Now that we are not drunk . . .

[RedThread12]

Hiya', all: Tell me if I'm wrong, but I think I am noticing something "different," and somewhat exclusive to those of us who are taking and making posts regarding the journey with baclofen.

If not intoxicated . . . what????

Seems to be a dilemma more common here, with baclofentists, than anywhere else. Tiptronic was an "early adapter" whose story includes the next step - living. Without alcohol. There are some long-time abstainers here, whose wisdom is, and has been, fundamental and inspiring. But when the desire to drink against one's will dissolves, it seems some are left with what to do.

I don't have a remedy for anyone but myself . . . but it might be good to hear about ideas for filling the gap. Otherwise, I will organize those feeling directionless toward a total overthrow of the medical format for drunks!!!!

[spiritwolf333]

Now that we are not drunk . . .

Hi Red -what a great thread topic. I am looking very forward to hearing replies to this topic. Now that everything is not a fire drill -now what?.

[Xadrian]

Now that we are not drunk . . .

Do something you like, liked in the past (excluding drinking or things that get you in trouble) or do something you always wanted, but never did.

Visit some friends or family you never did, because you were to drunk to drive.

Go sporting, take a hike in the woods, go studying, read a book, start a plant nursery, go skydiving, take a holiday to somewhere you never been to, collect stamps, go on a day trip, go fitnessing, learn how to cook a decent meal instead of going to the McBlubber, start knitting sweaters, restore a car (warning: that took me 7 years of my spare time), get a hunting license, take some courses, play your bagpipes, go rock climbing, go to the opera, get a masters degree in quantum mechanics, do some voluntary jobs, buy a dog and let him out, paint your house, go swimming.

Do I need to give more examples?
Do what not-drunk people do for diversion, as long as it distracts you.
Maybe you can find someone else (preferably a non-drunk) to go with you, so you have double fun.

[Lo0p]

Now that we are not drunk . . .

This is what I did:

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...nds-42543.html

[Cinders]

Now that we are not drunk . . .

Hi, I hope I can poke in here even though my sobriety did not come from Baclofen.

But, the topic is applicable to all who become AF.

In AA they want you to get involved in "give back" work, my counselor wants me to get involved in doing those things I yearn to do and hopefully find something I love. Something I love more than I loved drinking.

I think most people have found that not drinking is not enough.

Learning to live life fully and finding things that have true meaning, that is where we need to go.

Give back is also good, as it involves us in doing things to help other people. I am working on that aspect of my life, too.

I think it will be fun to become the person I want to be as I learn who she is. I look forward to that journey.

I hope everyone here finds that for themselves, too.

Love,
Cindi

[RedThread12]

Now that we are not drunk . . .

Thanks, for dropping in, Cindi. And for so very much more. I started and have pretty much stayed over here in meds, but know and very much appreciate that you are still here - in full meaning - you are alive, and you continue to participate on MWO. You amazed me . . . A little, because of the extraordinary lengths you had to pursue, but primarily because you had a JOB!! Way beyond my capacity.

I was in the program for a year or so, and think Bill W was very close to something very important when he called alcoholism a "spiritual disease." It's easy to make a list:"Who I Will Be; and "What I Will Do" post drinking. I think avfew folks triedbthat, w/out much luck. I deeply appreciate and respect Tip's sharing that it took some time with a therapist, for him.

Your suggestions are in an excellent vein, as well. Personally, I am deeply underwater with "what to do." But most of it comes from professional choices I made long before I knew I was a "real" alcoholic.

I may have started this thread re baclofen, - w/all input appreciated - simply to mark a pretty remarkable shift of tone in a lot of conversations. People still struggle with baclofen, but it seems both wonderful and kind of quirky to find - on a forum for drunks - a lot of "what now."

It's AWESOME, because it means people are free from the lash of AL; but worth noting, IMHO. I really do want to know what people ARE doing . . .not ideas for what to do. I suspect it couldvbe an impressive array. Or not. :H and your information might be helpful for the next one out!

[Cinders]

Now that we are not drunk . . .

Red,

Your words are very kind and you make me feel good about myself. Despite my terrible history of drunkeness while on MWO.

My counselor told me that I need to take things in baby steps. Not try to just jump in feet first to new things.

Remember, our minds and bodies are healing as we stay sober. How I feel today, the symptoms I experience, etc, will be different than how I feel a year from now.

As for specifics:
[list type=decimal][*]I am taking a class in SQL development at a local trade school.[*]I am starting a cleaning and painting business with my children.[*]I attend AA as often as possible.I am looking at sewing some curtains for the house.I am cooking and baking with new abandon and joy.[/list type=decimal]
I cannot go back to my old kind of work. I flew out of town every week. My mother has dementia and is in a memory care unit a few miles from me. I am her care giver and visitor, etc.

I also do not want to get back into the highly technical work I did before. At some clients, I worked 80-100 hours a week in order to get them back on track with their systems. My company billed me at ~$300.00 an hour, while I was paid salary, at less than 1/6 of that billable. While clients were extremely appreciative of the work I did for them, especially if it saved their butts, once I was gone, that was it. Perhaps an email to the VP, etc.

I am too old for that kind of stress anymore.

One other major difference in my attitude. I got to where I was in my company by incredible hard work and my saying was, "Failure is not an option."

Today, I realize that if something I have taken on will be destructive to me or my family, failure is the only option.

I hope this helps and I do hope all who attain sobriety, no matter how, find that a sober life allows us to follow our dreams and goals. I could not do that in the last few years of my alcoholism. I was seldom present.

Cindi

[RedThread12]

Now that we are not drunk . . .

Thanks, for dropping in, Cindi. And for so very much more. I started and have pretty much stayed over here in meds, but know and very much appreciate that you are still here - in full meaning - you are alive, and you continue to participate on MWO. You amazed me . . . A little, because of the extraordinary lengths you had to pursue, but primarily because you had a JOB!! Way beyond my capacity.

I was in the program for a year or so, and think Bill W was very close to something very important when he called alcoholism a "spiritual disease." It's easy to make a list:"Who I Will Be; and "What I Will Do" post drinking. I think avfew folks triedbthat, w/out much luck. I deeply appreciate and respect Tip's sharing that it took some time with a therapist, for him.

Your suggestions are in an excellent vein, as well. Personally, I am deeply underwater with "what to do." But most of it comes from professional choices I made long before I knew I was a "real" alcoholic.

I may have started this thread re baclofen, - w/all input appreciated - simply to mark a pretty remarkable shift of tone in a lot of conversations. People still struggle with baclofen, but it seems both wonderful and kind of quirky to find - on a forum for drunks - a lot of "what now."

It's AWESOME, because it means people are free from the lash of AL; but worth noting, IMHO. I really do want to know what people ARE doing . . .not ideas for what to do. I suspect it could be an impressive array. Or not. :H and your information might be helpful for the next one out!

[Otter]

Now that we are not drunk . . .

What we are doing is digging out. One of the things I don't like about the UK is that the houses have no basements. With a compulsive horder who has now woken up to a mess and moving house, we are dragging out several tons of crap from under out stairs and our loft. It is migrating towards our garage and garden shed with stops in the hallway, kitchen and garden on the way. Some of it doesn't make it and is quickly shipped off to the local tip.

Over much protest from myself much of this "crap" is making it into boxes and will ultimately take a cruise through the Mediterranean at great expense to fill another house up to the eaves. Since Cyprus was part of the UK for some years, the houses there also have no basements.

Anyway, a few years ago this would not even have been possible. A new life in the sun? Hmmm.... maybe things can get better. One does not have the overwhelming sense of doom that one had a few years ago when there was no answer, just a train wreck, rock bottom, yada, yada yada....

[little beagle]

Now that we are not drunk . . .

What am I doing with my time now that I'm not drinking.
1. Working more
2. Gardening ( my garden is actually alive this summer)
3. Playing with my dogs.
4. Sleeping at night again.
5. Laughing at life.
6. Listening to my daughter and remembering what she tells me.
7. Finding someone to say something positive to every day.
8. Tackling that home "to do" list I put off forever.
9. Driving places in the evenings when I need to go somewhere
10. Loving myself again.

[Xadrian]

Now that we are not drunk . . .

After the baclofen kicked in, I watched the complete series of Star Trek Voyager and Deep Space Nine.
That kept me busy in the evening for several months.

What I do a lot lately is cleaning up the mess. In my house, in my office, in my work load, in my storage, in the garden and also in my head. I throw a lot stuff away that I probably never have to use again, while using a lot of space.

I also try to repair as much as possible and try to finish all the unfinished things that I never came to do.
I also try to keep new projects out of my life until things are cleaned up a little.

For the rest, I try to fine tune the balance between work, building my house, being a family man, relaxing/diversion and sleep/rest. That took me over a year, but I think I almost have it.

In the beginning of September, I will take a vacation for the second time in 10 years.

[kronkcarr]

Now that we are not drunk . . .

Thanks, RedThread for this thread!

In my 7 months on baclofen I've started cleaning my home and yard. I'm growing some small trees and weeding--2 things I never imagined I'd do. I'm caring about my home and yard.

I took a trip to see friends/colleagues in Switzerland and this is the first visit out of 5 where I wasn't obsessed about how to drink more without them noticing! I also stuck to a budget and didn't use credit there. I'm translating a study they've done from Italian to English--a first. When I return to Switzerland I'm going to do a tandem jump and flight off the mountain above town.

I, too, am hearing what my son says and doesn't say and I can hold him to his chores better.

I'm getting out of debt. I'm going to the dentist and eye doctor. Self care is a good feeling. I'm not doing optional things I don't want to. I'm feeling good. I'm reading a lot of nonfiction and feel on the edge of something new.

Thanks again. I feel happy just writing what I'm doing.

[spiritwolf333]

Now that we are not drunk . . .

At three months, I find myself:
1. Continuing to clean up the wreckage of my past -and baclofen allows me to this without falling apart.
2. Reading and studying more about baclofen and alcoholism.
3. Becoming more involved in the lives of others -and really caring about them.
4. Looking for a new career
5. Rediscovering all the old things I use to love but told myself I no longer enjoyed. Imagine that; all those former fun, great activities interfered with my drinking.
6. FINDING WAYS TO BE GRATEFUL EVERY DAY FOR THIS NEW ALCOHOL FREE LIFE -and really spend time thinking about these things -not just giving lip service.

[Cassander]

Now that we are not drunk . . .

Cinders;1533039 wrote: ...

One other major difference in my attitude. I got to where I was in my company by incredible hard work and my saying was, "Failure is not an option."

Today, I realize that if something I have taken on will be destructive to me or my family, failure is the only option.

I hope this helps ...

Cindi

Red, I will see if I can write something down about what I am doing which is coherent...

In the meantime, I want to key off something Cindi said which is so important...for the younger ones around here...if you will only listen...

When I joined the law firm that I stayed at for the larger portion of my career (14 years) the chairman took me aside. We sat down for about an hour and he told me some of the great history of the firm, some of the triumphs in court and the big deals. He was very proud of the place. And then he said,

"Cass, just remember that the firm always comes first. We will ask a lot of you. Sacrifice here, and it will pay off. We will take care of you. The firm comes first, before family, community, friends. Don"t forget."

You might think I was talking to Gordon Gekko...it was about the same year as that movie...1988.

I want to say, unequivocally, with the benefit of hindsight, but with absolute moral certainty, that he was dead wrong.

You and the one you love and your family (nuclear and extended) come first, and if you are asked to do something on the job that jeopardizes your health or your relationships at home or the integrity of your family...just don't do it.

Its not only that a law firm or company can never "take care of you" because that is not what they are about, it is that our fundamental health and well-being is intertwined with the ones we love and are a part of. If we wreck these relationships, a lot of the problems that we read about here on mwo are the inevitable result. And, money is not the answer.

For me, since I quit drinking in 2008, a big part of my journey has been to rebuild the relationships I abused when I was stupidly believing the Chairman's advice and self-medicating the resulting pain I felt with martinis every night.

Did I say it right, Cindi?

Cassander

[gmc38609]

Now that we are not drunk . . .

I am struggling to be honest, I am still doing the same things but just nit drinking and its boring which I guess is why I started drinking in the first place. I gave up for 6 weeks twice last year and started drinking again for that reason.I am on AB this time hoping that after a couple of months I will start to do new things and break the cycle