Baclofen and Xanax newbie

[skullbabyland]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Mandiekinz;1547315 wrote: Heya, Skullbaby! I'm doing alright. Trying to remain calm. This morning was a whirlwind of talking to all sorts of doctors trying to get ahold of some Bac. I have three days left. This is no bueno. One doc took the paperwork and said she'd look into it and to call her in a couple of weeks. She was intrigued but she refused to fill it for me. She referred me to another doc who referred me to another doc...and just no luck.

I dunno, the thought of losing my baclofen is equivalent to losing my alcohol. Healthy? I should have ordered it a couple of weeks ago when everything first started to go down. I guess I was feeling a little too hopeful that a doc would see that I'm doing fantastic on it and couldn't say no.

"Strong and positive"...it's a great mantra. I actually went to respond to your post this morning but ran out of time to head out for my hour drive to the doc. I'm sorry you're hitting some low points. But you've got to face them eventually, feel that pain and then accept it and move forward. I know it's hard sometimes when you really get stuck in it though, to where it pretty much paralyzes you from doing anything to distract yourself or make progress. The better you do for yourself, the more your loved ones will see it and those old relationships that were once destroyed can be built back up. Only you'll have much more to give and you'll have more control, which is a brilliant feeling.

I hope your weekend is sober and fun! Keep your head held high...there are good things coming.

Hey Mandie- regarding bac, I sent you a PM.

Thanks for the comments regarding the getting through the tough times... I know you are correct and it's all good stuff to keep in mind. Strong and positive!

This weekend will be sober indeed... My antabuse ensures it, and my baclofen takes care of the cravings... between the two, I'm doing well staying sober so far.

Hope your weekend is sober and fun too!

[Mandiekinz]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

I'm glad that the antabuse is working for you. I've found that the many doctors I've crossed paths with in my past were not fond of that drug nor did they want me taking it. Then again, even in sober-mandie-land, I'm quite the rebel and would likely "test the waters". I'd probably also get excited I lost 10lbs of water weight and try it again. haha. Reading through the threads on here though, it seems to really help some people give that extra push they need to steer clear of the sauce. Also, thank you for your support and help today, Skullbaby.

I've never, ever been a fan of medicines. I've been on and off all sorts of different meds growing up and a few times in my adulthood. Perhaps it was b/c I've never noticed a difference with them. Perhaps it was b/c the meds were always getting changed up, or that I would never take them properly. However, with this Bac...I find that it is easy to take it religiously, that I'm feeling a difference for the better. It blows my mind some of the random things I've noticed that have changed.

I've never really said this to anyone until now...every night and every morning laying in bed since I can remember, I'd always fantasize about a giant blade just coming down from the ceiling and cutting my head off. I'd just keep wishing it would happen. I just wanted my head separated from my body, I guess. I suppose I've never mentioned this b/c I may have thought it was normal due to me always, always having those thoughts. However, last night, I realized that I haven't had those thoughts in about 3 weeks. I've been going to bed soooo peacefully and waking up with such ease.

I've also noticed that I haven't been gorging on food like I usually do through periods of sobriety. I eat till I'm full and then I put it away. I don't go for more, I don't keep circling the kitchen for snacks after dinner, I don't keep getting out of bed for more and more chocolate.

It's only been a month, maybe I'm crazy...but this stuff seems to be changing my life around and the way I live and think quite quickly and quite easily. This is a blessing. You all are a blessing.

Loop came to the rescue today and I'm deeply grateful for it.

[Mandiekinz]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

I went up to 90mg this week. It took a few days to adjust to it, spinning stomach and head, like I felt the first time I jumped up 20mg. Like I did heroin. Ugh. But I'm back to normal, just sleepy. Although, I have been getting up at 5am every morning to help the mister get ready for work. Roll smokes, pack his lunch, help him find his keys...I just stay up after he leaves. I don't have my usual energy like I was getting prior to upping my dose, but perhaps that's from the lack of sleep as well.

The mister has been in full blown panic mode from financial issues we're facing, so I've been handing him xanax every few days or so. Probably not the greatest idea...my addiction goes away and then I hand him an addiction to battle. hah. For the first time, I can actually say that -I'M- the one keeping my cool about life stresses and -I- am strong enough to lean on for support. It's pretty amazing. My heart breaks for the mister though, he's quit drinking for me...he could really use a night of stress-free drinking.

I think I'm nearing the switch. We did however, go out last weekend for a few drinks. I got a little buzz, I drank soooo much less than I used to. I went home and had no craving for more. I did notice that while drinking, it could get bad but I was able to feel that and see that and CONTROL that. I was able to rationalize which is normally impossible. I also woke up the next morning with zero craving for it. In fact, I was a little disgusted. Which also never happens. My usual first thought is either kill me now or find me a drink. I've had zero desire to drink since then. I even tried forcing my head in that direction to try to bring on a craving. It's like I hit a wall when I try to bring my thoughts that way. Strange. Perhaps this just keeps me from thinking too hard on anything really. I've found myself a little forgetful and stumped at times.

I spoke to a good friend of mine from rehab yesterday. He sounded miserable but he's 8 months sober today. Due to his misery, I mentioned to him about this stuff and he flipped on me. He said there is no cure, that I'll never be sober until I change my way of thinking, and that it's ridiculous I'd go about it this way and not the way HE's done it b/c he has more time under his belt than I, b/c it's the hard and true way. I was blown away by his reaction. But it goes to show what kind of wall us HDB users are up against.

I hope for nothing but wonderful things for our future and for those that are still struggling.

[StuckinLA]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

"Kill me now or get me a drink." Ha! That's awesome. I might get that embroidered on a pillow or something. Anyway, great job mandie. Also, sorry about having to deal with self-righteous recovery crap. Ugh I hate that dogmatic bullshit. I used to be really interested in it, and kind of wanted to go to AA and all that, but then I quit drinking and completely lost interest. The bar is a way better place to hang out with alcoholics. but I'm only almost 4 months 'sober,' so what do I know...

[Mandiekinz]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Hah, thanks LA...It's not so much that it's "self righteous" it's just works for them, so why bother changing up their protocol? I, too, had the interest in AA...after going to it for so long I never had the interest in it until mere fact that I was so lonely and was looking for a social life and I had found my "God". Therefore, I finally understood what the fuck they were all talking about all that time. I, then, began to regress after a the "pink cloud" and realized that as great of values they teach, it was still horse shit. And oh so closed minded.

Becoming sober and beginning your journey as a "normal" entity of civilization is not a walk in the park, no. Even with Baclofen. However, it couldn't possibly be that all of us addicts and alcoholics all share the same thing...a "spiritual" disease. It's a chemical imbalance and it's about damned time they found something for it. What the 12 steps does is it takes one obsession and turn it into a more "healthy" obsession...the constant focus on our wrong doings and what we can do to change them while maintaining our relationship with our "God" to rid us of our shortcomings. All of those that are opposed to this Bac therapy are only opposed b/c they don't understand a different way. I've been in and out of rehabs...and they all teach the same thing...there is NO CURE and the only thing that will save you is to change EVERYTHING. I didn't discover Baclofen until I got 'ballsy' and dare I typed in the search bar "cure for alcoholism"...I've never searched such an asinine thing b/c I had always thought that it was IMPOSSIBLE. But there it was...Baclofen.

I'm a very spiritual person...I also have a very high respect and passion for science. I was all for science and no God until I finally discovered that I can intermix the two of them and have the best of both worlds. My God is science.

My sister in law believes in nothing but the power of prayer. She ended up getting breast cancer. She refused medical treatment for far too long and it turned into stage 4 cancer, there was no changing her mind. I then explained that if there was a God that created all...what was the point in him creating the intelligence of science and doctors if they weren't here to help you. I don't know if it was me saying that or something else drove her to do it...but a week later she finally went and saw a doctor. Although the doc wasn't hopeful of her outcome, he gave her 2 months to live...he offered her very intense chemo and radiation as an attempt to save her. Now, she went through all that...she's miserable and hurting and the cancer still continues to spread...it's all up and down her spine, in her hips, in her lungs, and her brain. It's outside on her skin, her bones are crumbling, and she lost her hearing. However, a year later and she is still miraculously alive. She's showing signs of improvements, she can hear again, the tumors in her brain and shrinking a little bit. She's not giving up on life yet. The power of prayer? The power of science? I think BOTH.

So, anyways, the reason for this rant? Is that I lost -all- hope for myself with my addiction. Baclofen truly picked me up. I went through a few random moments of intense sad/disrepair/depression but I believe that was just my mind processing much of my past and that needs to happen to continue on in life in a healthy manner. It has it's side effects...sleepiness...a little GHB feeling on initially upping my dose, lack of the ability to go to the bathroom normally....but I'll TAKE IT if it keeps me sober...or it keeps me from drinking like an alcoholic, I should say. I'm amazed. I sat and prayed on it for awhile before discovering Bac...and sure enough it led me here. I can say, that I'm finally starting to the get the taste of what pure mental freedom is like.

I am oh so grateful.

[StuckinLA]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

baklofan;1614679 wrote: Assuming the lowest possible dose of Xanax: 120 pills script a month equals to 1mg/day.

That's quite huge to start for anybody, not to mention for a practicing alkie or even an ex alkie

1mg per day or as needed is a perfectly normal dose. No one here gives a flying f**k about what you have to say baclofan.

[StuckinLA]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

baklofan;1614685 wrote: Dude, just because you live in some sick country being surrounded by fcked up DRs and medicare don't try to tell me what perfectly normal stands for!

:H:H:H:H:H:H

[MissIndygo]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Thanks for bringing Bac Mandie's original postings you trolls. Love reading about Mandie girl She sure has a neck for writing about her experiences in a very clear & defined manner! Hope your well Mandie? I miss your input!

[Mandiekinz]

Baclofen and Xanax newbie

Thanks, lovely! You guys got to miss out on the crazy roller coaster I've been on, but I pulled through! What perfect timing to pull this up. I've completely forgot about this.

As for the xanax, I still have over half of my first bottle from 6 months ago. It did help me through the very difficult times that I have not written about. Some of which I had to take pretty high doses with to make it through. Even through the 2 months of hell, i refused to take it nightly. However, I'm alive, not addicted, and have total control. I only take it PRN and that hasn't happened in over a month.

Not sure why I feel the need to justify this. Perhaps some people just don't understand and need some clarification, huh?

You're right though, for some people this could be dangerous.