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[spiritwolf333]

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Yourfriend6116;1616144 wrote: HI All!!
Day 20 AF and I've gotta be honest, it's been a tough day. Everything is annoying me and I just wanted to vent. But I'm worried about what will happen when I have this day on Feb. 18...or March 10...etc, you know? Thanks everyone.

YF -What a great reminder. Worrying about the future as if I can do something about it today. For me, all that I can say is worrying helps keep my mind occupied. It is as if I always need to be in fear of something -so, I need to worry, right?

As an outsider, I see you as having had a great day -no alcohol and you overcame some crap. And as a reminder to yourself, you did not (or will not drink today), but who knows, you may or may not drink a month from now. Does it really matter? What about today?

Sounds to me like you are on the road to freedom.

[Samandkatharine]

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As an outsider, I see you as having had a great day -no alcohol and you overcame some crap. And as a reminder to yourself, you did not (or will not drink today), but who knows, you may or may not drink a month from now. Does it really matter? What about today?

Amen. I knew Spirit could lift yours.❤️

[Yourfriend6116]

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Thanks so much for all your kind words. I'm on day 3 of 80mg and just felt really weepy and annoyed all day. I did notice it really around my drinking time-which is also when I take my 3rd dose. After taking that dose and posting to mwo I started to feel more relaxed. Went to dinner with my family and then to the gym which REALLY helped. Then I come home to all of your kind words. THANK YOU!!
A little about my SE's
--since I've gone to 80 I've been really tired around 3-5pm-so I usually try to exercise then and it helps tremendously.
--I sometimes see traces of "things" that aren't there. Like when your mind plays tricks on you? This happened before bac so I'm not sure it's even a true SE.
--Tingling in my hands sometimes.
--Fantastic sleep! I mean FANTASTIC! I wake up refreshed and not tired at all. I usually wake up around 5 to go to the bathroom and even feel like I'm ready for the day then--but I get to go back to sleep -and can-till around 7 when I wake up so energized and talkative (I'm usually not a morning person--who is when you always have a hangover??)
I also stay up late and still wake up refreshed. When I was drinking I MADE myself go to bed at 11pm. I thought...alcoholics stay up late. I'm a mom...I go to bed after the news-no mention of the two bottles of wine that I'd finished. Now I can stay up till 11 and wake up still refreshed
--I ALWAYS have to pee! and LOTS. I thought it was just that I never peed in the past because I was so dehydrated (sometimes I would go from like 8am to 3 or 4 without peeing), but this is crazy. I actually don't mind it because I feel like my body is working better since I'm AF.
--I'm now taking L-Glutamine, GABBA, B complex, and milk thistle (liquid). I've read they are all good with detox. Please comment if you have any suggestions on this.
I've always liked iced tea (I live in the south) but now I really love hot tea. It gives me something to look forward to. Peppermint is my current fav--pls share suggestions if you have any.
Lastly, I've been watching lots of back episodes of In Treatment on HBO. Anyone watch it?
Thanks again, everyone! It means so much!!:blush::bow

[skullbabyland]

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Friend,
You're right at the point in new sobriety that it makes sense to be significantly more emotional, weepy, irritated, etc. It seems to hit so many of us right around 3 weeks, like clockwork. It sure did for me. At 4 weeks and onwards this should balance out more. Our alkie brains like to pout and be whiny when it's like "oh wait this no drinking thing may be more than a temporary anomoly..." We're re-training our brains to live healthy and sometimes it pushes back. I'm super glad that you lifted yourself out of the funk, the gym really helps a huge amount!

As to your SE's, I often felt the same ones you describe- tired in the afternoon, sensations of visual things in my periferal vision that aren't there. A little tingling in my hands when I was up at a higher dose. You're lucky though that you're getting such great sleep, I went the other way and had insomnia which sucked. These all evened out/went away after month 2 or so. I still get the periphry vision thing every now and then though.

I too became a morning person... early to bed, early to rise for me. I NEVER thought I would be this person... especially hung over every other day, it's easy to assume I was naturally a late riser, but I've found that was just from drinking alcholicly.

I also took milk thistle in some kind of liver health supplement for a my first couple sober months. I'm sure they helped as my last liver panel came back normal (thank God.)

I haven't seen In Treatment, is it good? I have too many shows already to watch, couch potato that I am!

Happy for your continued sobriety, keep it up!!!

[Yourfriend6116]

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Hi all!!
Wanted to check in with an update. Today is 30 days w/o AL for me!!! :happy::happy:
So far, Baclofen has answered my prayers! I haven't ever been able to fight off my alcohol cravings or my mental alcohol roller coaster for this long in years. I'm currently on 100 mg/day and I'm on day 40 of my Bac. I also exercise regularly. Running about 15 miles a week.
Tonight was a real test since my husband is out of town it was the perfect chance for me to drink since no one would know. I was out without kids today-perfect chance to pick up wine-but I didn't!! :yay:
SE's-
Daytime tiredness. If I'm moving about this isn't an issue. Sitting around I can barely keep my eyes open
Sometimes I forget stuff I've JUST done. For ex-sometimes after I finish a run I can't remember parts of it. Like, "I don't remember running by that building but I know I did??" I also sometimes feel like I'm watching myself do stuff--like I'm in a game or something.
Still peeing a ton.
Still sleeping like a log! Best sleep ever.
I'm not sure if I'm at my "switch" but going this long w o drinking and not caving tonight are huge steps for me.
Thanks to everyone who has chimed in on my ride this far!! The help means a lot :thanks:

[Samandkatharine]

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:grouptrophy:

You deserve the above!!

As for,the Bac brain...
:brainfart:

I can't remember what I had for dinner last night. People think I drunk post on Facebook and I'm sober at the moment. I hear it goes away.

Enjoy your alone time..it's more fun sober anyway!

Sam

[Yourfriend6116]

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Thanks!!! Couldn't have done the whole Bac sitch w/o your support!!:l:l

[kronkcarr]

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Yourfriend6116,

Congratulations. It feels great, doesn't it? Keep on, my friend.

[Jazi's Mum]

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Wonderful news :goodjob:

The SEs with bac are certainly do-able eh? if you get such great results. We're all so happy for you :l:l

And don't worry about what will happen with your drinking in the future! There is only the NOW :h

[skullbabyland]

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Congratulations, YF! 30 days is huuuuge and you're awesome

[spiritwolf333]

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Rock on YF! Congrats. Huge deal on 30.

[Yourfriend6116]

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Hello all,
Just wanted to update my thread. I'm on day 39AF and day 49 of Bac. I'm on day one of 160mg. My SE's are the same as listed in my previous posts. The sleepiness is the only real solid SE I've had so far.
I also wanted to be honest and let you all know that I plan to drink tonight My HS girlfriends and I have had a mom's night out planned for tonight since before I even started my bac journey. When I started counting days I had no idea I'd even get this far, to be quite honest! I never really planned to start counting my days, but once I started the bac I wanted to get a chunk of AF time in my system to help the bac work it's best. I think i've done that and I'm looking forward to see how my body will respond to alcohol after this AF time and with the bac. My ideal situation is that I can have 1 or 2 and be good with that. The worst case scenario is...well we all know that. I've also read enough on the boards to know what a bad idea so many of you believe this is. Despite this, I wanted to keep my thread real and keep my baclofen experience on here with everyone real and legit. I'll check in later tonight after my girls night. Thanks in advance for your feedback-it's what I value so much about this environment. :thanks:

[spiritwolf333]

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Hi YF... Great post. Only out of curiosity; why did you decide tonight with friends would be the time that you experimented with alcohol? 39 days free from hell and to test out your indifference with drinking friends? Yea, I probably would have done the same.

[Yourfriend6116]

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Thanks, spirit, for your comment! I survived! I drank 5 glasses of wine. So it seems I haven't reached my point of indifference. Good to know. I don't have a hang over, but I also am reminded about why I don't want to drink anymore. I'm so tired! I usually wake up with so much energy-but obvi-not today. I do feel like I did learn something, though. I don't have the desire to drink again. I actually didn't even have the desire last night, I just really wanted to see where I am in my baclofen journey. Spirit--again--thanks so much for chiming in last night. Your comment really mattered to me and it didn't make me feel judged. Instead, it was one alcoholic talking to another and sharing feelings (which are usually very similar..odd, huh? lol)
Enough of the rambling-I feel that bac is working. I don't want to get back on the alcohol tread mill and I feel like I have a new mind that allows me to make that decision.:h:h

[Samandkatharine]

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I would have done the same. The curiosity is what gets us most times at this stage, not an urge. If you had the urge you would have caved long ago.

The fact that you didn't come out of your experience clamoring for more shows me you are there, but need some minor adjustments. Can you keep the same friends and just go out for a movie night? My social network now involves baseball season for my son, and baseball involves lots of post game dinners/beer. I switched Williams team because the former teams coach lived on a vineyard. Now his team has lots of non drinking families and Grand parents. I will have fun!

:goodjob:

Sam