started with baclofen..

[spiritwolf333]

started with baclofen..

lewis123;1628832 wrote: Hey everyone !! How are u doing?

I'll give u a little update on how i feel ! It's possible that i already said a lot of things but it feels great to share my experience with you!!

First of all I want to thank all of u who've been reading my story and extra thnx to people who reply on my thoughts. I maybe should also do this on other peoples topics here on the forum. I will do this in the future because i feel it's nice when people give reactions.

So here i go again --> i feel super super super good. It's just insane, really insane. Yesterday i've been to the backgammon club, i don't know if u guys know the game but i play this once in a week in the evening. Normally when i go there i drink a couple of glasses wine and beers en than smoke a joint there etc. Yesterday i arrived and one of the guys there gave every one a glass of champagne because it was his birthday. I also took one and i think that after half an hour later my glass was empty. After that i drank 3 soda waters (!!!!), and when the guys went outside to smoke a joint i went with them but i didn't feel like smoking to i didn't ! I went home around 12, took my melatonin en slept like a baby. I had a wonderfull day at work, as i told you already i'm a dentist, i work especially as a children dentist and they also give me some much energy i really had a great day !

But it's just soooooooo insane that i don't think about alcohol and other stuff!!!! Normally the only reason that i go to play backgammon for example is because i know i can drink a lot there. But now i just enjoyed the game, i talked with the people there, i just had a great evening !!

Also normally when i drive home from work in the evening i always used to "search" what i was going to do in the evening (where i would have drinks, texting to people to have drinks somewhere), but now i'm just driving, enjoying the music, thinking about how great me last week was, thinking about what i'm can do in the weekend like learning a new sport, finding a new hobby.

Guys it may sound weard but it's like i am reborn. Do u understand that i have the feeling "how would my life have been if i would known baclofen since i was 18 instead of now (25)". I suddenly feel really sorry for what i did to my ex girlfriend and ex friends etc. I've always been the drunk guy, the crazy one, the one who could not stop drinking when he started, the one who always needed some drugs when he went out, the one who screamed at his girlfriend, the one who cheated on every girlfriend, the one who let so many friends down. But hey they always say it's never to late to change, i really hope the change is now.

I also feel that this is soooooo different now !!!! This is a cure !!!!! This is not a temporary solution !!! I know i tried sooooo many things, but this is so different and u know why? because i don't "feel" something. It's nog like taking ritalin or concerta or strattera, than i starting to feel calm and that changes my personality but not in a positive way, those kind of medication makes of me a different person, a person who's not me !!!!!

And when i took antabuse for 3 months, these were the worst 3 months off my life i think !!! I wanted to drink sooooo hard but i just couldn't. The only persons who were happy than were my parents en exgf but they didn't understand that i really had a problem in my brains !!!! Do u understand what i mean? Now i feel so great, i feel this is the thing i've been waiting on for the last 10 years.

Normally i've always been looking for something, something that gave me a feeling that u can't get naturally. Alcohol, weed, cocaine, sleeping pills, ... But now i found something different, something that really takes the craving away without any SE (so far, i know i can get them later but i don't feel anything now so that's cool ! ).

One thing i want to share with you and maybe you can give me some advice? I have a problem --> I've been together with my gf now for 1,5y. And suddenly i have the feeling that for me she was also part of my addiction. Because i could NEVER be alone, i was always drinking and smoking and when i felt alone en hangover or depressed i did things with my gf. BUT we have a great "relationship", we never argue, we never had i fight, she really understands me. But now i have the feeling that she is just a friend
for me. Since the baclofen i just want to live my life, i wanna do the things i always wanted to do, i wanna travel, i wanna read books, i wanne play new sports, but i don't think i need a girlfriend anymore :s Maybe i better tell here the truth? And tell here that i think i need time for my own? But it's so hard because she ALWAYS supported me with my alcohol problem en everything..

Ok? but i'm gonna stop writing now!

Last thing i wanted to say is if i could sign a contract that i if i would live 10y less when i take baclofen i would insta sign it. I just don't care about being the drunk guy anymore.

I also realise that i'm maybe to euphoric now, that i will maybe will feel SE, that maybe the dose it to low, but i don't care. I'm feeling great now and that's what counts and i see what happens in the future ! I also want to say that there is no way to say that u can be addicted to baclofen!!!! It is really a cure!

Have a really nice evening.

Lewis
Hi Lewis -thanks for your posts. I think your posts help all of us see more clearly what the majority are up against.

As you have stated, you are now 100% free of baclofen but you are back drinking in your usual patterns. Furthermore, it seems clear that you are not going back on baclofen and would like to hear some ideas regarding quitting using other methods?? Additionally, it sounds as though you are ready to have alcohol out of your life for the long haul? (No occasional drinks with friends, etc)?

Hopefully, others will step up and offer alternative solutions. However, I would venture to guess that you might find more helpful information on other forums or even in the general discussion area of this forum. Many on this area of the forum still drink so sometimes it might be quite challenging to find unambiguous opinions.

Please don't quit trying to quit firewater. You will get there -eventually (one way or another). Others will post helpful thoughts to you -or usually they do, so just keep on keeping on.

[lewis123]

started with baclofen..

Good morning everyone.

Thank you for the replies. To be honest i don't know what to do know but i think im gonna try what xandrian said. Start baclofen again and only take it in the evening and see how it goes.

Yesterdaymorning i really promised to myself i wouldn't drink or smoke pot, i wrote it on a piece of paper "today i'm not going to drink or smoke, i'm going to sleep around 10 and tomorrow i will feel better". When it was around 7 in the evening i couldn't handle the craving so i threw the paper away and I smoked a joint followed by a couple of beers. I again feel bad today, i slept to long, i feel bad that i just can't be sober for 1 day.

How is it even possible that i just can't keep my promise for just 1 day???? And it's not that i'm not trying hard enough it is just the only thing i can think about in the evening. It's a whole in my brain that HAS TO BE filled or i just can't do something else. And it doesn't matter of i go running or read a book or something, it's just the feeling of craving that is so insane.

So tonight i'm gonna take 5mg, so if i move up 5mg every 3 days it will take me 18 days to be back at 30mg.

Thank you Spirit also for your post.

If u guys have any other advice what i can do pleas say so .. What would you guys advice me to do for example if i would be allergic to baclofen and baclofen is really no option for me. How can i handle the cravings?

Sometimes i think that if i would find a job that i really like that maybe i wouldn't have so much craving in the evening. Because now everyday i'm working and thinking about the fact that i don't like to be a dentist, and than i come home fustrated and start smoking drinking again. But i don't now if that's a real reason why i drink etc. Because i'm drinking and smoking for more than 7 years even when i wasn't finished university etc.

Lewis

Edit: i'm gonna write short how my daily routine looks like. So for now every morning i feel bad because i drank again and smoked again. I drive to work and i feel tired, not fit, and a bit of a hangover and i'm saying every morning again that this was the last evening that i drink or smoked. I promise myself things like come on Lewis tonight will be sober, just go sporting or read a book or watch a movie and get in bed early and you will feel fit tomorrow and you will feel better etc... Than i start working and around the afternoon i start to feel fit again. Like i said i'm diagnosed with ADHD, so in the afternoon i'm really really fit again and have a lot of energy. And that's the point where my cravings are coming up. It's really strange but the point is that everymorning i wanna be fit again as soon as possible, BUT when i'm feeling fresh again that's the point i wanne smoke or drink. The thing i want is always to be in the fit stage!! But why oh why do i always wanna feel different and why can't u just stay in my fit stage? Do u understand me? So than i come home and than i start calling friends to have a drink, or i go to my tv room and start smoking weed, and than i wake up again and that's pretty how my life is the last 7 years.

Sometimes i wish i just could go to a clinic where i HAVE to be sober for a couple of days - weeks - months and maybe i start realizing that being sober is cool and that it is possible to feel fit every single day. But i just really can't ignore the cravings, it's so much stronger than me. I can really cry now because i feel so stupid that i just can't be sober for 1 single day without medications or something.

At the end of august i stop working as a dentist for 3 months and i'm gonna travel for 3 months, maybe south-america, maybe australia, i don't know, but i think i really need time to think about my life etc.

All the best,

Lewis

[Xadrian]

started with baclofen..

lewis123;1643520 wrote: Sometimes i wish i just could go to a clinic where i HAVE to be sober for a couple of days - weeks - months and maybe i start realizing that being sober is cool and that it is possible to feel fit every single day. But i just really can't ignore the cravings, it's so much stronger than me. I can really cry now because i feel so stupid that i just can't be sober for 1 single day without medications or something.

The guilty feelings won't help you, Lewis.
It's not a lack of will power, like AA and others are trying to let us believe.
It's a disease of the brain we are suffering from. The lack of GABA we have has to be compensated.

Going to a clinic that forces you to be sober, would only be torturing yourself.
They don't try to cure a diabetic by taking off his insuline, right?

[lewis123]

started with baclofen..

Xadrian;1643559 wrote: The guilty feelings won't help you, Lewis.
It's not a lack of will power, like AA and others are trying to let us believe.
It's a disease of the brain we are suffering from. The lack of GABA we have has to be compensated.

Going to a clinic that forces you to be sober, would only be torturing yourself.
They don't try to cure a diabetic by taking off his insuline, right?

ty.

i'll start this evening with 5mg and i'll post again here every day. It helps when i get reactions like yours Xadrian. Thank you for that.

lewis

[kronkcarr]

started with baclofen..

lewis,

I understand perfectly how you feel when you make plans to not drink and then you drink. It's a defeating feeling. For me it was a repeating cycle. I'm sure it doesn't help to go to a job you don't like. With baclofen I became better at my work and liked it more. Maybe you can find a hobby you like and look at dentistry as a means to support your hobby?

There are other meds to consider if bac doesn't work for you. Check threads here. Good luck.

[gumtree]

started with baclofen..

Hi Lewis,

I hope your 3 month break does you a world of good!
I don't get nightmares on 5mg of melatonin, sorry to hear that you do. My dreams can be vivid, but I like that....
BTW, I went to a 4 week rehab once, and it was a good experience for me. I had a stressful job at the time, and it helped having the solid break where I couldn't give in to cravings - gave me a head start. I managed to stay clean for almost 6 years, before I slipped last year. Now I'm trying to moderate (mixed results - may decide to go back to abstaining, will see, jury's still out

[lewis123]

started with baclofen..

My dreams are most of the time also vivid. And i like vivid dreaming, i think i have nightmares when i smoke pot for a couple of days and than quit.

It's the second day i take 5mg baclo now just before sleeping. Nothing special so far, i'll keep you guys updated on how i feel.

Lewis