Re-post Anna
Dear all,
I will try to explain why I get so emotional when it comes to Anna and why I get so angry when such articles show up.
I “met” Anna on her blog, which she kept from the day she started baclofen. It was in the same days that I started taking baclofen, so I often replied and we exchanged our experiences.
She blogged very detailed about her life, so very soon it felt like I knew her for years.
Although she published all those personal details freely on her blog, when I first published this post yesterday I forgot that she is not anonymous anymore and luckily some of you reminded me of that, so I temporarily removed my post.
Yesterday I had a very rotten day last night, I slept badly, because I was constantly thinking of Anna.
Although by reading the article gave me information of how she committed suicide, which I didn’t know before yesterday, it certainly did not promote a good mood.
I thought I had given it a place, but the article dragged everything up again and I could not help thinking about how terrible and alone she must have felt in the last moments of her life, being all by herself with her dark thoughts and the decision to take her own life.
But let me tell you somethin about Anna:
Anna was very enthousiastic about baclofen and also had a twitter account promoting baclofen.
It worked very well for her around 80 mg and in my opinion, based on her shared experiences, she had already switched.
Alcoholism was not Anna's only problem. She was anxious, had been suicidal before, she hated her job and there were several other issues.
But since on baclofen, she was very optimistic.
She had plans to change her life drastically. She wanted to quit her job and applied for a study of osteopathy, which she had wanted for a long time. She already was admitted at 2 institutes and was planning to sell her apartment to be able to pay for her so-wanted study.
"Xadrian commented on Day Eighty-Seven – Saturday 7 July 2012.
in response to clearhead247:
I found out yesterday that I have been offered a place on the four-year full-time degree at the osteopathy college I interviewed at a week ago. Strangely I didn’t feel excited, just relieved. I cancelled Monday’s interview at the other college as the one I got an offer from seems to be far more respected [...]"
A few months before her death, she had to undergo surgery for her bunions, which gave her some time-out from the job she hated so much.
Although she still had been drinking at 90 mgs, she was able to control it and for example left a half glass of wine on the table, which she never could before.
“clearhead247 commented on Day Twenty-Nine – Thursday 10 May 2012.
in response to Xadrian:
… Unlike you I have had the odd drink over the last few weeks and each time I had no desire to have any more. One example being last Wednesday when I drank half a glass of wine at a work event and LEFT the remainder (I am still in shock about that one!). But if you don't feel comfortable having any alcohol then don't drink. I feel completely indifferent to alcohol now. But if I feel like I may relapse then I will definitely stay away from it. I'm currently on 90mg of Baclofen a day and think this is my suppression dose. But I may go up to 100 or 110mg, depending on how I feel. I am not experiencing any side effects. Stay well, Anna”
At a certain moment, she didn't update her blog anymore, which she normally did every few days.
A few weeks later, the complete blog was deleted.
I was extremely worried and when I found her back on this forum a few days later, it turned out that she was panicking and it turned out she had titrated all the way up to 150 mgs, which she apparently had done very quickly, because a few weeks before she was at 90 mgs.
Clearly something had gone wrong while titrating up. My best guess is she titrated up too fast, while she probably already hit her switch around 100 mgs.
She had severe anxiety attacks and, although she also used other medication, she blamed it all on the baclofen and wanted to go off baclofen as soon as possible.
She had checked in at "The Priory" who told her they could get her off baclofen within 6 days.
I tried to convince her to not to go down so fast, because of the dangers.
The last thing she posted was that “The Priory” had indeed tapered off the baclofen within a few days. I urged her to have someone at her side at all times and told her she probably would have withdrawal effects with a peak after 3 days.
Then it went quiet. Until the day her parents posted on this forum that Anna had committed suicide.
That shocked me so much. She took her life on the same day I fucking predicted she would have the worse withdrawal effect.
I still believe that "The Priory" is responsible for her death to a great extent. Which stupid, idiotic doctor can someone let taper off from 150 mg baclofen within a few days and then let her unattended? Are those the people that are supposed to save lives?
Except for the fact that she’s not amongst us anymore, I guess the biggest frustration for me is that I saw her suicide coming and I was not able to help her, because she was apparently in a too dark place to accept any help and “The Priory” took her too an even darker place.
I only wanted you to know that the story they published is far from the whole story and certainly not the truth.
No overdose, but tapered down too fast, thanks to the “professionals” of "The Priory" who now trying to blame it on the baclofen.
One big truth in the article: She indeed loved her parents very much.
Sadly, she deleted her blog and I only have fragments left from my subscription of "following" her, but I will post the threads on MWO regarding her anxiety and her suicide below:
Let her not be forgotten.
Rest in peace, my friend Anna
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_ekkdJpHY[/video]]Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me George Michael & Elton John - YouTube
Comment