BK's Naltrexone journey....

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

spuddleduck;1615534 wrote: I know some will say its better than AL but I don't agree... I don't think sugar is any better for you than AL... I don't want to turn over addiction for addiction....

Food glorious Food.. well I would say YES FOOD IS BETTER THAN AL... I know you are talking about sugar, not food, but sugar is food. my diabetes makes me very aware that when my blood sugar is low I need sugar and I need it now. when all said and done all carbohydrate breaks down into sugars to be metabolised. so, if you became addicted to sugar, whats the worst that would happen... get a bit fat and lardy. I don't think you would find yourself 'snot slinging' (not heard that for a while) or blacking out and hating yourself and the world.... so ... yep, in my mind, go ahead and have that cream cake, ... just don't make a habit of it. ok, the sugar lecture is over (loads would disagree with me). Did mr bk go to the funeral or was he somewhere else. im sure all of this has something to do with the 'funk' you have been feeling. Happy sober sunday to you bk

You are very perspective Spud- I think you are right in that I may be feeling some emotions for the funeral. Even Mr. Bk mentioned this as I got really upset because I had to purchase a new phone today because mine had some software issues.. And normally I love getting new things and even got a purple case for it but this just straight pissed me off and I shed a few tears telling MR. Bk about it..
Of course this is silly and my emotions were fueled by deeper issues. Had I grabbed a bottle of wine or 42 beers I would not have had this realization.
Progress baby.

Well I'm excited that tomorrow will be 20 BIG ONES for me. Longest I have been AF for a long time. Go me.:yougo:

[YouKayBee]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

bkyogagurl;1615699 wrote: You are very perspective Spud- I think you are right in that I may be feeling some emotions for the funeral. Even Mr. Bk mentioned this as I got really upset because I had to purchase a new phone today because mine had some software issues.. And normally I love getting new things and even got a purple case for it but this just straight pissed me off and I shed a few tears telling MR. Bk about it..
Of course this is silly and my emotions were fueled by deeper issues. Had I grabbed a bottle of wine or 42 beers I would not have had this realization.
Progress baby.

Well I'm excited that tomorrow will be 20 BIG ONES for me. Longest I have been AF for a long time. Go me.:yougo:

Almost 2 weeks, yay:goodjob:

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Thanks UK... I'm taking a virtual bow because my icons are not working right now.
Hey wait a minute.... I don't know about UK weeks but ours are seven day each so I am past 2 weeks..
Headed for 3... Right? I am not a genius in math...


I'm stilling thinking so know that.

[skullbabyland]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Just caught up on this thread... a lot I can relate to. The emotional ups and downs, the funks, the odd hungover feeling, the food... I feel all of this a LOT. It really is early sobriety stuff. Sometimes when my GF is like, wow your mood is all over the place, what's up? Sometimes I answer her by explaining whatever's going on in detail, but sometimes I just say "early sobriety stuff". Both are accurate

And BK in your case, with the loss of your uncle and the funeral and the baggage that comes with it (toxic people, etc) it really makes sense, what you experienced. Sometimes in life it's just... we just have to hang on and trust that the rollercoaster will level out. And not drink cuz that will just make the ride 100 times worse.

You're doing fantastic, BK, by protecting your quit. 20 days just RAWKS. You're obviously able to enjoy health, gym, liking your image in the mirror, and most importantly, your connection with and being great with your kids! Think about how GREAT that all is...

There's so much awesome that comes with not drinking. Sure there's hard times too. And BK, when you're feeling low, there's always this- http://collider.com/wp-content/uploa...l-superman.jpg
Yay!

[YouKayBee]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

bkyogagurl;1615713 wrote: Thanks UK... I'm taking a virtual bow because my icons are not working right now.
Hey wait a minute.... I don't know about UK weeks but ours are seven day each so I am past 2 weeks..
Headed for 3... Right? I am not a genius in math...


I'm stilling thinking so know that.

It's me that's not thinking, I meant 3 weeks ooops.

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Tuesday....

I am feeling the strength come back as I am attaining more AF days. I can't believe I thinking this but I do believe I will be taking February off... too... I am starting to embrace the way I feel and can think clearly without alcohol. My body isn't behaving as I thought it would...
I mean I haven't drank in 21 days I thought for sure I would morph into a super model by now...
Guess I am going to have to keep working and working and working on that... HA!

I have been consistently running and I do believe that helps my state of mind. The rewards of noticing the everyday life around me have been invaluable... things I am sure I would have overlooked if I were hungover... a baby smiling at me... my 15 yr old son wanting to hang out with me... WOW. I know this is going to sound goofy but the colors of flowers and the sky seem more vibrate... I feel like I am actually "feeling" things.. its not so bad... I am planning things with friends that I know I can follow thru with because I know I won't fuck it up with a hangover... you know how good that feels.

Its really strange how now I seem so ready to keep my quit... it was always so hard before... I guess this where the Nal steps in and gives you a freedom of sorts. I am not using it now but I guess all that drinking on it really did work.

Good day to all.

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Your funny Skull... I cannot keep looking at that JPEG... It's not fair to Mr. BK HA! My kids already busted me out and told my hubby I was staring. Thanks for all your support. I really feel that have the support here has lended to my soberiety. I don't know... It's different than when I used to post. I feel like I know you guys... I feel like this is my support group... I feel safe and I know that even if I fuck up you all will understand... Not that I'm thinking about fucking up it's just when you have a feeling of belong and love and acceptance it gives me strength... And hearing about everyone's daily struggles not only with AL but life in general just helps me understand that it's just life...

skullbabyland;1615837 wrote: Just caught up on this thread... a lot I can relate to. The emotional ups and downs, the funks, the odd hungover feeling, the food... I feel all of this a LOT. It really is early sobriety stuff. Sometimes when my GF is like, wow your mood is all over the place, what's up? Sometimes I answer her by explaining whatever's going on in detail, but sometimes I just say "early sobriety stuff". Both are accurate

And BK in your case, with the loss of your uncle and the funeral and the baggage that comes with it (toxic people, etc) it really makes sense, what you experienced. Sometimes in life it's just... we just have to hang on and trust that the rollercoaster will level out. And not drink cuz that will just make the ride 100 times worse.

You're doing fantastic, BK, by protecting your quit. 20 days just RAWKS. You're obviously able to enjoy health, gym, liking your image in the mirror, and most importantly, your connection with and being great with your kids! Think about how GREAT that all is...

There's so much awesome that comes with not drinking. Sure there's hard times too. And BK, when you're feeling low, there's always this- http://collider.com/wp-content/uploa...l-superman.jpg
Yay!

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Had a moment...

I had a slight headache today- I never used to get headaches ever...really..
I felt tired this afternoon but managed to get some laundry done and dinner made...
Mr. BK comes home and notices a receipt from shopping I had done earlier in the day and starts complaining about the price of berries and some different types of chocolate chips I had purchased.

I snapped.... Obviously there is more to our story than berries & chocolate chips.. But I snapped over this.
I grabbed the berries and chocolate chips and drove into town and returned them....
Bawling. Embarrassing. The poor clerk was so nice.. He asked why are you returning these and I said they are the wrong ones... He looked at me and tears welled up in my eyes and I said its an issue between me and my husband.
I am mad at myself for returning them. I should have told him to deal with it because those are my favorite. Something inside me just became so angry. I did not know what to do. Scratching his eyes out wasn't an option because the kids were in the room.

Or course when I got home he was apologetic and of course he felt I took what he said wrong.. This is always the case.. He said I didn't have to flip out and return the stuff...
I replied .... OK... But I am not sorry that I got angry because I have a right to feel angry when you upset me. I don't feel like writing about this anymore. There is way to much to explain so you could understand and I'm getting tired.

One thing I noticed was during all of this.... I wanted chocolate or cookies or something foolish...first before I thought of AL. The only reason I would have drank would have been to punish Mr. BK and we know that he isn't the one who truly pays the price... I thought to myself why do we have to think about being destructive to our body when we are mad? It was truly interesting to reason with myself at this point... I bought a ghiradella chocolate caramel bar and had two pieces...
that's IT.. Didn't go crazy... Didn't buy a whole container of cookies but I thought about it... And best of AL didn't even pass by the booze...

PROGRESS.....

I will be back tomorrow as I do believe this headache is becoming a migrane. Fabulous.

I hope MR.Bk sleeps like there is rocks in his bed.....

[Yourfriend6116]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Hi BK. I can SO relate to your story about the berries and chic chips! I think it's so good you didn't mosey over to the wine. Good job!! :goodjob:

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Yourfriend6116;1616920 wrote: Hi BK. I can SO relate to your story about the berries and chic chips! I think it's so good you didn't mosey over to the wine. Good job!! :goodjob:

Do you have one of these things called a husband at home... That you love but could kick in teeth sometimes? ... He was a whipped puppy this morning and told me he was really sorry and he shouldn't interfere with my shopping as I always do a good job....

Blah... I'm over it... Can you tell:l

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

I don't want to brag..... BUT I WILLLL...

22 days baby....

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Ok... I am over my frustration with Mr. BK...

I am feeling a little lonely for some reason... I think it is finally setting in that all my friends here drink...
and none of them what to hang out with someone who isn't.... at least I have my wonderful kids.
I think this is the time in a sober life where you evaluate your friendships and let go of some and hopefullly build new ones...

I just feel done with AL.... I have do desire to feel its poison running down my throat and polluting my body... it just isn't appealing.. I have had some emotional ups and downs so far but I actually liked feeling the feelings instead of running from them... I am finding a new strength instead myself that I am not sure I knew was there... I wish I had a friend to share these acheivements with ...
I know have you guys... but someone to go get a pedicure with or have a healthy lunch or workout with.

Anyone for a vitual cup and tea....

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

As I just reread that...

I thought am I really doing this... after all this time...

[skullbabyland]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Hi BK, it's your pal Skull (shooing crickets away... GET OUTTA HERE YA JERK ASS CRICKETS!!!)

Sounds like you had a bumpy day or two with the Mister. I hope things are evening out. I know how lonely days can feel... hopefully today is better? Even if not, it will be soon. You're protecting you quit and you can feel great about that. You're doing amazing at it!

[YouKayBee]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

bkyogagurl;1617100 wrote: Ok... I am over my frustration with Mr. BK...

I am feeling a little lonely for some reason... I think it is finally setting in that all my friends here drink...
and none of them what to hang out with someone who isn't.... at least I have my wonderful kids.
I think this is the time in a sober life where you evaluate your friendships and let go of some and hopefullly build new ones...

I just feel done with AL.... I have do desire to feel its poison running down my throat and polluting my body... it just isn't appealing.. I have had some emotional ups and downs so far but I actually liked feeling the feelings instead of running from them... I am finding a new strength instead myself that I am not sure I knew was there... I wish I had a friend to share these acheivements with ...
I know have you guys... but someone to go get a pedicure with or have a healthy lunch or workout with.

Anyone for a vitual cup and tea....

Hey BK

Hmmm, what I found is that my friends changed, they either drank less themselves, or I acquired sober activity friends. Unfortunately this doesn't happen over night but it gives you time to make sure you're ok - and comfy being sober.