Here we go again

[Stevo]

Quiet around here lately,just wanted say a quick g'day.

Not really much to say though,I have a really boring life haha.

Hope everyone is well.

Cheers Stevo.

[treetops]

How are you doing Lis? Guess you are back from the weekend. Have things thawed a bit with hubby?
Thinking of you xxxx

[Lostinspace]

Hey Stevo. Man, it really is quiet around here. Not just on this thread, but on the forum in general. I thought I would come back to a flurry of posts, but it looks like only the Topa thread is alive and kicking. Anyway, it’s good to see you and I’m glad to hear your life is still boring That’s a good thing for folks like us.

treetops - Thanks for thinking of me. Things have thawed a bit with my husband. We’ve actually started talking - and not just about need to know only type stuff, but actually asking each other how our days went, etc. It’s really nice. Hopefully we’ll be back to our old spark soon.

It’s hard to believe that I’ve gone 12 days without drinking! I can’t remember the last time that happened. Actually, I can, but that’s not the point. I’m happy to say that baclofen finally seems to be doing its job. Between going up in dose and forcing myself to stop drinking, my cravings are minimal. I still have a desire to get out of my head, but strangely enough, I want to smoke a couple bowls rather than drink. I’m trying not to do that either, though, both because my current life situation demands that I keep my system clean, and because I want to learn how to navigate this whole strange thing called life with a clear head. Anyway, I hope everyone out there is having a good one!

[treetops]

You sound good Lis and I am really glad that you are able to chat to your partner. It's also great that you have so many AF days and the Bac is helping you in this. It won't be boring forever - I don't believe that! Even I have my moments of outrageousness.

[MeJustMe]

LIS - so glad you have 12 days - wow, good stuff! And also to hear that you and your husband are talking again. That dialogue is really, really important. Ask me how I know... Also, have you thought about counselling? It so much depends on the quality of the councillor (sp?) but to have someone you can download all this stuff to, and get feedback at the time, it can be really useful.

Steveo - boring? Ha! I'm jealous! Good to hear mate, that is actually a good thing (for people like us) as I'm sure you know.

Me? Well, I thought you'd never ask . Actually, I feel very self-centred with most of my posts here, esp since this is LIS's thread...

Well, (sigh) I am still drinking and on 100mg Bac. I now have a new script for Antibuse which I will fill tomorrow; this will put the brakes on my drinking.

I will tritrate up to abt 120mg and hopefully this will stop the cravings.

My work is very successful at the moment - as a freelance writer with AL addiction, that is always changeable.

My mum went back into hospital after a week at home. My dad has admitted he can't look after her anymore. So we're looking at aged care facilities for mum. I still find this all really hard - if mum died tomorrow, well yes I would be upset and grieve... But at least I could seek closure. Right now, my mum is alive but wants to die and is not the mum I knew all my life. That is so hard.

[StuckinLA]

Hey everyone, I haven't been around much because I updated all my computer and phone software and switched the web browser I'm using and couldn't find my passwords. And because I've been drinking. Pretty much all day every day. I've been reading, though, what little has been posted. Everyone seems like they just have other things going on - and that's good.

Sending hugs your way, MJM.

And a huge high-five to you, Lis, on 12 days. That is really awesome and I'm so glad things are thawing with your husband. I'm hoping to get myself back on track and maybe have some of that thawing here, as well. The futon is unfolded and made up as a bed in the living room and it seems like the girl doesn't have any intentions of sleeping in the same room with me any time soon. I can't really say I blame her. I'm just getting drunk all day and passing out and not getting any work done and not much fun to be around at all.

I have an interview this afternoon with a part-time teaching gig. It's not much money at all, even by adjunct standards, but it would only be one day a week for the fall quarter. And, well, nothing else on the radar so I have to get money somehow. The interview isn't until this evening, so I'm using that as a reason to get myself sobered up - no day drinking today. I'm going to go for a nice long walk and just kind of pull myself together. I doubt that will make much of a long-term difference in my relationship, this morning she left a note with her schedule for the rest of the week so she pretty much doesn't have to talk to me again until Sunday. Anyway, I'll be around again soon. Take care, everybody.

[Spiritfree]

Hey everyone, I haven't been around much because I updated all my computer and phone software and switched the web browser I'm using and couldn't find my passwords. And because I've been drinking. Pretty much all day every day. I've been reading, though, what little has been posted. Everyone seems like they just have other things going on - and that's good.

Sending hugs your way, MJM.

And a huge high-five to you, Lis, on 12 days. That is really awesome and I'm so glad things are thawing with your husband. I'm hoping to get myself back on track and maybe have some of that thawing here, as well. The futon is unfolded and made up as a bed in the living room and it seems like the girl doesn't have any intentions of sleeping in the same room with me any time soon. I can't really say I blame her. I'm just getting drunk all day and passing out and not getting any work done and not much fun to be around at all.

I have an interview this afternoon with a part-time teaching gig. It's not much money at all, even by adjunct standards, but it would only be one day a week for the fall quarter. And, well, nothing else on the radar so I have to get money somehow. The interview isn't until this evening, so I'm using that as a reason to get myself sobered up - no day drinking today. I'm going to go for a nice long walk and just kind of pull myself together. I doubt that will make much of a long-term difference in my relationship, this morning she left a note with her schedule for the rest of the week so she pretty much doesn't have to talk to me again until Sunday. Anyway, I'll be around again soon. Take care, everybody.

Stuck - I am sorry that you are having to experience this experience. I hope all turns around for you in the near term. --sf--

[Lostinspace]

Thanks, treetops. Boredom really is a big part of why I want to escape right now. I’m not used to entertaining myself. When I’m buzzed, anything is fun, even just lying on the couch. I’ll take your word for it that it gets better, though.

MJM - I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. That must be so rough watching her just give up and change from the woman you knew all your life. I hope you’re able to give yourself some distance from the situation. I mean sure, go visit her to let her know you care, but take as much time to yourself as you need to take your mind off of everything and regroup. I’m glad to hear you’re gonna start on Antabuse. That’ll definitely put you back on the path you want to be on until you can get high enough on bac that the cravings are no longer an issue. 100 mg is still pretty low, and with all the stress you’re under, it’s no wonder you’re still having trouble staying sober. Please don’t get down on yourself at all - you’re doing everything you can to try to reach your AF goal. Hang in there :hug:

Stuck - I’m so sorry you’re now going through relationship problems, too. I very much hope for your sake that things start to thaw between you two, as well. And no, there’s nothing you can do today that will make everything fine and dandy by tomorrow, but not drinking today is a great first step. You were doing really well for a while, and I know you can get back there. It’s not gonna be easy, especially when you’re at home with all the silence and resentment, but just do whatever you can to distract yourself long enough to get back on track. You don’t have to do anything productive, you don’t have to work on your novel (unless you actually want to). Just do whatever helps take your mind off drinking, and off the relationship. Go for a walk, read, cook, watch a movie, whatever helps. You’re gonna be OK. Hang in there, my friend :hug:

I’ve had another good AF day, and am now having another evening of listlessness. I’m still making sure to get some form of exercise each night, but then I get home and I think “now what?” I need to get some hobbies and/or get out into the world and actually DO things. I just don’t know what. Oh well, I’ll figure it out. Anyway, I hope everyone out there is having a good one!

[Spiritfree]

Hi LIS -regarding boredom -check out the MEETUP groups online. Go do something with a group that feels totally uncomfortable but something that you might have just a slight interest in. I am such a freaking introvert that I declined to even try to do something like this until I signed up with a meetup group that involved hiking in the mountains. I remember saying this is all bullcrap -I love to hike by my self -not with others. When I finally did meet up with them and went on the mountain hike, I could not believe that I had refused to do this in the past. Just a thought. --sf--

[kronkcarr]

Thanks, treetops. Boredom really is a big part of why I want to escape right now. I’m not used to entertaining myself. When I’m buzzed, anything is fun, even just lying on the couch. I’ll take your word for it that it gets better, though.


I’ve had another good AF day, and am now having another evening of listlessness. I’m still making sure to get some form of exercise each night, but then I get home and I think “now what?” I need to get some hobbies and/or get out into the world and actually DO things. I just don’t know what. Oh well, I’ll figure it out. Anyway, I hope everyone out there is having a good one!

Congrats Lis! Give yourself a pat for your AF days. You actually said,"another good AF day". Did you catch that? I'm happy for you.

Boredom was an issue for me too. Maybe you and your honey can find something you used to like doing together or find something new together. Or dig out an old project and start back with it. It's great you're doing some sort of exercise daily. Rock on Sister!

Everyone else hang tough. Happy almost weekend.

[Spiritfree]

Hi LIS - When you mentioned boredom as a problem, it brought back many of my memories of feeling bored after stopping alcohol. Many times, my issues with boredom did lead me right back to the firewater. For some unknown reason, when I started with baclofen, my brain changed to point that it was much more interested in 'things' outside of alcohol. I was/am lucky -I guess (but this lack of boredom only started after about 30 days af free and taking Baclofen)

Boredom is such a huge issue for many in recovery, I thought that I would post some information that I found regarding boredom-recovery:

"Boredom and Substance Abuse
The Relationship between Substance Abuse and Boredom
Boredom is closely related to substance abuse in a number of different ways. It is a common reason for why people first experiment with alcohol or drugs. It can also be a good excuse to keep on returning to these substances. This can eventually meant that the individual develops a dependency. Fear that life away from alcohol or drugs will be boring can keep people trapped in their addiction. Even those who do find their way into recovery will be at high risk of relapse if they are regularly bored.

Boredom Defined
Boredom is something that almost every individual will have experienced from time to time. One way of describing it would be to say that it is a state of mind that people experience when they have nothing to do and they lack interest in their surroundings. Another definition describes boredom as being restless and weary because of a lack of interest in things.

Boredom and Substance Abuse
In a UK survey it was found that 29% of teenagers had turned to alcohol as a means to relieve boredom. This emotion is also blamed for fueling much of the binge drinking culture that exists in western countries.

People feel that they have nothing better to do so they turn to alcohol or drugs for entertainment. If people do this regularly they risk developing a dependency on these substances. Addiction destroys mental and physical health and there are also many negative social consequences of this behavior. It is therefore crucial that people turn to options other than alcohol or drugs to relieve boredom.

Life in Recovery Can be Associated with Boredom
One of the reasons why people are reluctant to escape addiction is that they fear that life in recovery will be boring. They imagine a grey future where their life will be focused around not doing that one thing they really enjoy. While boredom may appear like a trivial thing to a lot of people, the fear of it can drive an addiction by stopping people from seeking help. The sad thing is that it is really the life of the addict that is boring and predictable.

Many of those who do escape addiction will claim that boredom is the least of their problems. In fact they will often complain that there is not enough hours in the day to do all the things they want to do. Freedom from addiction greatly increases the options that people have in life. They can become involved in new activities or revisit old hobbies that they gave up during their years of substance abuse. Of course life is what people make of it, and avoiding boredom does require a bit of effort.

Boredom and Relapse
Boredom is a relapse trigger that often gets used as an excuse to return to alcohol or drugs. If people do not feel like their life in recovery is meaningful and fun they begin to miss the bad old days. This is particularly likely to happen in the early weeks and months of sobriety when people are still trying to find their feet. Addictions use up a lot of time so once people enter recovery they find that they have a lot of spare time on their hands. If they do not find ways to fill this time then it can mean that they end up feeling bored a lot of the time.

How to Avoid Boredom
Avoiding boredom can help people avoid substance abuse and generally improve their mental health. Those who are recovering from an addiction will need to do all they can to avoid this negative emotion. Here are just a few ideas for how people can avoid boredom:

* It has been shown that having a hobby is important for mental health. This provides a focus of interest and it also often proves to be a good way to meet new people as well. The important thing about any hobby is that it involves something that people feel passionate about.
* Planning ahead to avoid boredom is a great approach. If people know that there are times when they have nothing to do they can plan to use this time productively.
* Breaking away from the routine is always a good way to combat boredom. Even just taking a different route to work can prove highly beneficial.
* If people have unpleasant tasks ahead of them there may be a high risk of boredom. Following these tasks up with more pleasant activities can keep people motivated and less likely to become bored.
* If people are feeling bored then a change of scenery can counteract this. Just going for a walk can be enough to dispel this emotion. The important thing is to not just sit with it.
* Never use alcohol or drugs as a means to deal with boredom. This can easily lead to addiction and all the mental and physical problems associated with that.
* Mindfulness meditation can be an effective technique for dealing with boredom. This involves observing emotions without becoming too caught up in them. By examining emotions in this way it is said to remove much of the sting from them.

[Lostinspace]

Thanks for the suggestions, Spirit. I’ve tried looking up meetup groups in my area and there aren’t many I’d be interested in. And those that are haven’t been active in months. That was a while back, though. I can try looking at it again.

Thanks, kronk. I’ve been trying to think of new things to do and drawing a blank. What we used to do is go backpacking, but my husband has developed pretty bad arthritis in his ankles and knees the last few years. It sucks. Anyway, happy almost weekend to you, too.

[Spiritfree]

Thanks for the suggestions, Spirit. I’ve tried looking up meetup groups in my area and there aren’t many I’d be interested in. And those that are haven’t been active in months. That was a while back, though. I can try looking at it again.

Thanks, kronk. I’ve been trying to think of new things to do and drawing a blank. What we used to do is go backpacking, but my husband has developed pretty bad arthritis in his ankles and knees the last few years. It sucks. Anyway, happy almost weekend to you, too.

Hi LIS -yes, I know what you are talking about in not finding any interesting 'meet-up' groups. However, you might just want to step out there and try something 'stupid' -so to speak. Something that you are totally not interested in. After 5 minutes of poetry from xyz, you can leave and at least say to yourself you tried something stupid and boring.

Regardless LIS, I just remember how tough boredom can be -especially in the first month or two -af. My wife and I enjoy a few certain things together (movies and hiking), but otherwise, we love our independence and going and doing our 'own' things (thank god -after 30 years, it should be this way). Thank goodness my wife gave me the freedom (always has) to go out and do my own 'thing' (except for the drinking part -lol).

Peace to ya LIS --

--sf--

[StuckinLA]

Earlier this week I told myself I would quit smoking on Sunday, tomorrow. I plan to stick to that promise I made to myself. I have nicotine patches and, while I did just buy a pack of cigarettes to last the rest of today, I bought only one pack.

I feel like complete and utter crap today - after drinking the last couple days straight. The girl is being much nicer than I deserve, and I think she will continue being supportive. Of course, part of the quitting smoking thing is that I'll have to quit drinking as well, if I am to have any chance of success. That, too, is something I want to do very badly.

I really am quite depressed, anxious, worried about the world and not having a job and about not writing and I'm deathly afraid of dying. Part of quitting these vices is an affirmation of life, but another big part is facing the harsh reality that the things I've been doing are probably killing me.

I guess I just wanted to put that out there. I have higher hopes for not drinking for a while than I do about not smoking, but I made sure I don't have any responsibilities for the next two weeks, after today, which is why I picked tomorrow. The way the boozing has been going, I am ready for a break.

I've got enough Ativan to get me through, and I'm going to end my last class a little early today. Hope everyone is having a good one.

[jane27]

I know you can do it Stuck. Its great that you have a lighter load for the next 2 weeks. I found it tremendously helpful the first weeks to remind myself that I didn't have to DO anything at all. The only thing I had to NOT do was drink. I don't think i left home much. When I did for the first time , I felt pangs of longing just driviing by one of my old liquor stores. That's when I come up with the heroin trick. In my head, I converted alcohol into heroin, and said 'Nope, I don't shoot heroin. Tourniquette, syringe, heroin - not an option. Helped me take AL off the table long enough to get through the drive by. It was a giant game of pretend (solitaire style). Kind of like being on an island. It has to be different than what you've known in some way that is easily recognizable to you. Absolving myself of any and all responsibility ( including getting dressed before 5pm) helped me achieve that. That and a LOT of self brainwashing, and killing time on the Internet. I'm rooting for you.