anyone on nal/tsm

[spuddleduck]

anyone on nal/tsm

I know how you feel about using Nal to abuse drinking.. I want to use it only if I can not manage a craving.. I don't want to go back to daily drinking to say I'm using my Nal so I can drink when ever I want. I too want to get away from the madness... I have been loving and cherishing my AF days. Even on the weekend. I gotta say I love your swerves

great that we are on the same page with that. I almost feel im not doing the nal justice by not drinking (ha ha that almost sounds like an excuse to drink... but I didn't, so up yours alcohol)
bkyoga, my first thought when I read that you asked your sister to come and stay was that it would make it more difficult/stressful for you. thinking about it though it can actually be very therapeutic helping someone else, and as you say you would be bugger all use to her if you were drunk. now what better reason to stay sober than to help your little sister.
i'm so please I 'swerved' the drink last night. each swerve just adds a little more ammunition against the clutches of al. I should be safe today as I have a hospital appointment early tomorrow morning to check out my eyes (diabetic stuff) and I wouldn't want to risk missing it. having said that I have been known to drink at very inappropriate times in the past, either missing important things or being in a dreadful state due to drinking. will I ever learn, I bloody well hope so, in fact i'm learning every day.

[bkyogagurl]

anyone on nal/tsm

Ukblonde;1611773 wrote: Do you feel angry that's she's helping her in her addiction?

You need to stay safe for yourself, your recovery is the most important thing at the moment - no use to anyone otherwise and long term you will be there.

Do you have a mantra to help you?

I do feel angry that she contributes to her(my sis) addiction... My mother does not understand the damage she does by doing this... and how much heart ache and self destruction that ensues with her promotion of alcohol and marjuana and pills. My sis already blames herself and of course now that she is with my mother she hasn't called me back..
I am sure my mother helped her feel alot better...

and to top it off.... My mother and sister will be at the funeral I have to attend on
Saturday. I am thinking I will drive to the funeral then drive straight back home in one day...
That way I won't be there overnight where I will be tempted to drink.

What do you mean by a mantra?? like a saying I think in my head?

[bkyogagurl]

anyone on nal/tsm

spuddleduck;1611824 wrote: for bkyoga,

INNER PEACE BEGINS THE MOMENT YOU CHOOSE NOT TO ALLOW ANOTHER PERSON OR EVENT CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS

I am writing this down... And putting it somewhere I can see it.
:bow

[YouKayBee]

anyone on nal/tsm

There's some reet good stuff going on on this thread (new word for you BKYG, it's more regional dialect than true English)), and I'm feeling the love.

I am also very proud of this thread. I'm learning a lot about relationships and groups in therapy, theories and the like and without making it feel like an experiment it's really interesting seeing how the thread has panned out.

Made me feel all warm and smiley inside.

Loving the quote by Spuds.

My mantra has always been "Everything willl be ok so long as I don't have a drink", obviously had to be modified during TSM but I'm using it now, can be modified to "I can deal with most things so long as I don't drink" and it's fecking true. Ok might feel like I'm having a melt down but I know I have a chance sober.

[spuddleduck]

anyone on nal/tsm

eey up ukb you say some reet sweet stuff !
I have the inner peace quote stuck on my mirror so its always handy to see. its on a lovely sunsetty pic, ill try and get in on here but im a bit rubbish at all that stuff ( im a pen/paper and Kodak film gal...... just crawled out from under a rock in a deep dark cave)
bkyoga, sounds like you could be in for a tough time on Saturday and your plan to drive makes good sense. I suspect that even if you aren't tempted to drink it will still be quite upsetting being with your mum and sister knowing whats going on. have you spoken to your mum about it, it seems crazy that she should be enabling your sister knowing that she has a problem. families eh!
my hospital appointments went well , im not falling to pieces just yet. ive been having some conflicting thoughts going on in my head. one minute im thinking 'yep, great cutting the booze down, exercising more and just getting my arse moving to do stuff' then im off thinking ' well I feel like a good booze blast, perhaps I could just drink without taking nal ....NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!'. that thought is really bugging me and im having to use all my effort to kick its demonic seed out of my head. it really is like having a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other fighting for my attention. WELL I NEED TO STRAP ON SOME ANGEL WINGS AND DOC MARTINS AND STAMP VERY HARD ON THE DEVIOUS AL DEVIL.
ukb, if it hadn't been for you guys here I don't think I would have been so determined (ha ha, read above) with the tsm. I initially just threw it out there to see if anyone was nal-ing but im finding it a good place to be to waffle on with folk on the same page/path. so yeeaaaaay - big up to us.

every time I try to get smiley dancy thingys my computer does weird things, flashing on and off and takes ages to do anything. hope the smiley dancy things aren't ganging up on me for my bad thoughts on booze without nal.

[bkyogagurl]

anyone on nal/tsm

UK- I totally agree with the love that feels present here. I feel a really connection to it. I love talking with you and Spuds on a daily basis because it feels like I have people in my corner understanding my journey. Your input and encouragement have been vital to this thread and pulled the whole thing together. I'm glad that we are giving something back to you- UK.:l
I love the mantra... Everything will be ok as long as I don't drink... That is epic for me.
I have a binder that I keep my meal plans & workouts in... I have been writing quotes and mantras on it.. I will be adding this one and Spuds. One of the quotes I wrote on it was something my trainer said to me "I wish you would not drink" it was so hard to write it down for some reason it made me feel weird but it's something I look at everyday but I'm glad I did.

Spud- isn't it funny how our minds play tricks on us.. Thinking I wish we could drink without Nal. Don't do it. I appreciate you. Our minds are much alike.
IT IS crazy how my mother contributes to self destruction. I think her being an addict makes her want company. I could go on but I'm gonna try not to focus on her and the situation. I am in a good place and need to promote my mojo. I was walking on clouds and I want to get back there. Somehow I think this week will be tough thinking about going to the funeral this weekend.
And when you said a "good booze blast" .... Interesting .... It's how we put our addiction in perspective. It kinda glamorizes it. Because we both know it's not really a good blast but biatch of a hangover that awaits us. You are such a sweet person and have this air about you that makes me smile when I read your posts. I look forward to them everyday.

As you both are well aware... I am quite connected to this thread. I often wonder if this is the kind of support I have been searching for. I feel stronger than I ever have and I feel safe coming here. It is such a comfort to know I can come here and explain my problems instead of turning to the bottle... And the best thing is that I know you care and will respond no matter how insignificant it may seem. As I have said before I feel it's been vital to my recovery and AF days. I would have for sure drank this weekend if I didn't have a place to come talk about what was going on.
Thank you.
:thanks::h

Oh YAH.... DAY 13 did I say day 13!!!!!!

[bkyogagurl]

anyone on nal/tsm

Mr. BK and I were talking about going to the funeral and this is the text I sent him... Just wanted to share..

.I like the idea of taking the kids to Hiking and having some family time but I am concerned about the party element that goes along with The town and all of our friends there. It's really important to me that I make this entire 31 days alcohol free. I'm afraid if we get into a situation where you and others and drinking it up I will feel vulnerable and end up drinking too. I don't think I will feel strong yet around a bunch of people drinking and I just don't want to be around it. It's making me sad.

He said he would not drink or call any of our friends there. I just want some strength in the way of AF days under belt before I start trying to hang out with people who drink.

[YouKayBee]

anyone on nal/tsm

That's almost 2 weeks

[bkyogagurl]

anyone on nal/tsm

Ukblonde;1612517 wrote: That's almost 2 weeks

You make me smile and feel accountable.:thanks:

[spuddleduck]

anyone on nal/tsm

ahhw, im feeling all loved up here. its great that we can help and be helped at the same time (I would put a loved up smiley here but I keep losing them).
bky, I was looking back through this thread as I couldn't remember who's funeral it was and it really jumped out at me how different your posts sounded when you were drinking, especially drinking daily. you sound so much better now, positive and energised. if you have any doubts about your sobriety just have a read back and decide which 'you' you want to be. I still couldn't find who's funeral it is. the reason I was looking is that I read on the sober January thread that you are considering not going. just be sure you're not going to regret it, as you say though, it is for the living and you have to feel comfortable in yourself. I have to say, I think I would be tempted not to go. if it were me... and this is just how my daft head thinks, if I went and mr spuds stayed sober for me I would feel guilty (yes I know that's crazy), if mr spuds drank after saying he wouldnt I would resent it (again crazy).. so poor mr spuds would be in trouble whatever. theres always the chance that you could go and feel blooming marvellous that you are sober and in control while all around are being drunken idiots but only you knows if that is possible. the way you are sounding, all determined and positive that could well be a possibility. its gonna be a tough decision either way.

thanks for putting my 'good booze blast' into perspective, there is nothing 'good' about it at all. it really is mind trickery. I'm still feeling 'twitchy' about having a drink but I will be fighting it. I am trying to banish the evil thoughts of drinking without nal..... its too crazy for words, why the hell would I do that. I know for sure that if I did I would feel so miserable and pissed off at myself.... it would be enough to turn me to drink (ha ha). I have a dentist appointment this afternoon and I know I have a bad habit of going for a drink after appointments (why why why..... not a fecking clue) so im already putting my suit of armour on for the internal battle I will be having.

there used to be a thread here with quotes and sayings, I think chillgirl was very active on it... but it seems to have disappeared. there were some great words of wisdom to help us on our way.

has someone around here got 13 days af, hmm... well its not me, ukb is sailing into months of af, so who can it be.......... yeeeehaaaaaaa.... it must be bkyogagurl...... well done you!!!!!

[bkyogagurl]

anyone on nal/tsm

Quit making me feel good about myself...:H Just kidding... You made me laugh out loud this morning...
Annnnddddd I don't want to brag but I will anyway this girl has actually 14 days officially under my belt. :happy:


Have to get the kids to school but will be back soon...

[skullbabyland]

anyone on nal/tsm

Just popping in to ya'alls thread to say hey and congrats bk on your 14 days... you're awesome, as are you all!

[bkyogagurl]

anyone on nal/tsm

spuddleduck;1612776 wrote: ahhw, im feeling all loved up here. its great that we can help and be helped at the same time (I would put a loved up smiley here but I keep losing them).
bky, I was looking back through this thread as I couldn't remember who's funeral it was and it really jumped out at me how different your posts sounded when you were drinking, especially drinking daily. you sound so much better now, positive and energised. if you have any doubts about your sobriety just have a read back and decide which 'you' you want to be. I still couldn't find who's funeral it is. the reason I was looking is that I read on the sober January thread that you are considering not going. just be sure you're not going to regret it, as you say though, it is for the living and you have to feel comfortable in yourself. I have to say, I think I would be tempted not to go. if it were me... and this is just how my daft head thinks, if I went and mr spuds stayed sober for me I would feel guilty (yes I know that's crazy), if mr spuds drank after saying he wouldnt I would resent it (again crazy).. so poor mr spuds would be in trouble whatever. theres always the chance that you could go and feel blooming marvellous that you are sober and in control while all around are being drunken idiots but only you knows if that is possible. the way you are sounding, all determined and positive that could well be a possibility. its gonna be a tough decision either way.

thanks for putting my 'good booze blast' into perspective, there is nothing 'good' about it at all. it really is mind trickery. I'm still feeling 'twitchy' about having a drink but I will be fighting it. I am trying to banish the evil thoughts of drinking without nal..... its too crazy for words, why the hell would I do that. I know for sure that if I did I would feel so miserable and pissed off at myself.... it would be enough to turn me to drink (ha ha). I have a dentist appointment this afternoon and I know I have a bad habit of going for a drink after appointments (why why why..... not a fecking clue) so im already putting my suit of armour on for the internal battle I will be having.

there used to be a thread here with quotes and sayings, I think chillgirl was very active on it... but it seems to have disappeared. there were some great words of wisdom to help us on our way.

has someone around here got 13 days af, hmm... well its not me, ukb is sailing into months of af, so who can it be.......... yeeeehaaaaaaa.... it must be bkyogagurl...... well done you!!!!!

Once again our great minds think alike....

I decided I'm not going. He was my uncle. I talked with my aunt and she said she understood me not going and supported me. :h
I won't regret it. I feel better already just stating that I am not going to go.
I do that exact same thing with Mr. BK :H. Sometimes he can't win. It cracked me up when I read that...
It's funny what triggers us to drink and the habits we developed for the pursuit of drinking. I have noticed that too. How bout after you dental appointment you go get a pedicure or buy yourself a nice lunch or get a massage so after you dental appointments in the future you could make a new habit so you will think in that direction instead of hitting the pub. I know it's hard BUT worth a try. I have been trying to develop new habits for drinking associated activities.. I have been treating myself to a manicure/pedicure on Thursdays so I feel pretty instead of drunk. And if you can believe it.... A mani/pedi does NOT cause a hangover...
Lightbulb..:wow:

I will go back and retread my posts but I know I will be embarrassed cause I know what I sound like. But good motivation and insight. Funny you say be the "you" you want to be..
Mr. Bk was just saying I'm like a different person. It just goes to show you how AL can screw up your mind & soul as well as your physical state of being.

DONT DO IT.... Partner please ALWAYS take your NAL... That is your crazy addicted mind trying to beat SuperDuck do not let it win... You are a champion! Remember that.

Thanks for giving me a cheer for my days.. I love it.. It keeps me going and makes my heart smile.:l

[bkyogagurl]

anyone on nal/tsm

skullbabyland;1612918 wrote: Just popping in to ya'alls thread to say hey and congrats bk on your 14 days... you're awesome, as are you all!

Thanks Skull for checking in on us... I need to get over to your thread and catch up as there is always good stuff there... All this mom and wife stuff keeps busy.
Happy 75 DAYS- Hulk.

[Yourfriend6116]

anyone on nal/tsm

Way to go bk! I'm right there with you! Isn't it a whole different game taking care of kids and not feeling like shit??
Spud- I'm following your journey also. Love everyone's positive words!