BK's Naltrexone journey....

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

skullbabyland;1657553 wrote: BK, just thought I'd pop in and say hi-- you sound like you're doing great! Keep that memory of the terrible post-drinking anxiety fresh in your mind, since it helps to keep you from doing it again. So cool that you're enjoying the AF life, with all that comes with it- workouts, nutrition, and best of all, being present and happy for your kiddos. SO awesome. You RAAAAAWWWWK (said with cookie-monster metal singer yelly voice)
Love ya!

Skull!!!! Thanks for coming by.. My main green man.

You sound good to my friend. I am hoping that your sober life is keeping you busy and happy. How is training going for you?

Love ya back! :thanks:

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

jane27;1657575 wrote: BK, hooray for the good days! My God has this been a roller coaster ride. I had no idea what was going on in the world of unchemically managed moods. What kind of diet are you doing? I did 9 days of master cleanse a few weeks back. It's rough, but it gets the job done quickly. I'm going to do some back reading. That way I won't be asking you questions you've already answered. X

Thanks Jane!

I'm doing a meal plan via a trainer to shed some fat but mostly to build muscle. I got skinny fat running a lot.

Ask any question you want I don't mind... I like to talk about things even if it's over again. It's therapeutic for me.

You didn't say what's happening with you. You abstinent or moderating or still fighting the beast?

I'm pooped tonight so I will be back with an update.

[skullbabyland]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

bkyogagurl;1657782 wrote: Skull!!!! Thanks for coming by.. My main green man.

You sound good to my friend. I am hoping that your sober life is keeping you busy and happy. How is training going for you?

Love ya back! :thanks:

Training is going well except for last weekend, when my GF surprised me with a beach-cabin weekend getaway with a bunch of friends. Junk food ensued, an epic sugar-treats junk binge... I might as well have been Homer Simpson in the magic land of chocolate.

So, now I'm back on to my restricted diet-- though I like it, I feel really full most of the time on it-- I'm restricted in some ways but encouraged to eat a LOT in others.

Weight training is good, I'm on a 'cut' so I'm not actively building muscle at the moment-- just focusing on losing fat while maintaining muscle tissue. It's working nicely and I'm losing weight (aside from last weekend's epic binge...)

I posted a lengthy update on my Progress thread yesterday with lots more details on how things are going lately if you're interested

How bout you, how's training going on your end?

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

jane27;1658350 wrote: Hi BK & Skull,

BK, isn't skinny fat a mofo? I find weight lifting such a drag. Unless of course it's done with a smokin hot male trainer. Makes me miss the early 90s. I am pages into your thread and loving it. I can totally relate to the emotional rollercoaster ride. I never know what's being served for lunch, until lunch is being served.
As of today I am 121 days, and that's my record. Tried to quit on here in 2012, made it 57 days, and then drank steavily for 2 years. I quit my job in November and that made quitting much more feasible. It has been a trip, but even on the hard days, I can still see the gold Peking out from under the mud.

Skull, where is your thread!? Your girlfriend sounds awesome. I've been snarfing down Atkins bars by the box ever since my husband found out he had diabetes 2 weeks ago. I buy them to "help him". I had him bring me 3 with a cup of coffee for breakfast. I guess I have not much shame.

Wishing you both a great day. Xo

Jane... You made me giggle out loud. Your cool... I feel ya with weight lifting. Why is it that I can go out and run 10 miles and feel like a million bucks but an hour in the the gym is almost painful. I was talking to a gal yesterday and she was saying how some make it a meditation I will have to dip into my zen and see if it's there...
121 days girl you RAWK! Glad you are feel solid and happy about it. Nice to hear...

My trainer is nice looking but the fact that he could be my son is a real buzz kill. He is a good guy and I like to talk to him.

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Skull- your girlfriend is such a sweetie pie for surprising you.. It's just nice to relax an be supported.

I am not in the cutting process yet. I think I have a few weeks to go then I will start.
I tried to make a couple protein pancakes this am which was an epic fail. I get bored quickly with meal plans and always trying to alter my food in different shapes and sizing... Probably why I am not losing any weight.:durn:
I think I am exchanging muscle for fat but I still like to see the scale do down..


As for me.. I am still holding steady with no feelings of drinking. It's funny cause you see all the drink recipes for cinco de mayo... And I think that looks good but I can't help but remember how long my down time is afterward and I'm just willing to go there.
Hope all are having a good "HUMP" day pronounced "HuuuuuumP Daaaaay" here is my house.

Be back soon,

[skullbabyland]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

bkyogagurl;1658383 wrote: Skull- your girlfriend is such a sweetie pie for surprising you.. It's just nice to relax an be supported.

I am not in the cutting process yet. I think I have a few weeks to go then I will start.
I tried to make a couple protein pancakes this am which was an epic fail. I get bored quickly with meal plans and always trying to alter my food in different shapes and sizing... Probably why I am not losing any weight.:durn:
I think I am exchanging muscle for fat but I still like to see the scale do down..


As for me.. I am still holding steady with no feelings of drinking. It's funny cause you see all the drink recipes for cinco de mayo... And I think that looks good but I can't help but remember how long my down time is afterward and I'm just willing to go there.
Hope all are having a good "HUMP" day pronounced "HuuuuuumP Daaaaay" here is my house.

Be back soon,
Morning, Supergirl! Yes my GF is a total sweetheart and unbelievably supportive. I'm super grateful, as I often say in Spirit's daily Gratitude challenge. Have you seen that thread yet? Such a great daily thread. https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...-51-90061.html

Glad to hear you're holding steady... Yep I too find that keeping memories fresh in my mind of excrutiating long recovery periods really helps keep me on track. Checking in MWO daily helps me do that cuz I keep reading lots of good reminders.

As for training, maybe at some point we can swap pointers/trainers philosophy, I find this fitness world very interesting. How long are you building muscle vs. cutting, and are you working towards a milestone? I for one am doing a 12 week cut with my trainer and then we'll go to a lean bulk. Haha such silly terminology.

Have a great day my friend!

jane27;1658350 wrote: Hi BK & Skull,

BK, isn't skinny fat a mofo? I find weight lifting such a drag. Unless of course it's done with a smokin hot male trainer. Makes me miss the early 90s. I am pages into your thread and loving it. I can totally relate to the emotional rollercoaster ride. I never know what's being served for lunch, until lunch is being served.
As of today I am 121 days, and that's my record. Tried to quit on here in 2012, made it 57 days, and then drank steavily for 2 years. I quit my job in November and that made quitting much more feasible. It has been a trip, but even on the hard days, I can still see the gold Peking out from under the mud.

Skull, where is your thread!? Your girlfriend sounds awesome. I've been snarfing down Atkins bars by the box ever since my husband found out he had diabetes 2 weeks ago. I buy them to "help him". I had him bring me 3 with a cup of coffee for breakfast. I guess I have not much shame.

Wishing you both a great day. Xo

Hi Jane, my thread is in the meds section since it talks frequently about baclofen and antabuse. But if that's not your bag, don't let that deter you- we talk about lots of other good stuff too, there's oftentimes some nice discussion going on, or other times it's just my rambling You can find it here- https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...-43-77326.html

Super congratulations on 121 days, that is FANTASTIC, keep up the momentum and you'll soon be feeling like a superhero As for training, its funny, I find running to be agony but I totally enjoy weightlifting... and as for hot trainers, I think if I was working with a hot lady trainer I'd find it too distracting, haha. I like to get zen with it. I recently heard on a health podcast that breathing both in and out through the nostrils helps to get us in whatever kind of zen focused brainwaves, it does seem to work nicely...

Oh and yep, my gf is a total sweetheart. She puts up with my Spartan (boring?) lifestyle (no unhealthy eating, bed by 9pm etc) so I can't complain about a bit of fun every once in a while

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

I've heard about AT but does it really work??

Good morning my friends.

Checking in here... I have been having thoughts of drinking... cinco de mayo shit every where.
I want to get thru this weekend I really do.. I want to plants flowers and work on my yard and spend time with my kiddos without the influence of AL.
My training and things are wearing me down so I am thinking of slowing it up. My trainer does not know my struggles so he doesn't understand the vunerability I suffer and how food can be helpful to make it thru some of times when I want to drink. I am in debate whether to tell him.
I decided to forego the party with my husband but with him away I sometimes feel it's a little permission slip to do what I want. This is where I have to dig really deep and decide exactly what I want for myself..
Happy healthy sober or drunk confused and full of anxiety... Why is it your mind always says well you don't have to get drunk... Well yes I probably will. Cause I can't have just one... I have tried it like 14 million times and about 13 million times I have failed.
I am trying to figure the emotions that are behind the thoughts because that usually is a driving force for me to drink... I think in a way I want to go to the party but don't feel I would fit in and I am actually using AL as an excuse not to go... The wife that is putting in the party has been somewhat fake to me and I don't feel like supporting her.
My husband is going to go have all this "fun" without me by my choice on Mother's Day weekend.

There just got a few thoughts down. That will do for now.
Well I have another busy day so I will be back later.

[skullbabyland]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Hi BK-- Yeah I know the feeling. Drinking thoughts are so sneaky and manipulative. The alcoholic brain wants us to say "fuck it I'm sick of fighting, I'll just drink and deal with the ramifications later".

Sounds like you know that it's unlikely you'll stop at a few drinks and not get drunk... Yep sad to say that is the predicament we all find ourselves in but it's good for us to remind ourselves of that fact.

Remember what will come with a night of drinking- a few days of feeling sick, depressed, anxious, unhappy.

OK anyway I'll stop now, you already know the deal

[YouKayBee]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

bkyogagurl;1658817 wrote: I've heard about AT but does it really work??

Good morning my friends.

Checking in here... I have been having thoughts of drinking... cinco de mayo shit every where.
I want to get thru this weekend I really do.. I want to plants flowers and work on my yard and spend time with my kiddos without the influence of AL.
My training and things are wearing me down so I am thinking of slowing it up. My trainer does not know my struggles so he doesn't understand the vunerability I suffer and how food can be helpful to make it thru some of times when I want to drink. I am in debate whether to tell him.
I decided to forego the party with my husband but with him away I sometimes feel it's a little permission slip to do what I want. This is where I have to dig really deep and decide exactly what I want for myself..
Happy healthy sober or drunk confused and full of anxiety... Why is it your mind always says well you don't have to get drunk... Well yes I probably will. Cause I can't have just one... I have tried it like 14 million times and about 13 million times I have failed.
I am trying to figure the emotions that are behind the thoughts because that usually is a driving force for me to drink... I think in a way I want to go to the party but don't feel I would fit in and I am actually using AL as an excuse not to go... The wife that is putting in the party has been somewhat fake to me and I don't feel like supporting her.
My husband is going to go have all this "fun" without me by my choice on Mother's Day weekend.

There just got a few thoughts down. That will do for now.
Well I have another busy day so I will be back later.

Hi BK

Just to let you know I have been reading, but my brain has been full of studies.

Re the trainer thing, I tried a trainer who knew but had no understanding, when I flipped up the response wasn't helpful. I then resolved to always work with someone who not only knew but also had experience of addiction/comfort eating. I found the responses much better to work with.

So my advice would be to be honest if you do veer off and see what their reactions are(of course if you don't veer and their plan works then you don't get to that).

Hope you are going well.:l

[skullbabyland]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Forgot to mention about the Armour Thyroid medication- Yep, I think it may be a slightly more old-school treatment as most thyroid meds nowadays are synthetic. I don't mind taking the organic kind though, it is still a medication after all and yep I am sure it works to some degree- my thyroid levels are usually in the normal range for years now, though this can change a bit from time to time. I suspect that's due to diet variations. I'm actually going to see an endocrinologist soon and get more info on that and all other hormone function.

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

YouKayBee- thanks for stopping by it's always nice to see you.

I am still struggling with my drinking. I drank the past 2 nights but it was relatively undramatic.
I don't have the self loathing and hate going on. I feel I am working thru some emotional issues. I know I will figure out what is happening with me one way or another.. I have really been trying to evaluate the driving emotions behind the drinking... And to be honest I have been able to pull quite a bit about myself out it.
I know I am still dealing with low self esteem. I will have to find some tools to dig into this.
I have decided to bag the naltrexone. It makes me feel worse than when I don't use it. It seems it exacerbates my anxiety to higher levels. I don't why? I am able to deal with my emotions better when I don't use it.
If my drinking continues to increase again... I will consider some other options.

It's mothers day weekend- and I must say it makes me sad to know I won't be spending it with my mom..
Because she isn't my mom... She is a lady who gave birth to me at a very young age...
Maybe she did the best she could with what she had.... Drugs suck and they make you do and say things that aren't good.

It's hard to come here and be honest and say I drank... It's easier to run away.. But I am going to keep trying and I suppose I might drink tonight.. I hope not.
It's just a tough spot and I will get thru it.

[YouKayBee]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

bkyogagurl;1659737 wrote: YouKayBee- thanks for stopping by it's always nice to see you.

I am still struggling with my drinking. I drank the past 2 nights but it was relatively undramatic.
I don't have the self loathing and hate going on. I feel I am working thru some emotional issues. I know I will figure out what is happening with me one way or another.. I have really been trying to evaluate the driving emotions behind the drinking... And to be honest I have been able to pull quite a bit about myself out it.
I know I am still dealing with low self esteem. I will have to find some tools to dig into this.
I have decided to bag the naltrexone. It makes me feel worse than when I don't use it. It seems it exacerbates my anxiety to higher levels. I don't why? I am able to deal with my emotions better when I don't use it.
If my drinking continues to increase again... I will consider some other options.

It's mothers day weekend- and I must say it makes me sad to know I won't be spending it with my mom..
Because she isn't my mom... She is a lady who gave birth to me at a very young age...
Maybe she did the best she could with what she had.... Drugs suck and they make you do and say things that aren't good.

It's hard to come here and be honest and say I drank... It's easier to run away.. But I am going to keep trying and I suppose I might drink tonight.. I hope not.
It's just a tough spot and I will get thru it.

It feels like a lot of hard work, hope you get through it.

I don't know it it'll help but I found just concentrating on not drinking - and not the whys, and whens so much helped me. Sort of removed the wood from the trees so to speak, but I know you are just trying to find the right way for you.

[StuckinLA]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Happy random Sunday to any women rearing offspring out there.

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Thanks Stuck- you have a way with words? How is traveling treating you?

UKB- it is a lot of work.. I will find my way..

After 3 hard drinking nights I am ready to be sober. I told myself 140 times this morn that we are going to sober today. I want some more sober time. I love reading about people and all their AF free days..
I need to find mine. I made 45 so I know I can do that.
I am trying to respect who I am and just move forward.. It's such an ugly and hard poison to beat.

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Interesting read... Especially because I just did..

Alcoholic Recovery. Is Relapse Necessary?