Here we go again

[StuckinLA]

Here we go again

Not sure if you can revert back to iOS 7, but you might be able to google instructions on how to do so. A friend of mine is on the iPhone develoent team, and when I saw him in Denver on that vacation weekend he told me not to upgrade. He's frustrated with Apple and not pleased at all with the product they're putting out. And feels iOS 8 is a complete shitshow. Hopefully the updates will be good when they start rolling out.

Not much else to say. Stopped at the bar last night on my way home, thinking I'd have a couple beers while starting to grade papers. Ended up watching a football game and getting very drunk. Today was rough, but just had a work lunch/meeting. Am again at the bar - was getting kind of withdrawal-y - but this time actually grading and will be heading home fairly soon. Long day tomorrow again.

The girl's dad is having some serious memory and focus issues. No one knows why and I guess none of his doctors even saw him today. By the end of the day, I'm told, he didn't even remember who she was. That must have been hard. She and her mom are composing strongly worded emails to the hospital, and I've gotta get home in time for a phone call with her tonight.

Hope it's a good one, guys!

[anne1232]

Here we go again

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co...d-of-cake.html

Just substitute the word 'cake' with 'booze' and the mom, etc with everyone in your life....

[StuckinLA]

Here we go again

I love hyperbole and a half.

[Rand all]

Here we go again

Speaking of apple... Did any anyone see the complete nutjobs waiting for the release of the new iPhone? Apple fan boys are the worst lol. My sisters son messed up his apple Id on his new ipad air and she had to jump through hoops to get it sorted. Like im talking getting proof from her contract provider that she actually owned it and trying to get proof of id for a 14 year old! Am I right in thinking that the employees at apple stores are called geniuses!?!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Here we go again

I got beat up today (metaphorically) and I've got my final (finally!) tomorrow. All well, but wow. I'm exhausted with much more to do.
:l coming your way, everybody.

[Lostinspace]

Here we go again

Yeah, I'll have to look into whether or not it's possible to get iOS 7 back. I wish I had done more research before upgrading. I'm sorry to hear that your girlfriend's father is having more problems, Stuck. It's really heartbreaking when a loved one can no longer recognize you. Hopefully the doctors can figure out what's going on. I hope you're feeling better today withdrawal-wise and are surviving this busy week ok :l

I'm loving Hyperbole and a Half as well. Thanks again for the recommendation, anne, and the link, Ne. Although I have to say that some of what she writes on depression, while written from a humorous slant, is pretty heavy for me. I have a tendency where once I've made it over a major life hurdle and gotten to the other side, I downplay it in my mind and forget just how bad it was. It's like I could acknowledge that I've been depressed at various points in my life, but that word had completely lost all meaning. Reading her account of her own depression brought me back and made me remember what it was really like. It also made me incredibly grateful that I can no longer relate that mindset. Life is pretty good these days

Wow Ne, a final already? I guess you have different semester-type breakdowns in the EMT program. In any case, good luck!

Anyway, I started to type out a long, whiny rant about something that happened at work today that really upset me, but I decided to spare you all. Suffice it to say that even though I had wanted to drink at one point to drown the rage, I held off and am now starting to ponder more productive ways of approaching the situation. I hope you all have a great night :l

[StuckinLA]

Here we go again

Well, yesterday the "hangover remedy" ended up getting me more drunk than I was on Monday night. I emailed the professors I had meetings and classes with to say I wouldn't be able to make it in. Yeah, that bad. I went in for conferences with my students from 1:30 - 6, and that was all I was able to do. Anyway, today I am just drinking lots of fluids and getting the place cleaned up a little. Dishes, laundry. There's more to do of course but I won't get to all of it. Heading down to the conference tomorrow night and then picking the girl up Friday night.

Her dad's health is pretty much fine now, but no one has any answers about his mental status. So that's not good, and she's really upset. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers and all that, everybody. Hope it's a good one. :l

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Here we go again

I'm so glad that his mental status has returned to normal, Stuck. In my middle of the night pee break for the puppy, I read back and felt badly that I hadn't mentioned anything.
And really sorry to hear about all of the rest of it. :/

I'm an Apple junkie. I would have been waiting for the iPhone6 in a line somewhere, except I don't buy the first round of anything. I have a 4, because the 5 wasn't worth it, and have been waiting with bated breath for the 6. I am tempted, every now and then, to try a different brand. Especially since it's clear that Samsung is doing everything right. But why bother? I don't want to deal with the learning curve. Apple can have all my moneys. That said, I never upgrade my phone. It's two years old, and can't handle the new. I can relate.

Lis, the last year or so of Hyperbole has a lot to do with her struggles with depression. I have a hard time reading that stuff, too, even before I was depressed. But some of them are so damn funny, in spite of the undertone. I actually have a poster in my study of the post that says, "Maybe everything isn't hopeless bull shit after all." It's the girl dancing under a rainbow.
(There's some back story to the most recent depression posts...She disappeared for a long while! She was preparing the book for publishing, but explained that the depression kept her immobile and unable to do anything else. As one of the thousands of people who felt like I knew her personally, the absence was pretty disturbing.)
So what happened at work? Inquiring minds want to know.

Anne, it's nice to see you here! I agree that sugar has something that our brains crave. (The brain needs sugar to function, in general.) But I wonder if it isn't linked to all of this fascinating stuff the researchers are finding out about stomach enzymes and digestion...Or lack of digestion, as that is what it looks like happens for some people. (I'm really surprised, Lis, that the rate is only 35%. I bet it's higher than that, among women alcoholics in particular. Men have different coping mechanisms. How many of you have spent enough time in AA to meet the guys who get sober and discover a whole new obsession with sex? I'm generalizing I guess, but it seems to me the stereotypical 13-step thing is based in reality.) [Every time I post stuff like this, I think about terryk swooping in and being like, "WTF are you talking about, Ne? Where's the SCIENCE??? :H Whatever, tk. I know I'm right-ish. lolol. And hi.]

I worry, though, that this attention to sugar and diet is just one more thing for us to obsess about. I'm old enough to remember when people thought carbs were the answer to all of life's persistent questions. And that fat (in food) was the enemy. Eggs were bad. Oatmeal was the answer! Now we demonize gluten in particular and carbs in general, fat and eggs are good, and so is chocolate (which I never doubted). The list goes on, of course. I'm just saying that when I see posts on here related to really restrictive diets, or weight, I can't help but wonder if it's obsession-transference. Also, if sugar fills a void, then cutting it out altogether (or anything drastic, for that matter) seems to me to be counter-productive to early sobriety. It also seems to go hand-in-hand with binge eating. When I eat too much sugar I have a hangover that is not dissimilar to booze. On the other hand, I can't really go without chocolate on a daily basis. I would fail the marshmallow test every single time. It makes me sad, but it's the absolute truth.

The class I'm taking is accelerated, so it's not on a semester or quarter schedule. The final is in T-3, and I should be looking over my notes. I just can't. I've got a high enough grade that I'd have to turn in a blank exam to lose the grade, so it's doubly hard to be bothered. But I'm going to sign off and try...

[StuckinLA]

Here we go again

Eek. Guess I miswrote that update on her dad. The mental status change is ongoing and possibly permanent, no one knows why and she's trying to get answers today. He doesn't really remember who she is. It is... difficult.

[Lostinspace]

Here we go again

I'm sorry you had a rough couple days, Stuck, but it's good to hear that you're taking care of yourself today. The weekend, and the return of your girlfriend, is almost here. Hang in there. I'm glad to hear that her father is doing better physically, at least. I really hope his doctors will soon find out what's causing the memory and focus problems.

I loved that picture, Ne - the one you have as a poster on your wall. It's a good motto for life during dark times. And I definitely agree that there are a lot of men that move towards sex as a replacement for alcohol. No scientific studies are needed to prove that. I dealt with plenty of 13th steppers back when I was going to meetings. And the ones who hit on me were always . . . I was trying to think of a nice way of putting it, but I can't, so I'll leave it alone. Let's just say I didn't feel very flattered :H

I'm also old enough to remember the "carbs are good, fat is bad" days. I'm very skeptical of any diet that demonizes an entire macronutrient, but I'm even more leery of the current trend of demonizing carbs. Our brains run almost entirely off of carbohydrates. While it's true that our bodies can convert certain amino acids into glucose, it's not the most efficient way of giving our bodies what they need. It'll be interesting to see what the new trend will be, and how soon it'll be that we realize that living off of meat and green vegetables is not the healthiest way to live. I'm pretty sure that this current paleo trend will die off within the next decade.

And I agree that all the focus on diet can become an obsession transference, but if it's an obsession with being healthy, at least that's a step in the right direction. It can, however, lead to binging in some people. I know for myself, I was an overeater as a child, but I never crossed over into out-of-control binge eating until after I followed a very restrictive diet for a couple months. I guess it really just depends on the person. Some people seem able to follow those types of eating plans indefinitely, while others experience the backlash and start binging. Anyway, I hope your final went well today

I really need to get my license back so that I'm not so restricted, and can look for better jobs, because my current job pisses me off on so many levels. I'm becoming more and more impatient to hear back from the DMV ever since I finally got all the paperwork I needed sent off to them. Although the last time I paid bills online, I did see from my online banking that they already cashed the $100 reapplication fee that I had to submit, the bastards. According to their website, it takes them 12 weeks to respond to my application, but of course it only takes one week to take my money. Grrrr!

And besides getting a much needed better job, I also want to get in better shape. Right now I walk during the 40 minute wait I have between the two buses that get me home from work, but I really want to bump it up a notch and start running. I can't do it downtown because I have my bulky backpack with me, and obviously, there's no place to drop it off where it won't be stolen. But I can't do it when I get home, either. I live in the middle of a VERY long, ass-busting hill that I have enough trouble just walking up to get home from the bus stop.

Once I start driving, though, I can go to a local park and run there. Plus, we have a gym in town that only costs $20 to join and $10 a month thereafter. It's a pretty bare bones gym - there are no fitness classes or a pool, but it's got enough to get in shape. I swear, when I look at car ads online, I get the same kind of titillating rush that a lot of people get from porno. God, I can't wait! Anyway, I'll shut up about driving now. I hope you all have a great night :l

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Here we go again

Stuck! I'm sorry I misread your post. That is really disturbing and very sad. I'm sorry. I am sure you'll knock 'em dead this morning, but know that I'm thinking about you!

Great post, Lis. I almost laughed aloud about the car thing. When we bought a car this summer, I completely lost it at one of the dealerships we went to. In my defense, I told everyone I needed to eat. My husband in particular should've seen it coming! The salesman kept insisting that we take the car to lunch. I finally stood up and shouted that we were leaving, with no lack of expletives. Ed and I were furious with each other for at least an hour...Good times. We bought a car from the guy who let us walk away without too much of a hassle. I plan on having both of our cars until we can afford to walk in and pay cash for a Tesla. It might be a decade, but I will own a Tesla. Maybe by then there will be a $20k version.

We're waiting on word from the DMV about Ed's license, too. Also have "up to" 12 weeks to wait. You might remember that his was from a DUI when he was 19 yo--in 1989. And that we thought it was all taken care of many times over. So absurd. I cannot imagine what will happen, honestly, since they may insist that he do treatment, or get a breathalyzer, or any of the other money-making punishments society imposes on us. Whatever. I'm really glad that you are taking care of it right now!

I actually need to do something about my diet, since I have to lose 20 lbs in the next month. (I'm kidding!) A diet of whatever I want, whenever I want, including daily Haagen Dasz ingestion, has led to some uncomfortable weight gain. I really miss my clothes. A friend had a little get-together last night and I had to squeeze into some jeans, instead of the stand-by yoga pants, and it was mighty uncomfortable.

The good news is that I'm done with the EMT class and I can focus on exercise now. I read somewhere that the prescription for treatment for depression is 30 min of exercise everyday. That seems like a relatively reasonable goal. (Information about exercise, like the food thing, is so completely kerfuffled it's hard to pay attention to any of it--or easy to get obsessive about one aspect of it. So a simple goal is going to work best for me.) It was great to get out of the house on a daily basis, and be mentally and physically engaged for long days at a time. Clearly, just what the doctor would have ordered, had there been a doctor, and had I listened to her. ha.

My folks are coming for my birthday this weekend, so lots to do in preparation. And lots of other homework that I neglected while I was cramming for EMT. It will be really nice to take care of the stuff that got neglected. We had someone come in and clean this week, which is something that makes a huge difference in my overall well-being. I am full of gratitude that we can do that. It's a little thing, but expensive, and wow! Makes a huge difference. First thing I'm going to do with my job money is have someone come weekly. It's so nice to have the house straight, and a great way to be able to focus on the bigger things I want to do.

It's a blustery fall day, and I'm going to open up the house as soon as Ed leaves for work.
xo

[Lostinspace]

Here we go again

I'm so sorry, Ne. I had forgotten about Ed's situation with the DMV. That's so infuriating to have to deal with something from 25 years ago. And it is all about the money. They try to hit you where it hurts most.

As far as losing weight goes, have you looked into getting any of fhe fitness and nutrition apps? After being impressed by Skull's post on what he was doing to improve his diet, I came across an article that talked about the myfitnesspal app. I downloaded it to check it out. I'm using it in weight maintenance mode, more just to get a sense of where I could use some improvement (apparently I need more protein, less sugar and WAY less sodium in my diet). You can use it to help you lose weight as well, though. It calculates how many calories to eat based on your height, weight, activity level and goals.

It's really easy to use and the database has pretty much every single food known to the modern world, along with the carb/protein/fat breakdown, sugar and sodium content, fiber, vitamins, minerals, cholesterol, etc (I don't know if you care about this crap or not). It adds everything up for you and helps you to see whether or not you're eating a balanced diet, so that you can make adjustments to what you're eating as you go along.

Anyway, congratulations on finishing the EMT program! And in case you don't check in while your folks are in town, have a happy birthday.

We're having a brief resurgence of summer where I live, with temperatures in the low 70s. It's supposed to be sunny and low 70s all weekend, so I'll probably be basically living outdoors to soak up the rest of the nice weather before it goes away for another year. Anyway, not much to say today. I hope you all have a good night :l

[StuckinLA]

Here we go again

Hey everybody. Guess the site's going down for a week or something after the weekend? I figured I'd better check in before that happens. The conference went well - thanks for thinking of me. The girl's delayed in Phoenix right now, and will be getting in in a couple hours. So just hanging out and waiting to pick her up, and then to see how she's doing and what she needs, ya' know? I don't even know how to do this "be there" for someone shit, but gotta give it a try. Anyway, hope everybody's doing well and hanging in there. :l

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Here we go again

Listen, Stuck. Just listen. That's the "being there". I suck at it. I remember reading once that men have a tendency to try to fix things, offer solutions and insights and such, when they hear about problems. And that women are just sharing the information, not looking for feedback, but for empathy. That may be hogwash, but it made me realize that I often listen with an ear toward solutions rather than empathy. This drives my husband and best friend absolutely crazy. Plus, it's a terrible way to communicate. (As though the other person can't figure it out!) I think I did this to you, too. (I suppose I'm doing it now, even!) Grieving is extremely personal and isolating. (And she'll be grieving even though he's alive.) I was fairly certain no one wanted to hear from me, or listen to yet another barrage about my grief or the many things I was struggling with. It might be a long while before things turn normal. Of course, I could be all wrong and should mind my own business. Anyway, I am thinking of you a whole lot.

Lis, I'm pretty zen about the whole DMV thing. It's one of those immovable forces or whatever. Not a damn thing I can do about it. I shudder to think about the cost, though. Maybe we'll get lucky?

I will definitely get the app. Thanks for the recommendation. I don't diet for all of the reasons that we've mentioned, but I can definitely use some information just to keep track of where and what I eat. Ed had a really late function last night and so I was on my own. I had ice cream and sunflower seeds for dinner. Clearly not focusing on my health, am I?

Ed got me a massage and stuff for my birthday, and included my mom. Which is really nice. Is it so wrong that I wish we were just hanging out here and putzing around in the garden? Everything still feels chaotic, and I'm still pulling out of this terrible depression, I could really use the help to stay focused and get some stuff done around here. Then I remind myself that it can't be all f*cking work and chores and stuff. Still, I love spending time in the garden with my mom. Maybe we'll get a chance afterward? It's going to be beautiful here, too. Fall weather--it'll be in the low 70s. :H

wth is this about the site going down? for a WEEK? That will be the longest I've gone without MWO in ~4 years! By about 5 days! What is a woman to do?

[Lostinspace]

Here we go again

Well, I guess your girlfriend's already home now, Stuck, but don't worry too much about the whole "being there for her" thing. I don't have much to add to what Ne said, but just keep in mind that most people aren't very good at this. As long as you listen to her and make yourself available, she'll appreciate it. Also keep in mind that if she shows frustration, it's very likely not directed at you or anything you're doing wrong, but is just a reflection of the helplessness she feels about the whole situation. I'll be thinking of you :l

And yeah, Ne. I like the app because it allows me to focus on my eating enough to make positive changes, but without becoming overly obsessed. I plan on using it only long enough to get a general sense of what a balanced diet looks like, then I'll scrap it. And that's nice that Ed's getting you a massage. Try to enjoy the day off instead of focusing on what hasn't yet gotten done. You'll have time to worry about all that stuff later, now that you've finished the EMT program.

And yup, the site's gonna be down from Monday to Friday. Read the most recent thread under "We're Moving!" It's gonna suck, but I guess it must be done. I hate to say it, but I'm feeling a little paranoid about the move, too. While I have full confidence that this site will be back up and running in some manner, shape or form, I'm worried that even more threads will be lost with the next move. So tomorrow night, I'm gonna sit down and copy and paste my entire thread into a Pages document for safe keeping. This thread is the only journal I have of my bac experience and I don't want to lose it.

Anyway, I'll be back later. I hope you all have a good one :l