Baclofen and Xanax newbie

[neophyte]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Mandiekinz;1539392 wrote: Thanks Neophite, that's a good rule to go by. I've only been taking 1 (.25mg) at night. I shall try and break up the days so it's not a necessity. Great work on getting off them! I've seen the agony of friends trying to get off of them. Scary, scary stuff. How are you doing today with your alcoholism/addiction?

Thanks Mandikinz, I woudn't wish a benzo addiction on my worst enemy. I see some doctors prescribe it like candy. Most people don't even realise that benzos are worse than heroin to get off and that you can seize up and die.

As to me, I just started on bac, today is my third day. So far i feel a bit more relaxed and im not counting down until its 6pm to smash the booze as much. Maybe its just placebo at this stage, but im hopeful. I also have an addiction to codeine which i hope bac will help out with. Using bac for opiate addition doesn't really seem to be all that common. If it works its just icing on the cake, alcohol is the real nasty beast i want off my back at the moment.

Hoping your'e doing well yourself

[Mandiekinz]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Thank you Rangiatea, I've definitely gathered from many people's posted experience on here that the titration and can really make or break the experience of Baclofen. Being abstinent through this gives me a really good keen sense on what's really going on with myself mentally and physically. So far this morning after taking my first dose of 10mg, I can say my eyes want to close at random. haha Sleeepy.

Neophyte, so glad to hear you're on board and ready to kick that demon in the ass! Have you tapered off the codeine?? I hear ya on the "placebo" effect. Even if it is a placebo effect...that's way worth it if it keeps us from trouble! What dosage are you on at this time?? I hope it's smooth sailing for ya from here. We can do this together!

[neophyte]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Mandiekinz;1539968 wrote:
Neophyte, so glad to hear you're on board and ready to kick that demon in the ass! Have you tapered off the codeine?? I hear ya on the "placebo" effect. Even if it is a placebo effect...that's way worth it if it keeps us from trouble! What dosage are you on at this time?? I hope it's smooth sailing for ya from here. We can do this together!

Demon ass kicking is in order I havent tapered off the codeine, im on about 240mg a day split in two doses. I got this habit about 10 years ago trying to self medicate my anxiety with drugs. Then i went to alcohol to do the same thing. I'm on 50mg of bac now, side effects so far is that i snore at night. Other than that, the effects are pleasant, i feel more confident and calm, almost like diazepam but without a lot of the negative effects and euphoria.

I'm probably in a unique position here in that i have this specific dual addiction, im blogging the results which ill post here soon once i get it looking right.

how are you travelling? what dosage are you on, how long have you been on bac and what is your history of alcoholism? Sorry if thats a bit intrusive, but im fascinated to hear peoples stories.

[Mandiekinz]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Arghh, I know how it goes with trying to fix one problem with another problem. Sounds like you've got quite the road to travel with such a complex situation. How slow of a titration are you on to get off the Cod. or are you planning to sit where you're at with it for awhile?? My hearts with you for the opiate addiction...I just can't imagine how long and painful of a road it is to get away from them. I've seen it numerous times. As for your BAC, 50mg in 3 days? You're a trooper! and only snoring? At least you don't have to hear it.

I just bumped up to 30mg today and have been on it for a week. I was on 10mg for half of last week. Today is much different as after each initial onset of 10mg doses..it seems my eyes want to stay closed when I blink and roll to the back of my head. My body is just soooo relaxed. After about 30 mins- 1hr, I seem to snap out of it with the help with some coffee and keeping myself moving.

I'm quite the open book, thanks to the help of several rehabs, so any and all questions are welcome. I actually cross addicted to alcohol also. I drank and smokes and partied a lot as a very young teen. Smoked rock for the first time at 14. Got into some blow, psychedelics, k, rolls, whatever I could get my hands on and pretty much partied 5-6 days a week non-stop from age 18-20. Of course I drank through those days but was never able to feel it. I moved away from the Chicago scene to Italy, so I began only drinking since I didn't have any hook ups. And I drank a lot. Especially with all the sailors. I was drinking about a fifth of vodka a day...and most times it was fun but then my attitude got shittier and shittier and I started bringing drama and trouble wherever I went. My first rehab was when I was 21 but was really only doing it for my ex at the time. Now I'm 25 and it's well known through my family and friends that I'm an alcoholic and I cannot drink without going destructive, I've been quitting drinking then having to sneak it when I get the urge and I end up binge drinking. So, I drink less than I used to only due to having to hide it but it's still just as bad as it were drinking daily. Destruction is still destruction. And everyone remembers it except for myself. I'm getting too old to be putting my loved ones through hell all the time like a bratty teenager. and I'm getting too old to up and move after every time I stir up chaos. I'm pretty hopeful for this Bac, if anything to help give me some breathing room for myself to truly find a sense of self worth.

I'd really like to hear your story as well...and am really looking forward to your blog!

[neophyte]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Mandiekinz;1540084 wrote: Arghh, I know how it goes with trying to fix one problem with another problem. Sounds like you've got quite the road to travel with such a complex situation. How slow of a titration are you on to get off the Cod. or are you planning to sit where you're at with it for awhile?? My hearts with you for the opiate addiction...I just can't imagine how long and painful of a road it is to get away from them. I've seen it numerous times. As for your BAC, 50mg in 3 days? You're a trooper! and only snoring? At least you don't have to hear it.

I just bumped up to 30mg today and have been on it for a week. I was on 10mg for half of last week. Today is much different as after each initial onset of 10mg doses..it seems my eyes want to stay closed when I blink and roll to the back of my head. My body is just soooo relaxed. After about 30 mins- 1hr, I seem to snap out of it with the help with some coffee and keeping myself moving.

I'm quite the open book, thanks to the help of several rehabs, so any and all questions are welcome. I actually cross addicted to alcohol also. I drank and smokes and partied a lot as a very young teen. Smoked rock for the first time at 14. Got into some blow, psychedelics, k, rolls, whatever I could get my hands on and pretty much partied 5-6 days a week non-stop from age 18-20. Of course I drank through those days but was never able to feel it. I moved away from the Chicago scene to Italy, so I began only drinking since I didn't have any hook ups. And I drank a lot. Especially with all the sailors. I was drinking about a fifth of vodka a day...and most times it was fun but then my attitude got shittier and shittier and I started bringing drama and trouble wherever I went. My first rehab was when I was 21 but was really only doing it for my ex at the time. Now I'm 25 and it's well known through my family and friends that I'm an alcoholic and I cannot drink without going destructive, I've been quitting drinking then having to sneak it when I get the urge and I end up binge drinking. So, I drink less than I used to only due to having to hide it but it's still just as bad as it were drinking daily. Destruction is still destruction. And everyone remembers it except for myself. I'm getting too old to be putting my loved ones through hell all the time like a bratty teenager. and I'm getting too old to up and move after every time I stir up chaos. I'm pretty hopeful for this Bac, if anything to help give me some breathing room for myself to truly find a sense of self worth.

I'd really like to hear your story as well...and am really looking forward to your blog!

I think ill sit where i am with codeine, i'm hoping that the desire to use it will fade away and then i can reduce it slowly, 10% every 3 days or so and i will experience no withdrawal symptoms. Done this a few times when i have some motivation like an overseas holiday. Usually i need to up my drinking to counter the lack of codeine or take benzos. I always just feel like i need to get fucked up in some way. Generally though im always functional, hold down a job, gf looking to buy a house.

My story is that i always had social anxiety, or some manifestation of it, i got really into drugs when i was 17. like you, lots of party drugs, mdma mainly. Then in my mid 20s i was drinking daily, im 29 now. I tried to come off numerous times, tapering off with benzos, but i would always resume drinking.

heres the blog, i want to format it so that the information is a bit easier to read. It's mainly just walls of text at the moment and im not the most elegant writer either, but i mainly just want the facts out there since i think my cross addiction situation is unique. I'm keeping detailed logs of feelings and exact amounts of substances used in spread sheets as well.

My journey with Baclofen to cure my addiction of Alcohol

[Mandiekinz]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Neo, that was a great read! I thoroughly enjoyed it and feel as though I can relate with you at many times.

I stopped going to school at 12 due to social problems/anxiety/depression. I was always an outcast and felt different than everyone else. Docs had me on all sorts of different medicinal cocktails. Ultimately, the addict in me would just crush them up and snort them hoping for some kind of high and I was never responsible enough to take them properly. Even in my 20's of being on and off Zoloft. I never noticed them helping and due to my drinking, I wasn't responsible enough to take them daily. I have a bottle half full from a year ago still sitting in the cabinet.

Today is day 9 of Baclofen, day 17 of sobriety. I am on 30mg a day taken in 3(10mg) doses at 6 hours apart...

I've been so used to doing -everything- drunk including driving and working that I don't feel I can do -anything- sober. The other day, I had to follow my fiance in the truck to take his bike to the shop. Normally, leaving the house I -have- to have a drink(well, being home alone I -have- to have a drink), especially driving(I know, that's horrible). Maybe it was the Bac, maybe it was placebo effect but when that thought hit...it didn't build up, it sort of floated away. Usually the thought would hit me and I was go internally insane trying to figure out any kind of way/manipulation to make that drink happen. But I didn't.

One certain side effect, my eyes get really tired and heavy with the initial onset of each dose, however that effect goes away shortly after. I'm breaking out, possibly due to my body detoxing out the alcohol. I also noticed significantly more hair lost than usual during my shower last night. Stress? Weird weather? My teeth and jaw are pretty sore this morning from grinding my teeth last night. I must have slept pretty hard. However, I have been sleeping straight through the night with no troubles getting to sleep and no help of Xanax the past couple of nights. I'm very grateful for that one! Bring on the jaw pain!

[Mandiekinz]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Day 10...3rd day on 30mg. Yesterday was rough, my morning dose didn't have much of an effect other than heavy eyes. After my noon dose, I felt like crap! I was nauseous and had to lay down for a bit. I can say, for once, that I'm grateful to not be working! The feeling subsided shortly after.

I was doing errands and grocery shopping last night when I was due to take another dose and another wave of nausea came over me. Only it was a bit more difficult to tolerate. My head was spinning, my eyes were wanting to go to the back of my head, and my stomach was spinning along with my head. I felt like I did the first and ONLY time I did heroin! My only time being for that reason. What's weird is that it came on after the half-life of the pill was subsiding. It couldn't possibly be withdrawals already, could it? and only a couple of hours late of taking my pill? Once I got home and took my last dose for the day, I went to bed with no problems.

I will say my fiance mentioned to me on the way home last night that he was proud of me for not even asking to stop for booze in the past week. I hadn't noticed. I normally crack jokes to get some booze -every- time we pass a gas station or bar. He said it was nice that he didn't have to plan certain routes home or what he was going to talk about as we past them to keep me occupied. It was the first time hearing of such a thing. Quite the wave of guilt poured over me. I also noticed yesterday that I forgot that I smoked a few times through out the day. And both today and yesterday, my normal pot of coffee by 3 pm was only 2 cups that kept getting cold. Coincidence? I also and again, fell asleep with no problems last night and no aid of Xanax.

[skullbabyland]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Mandie, glad to hear about your early progress- the lessening of anxiety on bac can be a real blessing. Obviously, definitely do anything you can to lessen the possibility of driving intoxicated- but we all know that already so I digress

A serious congrats on 17 days AF- especially on the 8 days pre-bac, that must have been tough! A real victory!

I've had some of the same SE's as you. The drowsiness/eyes feeling heavy I get too, whenever I increase my dose, but I usually adjust to it within 3 or 4 days and feel pretty normal after that.

I too have broken out much more since starting bac/having AF days. In my case, hives, not acne. Could be allergies, could be my body adjusting to new medication or to being sober more often. Who knows.

The other SE that we share, I have not read about before on the forums- the jaw pain. It's really annoying and pretty painful and I sure hope it goes away soon. I suspect it's from grinding my jaw while I sleep, which is probably another stress response from my body adjusting to being sober more often. Really hope that one goes away soon!

The other SE you describe, I sure WISH i had- being able to sleep well at night! In your case, without Xanax. That's great. For me, I get insomnia and a shortness of breath throughout the night, so I have to take melatonin and benadryl and that usually does the trick.

Best to you!
Skullbaby

Mandiekinz;1540306 wrote: Neo, that was a great read! I thoroughly enjoyed it and feel as though I can relate with you at many times.

I stopped going to school at 12 due to social problems/anxiety/depression. I was always an outcast and felt different than everyone else. Docs had me on all sorts of different medicinal cocktails. Ultimately, the addict in me would just crush them up and snort them hoping for some kind of high and I was never responsible enough to take them properly. Even in my 20's of being on and off Zoloft. I never noticed them helping and due to my drinking, I wasn't responsible enough to take them daily. I have a bottle half full from a year ago still sitting in the cabinet.

Today is day 9 of Baclofen, day 17 of sobriety. I am on 30mg a day taken in 3(10mg) doses at 6 hours apart...

I've been so used to doing -everything- drunk including driving and working that I don't feel I can do -anything- sober. The other day, I had to follow my fiance in the truck to take his bike to the shop. Normally, leaving the house I -have- to have a drink(well, being home alone I -have- to have a drink), especially driving(I know, that's horrible). Maybe it was the Bac, maybe it was placebo effect but when that thought hit...it didn't build up, it sort of floated away. Usually the thought would hit me and I was go internally insane trying to figure out any kind of way/manipulation to make that drink happen. But I didn't.

One certain side effect, my eyes get really tired and heavy with the initial onset of each dose, however that effect goes away shortly after. I'm breaking out, possibly due to my body detoxing out the alcohol. I also noticed significantly more hair lost than usual during my shower last night. Stress? Weird weather? My teeth and jaw are pretty sore this morning from grinding my teeth last night. I must have slept pretty hard. However, I have been sleeping straight through the night with no troubles getting to sleep and no help of Xanax the past couple of nights. I'm very grateful for that one! Bring on the jaw pain!

[Mandiekinz]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Thank you Skullbaby! You're right, the first 8 days were not easy at all. But with starting the Bac, also came HOPE which is really helping me power through the days with a little more ease looking forward to a much better and balanced future.

I'm sad to read that you and many others on here are having trouble sleeping and that shortness of breath feeling. I get that when I detox and it just adds to my anxiety. I can't imagine the frustration getting that nightly, while you're trying your damnedest to build a better life without AL. Does that also go away as you adjust to east dosage?

Also with your hives...I know it is unlikely with Bac but could you possibly be one of the "unluckies" to being allergic to it? I hope that's not the case.

I really appreciate you relating to me, this site is so wonderful in non-judgments and feeling not so alone.

You're right, about adjusting to the meds after 3-4 days. I was so nervous taking my doses yesterday after the SE's from the day prior. However, I felt no need to lay down. Today, nothing so far. Magical!

[Mandiekinz]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Day 13 of Bac...still at 30mg.

I'm feeling the urge to move up in dosage before I'm scheduled to on Sunday. All negative SE's from prior are no longer present. I feel pretty normal.

My coffee intake is still down...which completely blows my mind. I had 1 SMALL cup today! WTH?! I'm not trying to quit my coffee. I love my coffee and no one can tell me I'm not allowed to drink it. With the exception of treatment centers. Bastards strip you clean of everything! I have noticed I do have a bit more energy to tackle tasks around the house without the ambition of coffee. Strange thing is I'm actually doing things around the house without talking myself out of it. Right now, I'm in the process of scraping wallpaper in the bathroom to bring it up to date. A project, get finished? It only took me 7 months to finish painting the living room. Mission complete as of earlier this week.

The hope this medicine gives me has been quite the needed blessing.

Yesterday, I found out some awful news. There's more to it and I won't bore the gritty details. However, my daughter got adopted by her step-mother without me even knowing, no notice, or any sort of documentation or ANYTHING! I've been calling around all day trying to find some answers to what the hell happened and how this happened. I mean, this means I'm no longer her mom! I have no rights to see her! I'm not even on her birth certificate! No one can give me answers without a damn case number yet, I never received anything. Anyways, this news had me crushed yesterday, I haven't cried that much in a very long time. What was weird was that I almost had to force my thoughts to want to have a drink. Needless to say, I did not have a drink...and it wasn't all that difficult. Surprisingly. I did cheat though, by 8pm I just wanted to sleep it away and popped a couple of xanax(.5mg). I didn't have anxiety when I got the news, which is shocking. Normally, anxiety would just skyrocket leading me to a bottle and self destruction. I was just simply...sad. Very, very sad.

I'm looking forward to moving up on my dosage. I'm feeling a change coming on...and it's a change that is invited.

[Mandiekinz]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Day 17 on Baclofen. Day 25 AF.

I've been on 50mg since Sunday. 20mg at 8am/10mg at 2pm/20mg at 8pm.

No nausea, no headache, no eyes rolling to the back of my head. By midnight I fall asleep like a baby with no aide of Xanax. My jaw does still hurt from clenching it at night. I've always had problems clenching it through out the day but not this bad in my sleep to where my jaw is sore. I'm also still bustling around with ample energy.

I feel like I'm really lucking out with the side effects so far. As I know that many on here were not so lucky and I was expecting some very similar results.

[skullbabyland]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Sounds like you're doing great, Mandie! How is it feeling now that you have some time AF? Is life pretty challenging, manageable, both?

SO great to hear that you are lucky in regards to SE's. I too still have the pain in my jaw from clenching at night, but it's finally starting to go away. A pain in the jaw is certainly worth all the benefits of being sober, no?

As for me, I don't think I'm allergic to the bac because other than the few SE's I seem to tolerate it well. And the SE's that I do have are thankfully lessening every day. I hardly notice them now.

Best to you!

[Mandiekinz]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Thanks Skullbaby! So glad the SE's are lessening and that you're now 10 days AF!!! That's so wonderful!!!

23 days on BAC, 31 days AF..

As of yesterday, I'm on 70mg/day (25mg in the AM/20mg afternoon/25mg around 8 pm)...

I was pretty active yesterday to notice too much of a difference in going up 20mg. Although, by the afternoon...hiking up hillsides, I was feeling fairly week and mildly dizzy. Then again, I didn't have much for a lunch. My coffee intake is STILL down, so it can't possibly be just some placebo stint. Still at 1 cup a day. That's 11 cups less than usual. A part of me wants to try that out with AL, however, b/c my mind thinks like that...it probably means I shouldn't try it.

I've only felt uncomfortable anxiety once through this...that was last night, getting myself worked up and worried sick about Dr.L. That's NORMAL anxiety though, right? I mean, it would be totally abnormal to not have anxiety ever. Of course, no thoughts of drinking slammed to my forefront.

I was at my fiance's brother in law's welcome home party on Saturday, surrounded by drunk folks and the sweet scent of beer breath. I kept thinking about alcohol, but I wasn't getting that uncontrollable rise of frustration urging me to get it. I wasn't arguing myself in my head the whole time. Just the random thoughts of "drink?" ..."Nah" I think it also helped that I was surrounded by people that know of my alcoholism and know that it would hurt my fiance if I got a drink.

I have no money, all the extra cash in the house (and change) is stored safely away from me in the gun safe that I do not have the code to. This is done to keep me from running to the store for alcohol while the fiance is away at work and to keep me from getting wasted and pulling out the fire arms. So usually when I come across random change, I always pick it up and "stash" it. hah. Pathetic? I have noticed that I do still look at change that is on the ground or randomly laying around, but I don't pick it up to stash away for safe keeping for when I have the urge to go drink.

I'm still up in energy. I get. shit. done. Although, I seem to lack physical balance at times. I'm a pretty fit person, athletic and normally great with coordination and balance (except when I'm wasted or detoxing). The other day while I was on the bathroom vanity painting the edges, I completely fell off of it and landed myself in the bathtub. I also did the same thing the day prior only off of a chair. So, no heights for me. If I turn around too fast, I have to grab something to hold myself up or I'll kiss the ground.

My jaw is pretty sore still. I sleep so hard, definitely dreaming hard as well. The jaw pain seems to subside by the end of each week. Then, I up my dose again...and it all starts back up.

Still no need for the xan every night, I seem to fall asleep around 3-3.5 hours after my last dose of Bac fairly easy. I did kind of cheat again the other night. I read a very sad email from my pops who is currently working in the middle east...he was talking about my daughter and I started crying again. My fiance ran and got me a xan, I was too upset to speak. He hates seeing me upset. He's such a great man. I just took it and went to bed. I'm not entirely fair to myself on this journey of sobriety to still try and block out "bad" emotions. It was just pure sadness though, no crazy amounts of anxiety came up. I'm gonna have to start taking the "bad" emotions and handle them maturely like any other "normal" person out there. Embrace the suck.

After the events with what's going on with Dr. L, I've decided to finally call a local doc. as I run out of meds next week. I have an appt. on Friday, I can only hope she'll let me continue on with this therapy. I've called 100 other numbers that are quasi near by...disconnected phones? All of them? Impossible.

I'm still sending Dr. L positive thoughts...I wish I could just give him a big hug. I'm originally from Chicago, I might just have to take a trip up there. In any case, it might be therapeutic. Anyone wanna join? He could use our love and support and maybe a few good laughs. I'm sure he feels like he's let us down. I don't feel like that's the case.

[skullbabyland]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Hey Mandie- been a few days since we've seen you on MWO, how are you doing?

I really relate to your posts, your last one in particular. If you've read my thread recently, you know that I too am trying to navigate the inevitable sadness or anxiety that comes with life's challenges. Embrace the suck, as you say. Live with it, accept it, rise above it and do what I can to help the situation or at least remain strong/positive. "Strong and positive" has become my new mantra that I chant in my head whenever I go down a rabbit hole of sadness to remind myself that everything will be OK. It seems to help, and gets me up and moving.

Great job on the party, by the way. Great to hear that the alcohol cravings were manageable, sounds like bac is working for you

I agree with you on thoughts of Dr. Levin. Sure wish we could show a bit of gratitude/support to him, though I've read from others that he is retiring and wishes to be left alone at the current time. Maybe we'll hear updates about him soon, but he's sure in my thoughts.

Anyway Mandie, hope you're well

[Mandiekinz]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Heya, Skullbaby! I'm doing alright. Trying to remain calm. This morning was a whirlwind of talking to all sorts of doctors trying to get ahold of some Bac. I have three days left. This is no bueno. One doc took the paperwork and said she'd look into it and to call her in a couple of weeks. She was intrigued but she refused to fill it for me. She referred me to another doc who referred me to another doc...and just no luck.

I dunno, the thought of losing my baclofen is equivalent to losing my alcohol. Healthy? I should have ordered it a couple of weeks ago when everything first started to go down. I guess I was feeling a little too hopeful that a doc would see that I'm doing fantastic on it and couldn't say no.

"Strong and positive"...it's a great mantra. I actually went to respond to your post this morning but ran out of time to head out for my hour drive to the doc. I'm sorry you're hitting some low points. But you've got to face them eventually, feel that pain and then accept it and move forward. I know it's hard sometimes when you really get stuck in it though, to where it pretty much paralyzes you from doing anything to distract yourself or make progress. The better you do for yourself, the more your loved ones will see it and those old relationships that were once destroyed can be built back up. Only you'll have much more to give and you'll have more control, which is a brilliant feeling.

I hope your weekend is sober and fun! Keep your head held high...there are good things coming.