It is my intention to stay on this drug for at least a couple of months, until I hopefully feel in a strong enough place to avoid alcohol without it.
I am quite nervous though - its going to signal a complete change of my entire life. A good change, no doubt about that - but I guess us humans tend to be a little resistant to change, whatever the end result.
I shall take the first tomorrow, when I'm sure I have no alcohol left in my system.
I imagine my new routine will enable me to fully participate in my new life, instead of just counting the hours until I pour my first drink.
I imagine being able to watch tv or read a book, without having to re-watch or re-read the following day - having been unable to focus with alcohol in my system
I imagine being able to go to the gym in the evening and getting fit, strong and slim - instead of slumping on the sofa, eating crap and drinking crap, getting more and more podgy every day
I imagine feeling confident that, when the phone rings, I can answer it and conduct a cohesive conversation - instead of letting it go to answerphone, for fear of slurring and talking rubbish
I imagine lying in bed, in my clean and snuggly pjs, having brushed my teeth and cleansed and moisturised my face - instead of waking up on the sofa at some ungodly hour, staggering up to bed and falling, fully clothed, into my pit.
Oh yeah, the real biggy - being able to check the 'sent' messages on my phone or facebook account without cringing at the utter crap I've sent or posted the night before!!
Please, if anyone reading this has had success with antabuse, and believes that this new, wonderful life is a possibility for me, I would be so grateful if you could share your experience. It would give me so much hope and I'd find it so motivating.
Thank you
Comment