On side effects and going up again

[zampa75]

Hi all,
I know that I have asked the same question before but the last few days the SE's have been quite a bitch. Overwhelming afternoon drowsiness, like right now (and I find it almost impossible to get out of bed in the morning: if I had a regular 9-5 job right now I'd be screwed) and horrible, annihilating nausea, like right now, are the worst ones (plus another I will spare you the details of). I am at 120 mg/day and as I have said many times I can-not-wait to reach the damn switch (no kidding, ha), so I am tempted to go further up in a couple of days but I am afraid I will want to rip my stomach off while falling asleep on the desk, if that's even possible. So here's the Q: should I just stay at 120 mg and wait for the SEs to subside, or go up anyway? I will have to be back to a more demanding work schedule when the academic year starts, so I am trying to grit my teeth through it as fast as possible to get my body accustomed to the SEs before I need to function like a regular human being again. But on the other hand, I wonder if my body should get used to it at this dose before going further up?

I keep reading posts looking for those magical half sentences that talk of success, of change, of switch, of freedom, because some moments I am tempted to throw all the pills out of the window and be done with this - but then I refrain myself because then I would really have nothing to hold on to - zero hope, and I have been afraid of myself sometimes when I drink way way too much lately. :upset:

So I keep telling myself to keep taking the damn pills and believe in it, but in moments like this it's really freaking hard.

Plus, that habit thing I asked you all about: I tell myself that I must stay AF for a few days to "help" the switch in, to see if I feel differently after a few days, but, though I can push the drinking start to later at night and the urge is not as overwhelming as it was, I still go to the store every single day... First 2 glasses are almost hard to push down, but then.....

I also smoke sooo much more because when the supply is finished I need to replace it with something else (I refuse to go back to the store as it'd involve driving), so maybe I chain smoke 4 cigarettes in addition the all the ones I have smoked during the night (easily at least twice as many as 2 months ago): so, I wonder if Bac has any role in this. increasing my smoking was definitely not another "side effect" I was looking for. At all.

Again, any feedback and encouragement greatly appreciated. :thanks:

[kronkcarr]

On side effects and going up again

I say push through the SEs while you can--before school starts. I had that nausea and pushed through it. You need to fuel your body. I remember one day driving to work and knowing I needed to eat. I wanted creme br?l?e --not much of that chance at 7:30am--or V8 so V8 it was. Take your vitamins and supplements and push through. Indifference is pure heaven. I promise you.

[bleep]

On side effects and going up again

It can be a real bitch, but it's worth it.

There are 2 things to try here. The pills are making you sick, so taking more seems completely against the grain, but strangely it can help. I would be trying everything to get a break though - you will be amazed at the difference after a night or two without booze. Promise yourself a drunken, drug-fueled orgy on the weekend if that's your thing if you just don't drink for a couple of nights this weekend. If you are at a sufficient level, when the weekend rolls around you might find you take a pass, on the booze side of the orgy anyway. It's worth a bash.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

On side effects and going up again

Hi Zampa.

I am usually very cautious about suggesting people go up. It can backfire. But it worked for me. And 140 mg is a magic number for a lot of people.

How much are you going up when you do go up? When was the last time you did increase? What else can you do to alleviate the stomach issues? And what about the rest of life? Honestly, changing the habit comes with changing life around. Finally, are you getting any exercise? It's beating a dead horse around here to mention exercise, but it really can be a life saver. All those feel good chemicals running around in your brain, even if you can't necessarily feel them, fuel the same things that booze does. Plus, it alleviates at least 20 minutes of the day. And there is something about taking care of yourself that makes everything better. At least for me, and many others. (By exercise, I mean a daily walk or whatever.)

Free time is anathema to getting well, by the way. That's not "true" or "fact" but it's my experience.

Also, it might be helpful to think of it as the booze is making you sick and the pills are making you better. (Which is true.) They're working at cross purposes. The more pills you can stomach, the less booze you will drink, the better you will feel. Until voila! No more booze and you're actually and truly free.

Titrating up seriously sucked for me. It was the worst! But absolutely worth every single awful day to get to where I am--3 and a half years free of alcohol addiction after more than 20 as a slave to the bottle.

Hang in there. The pills work. :l

[zampa75]

On side effects and going up again

Guys, I don't know how to thank you for your support and for the encouraging words. Thank you times a hundred.

Ne, I go up 10 mg every seven days. Last time was last Thursday. And yes, I do exercise and I have for years. I know I would feel a lot worse if I didn't because of the feeling-so-good afterwards: I swim an average of 5 mornings a week, between 40 minutes and an hour. Sometimes I ride my bike too. Also, I find that if I take the first dose right before exercising, the side effects are milder, but yesterday was a brutal exception. Brutal. I don't know what I could do to ease the stomach issues. Drowsiness I fight with coffee, of course.

Kronk, I used the supplements a year and a half ago but honestly I did not feel any difference, except maybe for L-glut, but I asked here a very specific question about it a few weeks ago and someone replied that it's totally useless, as is cutting sugar and carbs.

I do believe all of you guys when you say that the bliss of indifference is worth every lousy day, and that's why I am pushing through, this time, while the previous 3 I gave up almost immediately, more out of impatience than b/c of side effects, b/c I never went higher than 50 mg in the past (how stupid: one gets so impatient to get well fast that she gives up on the very option....^%$#@&????).

I know I'll also feel better when I am busier: boredom is alcohol's best ally. So I do hope this incapability of getting out of bed in the morning will subside soon as well as the rest (today alarm set at 9 - made it out of bed at 10 only out of anxiety but I would have stayed there).

In an attempt to keep the SEs at bay, yesterday I decided to take the bulk of my daily dose before going to bed (not a good idea as far as the point above, but hey, I have to make choices, I guess...). Result? I accidentally took the last dose twice. So yesterday I took a whopping 170 mg. Not planning on getting there again, today, of course. Will stay at 120 till Thu, but I will go up to 130 that day. You all suggest to keep pushing, and my impatience, in all respects, trusts your experience with it all.

Bleep, I still need to get those couple of AF days in....I just need a day, one day, when I feel positive and optimistic. I have been quite depressed lately.

So yes, I am going up and looking forward to a busier schedule to get me going and free me from my destructive thoughts. I'll go as high as I can before school starts, as you guys suggested, and as I thought, so I get the worst under my belt before having a real schedule. Sounds like a plan?

[Lostinspace]

On side effects and going up again

zampa - I wasn't sure whether to reply to your thread or not, given that I'm still titrating up myself. I'm also at 120 mg, although I'm one of the fortunate ones who has no side effects, so I can't advise you there.

But, it sounds like you're getting significant craving relief at the dose you're on. You can barely get down those first two glasses? I would agree with other people that you should try to push for some AF time.

I feel like a hypocrite, of course, because I did drink today. But I recently got through four days with nothing! I suspect (with both of us) that the craving reduction you're feeling could signify that you're close to the switch. It may be uncomfortable right now, but you're probably not one of the people who has to go to very high doses. (Of course, this is just my very limited opinion as someone going through titrating up to the switch). Anyway, I wish you well!

EDIT TO ALL: I apologize if my experience is irrelevant. I just, personally, feel like I'm getting close to the switch, and it sounds to me like zampa is, too. Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

On side effects and going up again

That sounds like a great plan, Zampa. I'm envious of your workout schedule.

(It's 5 am here, and my 3 month old puppy is delving into nooks and crannies looking for trouble. Which is fine, because when she's not distracted by something that's potentially life-threatening, she's sinking her needle-sharp teeth in my skin. So forgive if this is a little more disjointed than normal!)

Where was I? The stomach thing: Well, there's peptobismol! And diet. (Not that I'm encouraging some sort of super-commitment to changing the diet all around! Lots of drama on the diet front...) Coffee upsets my stomach. I drank it by the pot through much of my titration up, though, so I don't know that I can encourage you to give that up! Maybe that drug that you take everyday? I forget...tagamet? That helped Ed for a while when he was having stomach issues. Also, not taking the pills on an empty stomach. I still avoid doing that, because it can definitely cause GI distress. What else? I'll keep coming up with suggestions until you tell me to shut up. ha!

I'm going to say this just to you, and just under this circumstance, but I think 140 mg is a really good (immediate) goal. You might think about moving up to that sooner rather than later. (I clarified because I don't want other people thinking that skipping from ~70 to 140 is what I'm suggesting. I'm definitely not doing that.) Why am I suggesting this? Because there is something about that number. And because you've been at this a long time, and you're committed and you've got a very reasonable deadline. Most importantly, it's because you are being pretty reasonable about the whole thing!

Look, it can suck. We ALL know that. But this stuff works like nothing else on the planet. It's alcoholism's kryptonite.

Puppy is now chewing on my laptop. I'm going to have to go entertain her.

Hope it's a good day, Zampa.

[kronkcarr]

On side effects and going up again

Z--something I forgot to say--my SEs changed with my dose. So when you go up you may lose the stomach issues. bleep pointed this out to me and it was so true. Good luck going up.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

On side effects and going up again

It was prilosec. It seemed to help.