My Bac journey

[zampa75]

People who have been successful on Bac - and it's great to find out they are so many! - suggested I start my own Bac journey thread. I decided to go for it b/c I need ANYTHING to keep my hopes high, to believe I'll be one of them, of you, till I finally start feeling the change happen - can't wait can't wait can't wait!

Got prescribed 10mg 3 times a day. Doc prescribed me a 90 pill bottle, so I guess he would want me to stay at this level for a month, which I am planning of not doing 'cos I've read you must go up in order to hit the switch. I am gathering as much info as possible on titrating schedules , though it looks like a good rule of thumb is to add 10 mg every fourth day. And by the way, any feedback in this respect welcome. I will tell my doc about increasing the dosage, however, though I am afraid he might think that I'm putting myself at his level and get pissed off - he does not look like the type who would, but we all know how many doctors are... It is also kind of weird that many posted here that their doc - when they have one - would put together a schedule to go up too, right from the start, and mine did not mention it all...

So here's my progress.
Day 1 - 10 mg at 2.30 pm, when I got the prescription.
10 mg around 7 pm.
Did not take the third as it was late in the day already, and I did not wanna risk not sleeping. I actually take Tylenol pm quite often to fall asleep, 'cos the longer I stay awake, the more I drink. Took one last night too to prevent myself from drinking the beer in the fridge as well after 2 bottles of wine and a martini before those.
No side effect whatsoever, though I suspect it may just be 'cos the level of med in me is still very very low.

Day 2 - 10 mg at 12.30 pm when I woke up.
10 mg at 3.45 pm.
Can't bring myself to wait the supposed 8 hrs in between, but I see many don't either. Guess I will have to set the clock in the morning so I can wake up early and manage to take the 3 dosages with enough time in between.
Only minor side effect is sleepiness in the afternoon - which is right now - but nothing compared to how Topa used to almost knock me out. My mouth and throat are also parched, but that might be b/c of last night's drinking, as it usually is.

Will keep posting. Can't wait to hit the switch and kill the damn beast that has made my life miserable for years. The day I feel the change in me will be the first day of light in a long long time, the start of a new life. I'll scream it to the world. Can't wait to be reborn. lease::angel:

[skullbabyland]

My Bac journey

Welcome to the forums, to your progress thread, and to your journey to sobriety, Zampa :welcome:

A couple thoughts-

Some people dose 3 times a day, which is what is sounds like you are going for. Some dose 4 or 5 times a day. I myself only dose twice- a morning dose (taken anywhere from 8 to noon) and an afternoon dose (around 4-6 pm). I take the larger dose in the morning- for example, when I was at 90mg/day, I took 50mg in the morning and 40 in the afternoon. The reason for this, and for not taking a third nighttime dose at all, is because a major bac SE for me is insomnia, which I want to minimize, so I don't take bac any later than this (and that goes for coffee too).

Also, sounds like we have something in common as far as using a sleep aid to head off a late night drinking binge. I myself use melatonin(10mg) coupled with benadryl (50-100mg) and will take it as early as 8 or 9 pm, knowing that it'll hit me around 11 or so. If I don't take it, not only will the insomnia be bad, but I'll just want to stay up til dawn drinking.

One other note to a newbie- keep posting your progress here, even if it seems like replies can be slow coming. Sometimes people sort of float in and out of MWO or they just get busy. I say this because when I first started out, I'd feel blue when I'd get little to no responses on my thread. Just rest assured that people are reading and supporting you, and the replies will come

[zampa75]

My Bac journey

Thanks Skull!!

Only one thing: you say that if you don't go to bed you'll just want to stay up drinking till dawn...Hasn't Bac taken away that sort of desire, together with the cravings??

[spiritwolf333]

My Bac journey

Hi Zampa -sounds like you are ready for the BAC life. 116 days into my journey and I am more than amazed. I did the 10mgs schedule as well -all the way up to 180 and then a little more. Most all of my SE-s have subsided. Hope your BAC journey works well for you. Will look forward to seeing your progress.

[skullbabyland]

My Bac journey

zampa75;1536614 wrote: Thanks Skull!!

Only one thing: you say that if you don't go to bed you'll just want to stay up drinking till dawn...Hasn't Bac taken away that sort of desire, together with the cravings??

The answer to this question is "somewhat", as I am only a couple months into my bac treatment. I have not hit my switch yet but I feel it getting closer. My desire to drink is diminished, but not yet entirely gone. See my thread for more details if you want to.

[zampa75]

My Bac journey

Day 3
10 mg x 3 every four hours

Day 4 - today
Going up for the first time.
20 mg at 10.30
Just took another 10, 4 hrs later, and will take 10 later tonight.

I can definitely tell my anxiety is going up. I managed to keep it under control yesterday - needless to say with what. Today it's a bit worse. But I refuse to take any Xanax b/c it is manageable - so far. Very dry mouth. And nausea, but manageable too...So far.

What is your feedback on anxiety on Baclofen? From what I've read, it seems it goes up at the start but then the med has the opposite effect and calms you down... Did I get it right?

[Xadrian]

My Bac journey

zampa75;1537154 wrote: Day 3
10 mg x 3 every four hours

Day 4 - today
Going up for the first time.
20 mg at 10.30
Just took another 10, 4 hrs later, and will take 10 later tonight.

Wouldn't it be better to take the first dose at wake-up, the second at 3 or 4 PM and the last dose before going to bed, to spread it as evenly as possible over the day?

[kronkcarr]

My Bac journey

Zampa,

The baclofen should help with your anxiety.

[zampa75]

My Bac journey

Weird question. It must be a placebo effect if,only after four days on Bac, drinking does not feel so good already, right?? It must be all in my mind, like it was when I thought the hypno CDs were working after just two days- they were not, at all, of course. I went back to my usual self in no time. So I'll be me again when the right curcumstances present themselves this time too, I guess...But it's really weird that, last night, I was out for drinks and dinner with husband and he wanted to keep drinking before dinner and I was really uncomfortable with that. It bothered me- not that he wanted to drink, of course, but the drinking itself, like I wanted to walk away from it. I felt the way he must be feeling when I want to keep going and I really shouldn't. Of course, I just kept going over dinner and got shit faced, out of habit- even if we had gone home after drinks, for dinner, I would have. But it was a very peculiar feeling, the one I had earlier. So new it was quite shocking, to the point that he asked me, half-joking, if the pills were working already. Then tonight we had friends over for dinner, and after the first glass I was drinking much much slower than usual, so much so that I realized a couple of times I almost forgot my glass while talking to them, and when they- not I!- refilled my glass I was surprised I was not obsessing about how to get more grape juice in it w/o their noticing my fast pace. Right now I am posting after they left, with a glass next to me out of pure habit - or the need to get the 'high' I haven't got all night long. Which I know won't happen by now - it was a filling dinner. I'd need vodka to get there. But I am still refilling my glass with wine.

I know it MUST be a placebo thing, a psychological thing in my brain. It just must be- been there many times, the CDs just the most recent example. It's just very peculiar how I felt tonight, and even more yesterday.

So why am I posting this if I know it's a placebo effect? Just would like to know what you all think. Also bc what I most want is to reach the switch, the indifference level, which is nothing like what I felt these 2 nights. I still wanted to drink, very much so. I just reacted to it in very unusual ways. But I did want to. And kept going and I am keeping going right now. So this can't be it... But what is it then?

I will make an effort not to drink unless it's totally compelling, starting tomorrow- I see much better right now the stupidity of keeping drinking anyway when it does not give you any kind of rush. So I get that part...

[Xadrian]

My Bac journey

zampa75;1537688 wrote: Weird question.
It must be a placebo effect if,only after four days on Bac, drinking does not feel so good already, right?? I know it MUST be a placebo thing, a psychological thing in my brain. It just must be- been there many times, the CDs just the most recent example. It's just very peculiar how I felt tonight, and even more yesterday.

So why am I posting this if I know it's a placebo effect? Just would like to know what you all think.

I wouldn't be too sure.

A few days after starting baclofen, it took me twice as much time to drink the beers as usual. I still sometimes managed to drink 10 or so, but it cost me twice the "normal" time.

But I still kept drinking all the way up. And also every day, instead of "normally" every third day or so.

You probably will notice some changes inbetween, like the drinks don't taste as good as usual, or they take longer to drink than usual, but the real change begins after you reach your "switch".

Keep taking the pills and keep us updated.

[skullbabyland]

My Bac journey

Agree with Xadrian- it could be placebo, but it's just as likely that your'e experiencing some promising early signs that baclofen will work well for you!

It sounds like what you're experiencing is commonly known in naltrexone/TSM-speak as the "honeymoon period"- a noticeable and almost instant disinterest in drink. I've heard of some bac users experiencing the same effect. The common wisdom, I believe, is that for those people it's a good sign that the medicine will work well.

Keep in mind that you may very well experience a roller-coaster-like increase/reduction/increase in drinking. Or, as Xadrian says, you may keep drinking steadily up to the switch. Everyone's different. I only bring it up to remind you not to get discouraged or hopeless feeling if/when your drinking increases or you experience the odd "spike"- keep taking the medicine slowly and steadily and notice the changes over the longer term.

All in all, your experience is a great early sign, Zampa

There's also been written much here about what baclofen WON'T help us with- the habitual behavior of drinking that we're all so used to that will have to be broken by our own will and logic. I'd encourage you to read up on some of those threads, too.

[zampa75]

My Bac journey

Xan and Skull,
thank you so much for your feedback!! So appreciated, guys :thanks:

Latest update: it's the second day I've been taking 40 mg, and, apart from my aggressive depression/self-loathing/ beating down on me/failing self-analysis, I was so hopeful b/c of the last two nights' state of mind..But... Not that tonight was a total downer - no it wasn't- but it was not as promising.

Went out for dinner again - no, we are not rich, just that husband has been on vacation for four weeks, his allotted vac time in a year, and I work on regular college schedule, so between mid May and mid August I am very much off ( not as great as it may sound, when you are an addict, and/or just a highly unstable person).

I drank at a normal pace at the start ( the 'before' drink)... But found myself sipping the wine quite slowly over dinner, actually trying to increase the pace as I ate b/c I knew that once my belly was full, I wouldn't 'feel it' as much.

Now here's my point: I wanted to feel it. And I hadn't wanted to last night, or the night before. But even if I was going slower than usual,tonight, I found myself thinking that I had felt the warm/rush feeling you do at the start - the damn feeling that got us hooked- and wanted to make it last. Not something I felt the last two nights.

I wanted to feel that way -not real bad as usual, but somehow strong.

My drinking slowly at first: I am not sure if it was me or the timing of the food. It would take half a page to explain this to those who, unlike me, drink and eat - or not eat - regardless of the timing of either. But the two things go very much together for me...So did I drink more slowly b/c of some change in me or b/c of the food timing?

.. Here I am, not sure if tonight validated the previous two or not...

So... I don't know... Another little positive sign, even if not as positive, or just a coincidence -that is if you guys manage to make sense of what I said??

(I have a light beer next to me while I post, not the usual extra bottle of red... Does it mean anything? Not sure... Did not feel the urge to stop at 7-11 to get the extra wine on the way home... But I did know there was light beer in the fridge... But I really do not like light beer. Not.)

[zampa75]

My Bac journey

Xan and Skull,
thank you so much for your feedback!! So appreciated, guys :thanks:

Latest update: it's the second day I've been taking 40 mg, and, apart from my aggressive depression/self-loathing/ beating down on me/failing self-analysis, I was so hopeful b/c of the last two nights' state of mind..But... Not that tonight was a total downer - no it wasn't- but it was not as promising.

Went out for dinner again - no, we are not rich, just that husband has been on vacation for four weeks, his allotted vac time in a year, and I work on regular college schedule, so between mid May and mid August I am very much off ( not as great as it may sound, when you are an addict, and/or just a highly unstable person).

I drank at a normal pace at the start ( the 'before' drink)... But found myself sipping the wine quite slowly over dinner, actually trying to increase the pace as I ate b/c I knew that once my belly was full, I wouldn't 'feel it' as much.

Now here's my point: I wanted to feel it. And I hadn't wanted to last night, or the night before. But even if I was going slower than usual,tonight, I found myself thinking that I had felt the warm/rush feeling you do at the start - the damn feeling that got us hooked- and wanted to make it last. Not something I felt the last two nights.

I wanted to feel that way -not real bad as usual, but somehow strong.

My drinking slowly at the start of dinner: I am not sure if it was me or the timing of the food. It would take half a page to explain this to those who, unlike me, drink and eat - or not eat - regardless of the timing of either. But the two things go very much together for me...So did I drink more slowly b/c of some change in me or b/c of the food timing?

.. Here I am, not sure if tonight validated the previous two or not...

So... I don't know... Another little positive sign, even if not as positive, or just a coincidence -that is if you guys manage to make sense of what I said??

(I have a light beer next to me while I post, not the usual extra bottle of red... Does it mean anything? Not sure... Did not feel the urge to stop at 7-11 to get the extra bottle of wine on the way home... But I did know there was light beer in the fridge... But I really do not like light beer. Not.)

[Colin]

My Bac journey

zampa75;1538003 wrote:
Now here's my point: I wanted to feel it. And I hadn't wanted to last night, or the night before. But even if I was going slower than usual,tonight, I found myself thinking that I had felt the warm/rush feeling you do at the start - the damn feeling that got us hooked- and wanted to make it last. Not something I felt the last two nights.

I wanted to feel that way -not real bad as usual, but somehow strong.

Coincidence? Yesterday evening I drank two beers and a whisky and completely missed out on the hit/rush/warm feeling. I missed it in a nostalgic wistful way and felt sad that the feeling was absent.

I've been on baclofen for the last fifteen months. The attraction of alcohol has not yet completely disappeared but I no longer feel compelled to chase my dragon.

[bleep]

My Bac journey

It's not coincidence, and I'd say it's not placebo. It's good that you are aware of what your body is saying, the trick now is to listen to it a little more...