Fred's 30 day pledge

[Fred_The_Cat]

Fred's 30 day pledge

Bleggh, bit of a relapse. Not into alcohol, but my old shitty sleeping habits.

I woke up at 1:00 thinking I'd just drink some caffeine and get to work early around 4:00. Didn't make it until 5:00, then dragged the rest of the day. I have decided for no more sleep altering substances in the evening like alcohol or caffeine, as I'm pretty sure chai tea with dinner was at fault.

Still, this makes day 4 AF.

[Fred_The_Cat]

Fred's 30 day pledge

Dawn of day 5, I'm going to pledge to be more organized at how I go about things.

Yesterday was a very inefficient frenzy of exhaustion and sleep deprivation and I have to go in early to catch up. Today I'm going to approach things in an organized, planned and systematic manner. Not because I should, but because I just have to.

Also, I realized that I've been putting the cart before the horse. My concern at the beginning of this post was not accomplishing things in my personal life, but I now realize that personal accomplishments must take second seat to workplace accomplishments. Ie, the habits I make as an effective employee will free up energy to lead an effective personal life. As things stand I'm too frazzled and exhausted from sleeping too little and working too ineffectively to even think of doing things outside of work. Time to get organized.

Ever hear of the 80/20 principle? It states that 80% of your results come from 20% of your effort- you have to make that 20% count.

[Lo0p]

Fred's 30 day pledge

+1 to you from me buddy. :goodjob:

[Fred_The_Cat]

Fred's 30 day pledge

Well, yesterday was off to a perfect start. I got up at 4:00, put in some work on my book, meditated for 15 minutes to get my mind in order, went to work early, made a list of things to do and knocked them off one by one.

Later in the afternoon I get an infuriated email from my boss that a mistake had been found in my work, casting the rest of it into question. I cannot even say what industry I work in, but Lo0p can confirm that it is THE most detail oriented, nitpicking industry that exists where mistakes are not tolerated. I decided right then and there to get drunk.

Although it only amounted to two pints it reminded me of why I should not be touching alcohol for the time being- I had one of those "That's not my hand!!!" moments as I stared at it for a few minutes while sobering up. I'm still really fuzzy from tapering off of zoloft and abilify at the same time.

So- I'm resetting the 30 day clock and calling this a learning experience. Today's lesson? You don't get a gold star for being sober. Sobriety is nothing more than avoiding liabilities, but it is up to YOU to build the assets.

[Lo0p]

Fred's 30 day pledge

He might as well be working for the NSA. I can't imagine the pressure or scrutiny.

Why are you resetting the clock? It makes no sense to me.

[Fred_The_Cat]

Fred's 30 day pledge

Well, it was only 5 days so resetting the clock isn't that big a deal.

In industry we have a thing called root cause analysis whenever something goes majorly wrong. It's not considered acceptable to fix the problem, you have to backtrace the cause to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Thursday's slipup was because I made a mistake. I made a mistake because I was in the office at 4:00 sleep deprived. I was in the office at 4:00 sleep deprived because I was up at 1:00. You get the picture. Had I just forced myself to get a decent amount of sleep I probably would not have ended up drinking.


I tinkered around with my icloud account and found out that I can have it push notifications to my phone. It's been set to bombard me with reminders throughout the day to do useful things like weigh myself, exercise, take my bac and so on. I read a book on habits that pretty much said you have to henpeck yourself until it becomes second nature. (though I wouldn't recommend the book, it kind of misleads you into thinking it's a how-to guide when it's really just a bunch of case studies)

[spiritwolf333]

Fred's 30 day pledge

Fred -The great thing is that you are being honest with yourself. Not easy for many of us. I was always told that I took my next drink (after being intentionally abstinent) days before I actually did drink. I just used some valid-to-me logic to justify the current drink. The program does have one thing right: Alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful!

In your industry, miscalculations are not acceptable. In your life industry, miscalculations are necessary and are going to happen. Hell, if we were computers, we could just fix some software bugs and generate a new-better result. But we are not computers (to some degree). My only and final option was to get real selfish -about and for me. Sobriety had to come first -above all else and whatever it would take. You see, alcohol does truly lead to the destruction of everything -job-work-family-desire-ALL. Before it gets to that point, you can step in and get real selfish -and that is just what it takes -and thank the anti-alcohol gods for Baclofen.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Fred's 30 day pledge

Wow. I think those are some really wise words, SW.

Man, when I was trying not to drink, any day I didn't drink was a HUGE success. When I forgot that fact, I ended up drunk.

[paulywogg]

Fred's 30 day pledge

fred,i think sleep is crucial in staying sober,ive had many slips being overly tired and just NOT thinking clearly,its hard though,sometimes when your body is up,its up i had the same problem tuesday up at 1:30 am drank coffee,somehow made it,but damn

[Fred_The_Cat]

Fred's 30 day pledge

Back to day 2. The ios reminders have done wonders for being more productive, especially since they come through in a rather accusatory tone:

"5:00 PM: save money, weight and brain cells by making dinner and not eating out at the bar"

Since I'm (embarrassingly) glued to my phone, this is a good way to stay up close and personal with my goals.

Another thing is that I seem to be making things seem much worse than they really are. The mistake I made at work was caught in the checks and balances and did not affect anything except making me look bad. Also, even when I do slip up with drinking it never amounts to much. It's just the habitual aspect I'm trying to erase. Hopefully mustering up enough discipline to make it through 28 more days will pay dividends.

[Fred_The_Cat]

Fred's 30 day pledge

Just had the scare from hell. After resetting the clock on my abstinence I had another slip which amounted to three drinks. This was right around 3:45 after I clocked out of work from a frustrating day. At 5:00 I took a hydroxyzine (a sledgehammer antihistamine prescribed for anxiety) and was out like a light.

I faded into consciousness and saw a dim light through the window. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was already 7:30. The Horror! I had overslept! I jumped in the shower and prepared for work. The kitchen was empty, so my roommates had already left for work. The sky was red and the sun was coming up, and I could tell we had lost a lot of daylight. I pulled into the parking lot and could tell that something as wrong- all of the good spots were available. What was happening? Layoffs? A terrorist attack? I clocked in through the turnstile and said "Good Morning" to security, embarrassingly trying not to make eye contact. I get up to my cubicle and no one is in the office- something terrible is indeed going on. Then I pull out my phone and an unthinkable realization comes upon me:

it was 7:50 PM.

Maybe it was the hydroxyzine, but I felt so perfectly rested after a short time that it really made me realize what hell alcohol is wreaking on my sleep patterns. Alcohol and baclofen is a whole different monster than alcohol itself.