up and not knowing how I got home. A couple of incidents scared me enough to stay dry, but I was still pretty unhappy, just stayed busy all the time.

Things are going better this time around.

[Mandiekinz]

Abstinence Challenge

Skull, Poink, Dizzle, and Juan...excellent seeing so many in action in here!

Juan...you modest bastard. It's a wonder why you haven't been throwing up your digits...it's too many to count! hehe

It worked out perfectly though, I think Skull was getting a little too smug with his high digits. Just kidding, Skull.

[StuckinLA]

Abstinence Challenge

Wow no kidding - Juan that's badass. I'm also impressed by the stretch in your mid-20s. I had a lot of those nights too but didn't think anything about it. I figured that's just what people did in their mid-20s and was totally normal. :H

And everyone else - Skull, congrats. And keep on keepin' on.

[Mandiekinz]

Abstinence Challenge

Sorry LA, you're added to the list too!!!

[Juan BH]

Abstinence Challenge

Hey folks-

Thanks for the support on the AF time. I think Whatever touched a codependent nerve earlier today, so I threw out the 176 days. I just wanted to change the subject.

I mentioned white-knuckling it for 6 years in my 20's. That isn't a great reflection of what happened there. I remember it being tough to quit drinking in the beginning, but after a bit, I got used to it. All of the mind chatter faded quickly. As I mentioned before, the addiction wasn't very well established (not like this time anyway). Now that I look back on it, I think I had such a tough time being sober because I wasn't ok with me. I definitely had an anxiety problem that was untreated. I didn't have a 12-step group or any program to work either, so I just stayed sober and isolated and didn't really learn anything about how to live life in a healthier way. Don't get me wrong, a lot of good things happened during those years, but I could have done a lot more to help myself heal.

Is there still a challenge going on here for anybody?

[spiritwolf333]

Abstinence Challenge

Juan BH;1613716 wrote: Hey folks-

I mentioned white-knuckling it for 6 years in my 20's. That isn't a great reflection of what happened there. I remember it being tough to quit drinking in the beginning, but after a bit, I got used to it. All of the mind chatter faded quickly. As I mentioned before, the addiction wasn't very well established (not like this time anyway). Now that I look back on it, I think I had such a tough time being sober because I wasn't ok with me. I definitely had an anxiety problem that was untreated. I didn't have a 12-step group or any program to work either, so I just stayed sober and isolated and didn't really learn anything about how to live life in a healthier way.

Juan -Sounds like your confirming "alcoholism is a progressive disease"? I had 4 years dry in my late 20s. I quit then because of some legal pressures related to some poor business choices that I had made -again, alcohol tainted decisions. My thought process then was that I needed to be able to think as clearly as possible and -and most importantly, I did not want alcohol interfering with my worrying. And, after about two months -no alcohol - it was not even in my thoughts. I remember saying -"that was easy".

Now, what a great point(s) you hit on; Had an untreated anxiety problem and "was not ok with me". I too suffered terribly in both of these departments. And, even if I had know that I had a real problem(s), I would have: (1) Told myself that I was just mentally weak and (2) I would not have known how to ask for help and would have had too much pride to do so. All that I knew then was that alcohol calmed me down and allowed me to feel ok about myself.

I guess that I finally understand what some friends were saying (during my first attempts at sobriety); "Alcoholism is just a symptom". It becomes a problem in and of itself, but alcohol is only attempting to mask what's really going on.

Your topic brings out something very important -at least to me, and that is being able to ask for help. And I mean really asking -direct and too the point, with some level of humility. Or at the very least, ask for help without hurting others in the process (i.e. -saying hurtful things to get attention and then pretending to wonder why no one will help you).

Some of the greatest things that I discovered when I finally did start asking for help was this: (1) Most people really enjoy-benefit from helping someone else; (2) Usually, the help that you do get is sincere and unexpectedly more helpful than ever expected. It has taken me forever to learn and really understand that to ask for help is sign of courage, not a show of weakness.

Thanks for the topic- the thread.

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Ha, that's right, I'm a smug bastard... j/k,... I'm just trying to keep myself together, only barely succeeding the last couple days... but that's good enough for me

Day 77 AF

[Poink]

Abstinence Challenge

I described in another thread that these past few days being AF have been effortless, and they have, and I owe that to a mix of meds I have been on for a long time.

But about 16 years ago it was a completely different story. I went through a 28 day rehab, and then almost shook myself apart for months wanting a drink so bad. I went to an AA meeting every night, and there was an intersection not far from the meeting. If I turned left, there was an AA meeting. If I turned right, there was a package store. I lived a long way from that intersection, so every night for months I had an internal battle for about half an hour about which direction I was going to turn.

I always ended up turning left and making the meeting, but every night it was a struggle. I think the only reason I always turned left was that there was always so much noise in my head, so much screaming and yelling and static and chaos and the only place I found any relief was in that AA building. I didn't like the meetings very much, but it was a dedicated AA building that opened like half an hour or so before the meeting, and I could just go and sit and the noise would stop. It was the only place I could find peace. The only place.

It seems like it was several months before things eased off and my head quieted down and it was an easy decision to make to turn left. I kept going to those meetings daily for a year, and then quit. But by then, the desire had left, and the next 5 or 6 years went by pretty smoothly.

If you are struggling, and there is a place you can find peace, even for a little while, it helps. I was surprised that for me it was a creaky old building that has since been condemned. But even a little mental quiet and ease can help to recharge your batteries.

[StuckinLA]

Abstinence Challenge

Poink;1613908 wrote:
But about 16 years ago it was a completely different story. I went through a 28 day rehab, and then almost shook myself apart for months wanting a drink so bad. I went to an AA meeting every night, and there was an intersection not far from the meeting. If I turned left, there was an AA meeting. If I turned right, there was a package store. I lived a long way from that intersection, so every night for months I had an internal battle for about half an hour about which direction I was going to turn.

I always ended up turning left and making the meeting, but every night it was a struggle. I think the only reason I always turned left was that there was always so much noise in my head, so much screaming and yelling and static and chaos and the only place I found any relief was in that AA building. I didn't like the meetings very much, but it was a dedicated AA building that opened like half an hour or so before the meeting, and I could just go and sit and the noise would stop. It was the only place I could find peace. The only place.

It seems like it was several months before things eased off and my head quieted down and it was an easy decision to make to turn left. I kept going to those meetings daily for a year, and then quit. But by then, the desire had left, and the next 5 or 6 years went by pretty smoothly.

If you are struggling, and there is a place you can find peace, even for a little while, it helps. I was surprised that for me it was a creaky old building that has since been condemned. But even a little mental quiet and ease can help to recharge your batteries.

That's a really touching story and great advice, Poink, seriously. Thanks for that.

[Poink]

Abstinence Challenge

An even dozen coming to a close in about 3 hours.

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Thanks for sharing such a good post, Poink... so glad that you're racking up the days! You must be starting to feel pretty good, no?

Have a good weekend, everyone... be good to yourselves and protect your abstinence...

Day 78 AF

[StuckinLA]

Abstinence Challenge

Anybody feel like coming over and giving me a solid punch in the face? I'm needing some serious motivation to commit to a 30 days, to basically just get this sobriety ball rolling, and I'm not finding it. Right now I'm just kind of waffling back/forth between "man, I probably *shouldn't* be drinking" and "yeah, I'll have another."

The sky hasn't fallen, the world hasn't stopped spinning on its axis, I'm not in horrid withdrawal or overwhelming anxiety. But I'm on about 3 or 4 straight days now of starting around 5-7pm and drinking to passed out, waking up after noon the following day, not completely remembering the night before, etc.

Though I do have to say I'm making remarkable progress in this long-distance relationship with the new girl. Blackout me can be pretty charming on the phone, it seems.