Bac old timer checking in

[SlipperyPete]

I first discovered baclofen a couple years ago while in an alcoholic mess, and I like to think that it saved my life. I remember reading about being able to moderate while taking bac and decided that's what I wanted to do, as opposed to being an alcoholic (yuk! ) and remaining abstinent.

After awhile of moderating, I found that alcohol wasn't really pleasurable anymore, and while my SE's weren't too bad, I decided to try to taper off bac completely. After about a year of being on bac (and some crazy bac zoominess in between), I was off all meds, had no cravings, a full-time job that I didn't mind (finally), and felt that most of my depression and anxiety had gone away.

For reasons that make me sound clinically insane, this year has been pretty rough for me and I went through a few phases of drinking again, along with complete despair and hopelessness. What's pretty cool about my relapse is that since I've been on bac, cravings are MUCH less intense (even when I'm not on it), so it seems that bac "fixes" part of the alcoholic reward system in the brain. In the cases of my relapse, I simply started bac again, switched, then tapered right off it.

This last relapse was pretty bad though, and I felt that I was guided towards AA (the one thing I've always dreaded :upset: ). That was three weeks ago, and I've found that sharing my fucked up thoughts in meetings and socializing more has helped my anxiety and depression immensely. Left to my own devices I will isolate and be perfectly happy with it, but then I'm sure in 30 years I'd look back and see that I missed out on life, which isn't something I really want to do. I'm trying to find meaning in life now and rejoin society, which I now have faith will happen as long as I keep taking the right steps and have some hope.

Baclofen for me is a miracle drug, and life improved a bunch after it got me sober, but I was still the same selfish, PARANOID, alcoholic underneath, and so I didn't make as much progress as I had hoped. I'm now trying a different route besides just using medication - fellowship, unity, and giving back to others.

Best wishes to everyone on their recovery, and if you have any questions about bac or alcoholism feel free to post here or send me a pm!

:thanks: for reading

[spiritwolf333]

Bac old timer checking in

Hey Sliip -thanks for ck in. Would you please also check in under the "long-term" thread? Really good info.

[Cassander]

Bac old timer checking in

SlipperyPete;1600944 wrote:

:thanks: for reading

No prob, Pete. So glad to "see" you back here.

Best wishes,

Cass

[bleep]

Bac old timer checking in

Pete, good to see you, and great to hear that you are still alive! You must be reasonably pleased as well I guess.

Thanks for checking in. Your cycles, for want of a better word, sound reasonably similar to mine, and I am slowly coming to the same sort of conclusions.

[Senin]

Bac old timer checking in

I respect you guys so much. So much info there. I am just starting my final battle with alcohol vs sobriety. I read the book a few years ago (my way out) then put it aside. I have been battling with beer at nite. I was thinking of new discipline steps for the new year, but you guys know how that goes. Then I saw this new amazing drug, balc..... Is this the answer?

Anyway I have lots of research to do.

[chelsea98]

Bac old timer checking in

its very good to read your story pete and I'm glad things are working out for you.

[Otter]

Bac old timer checking in

Hey Pete.

It is good to hear from you.

I have been wondering how you are getting on. I think you are right about the need to find some purpose and meaning in life. Viktor Frankl developed a school of psychotherapy around it which I learned about from a baclofen doctor when I was in the pits of despair:

"Freedom, however, is not the last word. Freedom is only part of the story and half of the truth. Freedom is but the negative aspect of the whole phenomenon whose positive aspect is responsibleness. In fact, freedom is in danger of degenerating into mere arbitrariness unless it is lived in terms of responsibleness. That is why I recommend that the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the West Coast.[6]
What was really needed was a fundamental change in our attitude toward life. We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life - daily and hourly. Our question must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual."
Man's Search for Meaning - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[Fred_The_Cat]

Bac old timer checking in

Pete,

Your thread brings up something very interesting.

You said you were moderating on bac for about a year and tapered off, and that the effect on your cravings was somewhat permanent. I have a few questions for you:

1: how much and how long were you drinking before bac?
2. What was your switch and maintenance dose?
3. What did you consider moderate drinking after you had switched?

[redhead77]

Bac old timer checking in

I think this thread must have fallen through the cracks for me. It's good to see you, SP! I'm glad you're doing well, and have come back to share it. Happy New Year to you! :l

[SlipperyPete]

Bac old timer checking in

Thanks for everyone's replies, and good to see all you people I haven't seen in a while. I'm working on my 4th step now and am already feeling a lot lighter and less self-absorbed. I have a feeling getting my 5th step done with will give me a lot of the anti-anxiety feeling that bac gave me, so am getting pretty excited for it

Fred: I started drinking around 16 and started bac when I was 25. I was drinking about 12 IPA's a night at the end, but of course some nights I'd drink more. I first switched at 120, drank through the switch, then re-switched at 150. I found I could get drunk at 240 mg/day and not having any cravings, but that ended up not being very enjoyable. The SE's of bac and the fact that getting drunk wasn't pleasurable anymore made me want to taper off bac completely. After I realized that getting drunk was lame, there were times when I would drink a beer or two with my team after I played an indoor soccer game. In the end though, I preferred being off bac completely over drinking socially. That's mainly due to the fact that I don't like medications, but also partly due to the somnolence of bac.

And happy new year to everyone! :bday2: