What are you going to do today?

[StuckinLA]

What are you going to do today?

Reading Ne's thread is quite a project! I don't even think I've read the *whole* thing (apologies, sweetie).

I worked quite a bit on this article today, and took a nap. Then my landlord showed up to replace the water heater and so I woke up and worked in my bed on the article a bit more. I think it's getting close - still a piece of shit, but close to being ready to send back.

And I just *really* feel like going down to the bar and drinking. My house is kinda out of control dishes-wise, and the laundry I did a couple days ago is still in the laundry bag on the floor. I have almost no food here - even though I went to the grocery store this afternoon. I ate granola mixed with greek yogurt for breakfast and lunch today. That's about all I've been able to get down. And a couple tortilla chips.

Just f**king down. Like I said on BK's thread, I think I'm going to start taking a whole bunch of gabapentin until I run out of what's here, just for shits n' giggles. I seriously want oxytocin nasal spray, and am working on figuring out a way to get it. I really want to go back to drinking regularly. Only without the blood pressure and withdrawal and anxiety. Seriously. Want. To. Drink. Alcoholically.

And maybe I will, who knows. I mentioned somewhere didn't I that I went to the doc's right before my vacation (blood pressure normal, btw), and told her I'm afraid of flying to get another script for ativan. So I've got 20 more pills. That's about 40 morning-afters that I can get through. Pills, just sitting there in my bag. A more rational person would probably look at that and say f**k the middleman, just take the pills! But I hate taking pills, thank god.

Oh well, that's just what's up here. Glad the museum went well, Ne. And keep up the weightlifting talk, it's nice to listen to. Plus I can't move my arms from yesterday at the gym.

[_serenity_]

What are you going to do today?

Great thread! I have been doing boring sober things all day. After work, I checked out the progress on a privacy fence I'm having built in the backyard. Then I tended to my garden. I've got tomatoes, asparagus, onions, garlic, shallots, beets, green and yellow beans, sweet and hot peppers, Brussels sprouts, kale, chard, collards, butternut squash, raspberries, blackberries...probably some other stuff I forgot. I love gardening so much.

Then I took my dog for a walk in the woods and let her swim in a creek for a while. It was too mosquito-y for my tastes. Came home, ate, now settling in to watch the Mad Men finale (again) with some homemade kumbucha. No booze, no smokes anymore (finally quit last September). I still "vape" a little. Happy, boring, sober times! Have a great evening everyone. :l

[Ne/Neva Eva]

What are you going to do today?

Hi, Serenity! Nice to see you. You guys are making me feel like a slacker with all your gardens-of-good-food. *sigh* So nice to hear what you are doing with your free time. Lordy, yours is a great story, too. (Should anyone want to come along and check you out...What was your original name? seeking_serenity?) :l

I cannot believe you haven't read every word written on that behemoth of a mishmosh. Have you not had hours to waste, Stuck? ("My" thread is interesting only in the moment, I think. I don't even read it anymore. Plus, it irritates me because so much of it is ugh. Really, people, life is too short.)

Really sorry about the state of your kitchen...And the rest, too. :l I really wish I was close enough to wash the dishes and make you some food. Sometimes that is insurmountable, but all it takes to make the day okay. At least in my world. And help is helpful when you can't lift your arms.

BK--That's great! I don't really believe in skinny fat. (Like, okay, you're skinny. But now you've got to be cut. And lift your body weight. Otherwise you suck. Screw that!) I loved lifting. I was so strong! And my back didn't hurt anymore. (Yoga didn't help.) I started slowly because I was still drinking and fighting for my life against the booze. All I wanted was more strength to battle that demon. I wish I'd remembered how effective it was before I went through the latest bout of life-induced-misery.

Kronk, I meant to ask you about the 10 foot dragon. I mean, gator. Are you hiking in the everglades? Or is that something one sees just walking down a trail in Florida?

Alright peeps. I have chemistry today, and haven't done my homework. I woke up at 3 am, which doesn't bode well for sitting in a stuffy classroom for 4 hours. I'm still sleeping way too much, and erratically. A holdover from being overwhelmed and depressed, I hope. Today I'm just going to focus on some very basic stuff--eat, raise heart rate, do something fun, and stay awake during class.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

What are you going to do today?

Serenity, how'd you quit? And why haven't you planted blueberries???

[Xadrian]

What are you going to do today?

daily frustrations continued

After I went to my appointment, it turned out that the supervisor was in a meeting, so I went there for nothing (in Duth we call it "voor Jan Lul", which means someting like "for Joe Dick" aka "Joe with the short last name". Is there a similar expression in English?)

When I returned home, the airco man just arrived. In the mean time, I had to take my sons to swimming class and we went half an hour early, because of the dinner.
When we were at swimming class, my wife called thet the dinner was canceled, because my father in law went sick.

When we arrived home, the airco man finished installing the airco and I paid him $ 100 for his work. After he left, I discovered that he damaged my network cable, so I had no fixed internet in my office.
I tried to find out where the cable exactly was damaged, but I couldn't find out, so at 9.30 I was still busy with that.

Then, on top of that, the power went out (for the second time this month), so I couldn't do anything. Our back-up generator died about a year ago and I still didn't have the parts to repair it.
Because I couldn't make a decent dinner, I ate white beans in tomato sauce, just out of the jar. Fortunately, my wife and kids already had some dinner.

Now I have some internet via an antique wireless USB dongle, about the size of a refrigerator, with a very bad connection of about once in five minutes.

The appointment of yesterday was rescheduled to today 9 AM, so when I finish my coffee I will go there and after that I will try to restore the fixed internet.

If it wasn't something to nearly cry about, I would laugh my ass off.
SIGH....

[_serenity_]

What are you going to do today?

NE, let's see if I can type this reply on my phone since I'm at work. I quit using a vaporizer/e-cig and it was the easiest thing ever! Totally painless. Most of my friends who've quit did the same thing. I highly recommend visiting a local vape shop if you want to quit.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

What are you going to do today?

Oh, Xadrian. That is such a bummer. I can't think of any expression in the U.S. like that. I like it, though. When I first got sober and that kind of stuff happened, it was almost exciting, because I was so calm about it all. Did you have that experience? Things just weren't as daunting as they were when I was a drunk. And I guess I didn't take them quite so personally, in a way. Now it's just one more aggravation. I miss feeling like it was a new and different challenge to be overcome. :H

There should be a catch-phrase for when all the little stuff just goes cattywampus. Other than "pain in the ass."

Serenity, I bought one. I've used it. I don't love it. Plus, it gave me a wicked sore throat. Like it was burning my throat? Maybe I'll get there?

[Ne/Neva Eva]

What are you going to do today?

Not trying to drown this thread in Ne-related-news. BUT...
My lab professor is used to teaching kids, and checks homework. Bad enough. But he checks pre-lab homework and post-lab homework. And we have to keep it all in a pretty little composition book. So. Very. Annoying.

On the other hand, I'm gonna get an easy A, because I will presumably be doing the homework. (I bet Stuck wishes he was still taking classes that assign homework and get checked answer by answer.)

Also, the kid next to me told a story about his father. Who is my age.

[Xadrian]

What are you going to do today?

I finally have normal internet again, after moving the modem, drilling a new hole in the wall of the house, installing a new steel support cable to my office (which by the way is a part of a sea container), nailing 80 feet of network cable against the back of the face board of the house and attaching it to the steel cable and having to attach a connector at both sides twice, because apparently one of the wires had a bad contact.

So, it's past 6.30PM and although I have been busy the whole day, it feels like I haven't done very much today.

Tomorrow, it's a national holiday and me, wife and kids are going to a reef island to relax (which is very difficult for me, because I hate doing nothing, so it's not what I call relaxing. For me relaxing is doing things that I don't mind to do, until they become boring and then do another thing that I don't mind to. As long as I don't HAVE to do things, because I really hate that.)
If it was for me, I rather finished the stairs, but the wife and boys like me to come to the reef, so I won't tell them no.

Anyway, I'm glad I fixed the network cable.

Now I'm going to watch an episode of "early edition". Anybody else liked that?


Ne, when I first started baclofen, all the small disappointments did not impress me very much and I easily could make a division in things that I could do something about (and then do something about it) and thinghs I couldn't do something about.
Now it seems more difficult to me. Maybe it's the huge amount of continuous stress.

Oh yeah, I have to tell you a sectret too.
Did you remember I told my wif in October or so that I didn't want a third child?
Well, less than a month later she announced that she was pregnant.
The baby will be born end of August and last week we heard it's a girl (which my wife hoped for, since we already have 2 boys).

Although it makes me happy one way, it gives additional stress in anther way.

[bkyogagurl]

What are you going to do today?

Kinda congrats X.... I'm kinda speechless... Because I know how up and down that can feel..

Ne... What was the story???

Ps. Not to keep bringing it up but my also sorry about your fur baby... I have a couple myself. Such a hard thing.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

What are you going to do today?

bkyogagurl;1665765 wrote:
Ne... What was the story???

Ps. Not to keep bringing it up but my also sorry about your fur baby... I have a couple myself. Such a hard thing.

Thanks, bk. It is what it is, and I don't really forget.

I told the group that my dog died. (It was relevant to the conversation, I swear.) He said his dog died on Christmas day last year, and it was terrible. Especially since his dad died a week before Christmas. And then he says, "And he was pretty young. He was only 46."

I kid you not. :H:H:H (I'm 44)

CONGRATULATIONS, X! That said, I totally understand what you're sayin'. It's not easy, that whole kid thing...

Good of you to go on the reef trip. Hope there something to keep you busy! I'd love to see a picture of the office setup. Sounds cool.

[redhead77]

What are you going to do today?

Real quick, I work tomorrow and it's getting late. I came home from work tonight and the baby birds are gone. I'm not sure what happened. Xadrian, you mentioned being on alert for predators. The biggest predator around here could be our cat Lola. She likes to escape the house when the weather is good, and kill everything in her path. She's quite the huntress when she feels like it.

I've known this. Talked to the kids and also my nanny last night. Had a plan in place. Lola goes in the basement during the "busy" hours around here. The hours when kids are in and out, and might forget, or not be careful enough to make sure the cat doesn't get out (3-7p). My plan included moving her stuff to the basement for those hours, and we were already doing it!

Well, she got out today. Apparently, my daughter left the door open-and why she wasn't in the basement, I'll never get a clear answer for. My nanny says that maybe they flew away, or were able to move to a different location on their own. Lola does usually leave her carcasses for me as a gift. And she was mostly hanging in the front of the house today. I'll never know what happened, but I am feeling very disappointed right now.

I guess this wasn't super quick after all.

Serenity, it's wonderful to hear from you! The things you planted are awesome. Best of luck to you that everything grows well and turns out.

Goodnight!

[bkyogagurl]

What are you going to do today?

Ne/Neva Eva;1665789 wrote: Thanks, bk. It is what it is, and I don't really forget.

I told the group that my dog died. (It was relevant to the conversation, I swear.) He said his dog died on Christmas day last year, and it was terrible. Especially since his dad died a week before Christmas. And then he says, "And he was pretty young. He was only 46."

Holy crap... That is sad....

Sometimes I wonder about Bac for myself... All the other meds I have tried don't seem to work for me in one way or another... I am just sick of pills in general as I mentioned.
I can so relate to your saying you couldn't pray/think/work/study/read/exercise/eat the drink away. Maybe taking me longer to find out this true resolution.

Anyway have a good night- see ya tomorrow:l

[Ne/Neva Eva]

What are you going to do today?

Ne/Neva Eva;1665789 wrote: Thanks, bk. It is what it is, and I don't really forget.

I told the group that my dog died. (It was relevant to the conversation, I swear.) He said his dog died on Christmas day last year, and it was terrible. Especially since his dad died a week before Christmas. And then he says, "And he was pretty young. He was only 46."

I kid you not. :H:H:H (I'm 44)bkyogagurl;1665832 wrote: Holy crap... That is sad....

Oh, man. I was so self-conscious all night about the fact that I put all those laughing emoticons after that statement about the guy's dad dying. It IS sad and I feel badly that I made light of it here.

Redhead, I am going to choose the "flew away" option. It seems just as plausible, right?

Today's a new day. We had a fantastic thunderstorm last night and it's cool here. (64F/18C) I'm going to play in the garden this morning, and then I don't know what.

Hope it's a good day, everybody!

[bkyogagurl]

What are you going to do today?

Ne- I totally get you and what you were saying... No judgement here. I'm the least judgmental person you will meet...

Have lots of fun in your garden. I love gardening as well but in the midst of my drinking it became tedious.
Today I'm going to hit the gym and get some overdue cardio in...
I'm looking forward to a day with no AL in it. I'm feeling good.
And I want to stay that way..
Have a good one...