I?ve been lurking about here for a couple of weeks and I figure it?s time to jump in. Always with the hope that anything I share resonates with someone else and is helpful (hello fellow lurkers. I know you are out there!)
I have two bottles of Baclofen waiting for me at home. Ordered online (of course) and want to get a few AF days before I start. So very grateful for a friend who pointed me in this direction and for the good info here! I?ve been drinking for 10 years with increasing levels of consumption. Early in my marriage I got tired of fighting my husband?s drinking and said ?Eff if. If you can?t beat them, join them? And boy did I. A family history of Alcoholism (whatever that really meant) kept me from drinking much at all until my late 20?s.
Now, my husband and I are both daily drinkers (and have been for some time) Every time I manage to maintain a period of abstinence (increasingly shorter ones) the power this poison has over my mind is increased when I drink again. And it scares me. I?ve tried AA (which was a no-go for me. I already have a spiritual community and that's not what I need) and obviously read a hundred blogs/memoirs/support group information, so I am well versed on what COULD happen, but have felt powerless to stop the slide. My current levels of drinking are upwards of two bottles (or equivalent) of wine per day. Usually spirits of some kind mixed with whatever is around. I no longer get true hangovers. Just feel tired and not "sharp" in the mornings. Not helpful for my job in financial admin.
Not drinking yesterday was the easiest it has been for me in a long time. I stocked up on some favorite candy and such thinking I?d be fighting cravings, and I didn?t. (just a bit of the usual habit-driven thoughts) Very strange. I can only think that it?s partly to do with my upbeat attitude because I know in a couple of days I get to start working on what appears to be a cure for the obsession I am so sick of fighting. I want my real self back pretty badly.
That all said, I am VERY nervous about SE?s. I plan to titrate up very cautiously (esp since I am doing this w/out a doctor). I know what the recommended schedule is and I intend to be even slightly more cautious at first. Hopefully not drinking for 3 days before hand and abstaining another day or two (or as long as I can manage) will cause me to hit indifference more quickly?
Anyway, sorry for the novel and here goes everything?.
I have two bottles of Baclofen waiting for me at home. Ordered online (of course) and want to get a few AF days before I start. So very grateful for a friend who pointed me in this direction and for the good info here! I?ve been drinking for 10 years with increasing levels of consumption. Early in my marriage I got tired of fighting my husband?s drinking and said ?Eff if. If you can?t beat them, join them? And boy did I. A family history of Alcoholism (whatever that really meant) kept me from drinking much at all until my late 20?s.
Now, my husband and I are both daily drinkers (and have been for some time) Every time I manage to maintain a period of abstinence (increasingly shorter ones) the power this poison has over my mind is increased when I drink again. And it scares me. I?ve tried AA (which was a no-go for me. I already have a spiritual community and that's not what I need) and obviously read a hundred blogs/memoirs/support group information, so I am well versed on what COULD happen, but have felt powerless to stop the slide. My current levels of drinking are upwards of two bottles (or equivalent) of wine per day. Usually spirits of some kind mixed with whatever is around. I no longer get true hangovers. Just feel tired and not "sharp" in the mornings. Not helpful for my job in financial admin.
Not drinking yesterday was the easiest it has been for me in a long time. I stocked up on some favorite candy and such thinking I?d be fighting cravings, and I didn?t. (just a bit of the usual habit-driven thoughts) Very strange. I can only think that it?s partly to do with my upbeat attitude because I know in a couple of days I get to start working on what appears to be a cure for the obsession I am so sick of fighting. I want my real self back pretty badly.
That all said, I am VERY nervous about SE?s. I plan to titrate up very cautiously (esp since I am doing this w/out a doctor). I know what the recommended schedule is and I intend to be even slightly more cautious at first. Hopefully not drinking for 3 days before hand and abstaining another day or two (or as long as I can manage) will cause me to hit indifference more quickly?
Anyway, sorry for the novel and here goes everything?.
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