a little bit of help and guidance please.

[spiritwolf333]

a little bit of help and guidance please.

Great topics and very interesting -especially on the creative side. After 6 or seven weeks alcohol free and full of baclofen, I became a list making fool (new tech, ideas, thoughts, songs, drawings). I made so many thought lists that I was unable to even organize them. But damn it was fun and still is. I finally got up the courage to let a few folks read some songs that I had written (while sober-amazingly). I could not believe their positive responses (and no, it was not my mother or wife who commented). These days, I find it so strange that I can't find the time in a day to do all the things I want. Only 8 months ago, all I could find the time for was drinking. Funny how this baclofen thing works.

[joanna_d]

a little bit of help and guidance please.

chelsea98;1575055 wrote:
Can you expand further on this?

sure. but not right now i'm afraid. my brain has to cool down from an adrenaline soaked work day. i really need to get some quality sleep tonight.

hope you're having a good day!

[Eloise]

a little bit of help and guidance please.

Telling someone to just stop drinking is like saying "get a life, or stop being lonely, or stop feeling isolated or stop thinking & just be happy."

What about empathy & kindness?
Hm.

[joanna_d]

a little bit of help and guidance please.

baclofen works. (period)

with every glass you're able to decline, the way up to the switch will become less burdening on body & mind.
if you're able to stop, or to lower your alcohol intake: do it.
if you're not, you're in for a trip to hell. and back (in my own experience). that's the good part of it.

so while you keep on focussing on the goal, which is to free yourself from alcoholism, and trying to invest in the new life you're going to be having in the here and now, don't make a burdening or hellish time in your life harder by beating yourself up when you find you've been drinking more than you would have wanted.

EDIT: in my opninion beating yourself up is part of the phenomenon of addiction. (this might be put in the wrong words, don't feel like searching for better ones right now. more coffee please!)

[chelsea98]

a little bit of help and guidance please.

@joanna, thanks, I look forward to your further input.

@spirit, glad to hear you're back in to writing songs, just a creative release can be rewarding in itself without appreciation from other people, most writers/artists are insecure about their work so just do it for yourself and if others like it thats an added but not sought after bonus as I'm sure you are aware.

@eloise i know what you mean but people who have been on the receiving end of a person drinking find it hard to empathise when they've put up with so much. in time i think they may come to realise how hard it is for someone, but I wouldn't blame anyone for saying "just stop drinking", it's kind of like saying to someone "just stop breathing".

@palladium, you're absolutely right (again!) that you really must give it a chance to do it's stuff and not hinder it with drinking at normal levels. cutting down is a start and i've been fortunate enough to be able to cut it out. talking of which, it's now a week and a day and all is going well. my shallow breathing has all but disappeared though last night I did have one particularly large gasp for breath which woke me. I've still had alcohol thoughts but not in the same way. I'm thinking about it but not craving it, i'd say cravings have dropped from 100% down to about 10-15% or less, probably less in fact. Having said that, there have been a couple of occasions where I've thought "i'd like a beer" and one where i though "fuck it, i'll have a beer" (relationship stress with that one) but each time I've been able to think, fuck that, I'm not going to. that is so far away from where I was it's almost difficult to think that i'm the same person. there's plenty of booze in the house still, 4 bottles of vodka, a couple of desperados and some other stuff but my tipple, for the last four years at least was kronenberg 1664 so although i would have topped up with vodka a while ago if my beer was running out, i'm not even thinking about the stock i have downstairs and not even considering tucking in to it. this is a major turn around which I can only put down to baclofen. I've upped it starting yesterday to 210mg a day and though this may sound wierd, I kinda like some of the side effects (SE's) and am getting used to them.

[spiritwolf333]

a little bit of help and guidance please.

This is a truism -I have just now read this and perhaps I need to remember -not only about my self, but about others as well. Funny thing for some of us: We survive the trip to and from hell but still don't give ourselves credit for surviving:

“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” -- Damage, Josephine Hart

[spiritwolf333]

a little bit of help and guidance please.

Craving versus Thinking (about alcohol): Craving can be both mental and physical. The mental craving is that unrelenting thought cycle that tells you that you will not be ok until you intake/participate in _______. A thought is just a remembrance of a past event, product, person, etc.

As far as alcoholic thoughts go, and as an alcoholic, I think something would be wrong with me if I did not have thoughts of alcohol. With Baclofen, I at least now have the choice whether or not to act on the thoughts and to be able to remember the consequences regarding either choice.

[kronkcarr]

a little bit of help and guidance please.

such a good topic. for me, at almost 11 months on bac, my thoughts of alcohol are all habit. still it happens but less and less and it's not a big deal. when I work across the state I leave before 5 am to get there, work most of the day and leave around 5 pm to come home. last weekend when I went I did think about drinking on my drive home. a friend wanted to meet me for a drink when I got back and I didn't go into town because I was in a mood (actually happy) to over drink. it's not a battle and hasn't been since I hit my switch. like one of you said: it's not the same and it's not fun anymore.

Lo0p uses the phrase "cured" and I kinda like that. I posted somewhere on here that I don't spend time thinking if I'm an alcoholic, a habitual drinker or whatever because I'm not that anymore. What a joy when I think about it!

[spiritwolf333]

a little bit of help and guidance please.

Hey Kronk -good to see you posting -maybe your are a recovered-cured-baclofen taking-former in-taker of spirits -which no longer interest you? JK-LOL- You continue to be an inspiration.

[chelsea98]

a little bit of help and guidance please.

spiritwolf333;1577070 wrote: With Baclofen, I at least now have the choice whether or not to act on the thoughts and to be able to remember the consequences regarding either choice.
this is exactly what I'm now feeling spiritwolf and it's entirely liberating, I never thought I would be here, where i always wanted to be yet here i am!

a recovered-cured-baclofen taking-former in-taker of spirits -which no longer interest you

I love this and if i could, I'd have it printed on my business cards!!!

Kronkcarr for me, at almost 11 months on bac, my thoughts of alcohol are all habit. still it happens but less and less and it's not a big deal

I'm heading there slowly I believ, or quickly, I'm not sure. I just wish I'd given bac the chance to do it's stuff a long time ago (in fact, I was a bit put out that years ago dr chick gave me naltrexone instead of bac when i asked for it, he later told me it was because i said i still wanted to drink).

[chelsea98]

a little bit of help and guidance please.

so I'm now 24 days alcohol free and things are on the up and up. I've had two very testing events and have managed to c ome through both. the first was after a halloween party when all of my mates were round and it turned into a pretty heavy session. they were drinking all night, there was weed and cocaine too. i felt very uncomfortable early in the evening, a feeling of being left out and not involved at all, even though I was conversing and laughing and taking part. I did have some cocaine which strangely made me more relaxed as I felt I was part of it all again. I managed not to drink all night, even after the coke which is unbelievable to be honest. As you may know, I've also been a massive toker/smoker over the years, been smoking weed/hash longer than I've had my drinking issue and on a daily basis so my next event was going to also be a massive test. A 3 day trip to amsterdam.

we, me and two mates, left this last monday and returned thursday morning. the first night I had some particularly strong weed which brought on a very paranoid buzz. This brought up all the thoughts and fears I'd had prior to the trip about alcohol and not having any and really freaked the shit out of me. The following night I downgraded to a nice hash which gives you a nice high(as opposed to the weed which makes you really stoned) and it was much better. My friends were drinking beers and for the whole weekend I was drinking water in the bars and clubs etc. I never thought I'd ever be able to do that and I'm really amazed that I did. I came back yesterday and this morning was in a local supermarket. there was a big display of wine right next to the checkout and I looked at it and the first thing that popped into my head was "i really don't want you anymore". These thoughts have happened a couple of times recently and those who have had it happen to them will tell you that it's one of the most liberating thought's you'll ever have. i'm maintaining at 220mg per day at the moment and may go a little bit higher still as there have been occasions when I've thought it would be nice to have a drink. I've still got, by my reckoning, at least another 20 or more days until I'm maybe at complete indifference, who knows, but I can't wait to get there.

On a separate note, just a thing about Dr Chick. I recently moved doctors and wanted him to write to them to continue my prescription. He wrote to them saying he was prescribing 80mg a day with a reccomendation of 60-70mg daily. This is after the last prescription he gave me which meant I could take 100mg (his upper limit and I top up from my stash to 220mg per day) each day for 30 days. I had to contact him and politely explain my displeasure with his prescription and the letter he'd written to my doctor, saying that it was unsafe for me to drop 20% and as this new doctor is an arsehole that she probably wouldn't prescribe over 60-70mg per day (a 30-40% drop from my current level). Anyway, he has now corrected it, send me a new script for 100 per day and is re-writing to my new doctor.

[StuckinLA]

a little bit of help and guidance please.

Argh, paranoid-stoned SUCKS! I got a medical marijuana card recently, thinking I'd start getting high again instead of drinking - I haven't been a big smoker since high school. Sounded like a great - perfect - plan. But then weed just made me so over the top paranoid and anxious, and started getting actual panic attacks from getting high.

That was a tough realization and a hard fall. That I am just plain sober. No booze, no weed either. Ugh. Hang in there, buddy. The more you are around old 'triggers' and give yourself a moment to realize that you don't actually want a drink/line/hit, the easier it gets.

[chelsea98]

a little bit of help and guidance please.

no such luck on medical marijuana in the UK for the forseeable future but I'm planning on knocking that on the head soon too. I'm actually looking forward to no drink, no weed and nothing else. I don't think I've been truly sober since I was about 15 (now 39) so I'm interested in finding out who I actually am!! it's true what you say about triggers, but amsterdam was a massive one for me as was my friends that night of halloween and I've come through them both so I have my head held high right now!!