Abstinence Challenge

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Congrats, Poink! Very very great work.

[Xadrian]

Abstinence Challenge

Day 4 AF for me. My mood is fine and I have no cravings at all.

[dundrinkn]

Abstinence Challenge

On day 27 AF. My mood is still fluctuating wildly. I am waking at night with really bad aching in my hands and feet. Guessing it is just another nasty SE. Blah. Will stay at 180mg until tuesday (30 days). Then lower the dosage by 5 mg. every 4 days or so. Will see how that feels. Thinking about drinking, but not feeling driven to test the waters. I also don't want to be in the AA mentality of scraping together sober days. I don't like the compulsive feeling of that either. No plans either way. Might reconsider on Tuesday and up the AF days to 45 and go from there.

[neophyte]

Abstinence Challenge

after switching on nyd and ive been mainly absitent, i think ive drunk 3 times with one of those times excessively. each time i didnt enjoy it particularly but i did so because of socail occasions and once because i couldnt sleep. each time i regretted it and felt no need to keep going, so my switch is presreved. though everytime i drank, i envisioned Freds warning with his white cat picture "careful when drinking when switched you can lose the switch if you drink everyday". losing the switch terrifies me. with decent sobriety time i feel so much better, my anxiety is much reduced and the paranoia that ruled my life before just seems ridiculous and i wonder "why did i think like that before?"

so ive decided to give a 90 day run at least and ive added antabus 250mg twice a week tuesdays and thursdays. adding it really helps when you have no cravings, there are no one off nights where you have nothing else to do or a social occasion where you can drink

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Just checkin in here. Poink, X, Dun, Neo, great job you guys!

Neo, glad you're adding AB as it's a great tool to stay on track.

[dundrinkn]

Abstinence Challenge

30 days yesterday. No plans to drink today. Feeling ok, but SE of aching hands and feet (zinging, shooting, pain actually) still keeping me up at night. Will start the Gabapentin this week and see if that helps. Will also lower BAC by 10mg every 7 days or so to see if I can find a spot with fewer SEs. I don't plan to test the drinking while tinkering with the meds. I am not inclined to drink, but also worry about that horrible disheartening feeling that comes when you take a drink after a long period of being AF. It feels like such a failure, and then starting again from day 1. I know this is left over from when I was drinking against my will, but it is still there.

[StuckinLA]

Abstinence Challenge

Samuel: Take 20mg and if you feel lightheaded and sleepy, it's real. But I'd just go ahead and assume it's not placebo - in my experience online pharmacies don't sell placebos.

Everyone else: you guys are kicking ass.

Also, just FYI, when trying to cut back and moderate, it's a good idea to only buy 2 cans of beer on the way home from the bar. Especially when you have to get up early the next day. That way you can't get yourself into too much trouble. Of course, that doesn't work as well when you *also* buy a 1/2 pint of whiskey - kind of defeats the whole point.

EDIT: I know this is the abstinence not the moderation thread. I just like you guys and didn't feel like posting anywhere else.

[Xadrian]

Abstinence Challenge

Although the day is far from over, this will be day 10 AF in a row for me, with hardly any effort.

I'm looking forward to all those great following days without the beast hanging around.

[neophyte]

Abstinence Challenge

Xadrian;1629047 wrote: Although the day is far from over, this will be day 10 AF in a row for me, with hardly any effort.

I'm looking forward to all those great following days without the beast hanging around.

i think im around 10 days too, ill have to consult my spreadsheet, like you its been easy, im going to see a show tomorrow and id normally have a beer or two but the AB will stop that.

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Neo- what kind of show, live music? If so, prepare for the possibility that it'll seem boring without alcohol. And/or that it might annoy you to be sober around so many drunk people. Hopefully that won't be the case but I found it was for me. I'm sure that's just how it feels in early sobriety and it'll be more fun to see live music later when I'm farther along. Anyway, just a thought in case you want to expect the possiblity...

[neophyte]

Abstinence Challenge

skullbabyland;1629122 wrote: Neo- what kind of show, live music? If so, prepare for the possibility that it'll seem boring without alcohol. And/or that it might annoy you to be sober around so many drunk people. Hopefully that won't be the case but I found it was for me. I'm sure that's just how it feels in early sobriety and it'll be more fun to see live music later when I'm farther along. Anyway, just a thought in case you want to expect the possiblity...

its the lion king musical which i been looking forward too anyway, so i should be ok. but yeah youre right in other circumstances probably a risky maneuver

[skullbabyland]

Abstinence Challenge

Oh cool, the lion king musical is fantastic.

[Poink]

Abstinence Challenge

Dun, X, Neo, glad to see all of you hanging in there. I'm sure you already know this, and are finding it out again, but every day away from alcohol is another day of healing. In less than 3 hours I will have 48 days and I feel so much better than I did to start this year. Back on 1/6 I posted:

"I'm in. Day 2. My goal is to get 28 days AF and then get a new psych evaluation. In the last few years I have had a couple of psychiatrists diagnose me as BP and am currently being treated for CD, but being an alcoholic it is always The Chicken or The Egg. Every time I go on Antidepressants and off of alcohol I feel worse than when I am drinking. I got to where I refused to take any ADs, but the last shrink talked me into Wellbutrin and that has helped a lot but I still drink more often than not.

I went to a shrink a couple of years ago who refused to treat me until I had 28 days sober, which was the old model. I've found some now who treat me anyway but shit's not getting any better, so I'm going to do it their way."

Well, "shits" gotten so much better that I haven't bothered making the new appointment yet. I will, but it's just not as important as it was. What's important is that I stay AF and keep healing and keep progressing.

And because of the meds, I have had zero cravings, but the "idea" entered my head a few days ago. It was a beautiful day and I took the motorcycle for a nice long ride for the first time in a long time, and it didn't seem right that I couldn't stop into a bar and have a couple of beers. I mean Bikes, Bars and Beer, right? I stopped for gas and had a Hot and Spicy V8. No regrets. Been out a couple of times since and it wasn't so bad, so this too shall pass.

But anyway, the ride sorta goes along with what Skull was referring to, situations that might make us uncomfortable. I haven't gone to a Sunday Brunch since New Years because I associate them way too much with drinking. And this ride was a situation that caught me completely by surprise. So I can't totally avoid those situations, but I have to be prepared to deal with them.

Anyway, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

[dundrinkn]

Abstinence Challenge

I think it's 33 days today. And I had a crazy thought this morning -- what if I just don't drink again? I am going down in dosage, and thought about going to 0 and just not testing the waters... Then I thought again. And now I am thinking of going to 100mg, and not drinking. If I do, I should be o.k. at that dosage. But I'm thinking of not even going there. That's today. We'll see what crazy-ass scheme my mind comes up with for tomorrow.

[neophyte]

Abstinence Challenge

day 12 here

went and saw the lion king, good show btw, they pulled off a lot of the stuff from the movie quite well for a musical e..g where mufasa is killed by the running of the herd, awesome.

my partner was drinking wine which cost 9$ a glass, they poured it into a plastic cup :P she was drinking it next to me with my water, all i could think was how rancid it smelt and i was much happier drinking my water.

compare that to the last musical i saw, Wicked, we had a water bottle filled with vodka and drank most of it. i dozed off and became fidgety 1/2 way through and wanted to get out. this time round, i enjoyed it more and got into the show more.

waking up each day my anxiety is clearing up, slowly. less and less negative thoughts and irrational fear, which as you may remember was a big problem for me going up in baclofen, but in reality i was messing around with benzos and phenibut when going up trying to sleep, it probably contributed. i think now my gaba system is finally getting in check.

reading a book on CBT and learning a lot, trying to incorporate that into my life, though im a bit lazy with it. this is the book if anyone is interested

Buy Change Your Thinking With Cbt: Overcome Stress, Combat Anxiety And Improve Your Life (Coping With Stress Book) by Sarah Edelman (9780091906955) Online at Bookworld with free shipping