I've been an alcoholic for many years and in and out of treatment numerous times in the States and in Europe(The infamous Priory). I've tried anti-depressants, Naltrexone, Topamax, AA, NA, outpatient care, acupuncture, yoga/meditation, therapy, blah blah...Aside from the medications, they all work great for a couple of months, if that. The medications I didn't care for. EVERYONE around me expects me to be 100% abstinent from AL. If I drink I'm a total fuck up (excuse my language).
About a month ago I started doing more research and came across Baclofen and this site. I'm SO HOPEFUL! Of course any of my family that I mention it to, they just roll their eyes and think that I'm just looking for any excuse in the book. Although, my fiance is HIGHLY supportive in this certain therapy.
So, last week I started Baclofen thanks to the very kind and generous(and scattered) Dr. L. I started at 5 mg in the morning for the first 4 days. Today is day 5 and will be taking another 5 mg in the evening for the next 3 days. Next week will be 10/10/10 and will go up 20mg a week there after as long as SE's are tolerable of course. So far ZERO side effects but it's such a minuscule amount.
I normally take a handful of OTC sleep aid at night. However, Dr. L said that the mixture is no good and prescribed me Xanax. The alcoholic in me was jumping around in joy (whoohoo I get to get fucked up). But the sober Mandie is timid as I've seen first hand what Xanax can do(held a girl while she seized out). From my understanding it does the same thing alcohol does to us, so would it be counter-productive? I promised myself I would only take 1 in the evening as needed for sleep. Although, I have 120 for the month. (Again, that unwanted joy) I did take one last night, I actually woke up before 10 (I'm a non-working depressive) and am feeling quite refreshed and chipper this AM.
Also note, I'm attempting this new therapy completely abstinent. I will tell you, it is soooo difficult. Two days ago was my first day alone since my last bender and detox and I sat and cried for hours just wanting so badly to walk to that store and buy me my lovely liquid heaven(hell). It was quite the struggle inside. I can't wait for that indifference, and if it doesn't come, well then I can't say I didn't try.
Today is 13 days sober.
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