2 weeks in

[tee111]

2 weeks in

Thanks kronkcarr. This has been such a long and hard battle that I'm still trying to come to terms with the thinking that I might have finally found what I've been looking for. It all just seems to easy and I feel like its all gonna just stop working at some point. But I know from the literally 100s of success stories that it really is a cure and its does last.

I can't put it into words how much drink totally took over my thoughts up until 2 weeks ago. I literally started thinking about booze from the moment i woke. It was driving me insane I don't earn much money and sometimes I just felt embarrassment in having to ask (beg really) just for a few pound to buy some cheap ass beer at as high an abv I could afford.

Now when if the thought of drink comes into my mind which is rarely, it goes as quick as it comes. Baclofen is a true wonder drug.

[bleep]

2 weeks in

Very glad to hear it has worked so nicely for you. It really is amazing.

[Lostinspace]

2 weeks in

That's great, tee! It sounds like you truly made it to the other side. Congrats!

[tee111]

2 weeks in

Thanks again everyone. I had 2 beer last night. Enjoyed the first and opened the second and promptly feel a sleep. I'd have been better having a can of coke ffs. Even one beer makes me feel guilty now. I fu?king hate the thought of booze. Still on 100 though. The tiredness has gotten real bad. I can hardly keep my eyes open after 6.

[tee111]

2 weeks in

Thanks again everyone. I had 2 beer last night. Enjoyed the first and opened the second and promptly feel a sleep. I'd have been better having a can of coke ffs. Even one beer makes me feel guilty now. I fu?king hate the thought of booze. Still on 100 though. The tiredness has gotten real bad. I can hardly keep my eyes open after 6.

[tee111]

2 weeks in

Got up this morning and poured the remaining 2 cans down the drain. I fucking hate the sight of booze. The thought that popped into my head last night to go and get some I guess was just that age old habit of wanting a beer. Time will be the only healer for that I guess.

I'm all for those who like a beer or a glass of nice wine. Not gonna get caught up in the bullshit talk that's been going on lately on here. I've just always been fascinated with the thought of being teetotal. It would make me so proud.

Had a cracking run and bike ride earlier with no real nausea to speak of. Last time with Bac I had it bad although not as bad as when on TSM with Naltrexone (that was brutal). My goal now is to loss my belly fat. I've a pretty slim build at 6ft and 175lb, sort of wirey. 160s my goal. Its all basically drinking weight as I'm not a massive eater so it shouldn't be too hard to get off.

[tee111]

2 weeks in

Got my Vioridon from Goldpharma this morning and have switched straight over from Aluid. Early days but I don't feel as monged out for want of a better word. Could well be placebo but I'll know son enough. Slightly switching my schedule to 30/20/30/20 as they're 10mg pills.

On a different note and a slightly personal one at that. Also one for the guys. I've noticed a few sexual SEs. More to the point I'm finding it real hard to "finish". Sex drive is as high as ever maybe even more so but fuk I'm just finded it hard to "get there" and believe me it not for want of trying.

On a more positive note...

I've heart scared of saying I'm there or that I'm "indifferent" or that I've hit my "switch" but I'm truly not at all thinking about booze. And at 100mg (100 fucking mgs!) I mean I can't put it into works how much my mind set has changed. I've OCD and with OCD.. Intrusive thoughts and Booze my mind was never my own. I would have full blown arguments with myself. I'm sure you've all been there. From the moment I woke to the moment I either went to bed or broke it was mental torture.

I see no reason not to call it a win as I really think that I've beat this fucking shit head of a curse but like most people with a drug or drink problem I've had many a false dawn and hate to think its all gonna go to shit.

I had a chat to my mum about how thinks happen for a reason. I'm a true believer in fate and I believe that shit happens for a reason. I'm 38 this month. Not exactly young anymore but not old either. But life after a problem with addition seem like anything might be possible. Its so exciting in a way.

I've used drugs from an early age.. Was fasanited by them and booze. since I pre teens. Drugs at some points in my life more so that the drink but that old saying that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger is true as fuck. Without a doubt. I've seen some folk complaining about a hangover and that they fell like shit but when you've gone through alcohol withdrawals (although mild) and came off of a week long Cocaine/MDMA binge everything seems like a walk in the part. I can count about 3-4 times I think I had a close call with not making it. Everyday you wake up sober is a good day. Its like the first few days after you've an illness where you though you where on your way out. Everything seems so fucking bright lol.

I wouldn't change a thing about my past even if I could. I really wouldn't want to go through it all again even if I knew what I knew now. I've been lucky in some respects as I've known a lot of people who haven't made it this far through mostly drugs.. drink.. and joyriding.

Sorry if I'm rambling. I just feel like life's thrown me a lifeline and I hope I grab it by the balls and start living it.

[davelet]

2 weeks in

Hi Tee

I have the same sexual SEs. It's very frustrating as you say, but from what I gather not unusual when you are on baclofen.

[Lostinspace]

2 weeks in

tee - It's so great to hear how much better things are for you now and how good you're feeling. By all means, grab that lifeline and go with it. Although, it doesn't sound like you'll have any trouble doing that - you have a great outlook!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

2 weeks in

tee, your post makes my heart happy. Thanks for sharing all of that.

I felt the same way...A lifetime of infinite possibilities awaited because I wasn't held hostage anymore. It wore off, but every now and then I realize it is still, and will always be, true. I was 39 when I decided that I was going to do anything and everything I could to get free. I was 40 when I read Ameisen's book and found out about baclofen, and then found MWO. I was 41 when I finally stopped drinking against my will.

The first time I tried to get sober, by attending AA and attempting to abstain, was when I was ~25. Unlike you, I wouldn't do it all again. I try not to have any regrets, but dammit, it's a terrible thing to be addicted. It is an unbelievable gift, and a medical-miracle, that I'm free.

Thanks for the reminder. Huge hugs of gratitude to you.

PS. My husband had some problems like that. They went away. The sex is now (even now!) mind-blowing. and :blush:

[kronkcarr]

2 weeks in

tee,

Yay!! Here's my early baclofen theme song:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wqSXfDNP9C4

[tee111]

2 weeks in

kronkcarr;1683385 wrote: tee,

Yay!! Here's my early baclofen theme song:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wqSXfDNP9C4

Sums it up pretty well kronk:goodjob:

Regarding the change of brand... The Vioridon seem to be doing the job fine.

[Lostinspace]

2 weeks in

Thanks for sharing that kronk. I haven't even reached indifference yet, but things have already started to turn around tremendously for me. It does feel like a brand new day. I can only imagine how much better it gets once the obsession is truly behind me.