Omaha Wagon and the Topamax Experience

[omahawagon]

Hey again all...

To catch up, last April/May I was on Bac for a little over a month (see my previous journal here). The spaced out side effects were more than I could handle, and after an honest go I gave in. I ordered Naltrexone with the intention of trying TSM, but pretty much chickened out on that before even trying it. Naturally I went right back to my old drinking habits of getting drunk 3-4+ nights a week.

This summer I started to develop tremor and numbness on one side of my body. The MRI was clear, and the neurologist was more or less sure this wasn't caused by the alcohol since it was only one side of my body. All I know is that drinking didn't make it better or worse, and not drinking didn't make it better or worse. But who knows? I was slamming vodka and cranberry all summer like a Russian oligarch in a whorehouse. Anyhoo, they really aren't sure what was/is causing it so my neurologist put me on Gabapentin, and when that didn't help much, suggested switching me to Topamax.

And I was wondering "where have I heard of that before"? Oh yeah! My buddies on MyWayOut!

So after a few days dryout from the gaba I switched to Topa. I was on 25 mg the first week, and drank a few of those nights. Let me tell you from first hand experience: drinking on Gaba or Topa is not a pretty thing. Falling down making a total ASS of yourself drunk on half what you normally drink? Check. Getting lost in your own bedroom and almost peeing in the closet? Check. Just things to consider before you decide to drink on Topa...don't do it in public at least!

The 8th day I went to 50 mg, where I have been for 11 days, and have been AF for 11 days without any struggle. I haven't had ANY cravings. It was literally like a switch. I feel like going out and getting a bottle of booze right now about as much as I feel like getting a can of pinto beans. I keep waiting for the honeymoon to end, the placebo effect to wear off, but it hasn't! You all know that alcoholic mindset where a certain time of the day comes and it's like a ticking time bomb, you have to fight and struggle against yourself to not drink? GONE. I don't give it a second thought, there just are NO CRAVINGS. No desire. I have had some VERY stressful days this last week when in the past nothing would have stopped me from drinking away my frustrations, and while my mind automatically *thought* about alcohol, it just as quickly didn't WANT alcohol. I don't know if that makes sense, but as far as I'm concerned it's a Christmas freakin' miracle.

My Doctor has made it clear that we will adjust my dose until we get to the point where the tremor and numbness are treated (which we are pretty much close to), so I know I can go up to 75, 100mg or higher if I feel cravings...but I feel good on 50 mg so I hope I can stay here.

Side effects: 1) I've seen others complain this makes them dopey and tired. My doctor said take it at bedtime for that reason. I can't take it at bedtime because it keeps me up all night thinking as sharp as a tack, so I take it at around 5 p.m. I do get a *bit* tired a few hours later. Not fall asleep tired, just yawning a bit. 2) Any carbonated beverage tastes like dirty ass in a dirty ashtray.

And THAT'S IT. I am 100% functional on Topa, it's like being on nothing at all. Except I don't drink!

I will update this as time goes on, but for now, I just wanted to say if you've struggled with Bac don't overlook alternatives. I was so convinced Bac was the only way that when it didn't work for me I was in despair. Turns out Topa (knock on wood) is 1000 times more suited for me. On paper the SE's are as scary as Bac, but at least in my reality, they are minuscule and relief came in 8 short days. Maybe I am the exception, but damn, I wish I would have tried this years ago!

[omahawagon]

Omaha Wagon and the Topamax Experience

Also, as a side note...while trying to diagnose my little neurological issue, my doctor did a complete blood work and all my liver tests came back completely normal. I am not sure how that can possibly be after years of drinking bottles of booze week in and week out! I do take milk thistle religiously so maybe it really has helped, but boy, was I SHOCKED when she said everything was fine and I saw the results myself. I even drank the night before the blood was drawn! Oy. Maybe I've really dodged a bullet~~~~

[OlgadaPolga]

Omaha Wagon and the Topamax Experience

Wow. That is so good to hear, after scaring myself reading all the negative things people have to say about topamax. I've got some coming and think it could really help me (I was scared if baclofen as well though I know people have great success with it too). I hope ou continue to post updates and continue to stay AF!

[omahawagon]

Omaha Wagon and the Topamax Experience

You will find negative and positive experiences out there for any treatment medication, program, etc. I think we all react differently. In reading other people's Topa experiences most go well over 50 mg before hitting their switch, and for me it was literally instant as soon as I hit 50 mg. Well, maybe not instant, day one at 50 mg I was hungover as heck and wouldn't have drank anyway, plus there was a week at 25mg building it up in my system. Topa has a half like of like 20 hours, so it stays in your system quite a while. But regardless, 50 mg seems to be the magic number at the moment and without side effects. I know I may be lucky and don't want to make it seem like it will be this easy for everyone, but if it happened to me it can happen to someone else too!

[omahawagon]

Omaha Wagon and the Topamax Experience

My story/bit of background:

Female, 39 years old, 140 lbs.

Alcohol consumption (pre-summer): 1/2 of a 750ml bottle of rum, 4-5 nights a week, 2-3 AF nights a week. More or less averaging about 2 bottles of rum a week. That was pretty much my pattern for years and years...before the rum it was Southern Comfort, before that it was wine, before that it was Schnapps. I've been drinking too much in one form or another since I was 20. Not half a bottle a night levels all along, but getting drunk levels. My tolerance has just increased.

Sometime around June I discovered vodka. Vodka must be the worst kept secret in the alcoholic sub-world, but somehow I just stumbled upon it this year. My rum hangovers were nasty. My vodka hangovers didn't exist. Thank God I didn't find this out earlier in my illustrious drinking career! So I crept up to drinking half a bottle of vodka 5-6, even 7 nights a week, barely pausing to dry out here and there. I mean, without the consequences what was to stop me? I could get up, do my work, and at the end of the day 'reward' myself with that first glass of vodka with a splash of cranberry. And then proceed to get smashed. Wake up not feeling too bad, rinse, repeat.

What a 'reward'...

Outside of a serious go with Bac back in April, I still wasn't doing anything about it. I always had it in mind that I was going to quit again, that I was going to set a quit date, or start the Naltrexone I bought, or yada yada yada, all the promises we make to ourselves the morning after and forget around 10 hours later when the first splash of liquor hits the ice cubes in the glass. I think part of me was so disappointed in the Bac being my almost cure that I just decided "nothing is going to work so I'll drink forever (insert pouting child face here)". Yeah, I know...pity party on Aisle 5. I would have gotten over it but I really was having a nice time with my buddy Vodka all summer.

But either way, I wasn't actively intending to quit. Sure I WANTED to, but I just kinda walked into a Topa prescription due to other illness. When you're in my shoes, you RUN with that kind of good luck. But my approach was the same as Bac...to continue drinking as per the usual, and hope the medicine did something. I didn't work it or intentionally abstain. The first week on 25mg I got drunk. A lot.

And then I just spontaneously quit desiring alcohol like the snap of your fingers. Yeah, it freaked me out. I still don't believe it, and I even sat here last night and kind of challenged it as though it isn't real. I thought about what it would be like to have a few drinks right then and there. But there was nothing. Nada. Not one craving. Plus all my normal triggers are completely ineffective. My BF has been an arse the last few days, and this would normally topped the mandatory drinking excuse list 10 ways to Sunday. Yet, I just don't want to. As I said, my desire to go out and buy booze is about as high as my desire to go buy a can of beans. My desire to drink booze is about as high as my desire to eat a case of sardines. Could I do it? Sure. But it holds absolutely no appeal to me. Topa has seriously done something rather drastic to my brain. And I like it!

So that's my story. Today is day 13 AF and craving free. I'm still a very small Newbie on a very big ride. It's bound to get bumpy so forgive me if I shoot sunbeams out my butt while the going is good. :bum: :H

[omahawagon]

Omaha Wagon and the Topamax Experience

A little update...my doctor upped me to 75mg, and oddly the magic tapered a little after 2 days there. I was a bit WTF about that and considered going back to 50, but since I am on Topa for a different reason had to stick it out. But thankfully it wasn't like I went fully back to my old habits. As I mentioned drinking on Topa isn't pretty. I basically get very tipsy very fast, so a few drinks and it's beddy-bye time. As such it was a couple vodka cranberries later in the evening and then straight to bed. Not happy I did it, but glad it wasn't half a bottle.

I drank three glasses of wine last Saturday earlier in the evening, which would normally have been the appetizer starting an all night bender before Topa, but that itself got me very, very buzzed. And after the third, when I should have been thinking about switching over to vodka, I just decided not to drink anymore. So despite already having an awesome buzz going I quit drinking and spent the rest of the night unbuzzing. The only other time I ever did that was when on Bac and no doubt darn close to my switch.

So I think that was when I evened out and stopped craving again, and it's been smooth sailing since. Yesterday she bumped me up to 100mg because I still have symptoms we are trying to control, but no cravings at this point. Right back to where I was at 50mg so far. Fingers crossed I stay that way.

So it's been bumpy, I'm not sure why going UP in dose seemed to trigger a mini-relapse, or if it was just unfortunate timing, but it lasted all of 5 days and I'm glad it's over.

[gumtree]

Omaha Wagon and the Topamax Experience

Hi, am new here and considering Topamax. Wondering how you are doing now! Please share if you have a moment.