Post TSM

[spiritwolf333]

Hi Cure -You seem to bring valid information to the forum. As we can see on some threads here, people have tried medications to no avail -but they were trying to be totally abstinent. These same people keep posting their drunkalogs and are finding no real answerers. Should these folks be willing to explore the TSM idea, there world may change. There is a place for some to try the TSM method. This method needs more light.

[YouKayBee]

Thanks for that link, very informative.

I am still AF, which makes 16 months or 1 year and 4 months. This is my longest AF time since my mid-teens and by a long chalk since alcohol became a problem. Prior to TSM I have only ever managed just under 6 months AF during which I was hanging on for grim life!

[Snapdragon]

Hi UKB - you are a great inspiration to me. I am now on my 5th week TSM and my drinking level has already dropped by 1/3rd with no effort and I hope to one day be in the position you are.

I admire that you did not drink during that moment of madness and craving - however, I think it is important to say (because that is what makes TSM different from any other form of abstinence) that if you did really, really want that drink on that day, as long as you took your Naltrexone one hour before you drank you would NOT be back to square one and on the slippery slope to out of control drinking again. In fact as you say, if you did have that drink, you probably would have had a hangover from hell and decided not to try it again anyway - as the Nal would have stopped the buzz.

I think that this is why TSM works for so many people - you can drink if you want to - as long as you take a pill one hour before. On the TSM forum there are many people who have now been AF for several years on TSM, but still always keep a Naltrexone to hand - just in case. This gives choice. No white knuckling, no deprivation, if you want it you can - but most choose not too.

[YouKayBee]

Hi UKB - you are a great inspiration to me. I am now on my 5th week TSM and my drinking level has already dropped by 1/3rd with no effort and I hope to one day be in the position you are.

I admire that you did not drink during that moment of madness and craving - however, I think it is important to say (because that is what makes TSM different from any other form of abstinence) that if you did really, really want that drink on that day, as long as you took your Naltrexone one hour before you drank you would NOT be back to square one and on the slippery slope to out of control drinking again. In fact as you say, if you did have that drink, you probably would have had a hangover from hell and decided not to try it again anyway - as the Nal would have stopped the buzz.

I think that this is why TSM works for so many people - you can drink if you want to - as long as you take a pill one hour before. On the TSM forum there are many people who have now been AF for several years on TSM, but still always keep a Naltrexone to hand - just in case. This gives choice. No white knuckling, no deprivation, if you want it you can - but most choose not too.

That is correct however my desire to drink is incredibly low and I know it's not a craving for the taste, if anything I feel sick thinking about the taste. I'd like the time out being blasted gives me, however the hangover would not be worth it. I also have great pride in being able to reach a certain number of months and in the future years without drinking. It makes me feel good and I could no longer say 16 months AF if I did drink. What I would gain from drinking is far less than the feeling I get NOT drinking.

I think the best way to explain how I feel is that drinking again is an unknown, I don't need or have to have it, so I'll err on the safe side and not drink.

[YouKayBee]

Hi UKB - you are a great inspiration to me. I am now on my 5th week TSM and my drinking level has already dropped by 1/3rd with no effort and I hope to one day be in the position you are.

I admire that you did not drink during that moment of madness and craving - however, I think it is important to say (because that is what makes TSM different from any other form of abstinence) that if you did really, really want that drink on that day, as long as you took your Naltrexone one hour before you drank you would NOT be back to square one and on the slippery slope to out of control drinking again. In fact as you say, if you did have that drink, you probably would have had a hangover from hell and decided not to try it again anyway - as the Nal would have stopped the buzz.

I think that this is why TSM works for so many people - you can drink if you want to - as long as you take a pill one hour before. On the TSM forum there are many people who have now been AF for several years on TSM, but still always keep a Naltrexone to hand - just in case. This gives choice. No white knuckling, no deprivation, if you want it you can - but most choose not too.

Yes, and I am so glad you are noticing a difference.

[summerglow]

I have tried NAL before and had to top it as I needed to have pain relief and a spinal operation.

During the time I took it, I did notice an effect.

Now on baclofen and not keen on the side effects. I went up to 60mg's and on this site some people are taking upwards of 200....I am not happy taking all these tablets, when on TSM all you have to take is "One Little Pill"..which is the title of the film, a teaser which you can find on You Tube if anyone is interested.

Will make a post when I get back on the NAL.

[YouKayBee]

Sounds like you liked the simplicity of TSM, sorry painrelief had to get in the way. I'm looking forward to future updates from you Summerglow.

[YouKayBee]

I thought it might be poignant to make a post about my Christmas so far.

I have not had any alcohol - this is my 2nd AF Christmas, and prior to this I had 2 moderating/within safe limits Christmasses.

This year because my lifestyle is different, friends drinking has also dropped or they are used to me not drinking, there has been zero comments. I've not gone out for meals because I don't want to, and my boyfriend only had one glass of wine the whole time I was with him which was around 36 hours.

I drank water with Christmas dinner and I also made sure I didn't use food as a comforter. This took some doing but it didn't spoil the day one bit. It was really, really nice to not be stuffed and sleepy. I even got a lovely walk in too.

A visitor did I think out of habit make a joke about having some alcohol, but I think that was sheer habit and I didn't feel I was missing out at all. In fact it made me think how people associate alcohol with Christmas, yet being close to those close to me, laughing and joking (which started at 7.30am that morning),was not affected by not drinking. In fact I'd say it took the blanket away - I was me.

As always I'm simply wanting to share my experiences and this was a magical and revealing time.

Merry Christmas.

For anyone who doesn't know a great deal about TSM, I am not taking any anti-craving meds - after TSM works as far as I understand if you don't drink, you don't need to take the medication and so far (17months AF) I can confirm this is the case.

[guapo]

Good of you to post that. Are you white knuckling and getting through each day at a time? Or not drinking as you just don't want to. The latter has been my experience with TSM. In other words, a choice, not a mandate.

[YouKayBee]

I don't want to drink and I am certainly not white knuckling - I did that for 5 months and 3 weeks in 2010.

I am post-TSM which means the physical cravings are gone, zilch. I do miss the escape from drinking, but it is not crippling or overwhelming. I can freely chose not to drink and I choose to face life without alcohol(or any other mind altering drug, see further down this post).

The reason I don't drink (and I'm sure I've posted this previously, possibly on this very thread), is because after 12-18 months of post cure TSM (cure being the point that you are aware you no longer are driven by alcohol)I got fed up of even moderating. I wasn't enjoying the feeling of even one glass of wine, didn't like the taste, didn't like the slight wooziness of 1 unit of alcohol and on occasions that I was deciding to get drunk it was for the sheer hell of it, I was necking without need. I also didn't like trying to work out could I drink, could I drive after an evening of wine with a meal?I also have previous experience of being AF socially - pre-tsm when I drank it got to the point where it was too dangerous for me to drink at social events, I'd end up unsociable either in a heap on the floor, or off seeking more booze. So when I went out anywhere I had to stay sober or not go at all.

Post TSM cure point I also knew that I didn't want to risk any of the TSM process reversing so I spoke to Lo0p. We had a lengthy phone call during which he more or less said, "hell you don't have cravings, don't enjoy it so why not just quit, go AF, insure yourself against any long term reversal".

I'd already had 7 days AF which wasn't unusual, in fact I'd had a few months AF due to lifestyle earlier on that year.

So I decided to go AF, and the sort of person I am means that once I decide, I decide - and without the cravings to drink this time I could do it long term. Having days and years AF also feels like a target and achievement, it also means I live every day utterly sober.

My recovery is also a drug free one, all mind altering drugs bar caffiene are off the cards - I've basicaly had enough of being spannered or altered in some way, so this was another choice of mine. I have also noticed that pubs have lost their attraction, and I joke that TSM also deaddicted me from pubs. For anyone in the US, english pubs are like a nice warm, social place and part of the social scene. I loved going to pubs and just sitting there with food, a pint of cider and a newspaper. These days I try to imagine going in there, not to drink alcohol, just coffee and the paper, and no I cannot see any attraction. Nice coffee shop for coffee with close friend, yes I love it, but pubs have completely gone for me.

It is hard work in that I have to learn to deal with life 24/7 but I am very proud of it.

I don't phone a sponsor, I don't pray daily and I don't believe in a God but I have learned to pray when things are tough, whether it helps I don't know but it helps to just say my hopes out loud and it doesn't hurt me to do it.

I think I have an acceptance - if it doesn't hurt and it might help, then I give it a go!

[YouKayBee]

I think one of the things I am trying to say in that long post, and the previous one is that I seem to have deconditioned myself out of the drinking culture and I really like that!It makes me feel a bit smug!

[YouKayBee]

I don't see it as a message to spread, I don't want to become envanglical about it. What I want to do is communicate the fact that it is possible to have a life without alcohol, and that addiction is a complex issue. I also enjoy challenging the masses, especially the way in which alcohol is peddled as a social thing, without it you are somehow missing out, but as an alcoholic you are despised.

One thing I am struggling with at the moment are the reactions I am receiving from some people. As time goes on in my recovery I am telling more and more people the reason why I do not drink. Levels of ignorance are incredibly high, and some people like to turn it into a 'what was it you were drinking to blot out?' type grilling. So no well done, or empathy, just 'well there must have been something awful happen to you?'.

Actually no, I wasn't abused or raped, no awful deaths or separation. I do know people who have had terrible things happen to them, yet they have no issue with substances or alcohol. Is it in my family, well not really and my parents are tee total for health reasons. I have asked my partner for feedback, he says that before he was closely involved with someone who had alcoholism which is me, he used to think there was a simple solution and would dish out well meaning help to those with drug or alcohol issues. He has now learned that help has to come from within the alcoholic, and it has to be really strong. When I get down to it there has been layer upon layer of subtleties which have lead to what Bowlby & Ainsworth would call insecure attachment, and perhaps that has been key (you might want to look up 'attachment theory'), but for me I don't think it's as straightforward as x happened which I didn't want to know about. It just crept up over time, my life and drinking, until it was impossible to turn it back.

The bar scene in the United States isn't necessarily warm and cozy, but when you get away from it you realize it's also very unattractive. Your posts are reasonable, and tell the real deal.

It's nice to get the TSM MESSAGE out there, as I see many many many failures in both the abstinent and moderation world, also much angst and frustration. Drinking has completely ceased to be a problem in any way shape or form for myself, and like you, the naltrexone allowed me to get there, but by no means controls my day to day behavior at all anymore

There is a sentiment afoot, that is very skeptical and views TSM with disbelief, or as just downright ridiculous. In fact, I have witnessed many good success stories, including yours.

Let's post our successes in a good way, so people know this great option is available.

[YouKayBee]

I don't say "I can't" I say I "don't drink", I have chosen not to drink and I know if I want to I can drink albeit with Nal or without nal. It's all my choice.

Renton in Trainspotting Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin can openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life . . . But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?

Trainspotting 1996.

[Spiritfree]

Hi YKB - I think that is very important that others coming on board read and realize that there are many different ways and means to become sober. Some ways work better for some than other ways. AUD is very complex and the cure is found differently for all. Thanks for sharing your story and information.

[summerglow]

Well I've been to my addiction doctor today and I'm back on NAL. (UK)

I've already taken 12.5 mg just to be safe. I'll do this for a couple of days then go up to 25mg's, then the full amount.

I just have to be careful I don't take anything with codeine it it.

I am sure this time it will work for me as I am determined. I used to be put off going out to social situtions as I could never remember half of it!

Watch this space!