Started on Bac ... But Will I Stop?

[Mandiekinz]

Started on Bac ... But Will I Stop?

Hey, one bottle is better than two.

Glad you're feeling better today. The sleepiness generally fades with adjustments. I used to tell my SO that I would see him later that week after each dose-up. hehe

Also, with your attempts with sobriety, it can also cause a fluctuation with libido. Our brains are used to working on "reptilian" mode...eating, breathing, fornicating, and fighting...It's a change of pace for us once we let our other brain systems kick in. It's all about the rewiring, my friend.

Good luck with your reductions! Bac has shown good results for aiding with alcohol withdrawal, though. Do keep in mind that if you ever find yourself having withdrawal symptoms to seek immediate medical care.

[Accel7]

Started on Bac ... But Will I Stop?

Thank you, again, Mandiekinz, for your thoughtful and helpful post. Yes, I'm sure it's both the bac AND the sudden decrease in AL that's messing with my libido (AL always revved me up!--for some reason, esp with a hangover).

Today I'm dealing with a new SE ... At the risk of sharing TMI ... I am severely, painfully, uh, backed up. Never happened to me in my entire life (I've always been as regular as a Rolex). It's brutal. Will need to be extra diligent on the water and fiber intake, as I'm sure the bac is relaxing my innards to detrimental effect.

Okay. Enough for now...

[kronkcarr]

Started on Bac ... But Will I Stop?

Thomas,

Thanks for your posts. I appreciate them. I believe it's important to hear everyone's experiences.

[spiritwolf333]

Started on Bac ... But Will I Stop?

[QUOTE=Accel7;1613660]
Today I'm dealing with a new SE ... At the risk of sharing TMI ... I am severely, painfully, uh, backed up. Never happened to me in my entire life (I've always been as regular as a Rolex). It's brutal. Will need to be extra diligent on the water and fiber intake, as I'm sure the bac is relaxing my innards to detrimental effect.QUOTE]

From my experience, the removal of alcohol alone -either partially or totally was a total shock to my entire system -mental and physical. Our brains and bodies go haywire when we remove the poison. And then, add a new medication on top of that and we might really be for an out-of-control roller coaster ride.

All (most) of my baclofen side effects have subsided after 10 months and mostly af. Not being able to finish during the "main -fun- event" was the bothersome. But, I got to remember that I am taking somewhat of a "muscle relaxant". Irregular bm-s are still a problem. Partly baclofen -partly poor lifestyle choices. And damn, at my age, the bm is an important for reading and dispensing.

[Jazi's Mum]

Started on Bac ... But Will I Stop?

Can I chime in on the BM front? Adding more fibre can be counter-productive. From my personal experience adding more fat, like coconut oil will do the job. Go up slowly but try to add it to tea or coffee in the morning.

And our old pal magnesium can help too.
JMum

[Accel7]

Started on Bac ... But Will I Stop?

Agree, spiritwolf333: my system is in shock. All of this--the intro of bac, the sig reduction of AL--is totally new. My guts don't like it one bit. Gonna titrate down a tad for a bit. My chest pressure has diminished, happily, but the stuck guts and low libido really suck. And, yes, Jmum: adding magnesium and cocoanut oil already. Wish me luck.

[Samandkatharine]

Started on Bac ... But Will I Stop?

I ditto Jazi on the Magnesium. 400mg daily. Our bodies are deficient in this mineral anyway. And ditto on good fats. Jazi, are you into nutrition? I love coconut oil! Great to cook with and good for skin and hair.

I never thought about Bac causing irregularity. Makes sense tho.

Sam.

[skullbabyland]

Started on Bac ... But Will I Stop?

Accel- just caught up on your thread and I have some thoughts. I experienced many of the same SE's you describe and I can tell you that, for me, they definitely did go away with some time. Yes, they can suck for a while! Paricularly the waking up gasping for breath thing. I got it a lot the first couple months. While scary, it did go away.

Also irregularities with sleep and digestive... yep they can be problematic with bac, but just as Spirit commented a week or so ago on a different thread, I suspect that many SE's that get attributed to bac are actually from years of our bodies dealing with alcohol abuse, as well as the sudden diminished alcohol intake/withdrawals. We've been putting our bodies through overtime hell for so long that it is constantly playing catchup to process all the poison. Then, when we suddenly diminish our intake our body has to adjust. I know both sleep and gut health/irregularities are VERY VERY affected by my alcohol intake or lack thereof.

Not to diminish bac SE's, which are very real, just thought I'd throw that out there. All that said, much of this should balance out soon and the SE's should diminish for most people. If you have real concerns though, a physical checkup with a doctor would be a good idea.

[Accel7]

Started on Bac ... But Will I Stop?

Thank you for sharing, skullbabyland. I'm actually starting to feel a bit better ... the breathing and chest-pressure issues have diminished, and my guts are more or less back to normal. And I'm now up to 140mg/day. Still have not "switched." In fact, last night I felt REALLY spacey/loopy, tho I did manage not to drink anything. Slept well, too.
The night before I had two big Sapporo beers and a shot of tequila, but I'd also taken some Naltrexone. Managed to stop with that and go home and not drink anything more. For me, that's a sign of progress. Normally I just keep drinking until I fall asleep.
The fact that I'm not getting the chest pressure nearly as bad is a big uplift. I do still feel some damped libido, though (tho everything still "works" just fine!). Just not as "wired" sexually as I usually am, and I don't like that. Hoping once I switch I can titrate back down eventually and get some of the old drive back.

Thanks again for the input.

[Jazi's Mum]

Started on Bac ... But Will I Stop?

Accel7, just stopping by to say hello and glad those breathing scares have diminished somewhat. I've not experienced that but I'm only at 80mg/day.

It's good to read your experiences with the bac, and nal too. Thanks for keeping us posted.
JMum

[skullbabyland]

Started on Bac ... But Will I Stop?

Hi Accel, glad to hear that the SE's are diminishing somewhat for you. Also cool to hear that you use Nal in conjunction with the bac protocol-- sounds like you use it in the TSM method (one hour before drinking)? It's a great tool and if I go back to trying to drink moderately, I'll be always using Nal/TSM paired with bac- it's a great combination for continued treatment if you do not decide to go completely AF.

As for the libido change, well, I can relate- my drinking was very tied in with my libido, I could be really in the mood when drinking or also oddly when hungover (for me I think it was a way to self-soothe all the troubling feelings when hungover). Drinking supercharged my sense of flirtation, mental stimulation, lessened inhibitions, so I relied on it heavily for my sexual life. My sex life while sober is still finding its balance, and I'm ok letting that happen slowly over time. I find my interest is there once or twice a week, which is on the low side, but my level of bold flirtiness/initiation etc is much less pronounced, even on the shy side now. That's OK with me. Thankfully no bac-related SE's as far as everything working physically as it should. You'll find your interest level balancing out too I'm sure.

Keep us updated and good luck with everything. How long sinice you started on bac, and how many AF days do you have?

EDIT- just re-read that you started bac about a month ago and titrated up fast- this is probably the reason for the pronounced SE's and should likely even out when you steady your dose for a while. Good luck!

[Accel7]

Started on Bac ... But Will I Stop?

Sorry to be so tardy in updating this thread ... truth is, lately i just feel like shit.

JMum: thank you for the very sweet "check in." I appreciate your dropping by to see how I'm doing. Feels good to know there is a community out there listening.

Skull: Thanks for your extremely helpful comments. I read through, in its entirety, your remarkable Journey thread. Gives me some hope that this Bac thing may work out long-term (and right now I need something to grasp onto). Also seems like we have a lot in common. We're both creatives (I'm a professional writer), take similar meds (I'm on Lexapro for depression, plus the omeprazole for GERD), similar drinking history, similar tendency toward shyness/being reserved. Anyway, here's an update on where I'm at, and why I'm so down right now:

Baclofen after one month ... AF: 4, SEs: 10. Managed to go about four nights with nothing at all to drink since starting bac. Now up to 120 mg/day (I got as high as 140 but went back down, just too loopy to stay at that dose). I feel nothing like a switch, or even close. My drinking might be down a bit, but I really think that's more related to feeling tired, just not even having the energy to stay up and drink. But I still want it. Unfortunately, the SEs are still strong. The chest pressure and breathing issues have diminished a lot, fortunately, but I'm still out of it. I'm teetering with becoming a Howard Hughes clone: don't want to go out, not much interest in doing anything. Fortunately (or not), because I'm self-employed right now I can do nothing and get away with it (until the money runs out, of course). I've got no motivation at all to sit down and write--much less map out my future. I was patting myself on the back this morning simply for picking up the phone and making a haircut appointment for tomorrow. Then I took a long 4-mile walk. For me, those are huge steps right now. Didn't want to do either, but I forced myself. I felt like the Walking Dead out there, though ...

Naltrexone not working. I've now taken Nal four times prior to the last four nights of drinking, 50mg about an hour before the first glass. Doesn't seem to do a thing. I was hoping for that "opiate-receptor shutoff," but in my case nothing happens. Still get a good buzz as usual, still want more. Last night, on Nal, I polished off a bottle of red wine then, terrified, realized I might not have any more AL in the house. Fortunately, I still had enough white in the fridge for one more big glass. If I'd had more I'd have drunk it, too. What a loser. I'll keep taking the Nal for now. Been following UKBlonde's thread about her successful TSM journey with Nal, and she said it does have an effect over time. But so far I've noticed absolutely nothing. No SEs, no effect on drinking whatsoever.

On top of everything else, my life is a total shit right now. To quote Lloyd Bridges from "Airplane": "I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue." Last year was very successful for me financially. Unfortunately, I did better than I realized, and I'm pretty sure I'm about to get socked with a huge tax bill. Worse, both big projects I worked on last year were not renewed for 2014. So right now I've got nothing: no work, no prospects ... just bills, a rapidly diminishing savings account, and a looming tax bill that may wipe me out completely. I could use a stiff drink ...

I'm trying to stay positive, but with the way the Bac is playing with my system I'm finding it hard even to think about what to do next. Truth is, I need a major reboot, and I couldn't be in worse condition right now to dig myself out.

My depression ... the "black dog" ... is crushing me. Hate to admit it, but I even find myself thinking about "the Big S" as a way out. I don't think I'd ever kill myself ... I have a beautiful wife and daughter and could never do that to them. Really. At the same time, can't say that I'm in a very good place if I'm even entertaining those thoughts. I look at my life insurance and realize I'm worth a whole lot more dead than alive. Just that fact alone is depressing. Of course, there's a vicious circle at work, too: the depression and/or bac is killing my libido (everything still works, but I just have little to no desire). Which, in turn, makes me even more depressed. I've always been an extremely sexual person, and live for that fire within. With that now diminished to embers, I feel completely cut off, emotionless, dead inside.

Anyway ... all in all not too good at the moment. Feel like I've got a long way to go with the bac dosage before I reach my switch, but right now the SEs are holding me back (really jealous of those who switched at 140mg or lower). And was hoping the Nal would help curb my intake when I do drink, but thus far it's seems to have no effect (maybe I should try 100mg?).

Not going to off myself; not to worry about that. Just venting the dark cloud that's seized my brain of late. I'll check in again soon. With luck with a more uplifting post.

[spiritwolf333]

Started on Bac ... But Will I Stop?

Accel7;1617115 wrote: Sorry to be so tardy in updating this thread ... truth is, lately i just feel like shit.

I'm teetering with becoming a Howard Hughes clone: don't want to go out, not much interest in doing anything. Fortunately (or not), because I'm self-employed right now I can do nothing and get away with it (until the money runs out, of course). I've got no motivation at all to sit down and write--much less map out my future. I was patting myself on the back this morning simply for picking up the phone and making a haircut appointment for tomorrow. Then I took a long 4-mile walk. For me, those are huge steps right now. Didn't want to do either, but I forced myself. I felt like the Walking Dead out there, though ...

Naltrexone not working. I've now taken Nal four times prior to the last four nights of drinking, 50mg about an hour before the first glass. Doesn't seem to do a thing. I was hoping for that "opiate-receptor shutoff," but in my case nothing happens. Still get a good buzz as usual, still want more. Last night, on Nal, I polished off a bottle of red wine then, terrified, realized I might not have any more AL in the house. Fortunately, I still had enough white in the fridge for one more big glass. If I'd had more I'd have drunk it, too. What a loser. I'll keep taking the Nal for now. Been following UKBlonde's thread about her successful TSM journey with Nal, and she said it does have an effect over time. But so far I've noticed absolutely nothing. No SEs, no effect on drinking whatsoever.

On top of everything else, my life is a total shit right now. To quote Lloyd Bridges from "Airplane": "I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue." Last year was very successful for me financially. Unfortunately, I did better than I realized, and I'm pretty sure I'm about to get socked with a huge tax bill. Worse, both big projects I worked on last year were not renewed for 2014. So right now I've got nothing: no work, no prospects ... just bills, a rapidly diminishing savings account, and a looming tax bill that may wipe me out completely. I could use a stiff drink ...

I'm trying to stay positive, but with the way the Bac is playing with my system I'm finding it hard even to think about what to do next. Truth is, I need a major reboot, and I couldn't be in worse condition right now to dig myself out.

My depression ... the "black dog" ... is crushing me. Hate to admit it, but I even find myself thinking about "the Big S" as a way out. I don't think I'd ever kill myself ... I have a beautiful wife and daughter and could never do that to them. Really. At the same time, can't say that I'm in a very good place if I'm even entertaining those thoughts. I look at my life insurance and realize I'm worth a whole lot more dead than alive. Just that fact alone is depressing. Of course, there's a vicious circle at work, too: the depression and/or bac is killing my libido (everything still works, but I just have little to no desire). Which, in turn, makes me even more depressed. I've always been an extremely sexual person, and live for that fire within. With that now diminished to embers, I feel completely cut off, emotionless, dead inside.

Anyway ... all in all not too good at the moment. Feel like I've got a long way to go with the bac dosage before I reach my switch, but right now the SEs are holding me back (really jealous of those who switched at 140mg or lower). And was hoping the Nal would help curb my intake when I do drink, but thus far it's seems to have no effect (maybe I should try 100mg?).

Not going to off myself; not to worry about that. Just venting the dark cloud that's seized my brain of late. I'll check in again soon. With luck with a more uplifting post.

Alex -Hi. Please don't take me the wrong way but this is funny as hell. I'm only laughing because we could just switch names out and the story would remain the same. Look, becoming alcohol free is pure hell -baclofen or not. For me, it was like coming out of one nightmare and entering another. Until you get a little af time under your belt, just blame alcohol. Forget to walk the dog and it craps in the house the house; blame the alcohol withdrawal -whatever. It just takes time. Congrats on the 4 days and the hair appointment. Just damn. Can we really believe that this is where our lives have landed -after all, we are much smarter and better than all this -right? Just a thought.

[Accel7]

Started on Bac ... But Will I Stop?

Well, SpiritWolf, not exactly the response I was expecting ... but I do get where you're coming from. Yeah, who'd have thunk we'd have landed here? An IQ test once put me at 157--supposedly smart, yet here I am, totally lost, trying to shake off the grip of alcohol, currently unemployed. "Smarts" don't count for much. And I hear you on the hell bit ... bac or not, this was never going to be a pleasant journey.

Funny, though, after reading Dr. A's book--which I really enjoyed--I somehow expected an easier go of it once the bac started flowing. He mentions an almost immediate sense of calmness, of quieted anxiety, upon his first doses of bac. I've experienced nothing of the sort. In fact, my response has been pretty much the opposite: I'm tense, wired, clenching my jaw all the time. I'm fatigued but not calm, a very strange combo, I must say. Sometimes my heart seems to run fast, too. I was hoping bac would provide a relief from the shyness/anxiety/general social disorder that probably leads me to drink, but thus far I haven't felt it.

OK, I did manage to notch another AF night yesterday (actually, was so drugged out and tired I went to bed at 9PM--but at least I didn't drink). I guess that's better than guzzling wine and/or vodka, but crashing when the night is young isn't that appealing, either.

Ok, so I'm blaming alcohol (or the lack of it) for my current world of shit. And--whooo hooo!--I did go out and get my hair cut today.

Baby steps ...

[spiritwolf333]

Started on Bac ... But Will I Stop?

Accel7;1617524 wrote: Yeah, who'd have thunk we'd have landed here? yet here I am, totally lost, trying to shake off the grip of alcohol, currently unemployed. "Smarts" don't count for much. And I hear you on the hell bit ... bac or not, this was never going to be a pleasant journey.

Funny, though, after reading Dr. A's book--which I really enjoyed--I somehow expected an easier go of it once the bac started flowing. He mentions an almost immediate sense of calmness, of quieted anxiety, upon his first doses of bac. I've experienced nothing of the sort. In fact, my response has been pretty much the opposite: I'm tense, wired, clenching my jaw all the time. I'm fatigued but not calm, a very strange combo, I must say. Sometimes my heart seems to run fast, too. I was hoping bac would provide a relief from the shyness/anxiety/general social disorder that probably leads me to drink, but thus far I haven't felt it.

OK, I did manage to notch another AF night yesterday (actually, was so drugged out and tired I went to bed at 9PM--but at least I didn't drink). I guess that's better than guzzling wine and/or vodka, but crashing when the night is young isn't that appealing, either.

Ok, so I'm blaming alcohol (or the lack of it) for my current world of shit. And--whooo hooo!--I did go out and get my hair cut today.

Alex -Thanks for your honesty ...and what a good thread.

You see, at least for me and other bottom-line alcoholics, what you are describing is alcohol withdrawal reality. Its so hard to see past the current moment of the pain from withdrawal. In your mind, or I would so suspect, you are saying that all would be ok and you could think things thru better if you had some alcohol. And given the circumstances, you are probably right.

Look, I am no professional counselor, doctor, etc. I am just another alcoholic who finally was able to break thru the wall of desperation - and I give baclofen almost all the credit. However, I also must say that my first thirty af free days were scrutinized by a third party and that helped me tremendously (along with some initial detox services). I now look at some of the folks here on mwo an trudging their own road without any outside help and I am amazed. Sign on to the Jaun's 30 day abstinence thread -what a positive support thread.

And as stupid-ridiculous-crazy as it may sound to the outside world, just making the smallest decisions and choices in early recovery is huge -or at least it was for me -and I am still laughing at me (but it damn sure wasn't funny at the time). One step at a time -or so I have been told.