BK's Naltrexone journey....

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Guess what... Started my period... Probably the reason the the mood swing.

[scottish lass]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Hi May friend - I did not realise you had your own thread - I stick to a couple of places where I feel at home:H
You are getting close to week 1 - back in the days when it was in my life I know my period mucked things up for me many times, so well done sticking thru this!
I can check in here and see how fabulously you are doing!

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

HI SL!!!

Thanks for stopping by... What threads beside the abber thread to you having on? I saw you on newbies count & I joined in...

Yes my period does cause havoc for me.. Dang it. They are getting painful and my emotions come in full force analyzing every one tiny thing that might bother. Frustrating.
I have been trying to journal thru these thoughts as a way to feel them and let them go..

How are you doing? When is your birthday?

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

It's a ruff morning for BK- running thru a gammet of emotions.
Feeling very alone.

I really overthink a lot of things in my life... ALOT. Hormone fluctuation seems to really intensify my emotions. I think of every thing that is bothering me and multiply it.
I know this leads to drinking but I won't drink I have my mind set of it but this is where the pressure builds and builds til I can't take it anymore and the value goes off.
It will be a while I can guarantee it.. My strength toward not drinking is strong and my days int he gym are more precious to me..But then I have to do a lot of crying and feeling like shit to ride the wave.

I don't want to be on any more fucking meds either. All they do is mask the real feelings I don't want to feel but should.

Something to account: this morning my son got up early and kinda of imposed on my quite time I lend myself in the morn.. I felt frustrated and didn't feel like listening to cartoons or making breakfast quite yet.. I went in my room and felt the frustration build... Got on stupid facebook and saw some of my so called friends doing things I felt left out of... Then I started crying. I will figure this out.

[skullbabyland]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Hi BK my friend, I thought I'd check back in on you after a few days away... sounds like you've had a tough few days, sorry to hear that. Yeah I can relate to how things can just suck all around, and I just want some time alone without intrusions even from loved ones. Some days are just shitty and there's not much to do but just feel shitty for a while.
The upside is that you're valuing your sober time training in the gym, that is a good feeling no?

I too very much know the feeling of over thinking, over worrying, insecurities, it seems to be how I LIVE. Sometimes I just want quiet from my own pestering worrying head.

Take care of yourself today buddy (digital hug)

[skullbabyland]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

...and... this might make you feel a little better- even Batman gets sad sometimes.

http://bitcast-a-sm.bitgravity.com/s...s/batswing.gif

[YouKayBee]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

jane27;1660726 wrote: Bky, you're cool too. We have some interesting background stories that's for sure. I've known some very plain and steady people. I wouldn't trade places for a second. Let me know what you want to know about the at our thyroid. I take 60 mgs in the morning and 30 in the afternoon. I have hashimotos disease, which doesn't mean a whole lot to me. What does, is that I have a nodule on my thyroid- I wouldn't be surprised if more than half the population did. I found out about mine because I had a cat scan for a salivary gland that acted weird for a while. That turned out to be fine, but the thyroid nodule resulted in my seeing an ENT. He ordered a test that showed Hashimotos. ( autoimmune disease where the thyroid attacks itself). For years I had suspected I had a slow thyroid but my labs always came back at the lower range of normal. I had all the symptoms- freezing cold all the time, dry itchy skin, couldn't eat a lot without gaining weight, puffy face, tired. Doc put me on the AT to try and shrink the nodule it had no impact on my labs but I felt so much better. Twice the dose was increased with only minor change to my thyroid levels. Now I'm more in the middle of the normal range. I also have depression issues, narcolepsy and Add. I take Prozac for the depression and stimulants for the narcolepsy. Without the stimulants I want to sleep for 18 hours a day. Without the Prozac,24 would be nice. The ADD helped by the stimulants but I still skip around a lot. Drinking helped me stay awake and do thinks I didn't want to do, like laundry and talking on the phone.

I'm hooked on my iPad too, but it's helped me get through this. It's not easy, but very doable.

Thanks for writing back. My mother isn't a prize either. How are you handling the iPad habit? Any advice would be appreciated! Xoxox

I've been tested for narcolepsy and although I don't sleep normally - I go into REM sleep in less than 10 minutes, I am not 'quick' enough to qualify. I did use illegal stims for a while to help with daytime sleepiness but now get through it by really concentrating my mind, going for a walk, taking a rest when driving, catching cat naps when I can.

I used to dream of dexedrine but would prefer not to be using stims. Like you however I did like drinking to give me energy, problem is as with any drug it's the payback and consequences. Perhaps my sleepy tendencies are the reason I really suffered when tryin baclofen.

[scottish lass]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

BK - just the daily abbers, the lady loamers and the nest count - now this one.
I have been in a funk too - it started last Sunday and I also was feeling very alone - I don't have a support system, family is 6,000 miles away and every so often it gets on top of me...getting really tearful and blue - someone did point out that it had been a full moon, and they feel affected by the moon - I have not paid attention before, but maybe
I also believe what many have said is that drinking masks emotions and does not let us feel - so I am trying hard to work out what and why I am feeling and attempting how to deal with it - now if I could find myself a good, strong understanding friend.....like my friends here, but close enough to grab a coffee.
Stay with it - I am so sure things can only get better:l:l

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

skullbabyland;1661645 wrote: Hi BK my friend, I thought I'd check back in on you after a few days away... sounds like you've had a tough few days, sorry to hear that. Yeah I can relate to how things can just suck all around, and I just want some time alone without intrusions even from loved ones. Some days are just shitty and there's not much to do but just feel shitty for a while.
The upside is that you're valuing your sober time training in the gym, that is a good feeling no?

I too very much know the feeling of over thinking, over worrying, insecurities, it seems to be how I LIVE. Sometimes I just want quiet from my own pestering worrying head.

Take care of yourself today buddy (digital hug)

So appreciate you checking in on me... It does matter and it helps stay on track when you know people are thinking of you...

FUNNIEST thing happened to me yesterday... I was working out with my trainer and he was having me do a miserable circuit outside and low and behold... There is this guy working out with a "HULK" shirt on.. I talked to him for a moment- such a nice guy. I got home and thought that was a sign from my skull man to stay strong...
Those psychic powers of yours are really awesome..

I am so moody... I am doing much better today. Got a really good nights sleep and hit fasted cardio this am.. Good ole hill sprints do a body good... I think.

I gonna check out your thread since I haven't visited for a while and let you know how much I care about you.:huggy

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

jane27;1661633 wrote: BKYG, Quick reply. I think I might have confused you- you have mentioned the drudgery of laundry and it reminded me of an old post I had made about the same thing. It was in 2012. (Laundry & Phone Calls Drive Me To Drink). I never did end up taking antabuse (back in 2012). Ive been on roughly the same meds for just under 10 years- give or take a minor change. Thank you for caring! Dexedrine is as you mentioned addictive and considered a high risk for abuse. I hear that a lot. I don't feel any addiction issues with it- never feel tempted to take more, often take less, and from day 1 its not a guarantee that I wont fall asleep anyway. Its a tricky thing narcolepsy.

Anyway, thought I would clear that up- and sorry if I mixed you up. I related to what you were saying. Still sober and going strong over here. Nearly 130 days in the bank, and boy is that a awesome secret source of extra strength if AL even crosses my mind.

Wishing you a great day. xoxoxo

Yes ma'am I was a little confused.. Thanks for clearing it up. So happy you are going strong. Inspirational to people like me because it makes me believe that it will happen for me.

XOXOXO- a good day has found me thanks to you.

[scottish lass]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Yeah! Day 7! A whole week done and dusted! Good for you!!

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

scottish lass;1661744 wrote: BK - just the daily abbers, the lady loamers and the nest count - now this one.
I have been in a funk too - it started last Sunday and I also was feeling very alone - I don't have a support system, family is 6,000 miles away and every so often it gets on top of me...getting really tearful and blue - someone did point out that it had been a full moon, and they feel affected by the moon - I have not paid attention before, but maybe
I also believe what many have said is that drinking masks emotions and does not let us feel - so I am trying hard to work out what and why I am feeling and attempting how to deal with it - now if I could find myself a good, strong understanding friend.....like my friends here, but close enough to grab a coffee.
Stay with it - I am so sure things can only get better:l:l

SL- how are you feeling today?? I seem to be pulling out of my funk... I'm so moody it's almost embarrassing. I don't have much of a support system either. My parents are addicts themselves so I don't have a relationship with them. They actually encourage the problem of course.. Do not need that so I haven't talked to them in years.
Yep.. AL masks my feelings and emotions so good that once I start masking I want to keep masking for 3 days... No good for my soul. I am trying to do the exact same thing.. Identify and feel my feelings and cry and whatever it takes to get thru them without AL.
It sure it's a party tho..
I wish I could also find a friend that I'm not counseling to go to coffee or lunch with. I am so there when people need to talk but am not very good at reaching out when I need someone cause I don't feel I really have anyone. They are out there we will find them.

I rely heavily on my friends here.

I am going to stay with... I woke this morn with a feeling of relief that I didn't drink last night. It's gotta keep going.

Check in here anytime you want and let me know how you are doing.
I love that stuff.:l

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Jane & SL....

You gals made me laugh... Who's the boss... I AM!!! HAHAHAHA

I crack myself up.
I must say it does feel fantastic to have 7 days back under belt.. Kinda like climbing Mt. Everest or something close..

I so APPRECIATE the honorable stop in and wishing me well....

This kinda of GOOD stuff is what makes a strong person... Stronger...

You gals ROCK the casbah!

[bkyogagurl]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Thanks for your kind words Jane...

I am sticking to my guns although my mind is all over the map. I think I over taxed my body yesterday with exercise and am feeling half way nauseous last night and today... Something I need to be careful of..
I have done this in the past and in an attempt to escape the yucky-ness I have drank...
Won't be happening today I am not drinking.
I can tell my body needs rest but I have so many household chores to accomplish so I had an extra dose of caffeine this morn and now I am buzzed and my body is tired.
This is an interesting time to think about what pushes me.. I push myself and push myself until there is nothing left to push... But I keep on pushing... I feel like a head case... My mind starts going a million miles a minutes... Jumping from one thing to the next...
This will be a good thing to ride out without AL.

[scottish lass]

BK's Naltrexone journey....

Hi BK - weekend away with my two girls. I will be your friend:l (until you find need to counsel me:H).
Well done for realising the good things - like waking up feeling just fine! Keep focusing on that and the world will be yours! Push yesterdays feelings onto yours.
I just drove home 180 miles, and that would always single a reward, and that would be so great......until the middle of the night....will concentrate on feeling good on a Monday morning (oxymoron right!)
I think I am pulling out of my funk too - think I will pay attention next full moon.
Have a good night!