Hello Everyone,
Allow me to introduce myself: I'm a 35 yo. senior manager from Poland (non-native speaker, hope you don't mind), discovered the Bac option just a couple of weeks ago, trying to read as much as possible, unfortunately the more you know, the more questions you have. I'd be very grateful for any replies from the more experienced to confirm or reject my assumptions so far. I know it's written there somewhere, but you'd really help me move forward, before I have the luck to get to it:
1. I would never suspect myself of anxiety, especially since in Polish it's a synonym of fear, and I don't feel I have a problem facing any challenges, whether professional, or a fist fight for example, if the situation demands it. But I have a "be prepared for the worst" strategy, and in turn I find myself analyzing and re-analyzing tons of negative scenarios, like what if I had cancer and 3 months of life left (just an example, it's mostly about smaller things). It could be why I'm unhappy in general. But I don't feel weak, vulnerable, helpless, etc., I don't feel I have a problem called depression. Is this, or could this be the GAD?
2. Lately the typical dose of 200 ml of vodka to switch me off and allow me to go to sleep on weekdays seems to be diminishing in effect. I drink more on weekends, if I can allow it (I have my reasons and never DWI, no exceptions). So lately I usually drink it at let's say 2:30 AM, being very tired and vodka work better in conjunction. Of course I'm happy if I can drink earlier or more, but am still able to ensure I'll be sober when I have to drive the next morning. I have the impression @Terryk described it ("10 years ago" paragraph from the very moving 2 years of sobriety post), but then lost control. Could anyone experienced with Bac (hopefully @Terryk himself too) comment on having a similar drinking pattern?
3. I never, or almost never drink till I drop, it comes rather naturally that I maintain some satisfying level of alcohol in blood (probably too scared of a blackout), while I still remain responsible and communicative. I'm rarely aggressive after alcohol, rather the first to say: let's leave that until we are sober. Instead, I have maybe not spasms, but something like a need to stretch different muscles when sober during the day. Rather a matter of head than, i.e. lack of electrolytes. Could those issues be an indication that the alcohol problem is anxiety based?
I've attended some group therapy, didn't really help, since I can't honestly admit I'm powerless, have significant material losses or that I'm escaping from life problems, therefore the AA with their higher power and prayers wouldn't work for me for sure. I want to determine or confirm if my case is "right" for Bac, and whether there's any point to try low dose first to see if things improve on their own, before moving to the hundreds mg schedule. Of course I don't know of any aware doctors nearby, so I'd be very grateful for any replies and advice.
Comment