So much to read, so little time to do it...

[Yourfriend6116]

So much to read, so little time to do it...

Thank you, Mandie. Thank you.

[spiritwolf333]

So much to read, so little time to do it...

Wow, this is so very discouraging news to hear. Two very important and courageous contributors to this forum have now committed to leaving this site. Why? Because of trolls-aggravators and/or because of the way we treat trolls-aggravators.

Many times, I have been to the point of this discouragement as well. Even fearful at times. I would say to myself that I am just a simple person with a huge alcohol problem trying to survive and get well -to some degree. I would again see the see the bickering and fussing and just believe that it would get better with time -and usually it did. But it always was and is discouraging. But then again, I sometimes find this same type of futility in my day to day life outside of any chat boards. I guess this is all part of life. I just hate that it is part of a recovery community where help is so desperately needed -without all the confusion.

You both have been and are important parts of my recovery and I thank you for all the help that you have been.

SW

[Cassander]

So much to read, so little time to do it...

Mandie --

I agree with you totally that attacking others on a support and information board can be discouraging and off-putting. I don't know why this side of our board persona so often rears its ugly head. Perhaps because the board is anonymous and "attacking" solves some basic need for some of us.

As one who recently "lost it" and lashed out at another member who I thought was attacking me, probably exacerbating the stress on the board, all I can say is that there comes a time...after say a year, for example...when being attacked gets too old and its time to say enough. Nevertheless I am sorry if my reaction increased the stress around here.

I'm not sure I agree with you about trolls though. I have several times commended the spirit of giving on this board, which often takes the form of taking a troll seriously. But some trolls are as bad as the "attackers" among us. They make the board impossible for many of us to take.

I think we have civility within our control and there is no excuse for not exercising it. The worst kind of trolls are not within our control and we just have to wait them out. Patience is not a troll virtue. As for your point that trolls are just like us...seeking help...but showing it in a funny way...I hear you. But a troll on a mission is very hard to help, even if in some underlying way, help is what he most wants and needs.

I don't know why the "other" board is not more popular. It might have something to do with the presentation and user-friendliness of it. I am not sure. But it would be a great thing if the other board were both demonstrably more respectful while at the same time having mods who are present enough and sensitive enough to shut down real troublemakers before too much damage is done.

In any event, thanks for your thoughtful and respectful contribution(s). I for one appreciate them very much.

Cass

[Mandiekinz]

So much to read, so little time to do it...

Thank you Cassander, Xadrian, and Wolfman...

I hear you, Cass. I'm sure it's very difficult to get kicked by some online persona. We can lash. I've almost lashed a couple of times. But I realized, there was no point. I don't care for a person's opinions, I don't need to explain myself or argue or fight to lay out my side of opinion. It's pointless and very difficult to understand some people's demeanor when it comes to typed out words and emotions on here. I've misunderstood simple texts before that turned into huge arguments over absolutely nothing. So, I get that.

We, as sensitive and emotional people, can find it difficult to handle irritated feelings, especially when we are safe behind a computer and CAN lash out safely. There are two problems to this...
A.) any words exchanged in the public can and will be read by thousands of people.
B.) Due to (a) people tend to pick sides in here like it's a fight in the hallway of high-school.
C.) a huge part of our recovery is to pick and choose our battles wisely.

With (C) in mind...paranoia, anger, and passive-aggressive attitudes(which some are very prominent in here) are not a healthy a part of recovery. Those are attitudes and feelings one should take a step back and examine why they are feeling and behaving that way. It hinders our ability to communicate properly, thus causing tension and loss of focus. Which then regresses our mental and emotional strength.

Maybe some trolls, yes, are here for a kick. Why let ourselves get worked up over it? We are putting our hard earned energy into something negative.

Maybe some "trolls" are here b/c they're intrigued by the science and psyche of this movement but are annoyed by our attitudes and ignorance.

Baclofenforalcoholism is ran by several highly active members that know exactly what to look for and will immediately ban an ip address when needed. (for the destructive people and trolls)

Stratus also put forth a good chunk of his hard earned money to purchase a better, stronger, user friendly forum platform for us. I have not heard of any problems reported yet. Those that forgot their log in's or passwords were tended to even at 1am by emailing me. We have the ability to fix things immediately in there, as well as take on suggestions and I can have it changed at the drop of a dime now that I know how to work the damn thing.

I'm believing it's not full of volume due to all the drama being in here. Of course there are more members and more intriguing things to read here....but with more input and output in bacforalc, it would grow better. People naturally like drama. I like controversy, I like a good debate...but I do not like drama. I think that some people don't know how to differentiate the two sometimes.

I'm not promoting bacforalc...it has a lot of work to be done, but it can't be done without the helping hands of the community as a whole.

I'm working 70 hour weeks right now, so it's been difficult to get anything going on there and the one time I decided to check up in here, I got sad.

In this time, of a very heavy work load and trying to keep a face in the forums...I need to distance myself from here and start putting more effort into a place that WE, US have a hand and control over to build and manipulate as we please. I have no business being in this environment of a huge disregard to the innocent.

I have the utmost respect for every one of you. Like I said, this is not a nit pick at any one specific person...it's just how Xadrian hit it dead on...the contagious paranoia and attacks. It's not any ONE person's fault...it's just how things happen in a close nit community. You hang out with a bunch of volleyball chicks, we end up PMSing together. Naaaah meeaaan?

By the way...I cannot believe no one commented on my invisible schlong comment before. Hater's gonna hate.

[freedom4me]

So much to read, so little time to do it...

A newbie's point of view:

I'm new here, just been on for a few weeks , and on baclofen almost 2 weeks. I can tell you that at this point I'm very apprehensive & timid about posting anything due to the back lash I get when I have posted. I am even apprehensive & timid about posting this and if I get any backlash about what I have posted, I will probably totally stop posting altogether. I have never posted anywhere on any forum (rarely even read a forum in the past), and I still do not know how to manipulate the tools on this forum for several things that I see others doing (quoting, links, etc).

I believe from a newbie point of view that there is a very negative vib on this forum. Those that are more experienced on the road to alcohol freedom and more experienced with medications should understand that as a new comer, I really know nothing about the forum, much less being alcohol free. As a newbie to all of this, I may post something you see as erroneous info since I am trying out my posting wings and trying out being alcohol free and possibly trying out a medicine all at the same time. As a newbie, I do not know much and have no real experience in this forum or as a non drinker. But, as a newbie, I really want to get there. I have posted things that maybe the more experienced do not agree with and if it were me that was more experienced and helping to guide the way, I would have held that newbie tight and said "good job in your research, we may not agree with you, but keep searching. Btw, here is some additional research, keep it up, you will make it too." Some have been encouraging, some have been silent possibly avoiding the issue, some have absolutely been rude, and some have been resistant and even suspicious of my motives. To be encouraging is awesome, even if I am wrong in what I posted, the wrong can be corrected in an encouraging & even uplifting way. To be silent is actually very discouraging since it can cause one to feel unimportant & insignificant. To be rude will drive a newbie away. To be resistant or suspicious will offend a newbie and discourage any further posts which may discourage any help that newbie may obtain.

What bothered me most is not a possible troll attacking me, but when an experienced poster stated that he/she would no longer follow me unless I got a doctor and that same poster implied that in another previous post on a separate thread that I was promoting a particular treatment center, when in fact I was only referring to the link where I had read info regarding ibogaine. Other things that have bothered me were the attacks the experienced posters posted against other experience posters and blatantly posting to someone having severe baclofen withdrawals that they were possibly a troll.

This site may be the first contact a new person makes on the road to recovery. It should always be encouraging, uplifting, & informative. It should never be discouraging, resistant, suspicious, degrading, rejecting, or argumentative. I believe anything can be said politely and professionally to anyone in response to anything, even to negativity or blatant rudeness.

I came here to learn, gain support, communicate, and be lifted up, not brought further down. My addiction has already brought me down to the lowest pit.

This is just what I have observed as a new person to this site & what I have experienced. You certainly do not have to listen to me, again I am new and may not understand everything going on. But at least do not drive me further away by saying offensive words, insults, resisting others thoughts, rejecting others or others ideas completely. Maybe I have terminology wrong in the above statements I am not sure. I did not even know what a troll was until I saw it posted here and my husband explained it to me. As I said, I have never posted nor been a part of any forum in the past until now.

I am an alcohol abuser, I have issues in my life I would like to see changed, I am trying to change those things. I am a smart person, I am a registered nurse, I have been educated, I have a business that I have manged for many years, I have feelings, but I always treat people with respect and dignity no matter how they treat me since I cannot assume anything about what others may be going through or I may have misunderstood something they said or did or intended. I also have many questions regarding my journey to freedom, but am afraid to ask them due to the possible backlash I may receive here on this forum.

[neophyte]

So much to read, so little time to do it...

i understand Freedom4me, some people were critical with a few posts i made when i first started, they were innocent but from a standpoint of ignorance, it left a sour taste in my mouth for a while. however i pushed past it, i needed to learn more about baclofen so i stuck around.

I must admit i've been critical of some new comers in the past and your post makes me realize now im on the other side, so i should probably be a bit easier on new comers. i agree the vibe can be a bit nasty, we are just sick of trolls.

[Yourfriend6116]

So much to read, so little time to do it...

Freedom-I understand your frustrations. Thank you so much for your honesty. Please PM me. I'm a newbie, as well, but will help as much as I can. Don't give up!

[Samandkatharine]

So much to read, so little time to do it...

Freedom, I'm relatively new. I will be around. PM me if you want help. Friend is a great one to contact too. She's like a bloodhound in search of information.

I hate to say this, but I noticed a big shift when Lo0p died. Even though he wasn't posting a lot, his presence was felt by me and I think for many of you. It's like Lord of the flies now. You take away the ring leader and the whole group goes crazy.

Sam

[RedThread12]

So much to read, so little time to do it...

Dear Dr. Ameisen, Dr. Levin, BillP, Lo0p . . .

and all y'all. Awesome, awesome, awesome.

Having not been home for more than 2 weeks when I intended to be away. 7 days, having had so much catastrophic shit occur in that amount of time that, I was making a mental list of more than could possibly go "wrong." Turning the corner 'round Jiffy Lube putting power steering fluid into my brake fluid container, which required a new master cylinder, and heading toward spilling ginger ale on my Max Book Pro - which led it to shuffle off this mortal coil to join the bleed in' choir celestial - I started laughing so hard I began to cry and snort.

For the first time, I really ached for Evan, because he would have been with me, with
"Only Evan " commentary, before Dec. 19.

And the it occurred to me - a miracle, that almost slipped past my attention: I have said out loud and unabashedly, with more confidence and stability than I've felt for 4.5 years, "know how to end alcoholism." I don't make a big deal of it. But I am definitely out of the closet that I had not realized I was endarkened within.

Then I thought, "F**k. Who do I tell about this tectonic shift ME
who would give a fat rat's clacker?"

And I opened this forum, which was my doorway, and read Mandie's magic, followed with and supported by others with whom I've hunkered in the trenches, and went "Ta- Da."
Synchromystically,here is a place to post my gratitude, and the enormous liberation I didn't even realize.

And yes, I find it unspeakably unspeakable and weird to find drunks who no longer have to drink against their their will arguing amongst themselves. I owe an immense debt of gratitude to so many of of you!! I am and will continue to repay what I can. I guess any of us are doing that, in the ways that feel most productive for each. I am uber- impressed with some of you recent baclofentists. Thank you for your hard work for yourselves, and those coming after you - and for me.

Hoka Hey! Hang tight. There is more!
Although there's not much more of this night!!!

[Xadrian]

So much to read, so little time to do it...

RedThread12;1634368 wrote: Turning the corner 'round Jiffy Lube putting power steering fluid into my brake fluid container, which required a new master cylinder

When you add power steering in your brake fluid container, normally this will not damage any components of the brake system and only bleeding of the brake system and refilling with brake fluid would be required.

On the other hand, if the brake fluid level was (too) low, this could be an indication that there's a leak somewhere in the brake system, which could be the master cylinder.
Normally it's a closed system and refilling is only required when the brake pads or shoes are worn significantly.

So, chances are that the master cylinder was already leaking (especially when you had to refill several times lately), which means you did not damage your master cylinder by adding the wrong fluid. I hope that will make you feel better about it.

But since this is not a car-repair forum, I think this is enough "off topic" info for now.

[Mandiekinz]

So much to read, so little time to do it...

Oh, Freedom. This may be due to my 70 hour work weeks and just being pure exhausted and emotional. However, I shed a tear reading your post. My heart breaks for the newbs just looking for their home. I know that YourFriend also went through what you are feeling.

I also stopped posting my personal progress thread b/c it turned into myself just talking to myself. I might as well have kept a journal.

There are many people that read and watch the forums as well and never post or introduce themselves. When the forum is this offensive, why would they? So then they sit there at their computers, digging for answers and attempting the therapy on their own with no support to push them along.

It doesn't matter how much you read up on the medicine and experiences...each one of us go through the side effects and experiences differently. This is our therapy. This is where our recovery begins. We are an underground community that has very little support in the psych and medical field. Many of us also can't run to our friends and family to help us along. Most of them (from my experience) thought I was nuts for trying baclofen in the first place and STILL don't believe it works. When it very clearly does.

As RedThread states "Know how to end alcoholism" - A very strong and bold and HONEST statement!

We each have the ability to save an alcoholic. Baclofen aside. If we open up, invite them in, and SHOW them how AMAZING and BRILLIANT we truly are. They will follow suite and make this community their home too.

It's what we all want and need. What other reasons are there to be here? We want acceptance, support, and information....to. not. feel. alone. in. the. chaotic. and. dark. world. of. alcoholism.

Most of us pushed our friends and family away during our dark abyss. Most of us come in here on our knees, begging for a life line. WE ARE ALL PEOPLE! This is our group therapy. Our facebook. Our family. Friends. Foes. Diaries. Morning cup of coffee. Late night rendezvous. The one place we can keep our identity hidden and be open and honest. Let's not squander that.

Loving you all to molecules.

Man! I am one sappy girl these days! I'm going to go hug a tree reaaaaalllly tight now.

[Xadrian]

So much to read, so little time to do it...

Well said and wise words, Mandie

While I know you want to help as much as you can, try to find some rest too.

You don't want to become overwrought, believe me.

[RedThread12]

So much to read, so little time to do it...

Hunh???

[MissIndygo]

So much to read, so little time to do it...

How is the tree hugging going Mandie girl?
I love the way you expressed your reasons for wanting to take time out from this forum.
I feel the same, but I could never have worded it so well as you did!

No it is not the trolls!
It's people's responses to them and to newbies that they may perceive as a troll, whilst if they gave that newby a little more time they may turn out to be just another alcoholic in need..
Another one that really drove me away as well, was/is the constant headline grabbing misleading information that was/is being argued about and therefore becames a major thread.
Unnecessary! If u can't deal with sober life than please find help somewhere else, but don't belittle what Bac can and will do for most hardcore alcoholics. To get of the booze! (Or firewater as some like to call it).
Very unuseful to me and certainly very unusefullful to any newcomer!

Anyway time for me to get of this soapbox and start smelling the roses again.

Much luv to you all. I've missed you beautiful Bac people

PS: I have not commented on the 'invincible slong' comment you mentioned, as I am a feminist and don't think women need men's appendixes to proof how strong they are.
Having said all that: Bloody funny thing to say by Lo0p though xx

[RedThread12]

So much to read, so little time to do it...

Thanks MissI. for clarifying the point that I have less than no interest in reading/responding to a minute,
totally insignificant mention in my post telling me how wrong I ( and multiple professionals) are about my car. My post was not about my car. Had I even suspected someone would copy that and respond to it as if they had firsthand experience - instead of understanding the intent of my post, like Mandiekinz, I would have saved my energy for more efficient ways to help dying alcoholics. Which explains why I don't "hit the board" all that often. But I am no final arbiter of significance. Everyone's got to find their own way through.

P..S. to Xaxier. I THINK you were trying to be helpful?? But my brakes worked perfectly, and no way had I re-filled the fluid hid multiple times when I had a simple oil change at Jiffyube. If you would like copies from the Honda service techs and their statement that contaminated brake fluid corrupted seals on the master cylinder, PM me.